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8<title>The Devil&#8217;s Dictionary: L</title>
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11
12<h1>L</h1>
13
14<p class="entry"><span class="def">labor</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One of
15the processes by which A acquires property for B.</p>
16
17<p class="entry"><span class="def">land</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A part of
18the earth’s surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property
19subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society,
20and is eminently worthy of the superstructure. Carried to its logical
21conclusion, it means that some have the right to prevent others from living;
22for the right to own implies the right exclusively to occupy; and in fact laws
23of trespass are enacted wherever property in land is recognized. It follows
24that if the whole area of <i>terra firma</i>
25is owned by A, B and C, there will be no place for D, E, F and G to be born,
26or, born as trespassers, to exist.</p>
27
28<div class="poem">
29<p class="poetry">A life on the ocean wave,</p>
30<p class="poetry">A home on the rolling deep,</p>
31<p class="poetry">For the spark the nature gave</p>
32<p class="poetry">I have there the right to keep.</p>
33<p class="poetry">They give me the cat-o’-nine</p>
34<p class="poetry">Whenever I go ashore.</p>
35<p class="poetry">Then ho! for the flashing brine—</p>
36<p class="poetry">I’m a natural commodore!</p>
37<p class="citeauth">Dodle</p>
38</div>
39
40<p class="entry"><span class="def">language</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
41music with which we charm the serpents guarding another’s treasure.</p>
42
43<p class="entry"><span class="def">Laocoon</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
44famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and his
45two sons in the folds of two enormous serpents. The skill and diligence with
46which the old man and lads support the serpents and keep them up to their work
47have been justly regarded as one of the noblest artistic illustrations of the
48mastery of human intelligence over brute inertia.</p>
49
50<p class="entry"><span class="def">lap</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One of the
51most important organs of the female system—an admirable provision of nature for
52the repose of infancy, but chiefly useful in rural festivities to support
53plates of cold chicken and heads of adult males. The male of our species has a
54rudimentary lap, imperfectly developed and in no way contributing to the
55animal’s substantial welfare.</p>
56
57<p class="entry"><span class="def">last</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
58shoemaker’s implement, named by a frowning Providence as opportunity to the
59maker of puns.</p>
60
61<div class="poem">
62<p class="poetry">Ah, punster, would my lot were cast,</p>
63<p class="poetry">Where the cobbler is unknown,</p>
64<p class="poetry">So that I might forget his last</p>
65<p class="poetry">And hear your own.</p>
66<p class="citeauth">Gargo Repsky</p>
67</div>
68
69<p class="entry"><span class="def">laughter</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
70interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by
71inarticulate noises. It is infectious and, though intermittent, incurable. Liability
72to attacks of laughter is one of the characteristics distinguishing man from
73the animals—these being not only inaccessible to the provocation of his
74example, but impregnable to the microbes having original jurisdiction in
75bestowal of the disease. Whether laughter could be imparted to animals by
76inoculation from the human patient is a question that has not been answered by
77experimentation. Dr. Meir Witchell holds that the infection character of
78laughter is due to the instantaneous fermentation of <i>sputa</i> diffused in a spray. From this peculiarity he names
79the disorder <i>Convulsio spargens</i>.</p>
80
81<p class="entry"><span class="def">laureate</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Crowned
82with leaves of the laurel. In England the Poet Laureate is an officer of the
83sovereign’s court, acting as dancing skeleton at every royal feast and
84singing-mute at every royal funeral. Of all incumbents of that high office,
85Robert Southey had the most notable knack at drugging the Samson of public joy
86and cutting his hair to the quick; and he had an artistic color-sense which
87enabled him so to blacken a public grief as to give it the aspect of a national
88crime.</p>
89
90<p class="entry"><span class="def">laurel</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The <i>laurus</i>, a vegetable dedicated to Apollo,
91and formerly defoliated to wreathe the brows of victors and such poets as had
92influence at court. (<i>Vide supra.</i>)</p>
93
94<p id="law" class="entry"><span class="def">law</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span></p>
95
96<div class="poem">
97<p class="poetry">Once Law was sitting on the bench,</p>
98<p class="poetry">And Mercy knelt a-weeping.</p>
99<p class="poetry">“Clear out!” he cried, “disordered wench!</p>
100<p class="poetry">Nor come before me creeping.</p>
101<p class="poetry">Upon your knees if you appear,</p>
102<p class="poetry">‘Tis plain your have no standing here.”</p>
103<p class="poetry">Then Justice came. His Honor cried:</p>
104<p class="poetry">“<i>Your</i> status?&#8212;devil seize you!”</p>
105<p class="poetry">“<i>Amica curiae,</i>” she replied—</p>
106<p class="poetry">“Friend of the court, so please you.”</p>
107<p class="poetry">“Begone!” he shouted—“there’s the door—</p>
108<p class="poetry">I never saw your face before!”</p>
109<p class="citeauth">G. J.</p>
110</div>
111
112<p class="entry"><span class="def">lawful</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Compatible
113with the will of a judge having jurisdiction.</p>
114
115<p id="lawyer" class="entry"><span class="def">lawyer</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
116skilled in circumvention of the law.</p>
117
118<p class="entry"><span class="def">laziness</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Unwarranted
119repose of manner in a person of low degree.</p>
120
121<p class="entry"><span class="def">lead</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A heavy
122blue-gray metal much used in giving stability to light lovers—particularly to
123those who love not wisely but other men’s wives. Lead is also of great service
124as a counterpoise to an argument of such weight that it turns the scale of
125debate the wrong way. An interesting fact in the chemistry of international
126controversy is that at the point of contact of two patriotisms lead is
127precipitated in great quantities.</p>
128
129<div class="poem">
130<p class="poetry">Hail, holy Lead!&#8212;of human feuds the great</p>
131<p class="poetry">And universal arbiter; endowed</p>
132<p class="poetry">With penetration to pierce any cloud</p>
133<p class="poetry">Fogging the field of controversial hate,</p>
134<p class="poetry">And with a sift, inevitable, straight,</p>
135<p class="poetry">Searching precision find the unavowed</p>
136<p class="poetry">But vital point. Thy judgment, when allowed</p>
137<p class="poetry">By the chirurgeon, settles the debate.</p>
138<p class="poetry">O useful metal!&#8212;were it not for thee</p>
139<p class="poetry">We’d grapple one another’s ears alway:</p>
140<p class="poetry">But when we hear thee buzzing like a bee</p>
141<p class="poetry">We, like old Muhlenberg, “care not to stay.”</p>
142<p class="poetry">And when the quick have run away like pellets</p>
143<p class="poetry">Jack Satan smelts the dead to make new bullets.</p>
144</div>
145
146<p class="entry"><span class="def">learning</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
147kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.</p>
148
149<p class="entry"><span class="def">lecturer</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
150with his hand in your pocket, his tongue in your ear and his faith in your patience.</p>
151
152<p class="entry"><span class="def">legacy</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A gift
153from one who is legging it out of this vale of tears.</p>
154
155<p class="entry"><span class="def">leonine</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> Unlike
156a menagerie lion. Leonine verses are those in which a word in the middle of a
157line rhymes with a word at the end, as in this famous passage from Bella Peeler Silcox:</p>
158
159<div class="poem">
160<p class="poetry">The electric light invades the dunnest deep of Hades.</p>
161<p class="poetry">Cries Pluto, ‘twixt his snores: “O tempora! O mores!”</p>
162<p class="poetry">It should be explained that Mrs. Silcox does not undertake to teach pronunciation of the
163Greek and Latin tongues. Leonine verses are so called in honor of a poet named
164Leo, whom prosodists appear to find a pleasure in believing to have been the
165first to discover that a rhyming couplet could be run into a single line.</p>
166</div>
167
168<p class="entry"><span class="def">lettuce</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
169herb of the genus <i>Lactuca</i>, “Wherewith,” says that pious gastronome, Hengist Pelly, “God has been pleased
170to reward the good and punish the wicked. For by his inner light the righteous
171man has discerned a manner of compounding for it a dressing to the appetency
172whereof a multitude of gustible condiments conspire, being reconciled and
173ameliorated with profusion of oil, the entire comestible making glad the heart
174of the godly and causing his face to shine. But the person of spiritual unworth
175is successfully tempted to the Adversary to eat of lettuce with destitution of
176oil, mustard, egg, salt and garlic, and with a rascal bath of vinegar polluted
177with sugar. Wherefore the person of spiritual unworth suffers an intestinal
178pang of strange complexity and raises the song.”</p>
179
180<p class="entry"><span class="def">leviathan</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
181enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been the
182whale, but that distinguished ichthyologer, Dr. Jordan, of Stanford University,
183maintains with considerable heat that it was a species of gigantic Tadpole
184(<i>Thaddeus Polandensis</i>) or Polliwig&#8212;<i>Maria
185pseudo-hirsuta</i>. For an exhaustive description and history of the
186Tadpole consult the famous monograph of Jane Potter, <i>Thaddeus of Warsaw</i>.</p>
187
188<p class="entry"><span class="def">lexicographer</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
189pestilent fellow who, under the pretense of recording some particular stage in
190the development of a language, does what he can to arrest its growth, stiffen
191its flexibility and mechanize its methods. For your lexicographer, having
192written his dictionary, comes to be considered “as one having authority,”
193whereas his function is only to make a record, not to give a law. The natural
194servility of the human understanding having invested him with judicial power,
195surrenders its right of reason and submits itself to a chronicle as if it were
196a statue. Let the dictionary (for example) mark a good word as “obsolete” or
197“obsolescent” and few men thereafter venture to use it, whatever their need of
198it and however desirable its restoration to favor—whereby the process of
199improverishment is accelerated and speech decays. On the contrary, recognizing
200the truth that language must grow by innovation if it grow at all, makes new
201words and uses the old in an unfamiliar sense, has no following and is tartly
202reminded that “it isn’t in the dictionary”&#8212;although down to the time of the
203first lexicographer (Heaven forgive him!) no author ever had used a word that <i>was</i> in the dictionary. In the golden prime
204and high noon of English speech; when from the lips of the great Elizabethans
205fell words that made their own meaning and carried it in their very sound; when
206a Shakespeare and a Bacon were possible, and the language now rapidly perishing
207at one end and slowly renewed at the other was in vigorous growth and hardy
208preservation—sweeter than honey and stronger than a lion—the lexicographer was
209a person unknown, the dictionary a creation which his Creator had not created
210him to create.</p>
211
212<div class="poem">
213<p class="poetry">God said: “Let Spirit perish into Form,”</p>
214<p class="poetry">And lexicographers arose, a swarm!</p>
215<p class="poetry">Thought fled and left her clothing, which they took,</p>
216<p class="poetry">And catalogued each garment in a book.</p>
217<p class="poetry">Now, from her leafy covert when she cries:</p>
218<p class="poetry">“Give me my clothes and I’ll return,” they rise</p>
219<p class="poetry">And scan the list, and say without compassion:</p>
220<p class="poetry">“Excuse us—they are mostly out of fashion.”</p>
221<p class="citeauth">Sigismund Smith</p>
222</div>
223
224<p class="entry"><span class="def">liar</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A lawyer
225with a roving commission.</p>
226
227<p class="entry"><span class="def">liberty</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One of
228Imagination’s most precious possessions.</p>
229
230<div class="poem">
231<p class="poetry">The rising People, hot and out of breath,</p>
232<p class="poetry">Roared around the palace: “Liberty or death!”</p>
233<p class="poetry">“If death will do,” the King said, “let me reign;</p>
234<p class="poetry">You’ll have, I’m sure, no reason to complain.”</p>
235<p class="citeauth">Martha Braymance</p>
236</div>
237
238<p class="entry"><span class="def">lickspittle</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
239useful functionary, not infrequently found editing a newspaper. In his
240character of editor he is closely allied to the blackmailer by the tie of
241occasional identity; for in truth the lickspittle is only the blackmailer under
242another aspect, although the latter is frequently found as an independent
243species. Lickspittling is more detestable than blackmailing, precisely as the
244business of a confidence man is more detestable than that of a highway robber;
245and the parallel maintains itself throughout, for whereas few robbers will
246cheat, every sneak will plunder if he dare.</p>
247
248<p class="entry"><span class="def">life</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
249spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay. We live in daily apprehension
250of its loss; yet when lost it is not missed. The question, “Is life worth
251living?” has been much discussed; particularly by those who think it is not,
252many of whom have written at great length in support of their view and by
253careful observance of the laws of health enjoyed for long terms of years the
254honors of successful controversy.</p>
255
256<div class="poem">
257<p class="poetry">“Life’s not worth living, and that’s the truth,”</p>
258<p class="poetry">Carelessly caroled the golden youth.</p>
259<p class="poetry">In manhood still he maintained that view</p>
260<p class="poetry">And held it more strongly the older he grew.</p>
261<p class="poetry">When kicked by a jackass at eighty-three,</p>
262<p class="poetry">“Go fetch me a surgeon at once!” cried he.</p>
263<p class="citeauth">Han Soper</p>
264</div>
265
266<p class="entry"><span class="def">lighthouse</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
267tall building on the seashore in which the government maintains a lamp and the friend of a politician.</p>
268
269<p class="entry"><span class="def">limb</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
270branch of a tree or the leg of an American woman.</p>
271
272<div class="poem">
273<p class="poetry">‘Twas a pair of boots that the lady bought,</p>
274<p class="poetry">And the salesman laced them tight</p>
275<p class="poetry">To a very remarkable height—</p>
276<p class="poetry">Higher, indeed, than I think he ought—</p>
277<p class="poetry">Higher than <i>can</i> be right.</p>
278<p class="poetry">For the Bible declares—but never mind:</p>
279<p class="poetry">It is hardly fit</p>
280<p class="poetry">To censure freely and fault to find</p>
281<p class="poetry">With others for sins that I’m not inclined</p>
282<p class="poetry">Myself to commit.</p>
283<p class="poetry">Each has his weakness, and though my own</p>
284<p class="poetry">Is freedom from every sin,</p>
285<p class="poetry">It still were unfair to pitch in,</p>
286<p class="poetry">Discharging the first censorious stone.</p>
287<p class="poetry">Besides, the truth compels me to say,</p>
288<p class="poetry">The boots in question were <i>made</i> that way.</p>
289<p class="poetry">As he drew the lace she made a grimace,</p>
290<p class="poetry">And blushingly said to him:</p>
291<p class="poetry">“This boot, I’m sure, is too high to endure, It hurts my—hurts my—limb.”</p>
292<p class="poetry">The salesman smiled in a manner mild,</p>
293<p class="poetry">Like an artless, undesigning child;</p>
294<p class="poetry">Then, checking himself, to his face he gave</p>
295<p class="poetry">A look as sorrowful as the grave,</p>
296<p class="poetry">Though he didn’t care two figs</p>
297<p class="poetry">For her paints and throes,</p>
298<p class="poetry">As he stroked her toes,</p>
299<p class="poetry">Remarking with speech and manner just</p>
300<p class="poetry">Befitting his calling: “Madam, I trust</p>
301<p class="poetry">That it doesn’t hurt your twigs.”</p>
302<p class="citeauth">B. Percival Dike</p>
303</div>
304
305<p class="entry"><span class="def">linen</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> “A kind
306of cloth the making of which, when made of hemp, entails a great waste of
307hemp.”—Calcraft the Hangman.</p>
308
309<p class="entry"><span class="def">litigant</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
310person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.</p>
311
312<p class="entry"><span class="def">litigation</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
313machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage.</p>
314
315<p class="entry"><span class="def">liver</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A large
316red organ thoughtfully provided by nature to be bilious with. The sentiments
317and emotions which every literary anatomist now knows to haunt the heart were
318anciently believed to infest the liver; and even Gascoygne, speaking of the
319emotional side of human nature, calls it “our hepaticall parte.” It was at one
320time considered the seat of life; hence its name—liver, the thing we live with.
321The liver is heaven’s best gift to the goose; without it that bird would be
322unable to supply us with the Strasbourg <i>pate</i>.</p>
323
324<p>LL.D. Letters indicating the degree <i>Legumptionorum Doctor</i>,
325one learned in laws, gifted with legal gumption. Some suspicion is cast upon
326this derivation by the fact that the title was formerly <i>LL.d.</i>, and conferred only upon gentlemen
327distinguished for their wealth. At the date of this writing Columbia University
328is considering the expediency of making another degree for clergymen, in place
329of the old D.D.&#8212;<i>Damnator Diaboli</i>.
330The new honor will be known as <i>Sanctorum Custus</i>, and written <i>$$c</i>. The name of the Rev. John Satan has
331been suggested as a suitable recipient by a lover of consistency, who points
332out that Professor Harry Thurston Peck has long enjoyed the advantage of a
333degree.</p>
334
335<p class="entry"><span class="def">lock-and-key</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
336distinguishing device of civilization and enlightenment.</p>
337
338<p class="entry"><span class="def">Lodger</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A less
339popular name for the Second Person of that delectable newspaper Trinity, the
340Roomer, the Bedder, and the Mealer.</p>
341
342<p class="entry"><span class="def">logic</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The art
343of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and
344incapacities of the human misunderstanding. The basic of logic is the
345syllogism, consisting of a major and a minor premise and a conclusion—thus:</p>
346
347<p><i>Major Premise</i>: Sixty men can do a piece of work sixty times as quickly as one man.</p>
348
349<p><i>Minor Premise</i>: One man can dig a posthole in sixty seconds; therefore—</p>
350
351<p><i>Conclusion</i>: Sixty men can dig a posthole in one second.</p>
352
353<p>This may be called the syllogism arithmetical, in which, by combining logic and mathematics, we
354obtain a double certainty and are twice blessed.</p>
355
356<p class="entry"><span class="def">logomachy</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
357war in which the weapons are words and the wounds punctures in the swim-bladder
358of self-esteem—a kind of contest in which, the vanquished being unconscious of
359defeat, the victor is denied the reward of success.</p>
360
361<div class="poem">
362<p class="poetry">‘Tis said by divers of the scholar-men That poor Salmasius died of Milton’s pen.</p>
363<p class="poetry">Alas! we cannot know if this is true,</p>
364<p class="poetry">For reading Milton’s wit we perish too.</p>
365</div>
366
367<p class="entry"><span class="def">loganimity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> The
368disposition to endure injury with meek forbearance while maturing a plan of revenge.</p>
369
370<p class="entry"><span class="def">longevity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Uncommon
371extension of the fear of death.</p>
372
373<p class="entry"><span class="def">looking-glass</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
374vitreous plane upon which to display a fleeting show for man’s disillusion given.</p>
375
376<p class="cite">The King of
377Manchuria had a magic looking-glass, whereon whoso looked saw, not his own
378image, but only that of the king. A certain courtier who had long enjoyed the
379king’s favor and was thereby enriched beyond any other subject of the realm,
380said to the king: </p>
381
382<p class="cite">“Give me, I pray,
383thy wonderful mirror, so that when absent out of thine august presence I may
384yet do homage before thy visible shadow, prostrating myself night and morning
385in the glory of thy benign countenance, as which nothing has so divine
386splendor, O Noonday Sun of the Universe!”</p>
387
388<p class="cite">Please with the
389speech, the king commanded that the mirror be conveyed to the courtier’s
390palace; but after, having gone thither without apprisal, he found it in an
391apartment where was naught but idle lumber. And the mirror was dimmed with dust
392and overlaced with cobwebs. This so angered him that he fisted it hard,
393shattering the glass, and was sorely hurt. Enraged all the more by this
394mischance, he commanded that the ungrateful courtier be thrown into prison, and
395that the glass be repaired and taken back to his own palace; and this was done.
396But when the king looked again on the mirror he saw not his image as before,
397but only the figure of a crowned ass, having a bloody bandage on one of its
398hinder hooves—as the artificers and all who had looked upon it had before
399discerned but feared to report. Taught wisdom and charity, the king restored
400his courtier to liberty, had the mirror set into the back of the throne and
401reigned many years with justice and humility; and one day when he fell asleep
402in death while on the throne, the whole court saw in the mirror the luminous
403figure of an angel, which remains to this day.</p>
404
405<p class="entry"><span class="def">loquacity</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
406disorder which renders the sufferer unable to curb his tongue when you wish to
407talk.</p>
408
409<p class="entry"><span class="def">lord</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> In
410American society, an English tourist above the state of a costermonger, as,
411lord ‘Aberdasher, Lord Hartisan and so forth. The traveling Briton of lesser
412degree is addressed as “Sir,” as, Sir ‘Arry Donkiboi, or ‘Amstead ‘Eath. The
413word “Lord” is sometimes used, also, as a title of the Supreme Being; but this
414is thought to be rather flattery than true reverence.</p>
415
416<div class="poem">
417<p class="poetry">Miss Sallie Ann Splurge, of her own accord,<br />
418Wedded a wandering English lord—</p>
419<p class="poetry">Wedded and took him to dwell with her “paw,”<br />
420A parent who throve by the practice of Draw.</p>
421<p class="poetry">Lord Cadde I don’t hesitate to declare</p>
422<p class="poetry">Unworthy the father-in-legal care</p>
423<p class="poetry">Of that elderly sport, notwithstanding the truth<br />
424That Cadde had renounced all the follies of youth;</p>
425<p class="poetry">For, sad to relate, he’d arrived at the stage<br />
426Of existence that’s marked by the vices of age.<br />
427Among them, cupidity caused him to urge<br />
428Repeated demands on the pocket of Splurge,<br />
429Till, wrecked in his fortune, that gentleman saw<br />
430Inadequate aid in the practice of Draw,<br />
431And took, as a means of augmenting his pelf,<br />
432To the business of being a lord himself.</p>
433<p class="poetry">His neat-fitting garments he wilfully shed<br />
434And sacked himself strangely in checks instead;</p>
435<p class="poetry">Denuded his chin, but retained at each ear<br />
436A whisker that looked like a blasted career.<br />
437He painted his neck an incarnadine hue<br />
438Each morning and varnished it all that he knew.</p>
439<p class="poetry">The moony monocular set in his eye</p>
440<p class="poetry">Appeared to be scanning the Sweet Bye-and-Bye.<br />
441His head was enroofed with a billycock hat, And
442his low-necked shoes were aduncous and flat.</p>
443<p class="poetry">In speech he eschewed his American ways,</p>
444<p class="poetry">Denying his nose to the use of his A’s</p>
445<p class="poetry">And dulling their edge till the delicate sense<br />
446Of a babe at their temper could take no offence.<br />
447His H’s—‘twas most inexpressibly sweet,<br />
448The patter they made as they fell at his feet!</p>
449<p class="poetry">Re-outfitted thus, Mr. Splurge without fear</p>
450<p class="poetry">Began as Lord Splurge his recouping career.</p>
451<p class="poetry">Alas, the Divinity shaping his end</p>
452<p class="poetry">Entertained other views and decided to send</p>
453<p class="poetry">His lordship in horror, despair and dismay</p>
454<p class="poetry">From the land of the nobleman’s natural prey.</p>
455<p class="poetry">For, smit with his Old World ways,</p>
456<p class="poetry">Lady Cadde Fell—suffering Caesar!&#8212;in love with her dad!</p>
457<p class="citeauth">G. J.</p>
458</div>
459
460<p class="entry"><span class="def">lore</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Learning—particularly
461that sort which is not derived from a regular course of instruction but comes
462of the reading of occult books, or by nature. This latter is commonly
463designated as folk-lore and embraces popularly myths and superstitions. In
464Baring-Gould’s <i>Curious Myths of the Middle
465Ages</i> the reader will find many of these traced backward, through
466various people son converging lines, toward a common origin in remote
467antiquity. Among these are the fables of “Teddy the Giant Killer,” “The
468Sleeping John Sharp Williams,” “Little Red Riding Hood and the Sugar Trust,”
469“Beauty and the Brisbane,” “The Seven Aldermen of Ephesus,” “Rip Van
470Fairbanks,” and so forth. The fable with Goethe so affectingly relates under
471the title of “The Erl- King” was known two thousand years ago in Greece as “The
472Demos and the Infant Industry.” One of the most general and ancient of these
473myths is that Arabian tale of “Ali Baba and the Forty Rockefellers.”</p>
474
475<p class="entry"><span class="def">loss</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> Privation
476of that which we had, or had not. Thus, in the latter sense, it is said of a
477defeated candidate that he “lost his election”; and of that eminent man, the
478poet Gilder, that he has “lost his mind.” It is in the former and more
479legitimate sense, that the word is used in the famous epitaph:</p>
480
481<div class="poem">
482<p class="poetry">Here Huntington’s ashes long have lain</p>
483<p class="poetry">Whose loss is our eternal gain,</p>
484<p class="poetry">For while he exercised all his powers</p>
485<p class="poetry">Whatever he gained, the loss was ours.</p>
486</div>
487
488<p class="entry"><span class="def">love</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> A
489temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from the
490influences under which he incurred the disorder. This disease, like <i>caries</i> and many other ailments, is
491prevalent only among civilized races living under artificial conditions;
492barbarous nations breathing pure air and eating simple food enjoy immunity from
493its ravages. It is sometimes fatal, but more frequently to the physician than to the patient.</p>
494
495<p class="entry"><span class="def">low-bred</span>, <span class="pos">adj.</span> “Raised”
496instead of brought up.</p>
497
498<p class="entry"><span class="def">luminary</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> One
499who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.</p>
500
501<p class="entry"><span class="def">lunarian</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
502inhabitant of the moon, as distinguished from Lunatic, one whom the moon
503inhabits. The Lunarians have been described by Lucian, Locke and other
504observers, but without much agreement. For example, Bragellos avers their
505anatomical identity with Man, but Professor Newcomb says they are more like the
506hill tribes of Vermont.</p>
507
508<p class="entry"><span class="def">lyre</span>, <span class="pos">n.</span> An
509ancient instrument of torture. The word is now used in a figurative sense to
510denote the poetic faculty, as in the following fiery lines of our great poet,
511Ella Wheeler Wilcox:</p>
512
513<div class="poem">
514<p class="poetry">I sit astride Parnassus with my lyre,</p>
515<p class="poetry">And pick with care the disobedient wire.</p>
516<p class="poetry">That stupid shepherd lolling on his crook With deaf attention scarcely deigns to look. I
517bide my time, and it shall come at length, When, with a Titan’s energy and
518strength, I’ll grab a fistful of the strings, and O, The word shall suffer when
519I let them go!</p>
520<p class="citeauth">Farquharson Harris</p>
521</div>
522
523
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