Lines Matching +refs:csh +refs:line +refs:to +refs:string

1 This fortune brought to you by:
6 || The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture!  ||
27 	Your name has been submitted to us with your photo.  I regret to
28 inform you that we will be unable to use your body in our centerfold.  On
29 a scale of one to ten, your body was rated a minus two by a panel of women
30 ranging in age from 60 to 75 years.  We tried to assemble a panel in the
31 age bracket of 25 to 35 years, but we could not get them to stop laughing
32 long enough to reach a decision.  Should the taste of the American woman
39 p.s.	We also want to commend you for your unusual pose.  Were you
149 pond -- that is to say, frogs are Pond-space complete.  We will show that
151 to a frog.  We will suggest these represent a proper subset of frog-computable
161 next machine out to an untrained client, change the permissions on /etc/passwd
162 to 666 and make sure there is a copy somewhere on the disk.  Now when they
182 This is easy.  You never have to figure out what to get for children,
189 might help to encourage your child's antisocial tendencies, but believe
203 at him ("You're not going to wear THAT tie with that suit, are you?").
204 So he has narrowed it down to three safe ties, and has gone several
206 pretend to like it, but deep inside he will hate you.
208 If you want to give a man something practical, consider tires.  More
224 to see some of them deleted from the system?  You can!  Just mail to
236 days will be devoted to discussion of the ramifications of whodo.  Two
252 	    They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
253 	   the strength to get up and do what needs to be done.
264 system in IBM 1710 machine code. Show what changes are necessary to convert
271 it would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the
272 length-girth ratio of the ant to the pickle were 98.17:1.
284 	Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present
292 special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system.
299 	d) all going to be fixed next summer.
303 you have nothing to worry about.
306 2: A traffic light at an intersection changes from yellow to red, you should
321 You need to start as soon as the traffic light for the intersecting
333 are liars.  (Message to those who answered d.  Go back to California where
351 	   horn to call the problem to the driver's attention.
356 Tail lights are used in some foreign countries to signal turns.
363 	d) difficult to clean off the front grille.
365 are totally irrelevant to driving, and you should ignore them
369 9: Roads are salted in order to
398 hash table was bare.  One day Jack's parent said to him, "Our matrices
399 are sparse.  You must go to the market to exchange our RAM for some
400 BASICs."  She compiled a linked list of items to retrieve and passed it
401 to him.
406 	"I'm going to the market to exchange this RAM for some chips
410 	Jack made the trade, then backtracked to his house.  But when
417 		Answers to Last Fortune's Questions:
424     Montana, submitted an interesting solution to Problem 5.
425 (6) There is an interesting solution to this problem on page 1029 of my
438 Know what to kiss -- and when.
447 	You have no right to be here.
453 	(Sung to the tune of "Rubber Duckie")
465 Perhaps a set of pedals to make the number of bits four.
473 		(to Nicholas Wirth, who suggested that an extra bit
474 		be added to terminal codes on 36-bit machines for use
502 will be given to candidates who self-actualize.
506 	2: "Even Buddha would have been hard pushed to reach Nirvana squatting
513 	5: Account for the lack of references to brown rice in Dylan's lyrics.
532 2.	When you're flying through the air, remember to roll
536 		to psychological problems.
537 5.	Food will be scarce, you will have to scavenge.  Learn to recognize
542 7.	Try to be neat, fall only in designated piles.
545 9.	Nutritionally, hundred dollar bills are equal to one's, but more
546 		sanitary due to limited circulation.
555 Uzi is going to get more tactical firepower delivered -- and delivered on
560 to structural foam acrylic and sheet aluminum.  In fact, detachable magazines
571 	Sung to the tune of "Lola", by the Kinks:
589 * Tools for hitting things to make them loose or to tighten them up or
602 		(to "The Caissons Go Rolling Along")
605 And the system is going to crash.	And the system is going to crash.
606 Teletypes smashed to bits.		Mem'ry cards, one and all,
608 And the system is going to crash.	And the system is going to crash.
610 When you turn the power down,		And the lights will cease to twitch
615 And the system is going to crash.	The system is going to crash.
621 The programmers were wrung out too mindless to care,
626 	I sprang from my tube to see what was the matter.
627 And what to my wondering eyes should appear,
628 	But a Super Programmer, oblivious to fear.
636 	Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread...
640 Then I went to the library to find a thesis topic.
644 Then I went to the library to find a thesis topic.
648 Then I went to the library to find a thesis topic.
650 	How to keep people from hanging out in front of the Dover.
656 Remember to never split an infinitive.  The passive voice should never
657 be used.  Do not put statements in the negative form.  Verbs has to
658 agree with their subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words
662 conjunction.  (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a
665 words, to their antecedents.  Writing carefully, dangling participles
669 be careful to use a singular pronoun with singular nouns in their
682 From 1 to the cube root of 3
690 	Plans to "Eat it later"
694 Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical
695 terms that nobody understands?  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into
699 With our unique training course, we'll show you how to write 20 lines of code
706 	I enclose $1000 in small unmarked bills to cover the cost of
715 to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer
731 Do you want the instant respect that comes from being able to use technical
732 terms that nobody understands?  Do you want to strike fear and loathing into
737 Programming is not for everyone.  But, if you have the desire to learn, we can
739 enough money to keep those lessons coming month after month.
742 To help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to
744 	1: Write down the numbers from zero to nine and the first six letters
748 If you managed to read all three questions without wondering why we asked
753 Many of our students have gone on to achieve great success in all fields of
757 sold a "My Most Unforgettable Program" article to Corrosive Computing magazine.
764 be eligible to win a possible chance to enter a drawing, the winner of which
779 soda.  If an '80s couple goes to a restaurant where they have made a
806 the wallet and tossed it to another carp.  Then that carp passed it to
810 of carp-to-carp walleting."
812 	A carpet installer decides to take a cigarette break after completing
813 the installation in the first of several rooms he has to do.  Finding them
814 missing from his pocket he begins searching, only to notice a small lump in
815 his recently completed carpet-installation.  Not wanting to pull up all that
817 flat.  Foregoing the break, he continues on to the other rooms to be carpeted.
824 a scrawny little man entered the tent and walked up to him.  "Are you the
825 foreman around here?" he asked timidly.  "I'd like to join your circus; I
827 	The foreman nodded assent, whereupon the little man hurried over to
828 the main pole and rapidly climbed up to the very tip-top of the big top.
830 his arms furiously.  Amazingly, rather than plummeting to his death the little
831 man began to fly all around the poles, lines, trapezes and other obstacles,
839 	A crow perched himself on a telephone wire.  He was going to make a
842 	A disciple of another sect once came to Drescher as he was eating
843 his morning meal.  "I would like to give you this personality test", said
844 the outsider, "because I want you to be happy."
846 toaster -- "I wish the toaster to be happy too".
850 got all the way back to the Garden of Eden, whereupon the doctor said, "The
856 	The computer scientist, who'd listened carefully to all of this, then
867 the farmer puts the sows in his pickup and takes them down the road to the
877 don't have the heart to look again.  This is getting ridiculous.  You check
878 today."  With that, the wife peeks out the bedroom window and starts to laugh.
898 were instructed, should they find one of these snakes, to grab the tail end of
899 the snake with one hand and slide the other hand up the body of the snake to
901 downward to break the snake's spine.  All went well for the landing, the
903 men were starting to dig and wondering what had happened to their partner.
905 blood.  He collapsed to the ground.  His buddies were so shocked they could
907 	"I ran from the beachhead to the edge of the jungle, and, as I hit the
912 to break the snake's spine... did you ever goose a tiger?"
914 	A guy returns from a long trip to Europe, having left his beloved
918 	The guy is devastated.  "You know how much that dog meant to me,"
931 	A man leaps to his feet and replies, "Yes, I do, but how can that
932 be?  I raised that dog from a pup to be a vicious killer."
937 finally got a break, a broken leg to be exact.  Someone pointed out that it's
940 	A horrible little boy came up to me and said, "You know in your
947 		-- attributed to Ray Bradbury
952 	A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2.
957 hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
964 state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave.  However,
970 	A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons to
980 saloon, goes up to the bar, leans over it, and says to the bartender,
983 	A man enters a pet shop, seeking to purchase a parrot.  He points
984 to a fine colorful bird and asks how much it costs.
987 French and can recite the periodic table."  He points to another bird
993 	"Well," says the shopkeeper, "to tell you the truth, he doesn't
997 	A man from AI walked across the mountains to SAIL to see the Master,
998 Knuth.  When he arrived, the Master was nowhere to be found.  "Where is the
1001 pilgrimage across the mountains to the temple of AI to seek out new
1005 	A man goes to a tailor to try on a new custom-made suit.  The
1013 	"Nu, bend you knees a little to take up the slack.  There you
1019 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
1023 that he had really enjoyed their time together, and hoped to see her again,
1025 	The next day, he called her up and asked her to go dancing.  She
1028 -- if he wanted to bring her a gift, well, he should bring her a Swiss Army
1048 who considers my two mistresses to be her best friends."
1050 something?  It sounds to me like you have no problems at all."
1064 	A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the
1070 to add.  This will take at least two weeks," he finally said.
1071 	"Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
1073 	The programmer agreed to this.
1074 	Several years later, the manager retired.  On the way to his
1079 	A manager was about to be fired, but a programmer who worked for him
1082 	The manager tried to give the programmer a bonus, but the programmer
1087 employee.  Lets promote him to the exalted position of management consultant!"
1093 	A manager went to his programmers and told them: "As regards to your
1094 work hours: you are going to have to come in at nine in the morning and leave
1099 programmers, now satisfied, began to come in a noon and work to the wee
1103 	A manager went to the master programmer and showed him the requirements
1105 it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?"
1108 take it I assign ten programmers to it?"
1110 	"And what if I assign a hundred programmers to it?"
1118 	The novice bolted to attention and handed the device to the master.
1119 "I see that the device claims to have three levels of play: Easy, Medium,
1121 where the device seeks not to conquer the human, nor to be conquered by the
1125 	The master dropped the device to the ground and crushed it under foot.
1129 	A master was explaining the nature of the Tao to one of his novices,
1145 with contemporary circumstance and plot line, and short enough to suit
1151 driving from his suburban bungalow to his job at a large brokerage house
1157 personal effort he could make to change the status quo.  Overcome by a
1158 wave of utter depression and self-doubt, he decided to take the only
1160 drove to the mall and bought imported consumer electronics goods.
1166 new theatrical season.  "Who am I to stone the first cast?"
1175 	A novel approach is to remove all power from the system, which
1176 removes most system overhead so that resources can be fully devoted to
1182 	An alternate approach is to pull the main breaker for the
1183 building, which seems to provide even more nothing, but in truth has
1221 of the gods!  By not seeking to strive, it conquers without effort."
1228 names are put onto the branches, but all to no avail.  How can such an
1236 	A novice programmer was once assigned to code a simple financial
1246 	A novice was trying to fix a broken lisp machine by turning the
1259 	The Englishman volunteered to sacrifice himself for the rest of the
1261 	The American, not wanting to be outdone by an Englishman, offered to
1264 	The Soviet, believing himself to be better than any American, turned
1265 to the Pole and says, "Well, comrade, I shall volunteer to give my life to
1266 save a fellow socialist."  He leaves the shelter and goes out to be killed by
1272 went out to be killed?
1278 "That's what I like to see", said the priest, "A man helping his fellow
1280 	As he was walking away, one local remarked to the other, "Well,
1289 law?  It is simply that the program should always respond to the user in the
1295 disorder and confusion.  The only way to correct this is to rewrite the
1299 	A programmer from a very large computer company went to a software
1300 conference and then returned to report to his manager, saying: "What sort
1305 	The manager said: "I should have never sent you to the conference.
1328 recorded the following on the patient's chart:  "Patient failed to fulfill
1341 of film to Kodak for developing (or "processing," as Kodak likes to call it)
1342 only to receive the following notice:  "We must report that during the handling
1345 touch, don't you think?  Nobody did anything to the films; they just had a bad
1346 experience.  Of course our reader can always go back to Tibet and take his
1351 	A reverend wanted to telephone another reverend.  He told the operator,
1352 "This is a parson to parson call."
1355 	Two brothers, Mort and Bill, like to sail.  While Bill has a great
1357 	Inheritance taxes are getting so out of line, that the deceased family
1358 often doesn't have a legacy to stand on.
1368 	He strolled over to the side of the car and asked, "Ach, lass, are you
1369 SURE you want to know?"  Somewhat nervously, the blonde replied yes, she did
1370 really want to know.
1379 it stops working.  He claims to have verified this with thorough testing.
1383 dawned.  It's the wiring harness that carries the smoke from one device to
1386 requires large quantities of smoke to operate properly, and that's why the wire
1387 going to it is so large.
1388 	Feeling very smug, I continued to expand my hypothesis.  Why are Lucas
1389 electronics more likely to leak than say Bosch?  Hmmm...  Aha!!!  Lucas is
1396 	A shy teenage boy finally worked up the nerve to give a gift to
1397 Madonna, a young puppy.  It hitched its waggin' to a star.
1398 	A girl spent a couple hours on the phone talking to her two best
1401 and I've been telling it to the Maureens."
1402 	Three actors, Tom, Fred, and Cec, wanted to do the jousting scene
1412 will be up to.  Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant.  So says
1418 	A woman was married to a golfer.  One day she asked, "If I were
1419 to die, would you remarry?"
1421 this marriage and I would want to be this happy again."
1433 to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the
1443 	"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on
1449 little pebble on the beach.  The marriage counselor told him, "If you wish to
1453 and joy slowly turned to concern however, for after a couple of years the
1455 therapists, doctors, psychiatrists, all to no avail.  The child simply refused
1456 to speak.  One morning when the child was five, while the husband was reading
1460 after all these years, why have you waited so long to say something?".
1472 and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon
1473 to be created."
1477 right to make his laws?"
1478 	"Oh, no!"  Satan replied, "I ask only that he be allowed to
1487 	"Unix-to-Unix Copy Program;" said PDP-1.  "You will never find a more
1492 	the wilderness, Ferdinand Feghoot arrived to make sure that they
1494 favorite robot, faithful old Yewtoo Artoo, to carry his gear and do assorted
1497 	as the months passed, became very fond of him.  Patriarchs took to
1499 children all gathered to hear the many stories with which he was programmed.
1500 Therefore it came as a great shock to them when, just as their journey was
1514 	All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and
1515 how to be I learned in kindergarten.  Wisdom was not at the top of the
1540 	Everything you need to know is in there somewhere.  The Golden
1546 had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them
1547 and to clean up their own mess.
1549 out into the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.
1550 		-- Robert Fulghum, "All I Ever Really Needed to Know
1573 	All that you buy,		And all that's to come,
1583 with one astronaut from each country.  Since it's going to be two long, lonely
1585 or less.  The American approaches the NASA board and asks to take his 125 lb.
1587 	The Japanese astronaut says, "I've always wanted to learn Latin.  I
1592 to welcome back the astronauts.  Well, it's obvious what the American's been
1593 up to, he and his wife are each holding an infant.  The crowd cheers.  The
1600 	An airplane pilot got engaged to two very pretty women at the same
1605 	An architect's first work is apt to be spare and clean.  He knows
1609 after embellishment occur to him.  These get stored away to be used "next
1612 is ready to build a second system.
1615 other as to the general characteristics of such systems, and their differences
1618 	The general tendency is to over-design the second system, using all
1630 	After a little more thought, she says, "I would like to be rich
1634 	"Well," says the woman, "I would like for you to transform my
1639 	As they gaze at each other in adoration, the prince leans over to
1643 	An elderly man stands in line for hours at a Warsaw meat store (meat
1651 outburst like that only a few years ago" -- and he points an imaginary gun to
1659 The leader of the tribe comes up to them and says, "Even though you are about
1660 to killed, your deaths will not be in vain.  Every part of your body will be
1665 and we offer you a chance to kill yourself with our ceremonial knife."
1674 in the newspaper and asks his scientist grandson to explain it to him.
1681 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
1683 	An older student came to Otis and said, "I have been to see a
1686 I have given up everything I was asked to give up and I have suffered, but
1693 to tiny bits, in thy mercy" and the Lord did grin and the people did feast
1698 take out the Holy Pin, then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
1701 that thou then proceed to three.  Five is right out.  Once the number
1707 	"And what will you do when you grow up to be as big as me?"
1713 someone qualified who is willing to accept the post."
1717 young welp with a masochistic streak who would like to run the most
1722 to make the lady and gentleman comfortable in their penthouse suite in the
1729 	"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
1736 preaching to a group of disciples.
1742 	On the way to town, Hakuin was greeted by an itinerant monk imbued
1751 soldiers as I am heir to, hope to withstand the impending onslaught?"
1755 	Then, a redneck went up to Hakuin and vaporized the old Master with
1756 his shotgun.  "Ha! Beat ya' to the punchline, ya' scrawny li'l geek!"
1763 	"No, Ma'am.  Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
1769 you, shoot you, break things in your apartment, say horrible things to your
1776 Los Angeles fainted from hyperoxygenation, and we had to hold his head
1782 	One day Zarathud took his students to a pleasant pasture and
1793 	"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it,
1800 and, when Bubba tipped his head back to empty the Jim Beam, he fell out of the
1802 look too good, they started up the Evinrude and headed back to the pier.
1804 teeth were chattering like all get out.  Jim Bob said, "Leroy, go run up to
1808 what you need to do is get all them wet clothes off of Bubba, and take your
1810 get under that pile, and hug up to Bubba real close so that you warm him up.
1812 	Leroy and the Doc 10-4'ed each other, and Leroy came back to the
1822 	It was decided to change the gauge of all southern roads to standard,
1825 axles to the new and narrower gauge, to have a supply of rolling stock which
1827 great numbers of gangs of track layers went to work at dawn.  Everywhere one
1837 	Kennicott considered it, and mumbled to Calibree, "Think you folks
1838 would like to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
1839 	Calibree considered it, and mumbled to his wife, "Think you'd like
1840 to stop and try a ride on the merry-go-round?"
1842 I don't believe I care to much, but you folks go ahead and try it."
1843 	Calibree stated to Kennicott, "No, I don't believe we care to a
1855 Due to the convergence of forces beyond his comprehension,
1860 way I ought to go from here?"
1861 	"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said
1876 old as the average dog can, but she's got a pretty good memory to boot.
1878 is forever stinkmouthing my hounds, brought some city fellow around to
1882 come to a little clearing, jumped about three foot straight up in the air,
1883 run to the other side, and commenced to letting out a racket like she had
1887 stood right to the tree and kept singing up into it.  So I pulled off my
1901 diskette(s) on which the program is furnished to be of black color and
1924 be able to get over you -- so would you mind answering the phone?"
1943 	"Well, SOMEbody's out to get me!"
1946 	Does anyone know how to get chocolate syrup and honey out of a
1947 white electric blanket?  I'm afraid to wash it in the machine.
1972 at a time when it was popularly supposed to produce such mystical or
1973 "mind-expanding" experiences, much as LSD is supposed to produce such
1976 to put on record, at the earliest moment of regaining consciousness, the
1981 human experience and is the key to all the mysteries that philosophy has
1982 sought in vain to solve, flashed upon me in a sudden revelation.  Henceforth
1983 all was clear: a few words had lifted my intelligence to the level of the
1985 my resolution; and, staggering to my desk, I wrote, in ill-shaped, straggling
1994 She's a woman who conks to stupor.
1996 man commented, "Sounds to me like a practical choker."
1999 bad legs should stick to long skirts because they cover a multitude of shins.
2012 time it has taken you to read this sentence so far, an electron could
2013 have traveled all the way from San Francisco to Hackensack, New Jersey,
2014 although God alone knows why it would want to.
2024 after their wedding, he presented the lady to a friend who said politely,
2025 "Congratulations, Herr d'Albert; you have rarely introduced me to so
2028 	Everything is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
2029 far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
2030 the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
2031 	It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
2033 	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everybody
2036 and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
2037 sizes don't run the way they used to.  The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
2038 	Even people are changing.  They are so much younger than they used to
2043 	I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair
2045 they don't even make good mirrors like they used to.
2049 mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as
2051 how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence", "Finding Excellence",
2052 "Grasping Hold of Excellence", "Where to Hide Your Excellence at Night
2056 	Exxon's "Universe of Energy" tends to the peculiar rather than the
2060 The dinosaurs are depicted without accuracy and too close to your face.
2061 	"One of the few real novelties at Epcot is the use of smell to
2066 but the import seems to be that dinosaurs don't have anything to do with
2078 to each other, and sometimes to nobody at all, rearranging your
2084 placing hors d'oeuvres in the upright piano to see what happens when
2090 	You want to keep your party somewhere around level 3, unless
2091 you rent your home and own Firearms, in which case you can go to level
2092 4.  The best way to get to level 3 is egg-nog.
2111 evening, their conversation was about the names given to groups of animals,
2114 and posed the question, "What name would be given to that group?"  The four
2117 in acknowledgement as they continued to consider the problem.  A second
2121 remarked to the remaining professor, who was the most senior and learned of
2140 	"Only to ten, Mudhead."
2144 to warm to his summation, "the real question here before you is, shall this
2145 beautiful young woman be forced to languish away her loveliest years in a
2146 dark prison cell?  Or shall she be set free to return to her cozy little
2147 apartment at 4134 Mountain Ave. -- there to spend her lonely, loveless hours
2150 	God decided to take the devil to court and settle their
2153 where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
2157 to the most stringent requirements of the new appropriateness.
2161 the rhetorical components within a post-structuralist framework, so as to
2165 denigrating to the political consensus of the moment.
2175 wouldn't get out of that under $1000!"  Always one to learn from his
2182 Enter your data clearly but always encrypt your results.  And listen to others,
2187 Keep others interested in your career, and try not to fumble; it can be a real
2190 bugs.  But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive
2193 about results; for in the face of all data analysis it is sure to be noticed.
2195 them on to the youth at the next desk.  Nurture some mutual funds to shield
2197 -- the real bugs are enough to screw you badly.  Murphy's Law runs the
2198 Universe -- and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt <Curl>B*n dS = 0.
2200 can conceive of to try.  With all the crashed disks, skewed data, and broken
2201 line printers, you can still have a beautiful secretary.  Be linear.  Strive
2202 to stay employed.
2207 verbed, and adjectives adverbised.  He techniqued a new way to vocabulary his
2208 thoughts so as to informationally uncertain anybody listening about what he
2210 	"If that is how General Haig wants to nervous breakdown the Russian
2211 leadership, he may be shrewding his way to the biggest diplomatic invent
2215 	Hardware met Software on the road to Changtse.  Software said: "You
2218 to conquer the world.
2220 hobbled along propped on a thorny stick.  Firmware said to them: "The Tao
2224 	Software and Hardware, ashamed, returned to their homes.
2228 from the club to an irate, ranting wife.
2231 nine.  It just can't take that long to play 18 holes of golf."
2235 the fourth tee Fred had a stroke.  I ran back to the clubhouse but couldn't
2236 find a doctor.  And, by the time I got back to Fred, he was dead.  So, for
2242 	To cure him of his annoying habit, his friends decided to invent a
2245 "Harry!  Did you hear what happened to George?  He came home last night,
2256 	"Okay, you can send mail to one of the tutors..."
2262 	"Hawk, we're going to die."
2267 until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to
2270 rabies.  Since it was too late to give the patient serum, the doctor
2271 felt he had to prepare him for the worst.  The poor man sat down at the
2272 doctor's desk and began to write.  His physician tried to comfort him.
2276 out a list of people I'm going to bite!"
2279 does he hate it.  Therefore, laughing at evil means not preparing oneself to
2289 	"Heard you were moving your piano, so I came over to help."
2292 	"Nope.  Hitched the cat to it."
2299 	"Four hours to bury a cat!?"
2303 goin' away for a fortnight I thought I'd better bury it just to be
2305 	"Quite right.  You don't want to come back from Sorrento
2306 to a dead cat, do you?"
2317 	"Hmm, lots of people seem to be confused about the difference
2324 willing to pay higher prices for the convenience of being able to shop
2326 "shop for", as opposed to "obtain".  This is the major drawback of home
2328 trees.  The home center employees have no time to reorder merchandise
2329 because they are too busy applying little price stickers to every
2332 broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has
2347 were you afraid to let her touch you?  I saw you.  You were afraid of her."
2350 you.  As to your first question, no cat out of its first fur can ever be
2364 3.155 x 10^7, you won't even try to remember it.  On the other hand,
2365 who could forget that, to within half a percent, pi seconds is a
2370 social climber said to her roommate.  "I mean, I've never seen a Porsche
2380 the mind. But the machine has no corners. Despite all the attempts to
2382 background. It can be programmed to behave as if it were working with
2386 line by code line, the programmer confronts an awful, inevitable truth:
2388 		-- Ellen Ullman, "Close to the Machine"
2391 the phone.  "You'll have to call the weather bureau for that information."
2393 	"Some guy wanting to know if the coast was clear."
2403 	Who'd pawn their own mother to grab it themselves.
2409 	If found, send to Sorhed (with postage prepaid)."
2412 	I did some heavy research so as to be prepared for "Mommy, why is
2417 	I boned up to be ready for, "Why is the grass green?"
2418 	HE wanted to discuss nature's food chains.
2427 	HE described the complexities of the microchips required to create
2437 leads to violence.  What we ought to do, when we anger each other, say,
2439 time to think of witty and learned insults or look them up in the
2450 	  the floor.)  S-word.  Excuse me.  Look, Bob, I'm going to
2451 	  have to get back to you.
2462 tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor
2466 	"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master--
2476 	Personally, I feel that it is well worth 75 cents or even $1 to
2477 have that unimpeachable excuse whenever I am late to anything:  "I came
2487 want to hang around with."  We got into his car and drove out to his
2496 loaned you.  We would just like to know what happened to the money?"
2497 	I said, "Mr. Jones, I'll give it to you straight.  I gave all
2498 of the money to my friend Slick, and with it he built a nuclear weapon...
2502 	"I have examined Bogota," he said, "and the case is clearer to me.
2510 things that are called the eyes, and which exist to make an agreeable soft
2512 as to affect his brain.  They are greatly distended, he has eyelashes, and
2517 to cure him completely, all that we need do is a simple and easy surgical
2518 operation - namely, to remove those irritant bodies."
2528 	I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments
2532 "I apprehend", or "I imagine" a thing to be so or so; or "so it appears to me
2538 but in the present case there appeared or seemed to me some difference, etc.
2542 I had less mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily
2543 prevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I
2544 happened to be in the right.
2547 	I managed to say, "Sorry," and no more.  I knew that he disliked
2548 me to cry.
2550 to weep."
2563 	I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and
2564 asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics.  He politely obliged.
2576 	[I plan] to see, hear, touch, and destroy everything in my path,
2585 pursuing me to the edge of the great plantation, where I escaped by diving
2587 explain my tendency to scream, "Here come the Martians!  Hide the eggs!" every
2592 that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put
2593 more simply -- `Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it
2594 might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not
2595 otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be
2600 	He said, "What you need is to grow up, son."
2601 	I said, "Growin' up leads to growin' old, And then to dying, and
2602 to me that don't sound like much fun.
2605 	"I suppose you expect me to talk."
2606 	"No, Mr. Bond.  I expect you to die."
2610 	"Nonsense, he was obviously referring to all manufacturers of
2614 	"I thought you were trying to get into shape."
2635 	The tao gave birth to machine language.  Machine language gave birth
2636 to the assembler.
2637 	The assembler gave birth to the compiler.  Now there are ten thousand
2645 everything. When we get to October 2, we'll add up the wins, and then
2647 	Both those things sound pretty good to me.
2654 	You will find yourself surprised how far off course you were to
2661 around your home are too difficult to tackle.  So, when your furnace
2662 explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it.  The
2667 you a bill for slightly more money than it would cost you to run a
2669 	And that's why you've decided to start doing things yourself.
2674 other people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up
2681 	"Somebody is about to fall in love," Oedipa said, "you go sit with
2683 	"Right.  The whole idea is to get where you don't need it.  I was
2694 young man to his father as he prepared to leave home.  "Don't try to stop me.
2696 	"Who's trying to stop you?" shouted the father.  "Take me along!"
2700 library and I'm half way through the second cabinet, (3 shelves to go), so I
2706 pages with an index number and the single line "This page intentionally left
2716 Junior, what are you up to?"
2732 next to some bloody and furry remnants of the wolf and the fox.
2737 	In "King Henry VI, Part II," Shakespeare has Dick Butcher suggest to
2741 Speaking to business executives in Chicago and quoted in Automotive News,
2742 Connellan attributed a measure of America's falling productivity to an excess
2746 to product."
2747 	According to Connellan, the highly productive Japanese society has
2764 	"Then I leave it to you to think of one for all of this," said God.
2778 the Great Mathematical Spirit form the Book: the Topologist.  And they grew to
2780 	One day they looked up in the heavens and desired to reach up as far
2782 was to reach up as far as "up" went.  Further and further up they went ...
2785 structure reaching to the heavens.  One by one, the Mathematicians climbed
2787 they began to speak to one another, SURPRISE of all surprises! they could not
2793 	In the beginning was the Tao.  The Tao gave birth to Space and Time.
2798 have enough time and space to accomplish their goals.
2802 	In the days when Sussman was a novice Minsky once came to him as he
2805 	"I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe."
2807 	"I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play".
2821 its message.  The master programmer continues to work at his terminal, for he
2830 	You can ask them anything you want to.
2833 	I took a fish head out to see a movie,
2834 	Didn't have to pay to get it in.
2847 to do and of course I'm doing it with all fjords again because I happen to
2848 like them, and I'm old-fashioned enough to think that they give a lovely
2849 baroque feel to a continent.  And they tell me it's not equatorial enough.
2857 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
2863 in time.  I'd like to get this country turned around; I mean REALLY turned
2867 citizenship and other qualifications for the Presidency.  God replied to
2871 	"Is there any point to which you would wish to draw my attention?"
2878 During the battle, User spies managed to steal secret source code to the
2880 enough power to destroy an entire file structure.  Pursued by the Empire's
2883 freedom and games to the network...
2895 	It is always preferable to visit home with a friend.  Your parents will
2896 not be pleased with this plan, because they want you all to themselves and
2897 because in the presence of your friend, they will have to act like mature
2899 	The worst kind of friend to take home is a girl, because in that case,
2901 duration of the visit but forever.  The worst kind of girl to take home is one
2902 of a different religion:  Not only will you be lost to your parents forever but
2903 you will be lost to a woman who is immune to their religious/moral arguments
2906 to take her home for the holidays.  You are aware of your parents' xenophobic
2907 response to anyone of a different religion.  How to prepare them for the shock?
2911 person to meet them.  Give the information a moment to sink in and then
2919 arise, which in their intensification lead the individual to forget himself
2920 completely. ... Not only does the bond between man and man come to be forged
2927 for a few years.  He doesn't have to change his routines much as the audiences
2939 to one end of a piece of driftwood and the parrot perched on the other end.
2940 As the sun rises on the morning of the fourth day, the parrot walks over to
2945 balloon to cross the United States.  After forty hours in the air, George
2946 turned to Harry, and said, "Harry, I think we've drifted off course!  We
2947 need to find out where we are."
2948 	Harry cools the air in the balloon, and they descend to below the
2954 	George turns to Harry and says, "Well, that man *must* be a lawyer".
2963 	It took 300 years to build and by the time it was 10% built,
2965 was so big they felt compelled to go on. Since its completion, it has
2966 cost a fortune to maintain and is still in danger of collapsing.
2967 	There are at present no plans to replace it, since it was never
2970 analogous to the above.
2977 for their fate to be quick, painless, and if possible, someone else's.
2992 been chosen to carry the Polish flag in the May Day parade.
3019 getting pinned under the tractor, and Lassie was always rushing back to
3020 the farmhouse to alert the other ones.  She'd whimper and tug at their
3022 you think something's wrong?  Do you think she wants us to follow her?
3025 the tractor, I don't see how they managed to grow any crops whatsoever.
3030 	Leslie West heads for the sticks, to Providence, Rhode Island and
3031 tries to hide behind a beard.  No good.  There are still too many people
3032 and too many stares, always taunting, always smirking.  He moves to the
3033 outskirts of town. He finds a place to live -- huge mansion, dirt cheap,
3035 day and night, and there's no one to laugh or boo or even look bored.
3036 	Nobody's cut the grass in months.  What's happened to that caretaker?
3037 What neighborhood people there are start to talk, and what kids there are
3038 start to get curious.  A 13 year-old blond with an angelic face misses supper.
3040 class president, Barnard-bound come autumn, tells Mom she's going out to a
3043 home for their stuff and tell the folks not to worry but they'll be going
3051 dream, huh?  M-maybe it exists.  Maybe there is a Machine to take us
3061 into the saloon.  As he made his way through the crowd to the bar, a man
3098 	"Yes, I'd like to see that, does it come out of your ears or what?"
3108 to help a poor unfortunate fellow who is hungry and can't find work?
3124 Esther and hustle them off to prison.
3127 and night to get them to name their contacts in the liberation
3129 charged with espionage, and sentenced to death.
3132 if they have any last requests.  Esther wants to know if she can call
3134 possible, and turns to Murray.
3138 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
3140 	My friends, I am here to tell you of the wondrous continent known as
3153 pajamas, I don't know.  Then we tried to remove the tusks.  That's a tough
3154 word to say, tusks.  As I said we tried to remove the tusks, but they were
3156 looser, but that is totally irrelephant to what I was saying.
3167 robots programmed to collect pure information.  I also present this view as
3175 earth, priests subordinate to the Pope and serfs to their lord.  But the
3189 	Never ask to see pictures of your lover's former lovers -- especially
3210 their major Middle East subsidiaries.  To a person, the board voted to
3211 reject the bid when they discovered that the tobacco giant intended to
3218 really.  Meet.  Love.  Part.  Life goes on.  There was never any reason to
3219 expect her to stay always the same -- I mean `in love,' you know."  There were
3225 	Now she speaks rapidly.  "Do you know *why* you want to program?"
3243 	Go to one of those really cheap discount stores where they sell
3255 if you accidentally hit yourself or anything else, or expose it to
3260 to be avoided than harped upon.
3262 reunited with his deceased relatives led on to the thought that they might
3263 just feel the same way about him and, what's more, be able to do something
3264 about helping to postpone this reunion.
3270 put you through to our central base in Atlanta.  Go ahead, call -- they'll
3279 no attention to the signal.
3293 business would never improve, so I drove over to Fourteenth Street and
3299 almost impossible to find.  Finally, after many hours of searching, Joe
3313 to find that the Praetorian Guard had prepared a treat for him in the arena.
3314 There stood 25 naked virgins, like candles on a cake, tied to poles, burning
3318 	The centurion saluted, and hurried out to the virgin, getting as near
3320 to the imperial box.  "She is not talking," he reported to Nero, "she is
3323 	"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you..."
3334 with their own political axes to grind, and four years later you get
3337 then write it down, whereas the OSI perspective is to agree on it, write
3340 committed to it.  One of those processes is backwards, and I don't think
3341 it takes a Lucasian professor of physics at Oxford to figure out which.
3350 "You're going to get it."  She bent over and kept on picking.
3357 to decide quickly.  I decided.
3360 faster than I knew she could run, and grabbed my shirt and was about to brain
3369 traditions such as trying to find a parking space at the mall.  We
3373 week, until it led them to a parking space.
3374 	We try to keep our bumper about 4 inches from the shopper's calves, to
3375 let the other circling cars know that she belongs to us.  Sometimes, two cars
3376 will get into a fight over whom the shopper belongs to, similar to the way
3377 great white sharks will fight over who gets to eat a snorkeler.  So, we follow
3379 to Look a Lot Like Christmas" through our teeth, until we arrive at her car,
3381 shopper tries to indicate she was merely planning to drop off some packages and
3382 go back to shopping.  But, when she hears our engine rev in a festive fashion
3388 crystal river.  Each creature in its own manner clung tightly to the twigs
3398 as the creature refused to cling again, the current lifted him free from the
3400 	And the creatures downstream, to whom he was a stranger, cried, "See
3402 to save us all!"  And the one carried in the current said, "I am no more
3403 Messiah than you.  The river delight to lift us free, if only we dare let go.
3405 	But they cried the more, "Saviour!" all the while clinging to the
3410 time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea.  One day,
3413 	Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realized that in order to mass
3416 away by his love for dolphins, he resolved that he would go to the zoo and
3418 	Unbeknownst to him, as he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was
3421 on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep.
3424 stepped absentmindedly stepped over the sleeping lion on his way back to his
3430 on a log and to her amazement the frog spoke to her.  "Maiden," croaked the
3431 frog, "would you do me a favor?  This will be hard for you to believe, but
3434 	"Oh, what a pity!", exclaimed the girl.  "I'll do anything I can to
3437 taken away is for some lovely young woman to take me home and let me spend
3442 royal blood.  And so they lived happily ever after, except that to this day
3446 One day, after a hard day's fishing, he hooked what seemed to him to be the
3448 until, finally, he managed to bring it to the surface.  Looking of the edge
3450 with pride, he reached over the edge to pull the fish up.  Unfortunately, he
3452 snap, and his watch tumbled into the water next to the fish with a loud
3454 simultaneously snapping the line, and swallowing the watch.  Sadly, the
3457 boring assembly-line job in a large city.  He worked in a fish-processing
3458 plant.  It was his job, as each fish passed under his hands, to chop off their
3462 was chopping fish, he happened to notice that the fish coming towards him on
3463 the line looked very familiar.  Yes, yes, it looked... could it be the fish
3468 to experience an elephant for the first time.  One approached the elephant,
3474 a wall."  The five then began to argue loudly about who had the more accurate
3477 attacked the men.  He continued to trample them until they were nothing but
3479 goes to show that you can't depend on first impressions.  When I first saw
3485 and their page, the three brothers set off to see if one of them could
3487 way, robbers to be overcome, hard terrain to cross.  As they coped with
3491 they found that they were expected to present the Princess with some
3498 complexities.  Years of study in musty classrooms were prerequisite to
3501 available to anyone.
3504 	One day a student came to Moon and said, "I understand how to make
3506 to each cons."
3508 student came to Moon and said, "I understand how to make a better garbage
3513 went to speak with him.
3520 	One evening he spoke.  Sitting at her feet, his face raised to her,
3521 he allowed his soul to be heard.  "My darling, anything you wish, anything
3522 I am, anything I can ever be...  That's what I want to offer you -- not the
3523 things I'll get for you, but the thing in me that will make me able to get
3524 them.  That thing -- a man can't renounce it -- but I want to renounce it --
3534 	One fine day, the bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus,
3538 wrestler, arms hanging down to the ground.  He glared at the driver and said,
3543 again, made a show of refusing to pay, and sat down.  And the next day, and the
3556 directed his signalman to flash a signal to the light which went...
3575 VAXs are going for UNIX use.  UNIX is a simple language, easy to understand,
3576 easy to get started with. It's great for students, great for somewhat casual
3582 up doing VMS when they get to be serious about programming.
3597 language, easy to understand, easy to get started with.  It's great for
3604 will end up doing VMS when they get to be serious about programming.
3616 to test the theory that ascorbic acid is a cold preventative.  "The group
3624 which are served by the same bloodstream.  Attempts to treat most mental
3626 to treat most bodily diseases as though the mind were in no way involved must
3634 	During the American Revolution, a Britisher tried to raid a farm.  He
3650 these days, in selecting the proper words to refer to those of the female
3653 misapplying them can earn one anything from the charge of vulgarity to a good
3656 enough to get straight who is really what.  Those who deliberately misuse
3661 able to handle it because she will be under three feet tall.  However, if you
3663 youthful body, you are also implying that she has a brain to match.
3667 	"Of course he isn't," Cobb answered. "What we have to look out for
3668 is him calling the cops anyway, or trying to blackmail us for more money."
3671 	"That's not the answer to *every* problem in interpersonal relations,"
3685 reason: it made it easier for them to pass themselves off as detectives.
3688 If they thought they were giving confidential information to an investigator,
3690 everyone had a right to talk to the _Star-Telegram_, even if they didn't
3691 know they were talking to the _Star-Telegram_.
3695 requiring only a few simple tools and a willingness to stick your arm
3713 follow is the Tao -- beyond all technique.  When I first began to program I
3717 free to work without a plan, follows its own instinct.  In short, my program
3719 coming, I slow down, I watch silently.  Then I change a single line of code
3735 know which part.  We seem to have changed our position in space."  A
3736 spherical display in the middle of the floor illuminated to show the
3742 and transferred to a place unknown by a form of intelligence unknown.
3747 Naughton of the New York Times, for instance, had to file long, detailed,
3750 getting their work done, and from time to time they would try to console
3751 me about the terrible pressure I always seemed to be laboring under.
3753 to me, in thirteen or fourteen sessions, but I don't have time for that.
3754 No doubt it has something to do with a deep-seated personality defect, or
3757 whatever instinct it is that causes a jackrabbit to wait until the last
3758 possible second to dart across the road in front of a speeding car.
3763 what you wanted to do, even though you thought it was going to hurt
3765 	"He was going to suck my blood!"
3766 	"Which is what we do to anyone when we tell them we'll be hurt
3770 happens to be impossible.  The phrase is hurt somebody else.  We choose,
3771 ourselves, to be hurt or not to be hurt, no matter what.  Us who decides.
3773 his decision to be hurt, that's his choice.  What you do about it is your
3775 through his heart.  If he doesn't want the holly stake, he's free to resist,
3784 rational functions needed to represent the integrand.  Although the
3789 largely, it is claimed, because few paid attention to his work.  Probably
3795 their intention was to present him to the television viewers as a sincere,
3796 generous person.  "You going to use a double?" asked Kennedy.
3801 	"There must be a better photo that this," said Kennedy to the
3813 	Sam went to his psychiatrist complaining of a hatred for elephants.
3816 	"Sam," said the psychiatrist, "there's only one thing for you to do.
3817 Go to Africa, organize a safari, find an elephant in the jungle and shoot it.
3820 inviting his best friend to join him.  They arrived in Nairobi and lost no
3830 prison and his psychiatrist flew to Africa to visit him.  "I sent you over
3831 here to kill an elephant and instead you shoot your best friend," the
3838 the edge of the fairway.  Just as he was about to chip out, he noticed a
3845 	"Well, it was nice of you to take off your cap and stand
3863 	Several students were asked to prove that all odd integers are prime.
3864 	The first student to try to do this was a math student.  "Hmmm...
3867 	The second student to try was a man of physics who commented, "I'm not
3868 sure of the validity of your proof, but I think I'll try to prove it by
3872 	The third student to try it was the engineering student, who responded,
3873 "Well, to be honest, actually, I'm not sure of your answer either.  Let's
3877 	Not to be outdone, the computer science student comes along and says
3879 I've just whipped up a program to REALLY go and prove it."  He goes over to
3894 	Sixtus V, Pope from 1585 to 1590 authorized a printing of the
3900 had to be printed and pasted over them in every copy.  The result
3902 Pope Sixtus had no recourse but to order the return and destruction of
3905 	So Richard and I decided to try to catch [the small shark].
3906 With a great deal of strategy and effort and shouting, we managed to
3907 maneuver the shark, over the course of about a half-hour, to a sort of
3908 corner of the lagoon, so that it had no way to escape other than to
3917 up to your lower calves: We sprinted I would say 600 yards in the
3920 the way to the far shore, and if we had been in a Warner Brothers
3926 	"So you don't have to, Cindy, but I was wondering if you might
3927 want to go to someplace, you know, with me, sometime."
3935 A town where they still know how to get your shirts back by Thursday.  Let
3937 stolid but steady Killebrew.  Listening to Cole Porter over a dry martini
3938 may well suit those unlucky enough never to have heard the Whoopee John Polka
3939 Band and never to have shared a pitcher of 3.2 Grain Belt Beer.  The loss is
3940 theirs.  And the Big Apple has yet to bake the bagel that can match peanut
3943 per capita than the Big Apple.  We go to see, not to be seen.  We go even
3944 when we must shovel ten inches of snow from the driveway to get there.  Indeed
3946 People flock to the city's lakes to frolic and rejoice at the sight of so
3948 Here's to the Minneapple.  And to its people.  Our flair for style is balanced
3967 Griffin proposed an amendment to the farm bill so that "the total number of
3995 to produce and they only made 8 of them.
4006 to the Berkeley UNIX version of `ls'?"
4012 and place to be a part of.  Maybe it meant something.  Maybe not, in the long
4014 Bay, then up the Golden Gate or down 101 to Los Altos or La Honda...  You could
4031 to sit back and make the same old carbonated beverage.  It was a good
4035 and the teacher says: "Imagine what it does to your TEETH!"  So Coca-Cola
4036 was solidly entrenched in the market, and the management saw no need to
4040 	"That wife of mine is a liar," said the angry husband to a
4041 sympathetic pal seated next to him in a bar.
4052 	"The best thing for being sad," replied Merlin, beginning to puff
4053 and blow, "is to learn something.  That's the only thing that never fails.
4055 night listening to the disorder of your veins, you may miss your only love,
4058 it then -- to learn.  Learn why the world wags and what wags it.  That is
4061 is the only thing for you.  Look what a lot of things there are to learn."
4065 for Miss Manners to tell young lovers to stop necking in public.
4066 	It's not that Miss Manners is immune to romance.  Miss Manners
4067 has been known to squeeze a gentleman's arm while being helped over a
4068 curb, and, in her wild youth, even to press a dainty slipper against a
4072 people shaking umbrellas at one another.  What Miss Manners objects to
4076 in to listen to a couple of jokes he had picked up.  Everybody but one girl
4079 	"I don't have to laugh," she said.  "I'm leaving Friday anyway.
4088 a shiksa, so he went to visit his rabbi.  The rabbi listened solemnly to
4089 his problem, took his hand, and said, "Pray to God."
4090 	So the Jew went to the synagogue, bowed his head, and prayed, "God,
4091 please help me.  My son, my favorite son, he's going to marry a shiksa, he
4097 physical examination.  "The best thing for you to do," the M.D. said,
4098 "is give up drinking, give up smoking, get to bed early and stay away
4103 	The FIELD GUIDE to NORTH AMERICAN MALES
4108 	Due to extreme deprivation, HOMO COMPUTATIS maintains a near perpetual
4119 	The FIELD GUIDE to NORTH AMERICAN MALES
4127 	and a look of intense concentration, which may be due to a software
4128 	problem or to a pork-and-bean breakfast.
4135 	The FIELD GUIDE to NORTH AMERICAN MALES
4145 	Both managers and staff wear running shoes to work, and a black
4154 	The General disliked trying to explain the highly technical
4172 the center we find the South End.  This is not to be confused with South
4176 	"The Good Ship Enterprise" (to the tune of "The Good Ship Lollipop")
4199 	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
4205 of Santraginus V ... use it to sail a miniraft down the slow heavy River
4207 with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
4208 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
4210 	The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on
4219 win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be
4221 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
4229 Again, her man leapt from his saddle and strode over to the nervous animal.
4237 	The groom turned to her coolly.  "That's one," he said.
4247 Technological Misfits, was designed to make it impossible to write code
4248 with errors in it.  The statements are, therefore, confined to BEGIN,
4258 to be useful in protheththing lithtth.
4263 Although many compilers allow you to take a coffee break while they
4264 compile, SLOBOL compilers allow you to travel to Bolivia to pick the
4265 coffee.  Forty-three programmers are known to have died of boredom
4266 sitting at their terminals while waiting for a SLOBOL program to
4267 compile.  Weary SLOBOL programmers often turn to a related (but
4274 are.  Thus SARTRE programs are left to define their own functions.
4275 SARTRE programmers tend to be boring and depressed, and are no fun at
4284 statements to execute a given task.  In this respect, it is very
4285 similar to COBOL.
4290 refer to quantity.  The data types range from CC, OUNCE, SHOT, and
4291 JIGGER to FIFTH (hence the name of the language), LITER, MAGNUM and
4292 BLOTTO.  Commands refer to ingredients such as CHABLIS, CHARDONNAY,
4318 The center is very pleased with progress to date.  They say they have
4319 almost succeeded in getting a VAX to think. However, sources inside the
4320 organization say that each time the machine fails to think it ceases to
4348 Mellowness and Computer Programming (now defunct), as an alternative to
4351 The center was ideal for programmers who liked to soak in hot tubs
4358 case.  For example, LAIDBACK responded to syntax errors with the
4360 	"i hate to bother you, but i just can't relate to that.  can
4361 	you find the time to try it again?"
4366 	He conducts me directionally parallel to non-torrential aqueous
4368 	He returns to original satisfaction levels my psychological makeup.
4369 	He switches me on to a positive behavioral format for maximal
4373 sensations will no be initiated in me, due to para-etical phenomena.
4387 master programmer to examine.  The magician wheeled a large black box into the
4392 interfaces.  It took my assistants several hundred man years to construct.
4398 to this?"
4399 	"Certainly," replied the master, "I will have it transported to the
4400 data center immediately!"  And the magician returned to his tower, well
4416 	The master programmer moves from program to program without fear.  No
4421 	The Minnesota Board of Education voted to consider requiring all
4422 students to do some "volunteer work" as a prerequisite to high school gradu-
4427 	According to the tax bill signed by President Reagan on December 22,
4439 	According to the FAA, the propeller blade didn't break off, it was
4444 	"Oh, that's the name of the song, is it?" Alice said, trying to
4449 	"Then I ought to have said "That's what the song is called'?"
4455 	"I was coming to that," the Knight said.  "The song really is
4462 You've got to start way down, at the bottom, when you're six or seven years
4463 old. You can't wait until you're fifteen or sixteen.  You've got to let it
4465 bound to come out on top, just like these boys have come to the top now.
4470 large wooden frame and jumped up and down on it to `tender and dress'
4480 	A voice, sweetened and sustained, called to him from the sea.
4485 	The problem with engineers is that they tend to cheat in order to
4487 	The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy
4488 problems in order to get results.
4489 	The problem with program verifiers is that they tend to cheat at
4490 toy problems in order to get results.
4508 	The salesman and the system analyst took off to spend a weekend in the
4511 to his friend, and said, "You unpack while I go and find us a bear."
4518 	The analyst whipped open the door, and the salesman ran to the door,
4519 suddenly stopped, and stepped aside.  The bear, unable to stop, continued
4524 	The Tao gave birth to machine language.  Machine language gave birth
4525 to the assembler.
4526 	The assembler gave birth to the compiler.  Now there are ten thousand
4535 	Six months' pay isn't much to keep my wife from sleeping around.
4538 should be but never quite is.  People grow and change and sometimes want to
4556 	The highest sounds are the hardest to hear.  Going forward is a way to
4573 stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left
4574 his ticket at home.  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went
4575 to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat.  After an hour's
4577 Dave!"  The Aggie looked up, stepped out of line and tried to find the owner
4579 line and had to wait all over again.  When the fan finally bought his ticket,
4580 he was thirsty, so he went to buy a drink.  The line at the concession stand
4581 was long, too, but since the game hadn't started he decided to wait.  Just as
4582 he got to the window, a voice called out, "Hey, Dave!"  Again the Aggie tried
4583 to find the voice -- but no luck.  He was very upset as he got back in line
4584 for his drink.  Finally the fan went to his seat, eager for the game to begin.
4592 With a lot of these folks you'd have to check their green cards just to
4600 Before they go to bust a bookie joint they mortar it first.
4611 	The moral to this story is that there ain't no justice that we can
4612 stand to live with.
4617 hard, to keep from falling.
4623 heroes are meant to die for unicorns."
4649 centuries and have failed to come up with an answer, and you think _y_o_u
4651 forbidden to eat crab -- fresh cold crab with mayonnaise -- or lobster
4653 even understand a simple thing like that, and yet you hope to discover
4655 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
4662 	There once was a man who went to a computer trade show.  Each day as
4668 But the man merely wandered from booth to booth, humming quietly to himself.
4670 but nothing was to be found.
4673 better."  So the guard watched him ever more closely, but to no avail.
4681 A novice programmer, seeking to imitate him, also began to write unstructured
4682 programs.  When the novice asked the master to evaluate his progress, the
4689 day he decided to stop in downstairs for some fresh liver.  Well, the owner
4690 of the deli was a bit of a cheap-skate, and decided to pick up a little extra
4691 change at his customer's expense.  Turning quietly to the counterman, he
4694 	There was a college student trying to earn some pocket money by
4695 going from house to house offering to do odd jobs.  He explained this to
4697 	"How much will you charge to paint my porch?" asked the man.
4714 	A month later, returning, the mad scientist went to the engineer's
4716 pocket trash, used aluminum shavings and dried sugar to make an explosive,
4718 	The physicist had worked out the angle necessary to knock the lids
4722 solution to the kissing problem; his desiccated corpse was propped calmly
4727 	There was once a programmer who was attached to the court of the
4728 warlord of Wu.  The warlord asked the programmer: "Which is easier to design:
4732 accounting package is trivial next to the complexity of an operating
4736 how it must operate, how its reports must appear, and how it must conform to
4740 is easier to design."
4742 he said, "but which is easier to debug?"
4747 how well off I am here," he said to a mainframe programmer who came to visit,
4748 "I have my own operating system and file storage device.  I do not have to
4750 easy-to-use.  Why do you not quit your present job and join me here?"
4751 	The mainframe programmer then began to describe his system to his
4753 midst of the data center.  Its disk drives lie end-to-end like a great ocean
4763 pale pleasures compared to that which is greatest of them all, that task which
4772 	To wield oneself -- to use oneself as a tool in one's own hand -- and
4773 so to make or break that which no one else can build or ruin -- THAT is the
4774 greatest pleasure known to man!  To one who has felt the chisel in his hand
4775 and set free the angel prisoned in the marble block, or to one who has felt
4777 of his mortal enemy -- to those both come alike the taste of that rare food
4782 parents will be happy to see them.  I mean, really, can you imagine someone
4783 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
4785 Orphan-Off, an organization dedicated to keeping orphans confused about the
4787 	"Basically, what we do is band together to exchange information
4790 	"The idea is to throw the orphans as many red herrings and false
4795 yeah, they used to live here... I think they moved out about five years ago.
4796 I think they went to Iowa, or maybe Idaho.'
4797 	"Bam, the door shuts in the kid's face and he's back to zero again.
4798 He's got nothing to go on but the orphan's pathetic determination to continue.
4800 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if
4801 your natural parents were Australian, would you want to meet them?"
4804 	This is where the bloodthirsty license agreement is supposed to go,
4806 use by a single person, and sternly warning you not to pirate copies of it
4808 	We know that you are an honest person, and are not going to go around
4810 we worked hard to perfect it and selling copies of it is our only method of
4813 around pirating copies of software you probably aren't going to pay much
4814 attention to a license agreement, bloodthirsty or not.  Just keep your doors
4818 	Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire
4819 rainbow of legal and illegal drugs in heroic efforts to feel better
4822 it.  I am told that he appears to be strong and rosy, and steadily
4823 sane.  But we will be doing what he wants us to do, I think, if we
4827 do for the poor devil, it seems to me, is to name his disease in his
4829 be as easily led to beauty as to ugliness, to truth as to public
4830 relations, to joy as to bitterness, be said to be suffering from Hunter
4844 	To lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more; if you merely
4845 wish to maintain, do whatever you were doing.
4862 	Two parent drops spent months teaching their son how to be part of the
4863 ocean.  After months of training, the father drop commented to the mother drop,
4864 "We've taught our boy everything we know, he's fit to be tide."
4866 seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed.  Later she was heard to
4880 	"It's simple, Skyler ... you've seen what food processors do to
4899 up to 340."
4902 stated, "The immediate task before us is to cut the Federal Government down
4903 to size... we must take Lyndon's credit card away from him."
4905 	A favorite 1964 campaign stunt of Barry Goldwater's was to poke a
4916 think it is, great, but it's up to you to decide.  If Interactive EasyFlow
4919 disclaimer: tough.  We reserve the right to do the absolute minimum provided
4920 by law, up to and including nothing.
4923 	We didn't really want to include any disclaimer at all, but our
4924 lawyers insisted.  We tried to ignore them but they threatened us with the
4938 	We have some absolutely irrefutable statistics to show exactly why
4942 60 years of age, which leaves 116 million to do the work.  People under 20
4943 years of age total 75 million, which leaves 41 million to do the work.
4945 19 million to do the work.  Four million are in the Armed Services, which
4946 leaves 15 million to do the work.  Deduct 14,800,000, the number in the state
4947 and city offices, leaving 200,000 to do the work.  There are 188,000 in
4948 hospitals, insane asylums, etc., so that leaves 12,000 to do the work.
4949 	Now it may interest you to know that there are 11,998 people in jail,
4950 so that leaves just 2 people to carry the load. That is you and me, and
4957 	"Now, Evelyn, last week you went up to $40,000 by properly citing
4966 projections will put you out of the game.  Are you willing to go ahead?"
4972 	"We'll get back to Evelyn in one minute.  First a word about our
4977 of Science seemed to offer much hope, it's time to go beyond them...
4980 able to rummage at will among the bits and pieces of data he had absorbed,
4985 not evident to ordinary vision.  Like beads strung on a string of their own
4986 meaning, each thing pointed to its own common ground of existence, shared by
4987 all.  Finally, each began to melt into each, staying itself while becoming
4995 	"Well, it's a little rough... it might not be necessary to drag him 40
5007 and stopped at a phone box to ring the hospital and say, 'Would you mind going
5008 around to the front of the White House?  There's a naked man lying outside
5009 in the street, bleeding to death...'"
5012 	"Yeah, I think it's safe to say we'd see some headlines on that one."
5013 		-- Hunter S. Thompson, talking to R. Steadman on C. Colson,
5017 The rides are dilapidated to the point of being lethal, and could easily
5027 	"It means the Thing to Do."
5032 coefficient of relevance to Key of Time: zero."
5043 	The deer is shaking so hard it can barely speak, but manages to
5045 	The tiger, being on a roll, swaggered, up to an elephant that was
5051 	The tiger staggers to his feet and looks at the elephant and whispers:
5052 	"Man, you don't have to get so pissed, just 'cause you don't know the
5055 	"We're running out of adjectives to describe our situation.  We
5063 	"We've decided to have the budgie put down."
5068 great big book called `How to put your budgie down'.  And as I understand it,
5072 	"Oh, you don't want to do that, because they breed in the sewers and
5088 	"The letters H, A, and L are alphabetically adjacent to the letters
5092 	"I'm going to disconnect your brain."
5095 	"What are we going to do?"
5107 	"You're so analytical.  Sometimes you just have to let art
5113 	"You keep it to yourself."
5131 men with whom I felt an immediate sympat - to use a coining of Max Beerbohm's
5132 more satisfactory to me than the opaque vogue word "empathy".
5139 not the mean and stupid God you make Him out to be".
5144 ever happened to me... the most dreadful thing."
5153 	"When I drink, *everybody* drinks!" a man shouted to the
5164 questioned as to whether this indicated a change of his hitherto "liberal"
5171 moved farther to the left."
5176 to be cut.  When senior scientists talk blue sky, the clouds are about to
5180 accountants make long-range plans, harmony and order are about to be restored.
5186 	When the lodge meeting broke up, Meyer confided to a friend.
5188 the slightest idea where I'm going to get it from!"
5189 	"I'm glad to hear that," answered Abe.  "I was afraid you
5195 to you, and the swell of his bicep causes inner turmoil.  This is a happy
5197 seconds after you get up the courage to ask him for the time, since almost
5201 It may, but then you may also wake up one morning to find you're the Queen of
5206 "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
5208 	"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said
5218 then.  We're trying to catch her."
5228 	While the engineer developed his thesis, the director leaned over to
5238 had salt to last them for centuries and still the machine kept on grinding
5239 more salt.  The miller had to move out of his house, he had to move off his
5247 	Why are you doing this to me?
5255 	"But, Mom," answered her daughter, "if a fellow takes you to the
5256 movies you ought to at least kiss him good night."
5257 	"I thought you went to the Stork Club?" countered the mother.
5261 vain to claim a rebate.  His numerous letters and queries remained
5268 buddy?", he asked, sliding onto the stool next to his friend.
5272 and resolution both seemed to weaken and, turning to his buddy, he said,
5288 	Wouldn't the sentence "I want to put a hyphen between the words Fish
5298 	"Why, it's to measure with!" cried Bruno.  "How ever would you
5301 	I stopped him as he was dragging it off by the tail to show me
5313 There, that ought to patch it.  Dist it out, wouldja?"
5327 was about to say 'as he is unknown to the public.'"
5331 airlock with a man from Betelgeuse and about to die of asphyxiation in
5332 deep space that I really wish I'd listened to what my mother told me
5336 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
5338 	"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you
5339 any old way he likes, and to insult your dignity, then he may deem you
5340 fit to hear his view of things?"
5342 you have integrity to defend.  But you must defend it nobly, not by
5346 and you may feel free to kick his ass."
5368 Mr. TAA of Muddle, Mass. says:  "Before I took this course I used to be
5372 Mr. MARC had this to say:  "Ten short days ago all I could look forward
5373 to was a dead-end job as an engineer.  Now I have a promising future and
5376 MIT Tech can't promise these fantastic results to everyone, but when
5385 to both sexes.  Health and vigor will vanish like the dew before the sun.
5398 chance to kill you.  This is called a "circuit".  The most common home
5400 breaker"; this causes the electricity to back up in one of the wires
5402 damage your carpet.  The best way to avoid broken circuits is to change
5407 you'll need to get a caulking gun and some caulking.  If you're not
5410 electrician, who is trained to spot the signs of demonic possession,
5429 	Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles
5431 long, long years that bow the head and turn the growing spirit back to
5481  / / \/ / //\	SUN of them wants to use you,
5482  \//\   \// /	SUN of them wants to be used by you,
5483   / /  /\  /	SUN of them wants to abuse you,
5484    /  \\ \	SUN of them wants to be abused ...
5554 Set the variable $LOSERS to all the people that you think are losers.  This
5555 will cause all said losers to have the variable $PEOPLE-WHO-THINK-I-AM-A-LOSER
5556 updated in their .login file.  Should you attempt to execute a job on a
5565 The long-experimental CIRCULATORY system has been released to users.  The
5567 switch to Common Lisp occurs both machines will, of course, be Type O.
5574 Bug reports now amount to an average of 12,853 per day.  Unfortunately,
5581 	Non-network sites:  Federal Express to:
5595 The function CAR now returns two values.  Since it has to go to the trouble
5596 to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as
5597 well get both halves at once.  For example, the following code shows how to
5610 Compiler optimizations have been made to macro expand LET into a WITHOUT-
5621 This is believed to speed up execution by as much as a factor of 1.01 or
5624 Itty Bitti Machines where we was writing COUGHBOL code) so to give him
5629 JCL support as alternative to system menu.
5631 In our continuing effort to support languages other than LISP on the CADDR,
5633 alternative to the standard system menu.  Type System J to get to a JCL
5635 compatibility, all input lines are truncated to 80 characters.]  This
5640 messages (such as IEC703, "disk error") and allows you to dequeue your job.
5645 collection algorithm has been installed.  With SI:%DSK-GC-QLX-BITS set to 17,
5648 QLX-BITS set to 23, the new garbage collector is enabled.  Unlike most garbage
5681 carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button
5687 Tired of being genuine all the time?  Would you like to learn how
5688 to be a little phony again?  Have you disclosed so much that you're
5689 beginning to avoid people?  Have you touched so many people that
5690 they're all beginning to feel the same?  Like to be a little dependent?
5691 Are perfect orgasms beginning to bore you?  Would you like, for once,
5692 not to express a feeling?  Or better yet, not be in touch with it at
5693 all?  Come to us.  We promise to relieve you of the burden of your
5699 	loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to
5702  II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter
5710      conforming to its perimeter.
5713 	cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through
5740 a fly-by-night.  These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle
5741 Bigger Propositions.  But they didn't imply that you were to be impractical
5742 and refuse to take twice the value for a house if a buyer was such an idiot
5755 	advised to refrain from catapulting projectiles.
5761 offered at all times on that day, the second class will be arranged as to
5762 afford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen
5763 to work on campus, you will have 1-2 hours between classes.  If you commute,
5773 down, but he couldn't log in to the system when he was standing up.  That
5779 know that there has to be a reason.  Electrical theories are the easiest to
5797 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
5800 inveterate skeptic I have closed my mind to the truth.  Most notably I have
5808 may make mistakes also.  But it is permissible to make a judgment after you
5815 question of the existence of views in the absence of anyone to hold them
5823 and were a scourge to mankind.  The evidence (including confession)
5835 that now seem foolish to us, then the failure lies in our understanding
5849 public parts are visible to all clients; members declared in the private
5851 are visible only to the class itself and its subclasses.  C++ also supports
5852 the notion of *friends*: cooperative classes that are permitted to see each
5879 Their names come to his lips and he smiles as he tastes them, thinking he
5888 supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which
5893 ... If forced to travel on an airplane, try and get in the cabin with
5907 Due to a recent systems overload error your recent disk files have been
5911 valid for three months from this date, subject to the restrictions set forth
5918 extended for a period of up to three months.  A score in the fifth percentile
5921 ... in three to eight years we will have a machine with the general
5923 to educate itself with fantastic speed.  In a few months it will be
5939 ... it is easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the
5940 sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.  In other
5943 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
5965 	to refrain from catapulting projectiles.
5967 -- Exclusive dedication to necessitous chores without interludes of hedonistic
5988 ... Now you're ready for the actual shopping.  Your goal should be to
5990 the mall, the longer your children will have to listen to holiday songs
5994 to love him, then melts.  And "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" is about
5999 Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as if Rudolph were nothing more than some
6001 children exposed to this kind of insensitivity, you should shop
6005 ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you
6006 with ropes so the other shoppers won't try to buy them.  Holiday
6008 advertisements, and they will buy anything small enough to stuff into a
6009 shopping bag.  If your children object to being tied, threaten to take
6010 them to see Santa Claus; that ought to shut them up.
6014 lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of
6018 ... Our second completely true news item was sent to me by Mr. H. Boyce
6021 somebody gets handed a name like "H. Boyce," he hangs on to it, puts it
6022 on his legal stationery, even passes it to his son, rather than do what
6026 ... proper attention to Earthly needs of the poor, the depressed and the
6028 awareness of the great goals for Man and the society he conspired to erect.
6036 -- It is fruitless to become lachrymose over precipitately departed
6038 -- Freedom from incrustations of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
6039 -- It is fruitless to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated
6045 ... so long as the people do not care to exercise their freedom, those
6046 who wish to tyrannize will do so; for tyrants are active and ardent,
6048 and otherwise, to put shackles upon sleeping men.
6052 procedure is to scatter bleeding fish pieces around their boat, so as
6053 to infest the waters.  I would estimate that the primary food source of
6056 listless.  The general shark attitude seems to be: "Oh God, another
6057 documentary."  So the divers have to somehow goad them into attacking,
6060 scientific voice.  "That is why Todd is going to jab this Great White
6070 in order to perform well in complex domains.  But knowledge alone is not
6072 we have developed a new approach to artificial intelligence which we call
6077 forth.  IMMANUEL was then allowed to run freely, guided by the heuristic
6084 discuss our recent efforts to apply wisdom engineering to oil exploration.
6118 have a hard time sorting out what day to meet, and whether to eat croissants
6119 or doughnuts for breakfast -- let alone how to define how all these complex
6120 layers that are going to be agreed upon.
6135 from beginning to end.
6143  VII. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel
6146 	it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to
6147 	trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical
6148 	space.  The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to
6158 	This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to
6160 	watching it happen to a duck instead.
6162 	Examples too numerous to mention from the Roadrunner cartoons.
6175 to understand how evolution happens (the "theory of evolution") does not
6182 has been known to abandon the desktop for the more spacious floor.
6186 Carrot.  One fine spring day they decided to go out for a picnic.  They all
6187 piled into their carrot-mobile and drive out to the country.  But Pa Carrot
6190 poor Baby Carrot got broken in two.  They frantically rushed him to the
6192 to save Baby Carrot's life.  Ma and Pa Carrot were beside themselves with
6195 barely able to walk.
6221 (4)	Make your pens carefully.  You may whittle nibs to your
6225 	employee is expected to spend the Sabbath by attending
6226 	church and contributing liberally to the cause of the Lord.
6234 3.  Cabs driving on the sidewalk are not permitted to pick up passengers.
6235 4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.
6248 (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
6256 (5) Four is certainly an odd number of arms for a man to have.
6270 6.023 x 10 to the 23rd power alligator pears	= Avocado's number
6273 Shortest distance between two jokes		= A straight line
6282 10 to the minus 6th power mouthwashes		= 1 Microscope
6287 Force needed to accelerate 2.2lbs of cookies	= 1 Fig-newton
6288 	to 1 meter per second
6290 10 to the minus 6th power Movie			= 1 Microfilm
6295 10 to the 12th power microphones		= 1 Megaphone
6296 10 to the 6th power Bicycles			= 2 megacycles
6310 you have to (always catch the buyer hungry and always make him wait).
6329  6. If you've got 72 hours to kill, you can probably find room for Sha Na Na.
6330  5. Never attend an event with a 50,000 to 1 person to Port-A-San ratio.
6334  1. We are stardust.  We are golden.  We are going to look really stupid to
6340  1. A beer won't make you go to church.
6341  2. A beer is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than a woman.
6358 Take one down, short it to ground
6363 Take one down, short it to ground
6373 increase to more than $100,000,000 -- by which time it will be worth nothing.
6409 ------- (7)	This hexagram refers to a situation of extreme
6412 ---O--- (6)	on an accounting system, when you want to develop
6414 --- --- (8)	to nurse sick computers.  What you need now is sex.
6420 	In former times men built altars to honor the Internal
6442 1907 Good to the last drop
6446 1917 There's a delicious freshness to the taste of Coca-Cola
6449 1922 Every glass holds the answer to thirst
6454 1925 With a drink so good, 'tis folly to be thirsty
6457 1930 It had to be good to get where it is
6481 process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
6493 that to obtain the best results, one should make the bond "while the
6518 	purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church.
6527 	shaved in a barber's shop, will give me good reason to suspect
6587 ask for it back the when it begins to rain.
6591 and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
6606 A billion here, a billion there -- pretty soon it adds up to real money.
6633 A bird in the hand makes it awfully hard to blow your nose.
6644 best.  That's dangerous.  Is the work of some mere individual mind likely to
6646 schools as 'standards'?  Any mind that would audaciously put itself forth to
6649 elitist.  ... It's just good pedagogy, therefore, to stay away from such
6674 A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
6684 A bunch of Polish scientists decided to flee their repressive government by
6685 hijacking an airliner and forcing the pilot to fly them to the West.  They
6686 drove to the airport, forced their way on board a large passenger jet, and
6689 experimentalist, he would try to fly the aircraft.
6690 	He sat down at the controls and tried to figure them out.  The sirens
6703 is to make a copy of everything before he destroys it.
6709 and votes from the poor to protect them from each other.
6712 to his Village Witch Doctor with his complaint.  The VWD examines him
6713 and, concluding that something he ate disagreed with him, began to cross
6729 and exhausted, to a thick stake.  They then proceeded to cut his arms
6732 and declared, "You can kill me if you want to, but this torture with the
6733 spears has got to stop.  Dammit, I'm tired of getting stuck for the drinks."
6748 and a moonlit night.  One day he brought to Tortue a piece of string, and
6751 string which he proffered wordlessly to the monk.  At that moment, the monk
6754 From then on, the monk did not bother Tortue.  Instead, he made string after
6755 string by Tortue's method; and he passed the method on to his own disciples,
6756 who passed it on to theirs.
6760 evening, emboldened by hunger, the feline attempted to follow Gabe through
6764 	Gabe put the carcass back out in the alley and went back to business.
6767 to see an apparition of the old cat mournfully holding its severed tail out,
6768 silently pleading for Gabe to put the tail back on its corpse so that it could
6769 go on to the kitty afterworld complete.
6770 	Gabe shook his head sadly and said to the ghost, "I can't.  You know
6773 A Chicago salesman was about to check into a St. Louis hotel when he noticed
6775 with her for a few minutes, then returned to the front desk, where they checked
6789 trained, not to mention nearly half of the nation's state legislators.
6794 A chronic disposition to inquiry
6800 A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but
6801 won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
6809 A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody
6810 wants to read.
6819 a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the
6821 know, too, when you lift yourself high enough to see beyond horizons.
6827 	Involvement with the patient's suffering might cause him to lose
6835 	Remember that your doctor has a professional reputation to uphold.
6845 	It is presumptuous to assume that such profound matters could be
6855 	You should consider it a privilege to contribute, however modestly,
6856 	to the well-being of physicians and other humanitarians.
6859 	It is sheer arrogance to contract illnesses that are beyond your means.
6864 	sacred duty to protect him from exposure.
6870 as your goal.  There are too many women in the world to justify that sort of
6884 A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
6890 found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
6919 the computer science student has run in to.
6922 		to make it O(1) to go backwards an item, instead of O(n)...
6923 		What's the best way to go about that?  Should I just use a
6926 		queue entry and then go to its place in the hash table and
6928 Hacker:		No, you should add an item to the structure named 'prev' and
6929 		make it point to the previous item.
6939 	According to Shannon, information has entropy.  Entropy is just
6940 	a mathematical trick to introduce temperature.  Consequently,
6946 A computer, to print out a fact,
6965 A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
6973 with two perfectly good legs who has never learned to walk.
6979 A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
6996 his hands on his thighs, whooping and heaving to catch his breath as the
6997 Game Warden finally caught up to him.
7002 as a box of rocks!  You didn't have to run if you have a license!"
7009 and that is all there is to say about money.
7023 ventilating system.  The waste disposal apparatus is located to the rear of
7026 colors.  Production output ranges from 2 to 20 tons of milk per year.  In
7034 qualified to judge the work of creative men.  There is logic
7041 She just wanted to make a comparison.
7065 their training or their equipment.  It has to do with the quality of the
7066 society we are asking them to risk death defending.  The metaphor of the
7068 is high.  San Salvador is closer to Saigon than to Munich.
7077 A diplomat is a man who can tell you to
7078 go to hell and make the trip sound pleasurable.
7081 A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell
7082 in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
7088 A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that
7089 you will look forward to the trip.
7091 A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember
7106 A doctor calls his patient to give him the results of his tests.  "I have
7108 that you only have six weeks to live."
7111 	"Well," the doctor replies, "I've been trying to reach you since
7115 waters. The doctor tried to swim ashore but was eaten by the sharks. The
7135 A Dublin lawyer died in poverty and many barristers of the city subscribed to
7136 a fund for his funeral.  The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate
7137 a shilling.  "Only a shilling?" exclaimed the man. "Only a shilling to bury
7154 Xerox 1108, trying to edit a complex Klone network via a browser.
7155 Wanting to help, the Hacker clicked one of the nodes in the network
7167 A feed salesman is on his way to a farm.  As he's driving along at forty
7170 running at forty m.p.h.  So he speeds up to forty-five, fifty, then sixty
7173 	The man pulls into the farmyard and says to the farmer, "You know,
7174 the strangest thing just happened to me; I was driving along at at least
7178 dinner, we would all want a drumstick, so we'd have to kill two chickens.
7179 So we decided to try and breed a three-legged chicken so each of us could
7182 	"Don't know," replied the farmer.  "We haven't been able to catch
7187 to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
7194 	He finally broached the question to a lady he knew who held a black
7202 it to.  And, if Nissan's are female, it's like they say...  `Each Nissan, she
7212 A fisherman from Maine went to Alabama on his vacation.  He rented a boat,
7213 rowed out to the middle of the lake, and cast his line, but when he looked
7214 down into the water he was horrified to see a man wrapped in chains lying
7215 on the bottom of the lake.  He quickly rowed to shore and ran to the police
7218 	"Now ain't that jest like a Yankee," drawled the sheriff, "to steal
7236 A flashy Mercedes-Benz roared up to the curb where a cute young miss stood
7274 A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular.
7285 A friend of mine is into Voodoo Acupuncture.  You don't have to go.
7314 They were to reconvene the day before the race to tell the gangster how they
7315 each propose to ensure a win.  When they reconvened the gangster started with
7319 Engineer: Well, I've invented a way to weave metallic threads into the saddle
7321 	  electrical shock to the horse.
7326 G:	  Excellent, excellent!  But I want to hear from the physicist before
7327 	  I decide what to do.  Physicist?
7342 A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
7361 A [golf] ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree.
7369 placed in the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or
7395 A good question is never answered.  It is not a bolt to be tightened
7396 into place but a seed to be planted and to bear more seed toward the
7403 A good scapegoat is hard to find.
7412 A GOOD WAY TO THREATEN somebody is to light a stick of dynamite.  Then you
7413 call the guy and hold the burning fuse to the phone.  "Hear that?" you say.
7417 A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to
7418 you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to
7428 A government that is big enough to give you all you want is big enough
7429 to take it all away.
7453 of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be
7459 A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals
7460 are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for
7461 not going to church on Sunday.
7467 A guy has to get fresh once in a while
7517 series coming on next week, and everyone says it's going to be a big hit!
7550 M is for Maud who was swept out to sea, N is for Neville who died of ennui.
7580 S is for spell, which attempts to belittle, while
7583 V is for vi, which is hard to abort.
7605 A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.
7608 A key to the understanding of all religions is that a God's idea of a
7644 actually easier to program in than some that do.
7648 the Union, so he made up his mind to move to Alaska.  He drove for three days
7649 and three nights to get there and finally he came to what looked like the state
7650 line.  He halted his car and walked up to the border guard.  "Hi, there!  How
7653 there are three things you gotta do to get in.  First, drink down a quart of
7655 third, make love to an Eskimo woman."
7660 "Now, do you happen to know where I can find me a grizzly?"
7669 That is, they work by being declared to work.
7672 A large spider in an old house built a beautiful web in which to catch flies.
7675 quiet place in which to rest.  One day a fairly intelligent fly buzzed around
7679 So he flew away until he came to a place where there were a great many other
7680 flies.  He was about to settle down among them when a bee buzzed up and said,
7683 to the flypaper with all the other flies.
7689 	Make it possible for programmers to write in English
7692 A liberal is a man too broad minded to take his own side in a quarrel.
7708 A lifetime isn't nearly long enough to figure out what it's all about.
7713 A likely impossibility is always preferable to an unconvincing possibility.
7737 A little kid went up to Santa and asked him, "Santa, you know when I'm bad
7752 A foe to rest and peaceful slumber.
7753 If you add an "s" to this,
7787 A man always needs to remember one thing about
7791 tenderness, but after that begins to bunch them.
7794 A man arrived home early to find his wife in the arms of his best friend,
7797 you get a divorce so I can marry her.  If you win, I promise never to see
7800 on the side to make it interesting?"
7814 By superhuman effort he was able to get a precarious grip on it.  As he
7821 you'll be safe.  All you have to do is trust."
7829 A man goes into a bar and begins to tell a Polish joke.  The man sitting
7830 next to him, a big hulking powerhouse, turns and says menacingly, "*I'm*
7837 	"Now," says the first Polish man, "do you want to finish that joke?"
7841 	"No," replies the man.  "I just don't feel like having to explain it
7847 A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.
7855 with me.  But I'd be delighted to sell you a necktie."
7866 staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter.
7867 	"Water... can I get... water," the dying man manages to stammer.
7881 longest procession he's ever seen.  It seems to consist of the hearse,
7884 no longer, and walks up to one of the mourners.
7885 	"Excuse me, sir, I don't mean to bother you in your moment of grief,
7893 	"Get in line, buddy," replies the mourner, "get in line."
7896 antennae coming out of his head.  He goes up to him and says, "You're not
7910 A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn't want to be
7917 A man may sometimes be forgiven the kiss to which he is not entitled,
7918 but never the kiss he has not the initiative to claim.
7920 A man may well bring a horse to the water,
7930 A man said to the Universe:
7937 some basic instructions, they agreed to separate and rendezvous later.  Before
7938 he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
7939 might beat her to the carcass and claim the kill.  If that happened, he told
7940 her, she should fire her gun three times into the air and he would come to
7943 by the agreed upon signal.  Running to the scene, he found his wife standing
7947 just want to get my saddle back!"
7950 he is able to answer.
7953 A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a
7955 	"You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife,"
7958 tiptoe to our room.  But just as I'm about to slide into bed, she always
7963 stomp up to the bedroom and give my wife a big kiss.  `Hi, Alice,' I say.
7974 carrying on at this grave.  You must have been very close to the deceased."
7990 A man who likes to lie in bed can usually
7991 find a girl willing to listen to him.
7995 A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.
8007 destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in
8009 would deliberately go mad to prove his point.
8033 who is the one that wants to see it?"
8040 	The mathematician does some calculations and says: "According to my
8054 A memorandum is written not to inform the reader,
8055 but to protect the writer.
8070 paper reports, "The pilots fly out to sea and directly to the penguin
8082 calling to each other, and adolescent birds that were not associated
8099 A mind is a wonderful thing to waste.
8109 its species, managed to trap them in a corner.  The children cowered,
8113 children, turned with her teeth bared to the cat, towering huge above them,
8114 and suddenly began to bark in a fashion that would have done any Doberman
8117 you saved us!" and "Yay!  You scared the cat away!" she turned to them
8118 purposefully and declared, "You see how useful it is to know a second
8121 A mother takes twenty years to make a man of her boy,
8125 A motion to adjourn is always in order.
8127 A mouse is a device used to point at the xterm you want to type in.
8146 will be to us a national blessing.
8149 A neighbor came to Nasrudin, asking to borrow his donkey.  "It is out
8163 	If you have some ice cream, I will give it to you.
8171 A new taste had been acquired and a new appetite began to grow.  The time
8172 had long since arrived to crush the technical intelligentsia, which had
8173 come to regard itself as too irreplaceable and had not gotten used to
8175 the engineers - and from the very first years of the Revolution we saw to
8177 in line by healthy suspicion and surveillance by the workers.
8192 over the five-hundred-foot cliff to be smashed into pieces at the bottom.
8193 As the on-lookers rush to the edge of the cliff they see him fifty feet
8194 from the top of the cliff clinging to a stunted bush with all his strength.
8203 to his death.
8208 out of his window to ask an onlooker what was going on.  The fellow explained
8213 onlooker explained.  "Would you be willing to help?"
8224 "Yes" merely uttered to please, or what is worse, to avoid trouble.
8232 relied upon to know these things.  He thought for several minutes
8237 With that, the Chief Priest went to lunch.  The novice suddenly achieved
8276 A people living under the perpetual menace of war and invasion is very easy to
8300 A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.
8318 	He goes back out to the truck, and there's another animated
8333 A pipe gives a wise man time to think
8334 and a fool something to stick in his mouth.
8340 	 referring to memory management system services.]
8353 A Polish worker walks into a bank to deposit his paycheck.  He has heard
8354 about Poland's economic problems, and he asks what would happen to his
8358 	"Then the government will intercede to protect the working class,"
8362 to our assistance," the teller responds with growing irritation.
8369 but he has no means to realize it other than through violence.
8380 A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality.
8390 of yours to press against my heart.
8395 A priest advised Voltaire on his death bed to renounce the devil.
8396 Replied Voltaire, "This is no time to make new enemies."
8402 	It is that which men in former times had to bear upon their backs.
8403 	It is that which has caused nations to build byways from City to
8405 to be built to stave off Hunger, Thirst and Weariness.
8411 	That's all right, said the priest.  I wanted to know
8418 A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails, and then
8419 asks you not to kill him.
8428 being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite series of
8434 unfortunate enough to ask for the information in the first place.
8438 when its programs require attention to the irrelevant.
8440 A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to
8444 A prominent broadcaster, on a big-game safari in Africa, was taken to a
8448 they that they failed to observe the approach of a pride of lions led
8475 A putt that stops close enough to the cup to inspire such comments as
8478 to make a travesty of the game.
8493 	"And could you be anything higher than that, is there any way to go
8498 A raccoon tangled with a 23,000 volt line today.  The results
8503 entrance of the first black family to the exit of the last white family.
8513 commented to the farmer how sturdy the house looked.
8515 the hard way.  The steps to the front door, here, carved 'em out of
8520 looks over at the real estate agent who is trying not to stare too
8526 A real gentleman never takes bases unless he really has to.
8535 needed to "make sense" of such unnatural three dimensional objects.
8537 A regular expression goes into a pub with a friend, intending to
8539 out, he says to it, "Ere! I'll have no pattern match-making in my
8543 people what to do with their money.
8557 A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man
8576 banana, and on the other end a weight equal to the weight of the monkey.
8590 A rose is a rose is a rose.  Just ask Jean Marsh, known to millions of
8592 Downstairs."  Though Marsh has since gone on to other projects, ... it's
8593 with Rose she's forever identified.  So much so that she even likes to
8597 good in beds; better up against a wall.'  I want to tell you that's not
8606 A salamander scurries into flame to be destroyed.
8632 A sect or party is an elegant incognito devised to save a man from
8638 water which seems suddenly to have failed, are the signs in consciousness
8641 It is difficult to believe that this state of mind can be produced by the
8642 recognition of such facts as that unsupported stones always fall to the
8646 A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep
8651 A sequel is an admission that you've been reduced to imitating yourself.
8655 	As a method of sending a missile to the higher, and even to the
8658 multiple-charge rocket as a traveler to the moon that one begins to doubt...
8663 know the relation of action to re-action, and of the need to have something
8664 better than a vacuum against which to react... Of course he only seems to
8668 A sharper perspective on this matter is particularly important to feminist
8674 will appear to shift from men to women, and the moral victory from women to
8675 men.  More generally, this has been a weakness of radical politics: to
8678 submission.  To reduce domination to a simple relation of doer and done-to
8679 is to substitute moral outrage for analysis.
8682 A sine curve goes off to infinity, or at least the end of the blackboard.
8697 Ah no, it's always just my luck to get
8727 A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the
8730 and she needs a thousand dollars to take care of it.  The boy calls his folks:
8735 that teaches dogs to talk, and Ol' Blue is feelin' kind of left out 'cause
8736 he's the only dog that doesn't know how to talk.  She charges a thousand
8738 	The parents send the boy the thousand dollars, he forwards it to Mary
8740 at his dorm, 'cause he just can't figure out what to tell his parents.  Sure
8741 enough, when he gets home, the first thing his father wants to know is
8755 A statistician, who refused to fly after reading of the alarmingly high
8769 A student, in hopes of understanding the Lambda-nature, came to Greenblatt.
8779 A successful [software] tool is one that was used to do something
8789 other hand, ER doctors never have to deal with patients installing
8806 	Some guys take a long vacation to throw a ring into a volcano.
8824 	A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
8861 Intrigued, he drove up to the farmhouse, where he found an old farmer
8866 pig swam out and dragged her back to shore."
8869 the north forty when a tree fell on me.  Pinned me to the ground, it did.
8884 A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.
8918 A visit to a fresh place will bring strange work.
8920 A visit to a strange place will bring fresh work.
8924 A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
8964 A wizard cannot do everything; a fact most magicians are reticent to
8967 reason or another, completely immune to any direct magical spell.  It
8970 matters, to carry a large club near your person at all times.
8979 A woman did what a woman had to, the best way she knew how.
8980 To do more was impossible, to do less, unthinkable.
8991 her beauty has prompted us to be guilty.
8994 A woman has got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to be
9006 A woman may very well form a friendship with a man, but for this to endure,
9017 when indulged to in excess, is less harmful than excessive petting."
9020 A woman shouldn't have to buy her own perfume.
9023 A woman went into a hospital one day to give birth.  Afterwards, the doctor
9024 came to her and said, "I have some... odd news for you."
9029 one knew how.  The Head turned out to be fairly normal, ignoring his lack of
9052 A word to the wise is enough.
9055 A would-be disciple came to Nasrudin's hut on the mountain-side.  Knowing
9060 "To cool the soup."  Unable to trust a man who uses the same process
9061 to arrive at two different results -- hot and cold -- the disciple departed.
9063 A writer is congenitally unable to tell the truth and that is why we call
9070 A year spent in Artificial Intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
9077 a beautiful diamond ring in a jewelry-store window.  "Wow, I'd sure love to
9082 I'd give to own that," she said, sighing.
9090 walks up to a display case full of pearl necklaces.  He turns to a gorgeous
9093 allow me, I'd like to buy it for you."
9098 I could never spend it all.  I'd really like for you to have it."
9100 calls over a clerk and hands it to him.  The clerk peers at the check, looks
9105 	The next Monday the man comes back in and walks up to the counter.
9106 The same clerk hurries over to him and says, "Sir, I'm sorry to have to tell
9108 	"I know," the man replies.  "I just wanted to thank you for a
9111 A young man wrote to Mozart and said:
9114    suggestions as to how to get started?"
9116    some simple lieder and work your way up to a symphony."
9129 	1: If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
9135 on vacation, the gas station and drive-in theatre had to close.
9143 And to the presence in the room he said,
9157 About all some men accomplish in life is to send a son to Harvard.
9167 About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt
9168 ax.  It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
9178 	To be unexpectedly called away to the bedside of a dying relative
9189 Absence is to love what wind is to fire.  It extinguishes the small,
9204 	Exposed to the attacks of friends and acquaintances; defamed;
9208 	A person with an income who has had the forethought to remove
9216 	A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a
9224 men measured, 67% were found to be wearing neckwear that was tighter than
9231 		   Neck in Relation to Visual Performance."  Human Factors 29,
9255 	An unsuccessful attempt to find bugs.
9264 in a singular manner.  A gentleman with whom he was hunting attempted to
9278 According to a recent and unscientific national survey, smiling is something
9279 everyone should do at least 6 times a day.  In an effort to increase the
9281 smiling), Xerox has instructed all personnel to be happy, effervescent, and
9282 most importantly, to smile.  Xerox employees agree, and even feel strongly
9286 decided to give him a break.  If you see Tubby in a parking lot he may have
9290 According to all the latest reports,
9293 According to Arkansas law, Section 4761, Pope's Digest:  "No person
9294 shall be permitted under any pretext whatever, to come nearer than
9299 According to convention there is a sweet and a bitter, a hot and a cold,
9300 and according to convention, there is an order.  In truth, there are atoms
9304 According to Kentucky state law, every person must take a bath at least
9307 According to my best recollection, I don't remember.
9310 According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are
9313 According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never
9316 According to the Rand McNally Places-Rated Almanac, the best place to
9333 	A person whom we know well enough to borrow from but not well
9334 	enough to lend to.  A degree of friendship called slight when the
9340 Acting is not very hard.  The most important things are to be able to laugh
9341 and cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,
9359 Oliver Herford:	"Wonderful!  Wonderful!  Clever of you to think of
9373 Actually, my goal is to have a sandwich named after me.
9379 	only have one floor to go to.
9391 	Something you need only know the name of to be an Expert in
9397 [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
9403 Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later.
9406 Whenever one person is found adequate to the discharge of a duty by
9411 Adding sound to movies would be like
9415 Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done
9425 	Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
9431 Adopted kids are such a pain -- you have to teach them how to look
9440 	One old enough to know better.
9447 truths to be relied on in a newspaper.
9458 intelligence long enough to get money from it.
9469 Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic,
9504 		   Speech to the Association of American Law Schools
9507 It was replaced by disco, which offers no guidance to any form of life
9516 And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
9518 And you begin to accept your defeats
9521 And you learn to build all your roads
9527 For someone to bring you flowers.
9535 After all, all he did was string together
9551 for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have
9552 simply sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
9566 different kinds of metal to the leg of a frog, an electrical current
9568 attached to the frog, which was dead anyway.  Galvani's discovery led
9569 to enormous advances in the field of amphibian medicine.  Today,
9577 claiming that he was crippled and would have to spend the rest of his life
9581 	When he was wheeled into the insurance office to collect his check,
9583 this, Miller," one said.  "We're going to watch you day and night.  If you
9585 perjury.  Here's the money.  What do you intend to do with it?"
9586 	"My wife and I are going to travel," Miller replied.  "We'll go to
9587 Stockholm, Berlin, Rome, Athens and, finally, to a place called Lourdes --
9591 the unimpeded right to get rich, to use his ability, no matter what the
9592 cost to others, to win advancement.
9616 carried bleach with them to make their dark shirts white.
9630 first to do the experiment with oil drops, was the first to measure charges on
9631 single droplets, and may have been the first to suggest the use of oil.
9632 According to Fletcher, he had expected to be co-authored with Millikan on
9641 After two or three weeks of this madness, you begin to feel As One with
9649 But the Times might have enough room on the jump page to include a line
9653 oriental woman who seemed to be in control."
9656 straight to the point.
9674 And gather honey all the day		And labours hard to store it well
9680 For idle hands to do.			Some good account at last.
9697 	enterprise to commit.
9701 	Almost everything in life is easier to get into than out of.
9709 Ah, but the choice of dreams to live,
9713 some exit to nightmare
9719 "How good, how good does it feel to be free?"
9730 "Ah, you know the type.  They like to blame it all on the Jews or the
9731 Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact
9733 unfathomable crapshoot -- and the only reason THEY can't seem to keep
9740 excites me to... acts of passion... acts of... ineptitude.
9745 Ain't no right way to do a wrong thing.
9752 Ain't that something what happened today.  One of us got traded to
9758 	Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
9773 Al didn't smile for forty years.  You've got to admire a man like that.
9776 Alan Turing thought about criteria to settle the question of whether
9788 	A prelude to "No."
9790 Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself
9793 Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
9796 Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio, replied: "You see, wire
9803 	Social innovations tend to the level
9830 the closest our country has ever been to being even.
9864 All a man needs out of life is a place to sit 'n' spit in the fire.
9912 All his life he has looked away... to the horizon, to the sky,
9913 to the future.  Never his mind on where he was, on what he was doing.
9919 All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
9933 All I need to have a good time,
9938 All I want is to never grow old,
9939 I want to wash in a bathtub of gold.
9941 I want to wash in a bathtub of gold.
9943 I want to light my cigars with 10 dollar bills,
9944 I like to have a cattle ranch in Beverly Hills.
9946 I like to have a cattle ranch in Beverly Hills.
9959 All I've got left on the list of desirable vocations is heiress to the
9979 All men have the right to wait in line.
10007 All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific.
10017 the principal business of life is to enjoy it.
10020 synthetic hairballs for ceramic cats.  The lady across the hall tried to
10025 All of the true things I am about to tell you are shameless lies.
10029 Zen-like detachment, as exemplified by his constant reminder to clerks,
10050 All possibility of understanding is rooted in the ability to say no.
10067 to live beyond its income.
10074 to approximate a state akin to Gaussian noise.
10077 All snakes who wish to remain in Ireland will please raise their right hands.
10098 subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you
10101 decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper?  Outside?  What
10111 What's a young poet to do?		And knew what they're doin'
10116 And by a bird it was said!		Not to mention its gender.
10118 It reminds me of days of		So what is this line
10139 All the really good ideas I ever had came to me while I was milking a cow.
10161 Unwillingly to school.
10170 All things being equal, you are bound to lose.
10185 infinitely more to the human race than to the particular country in
10189 All we know is the phenomenon: we spend our time sending messages to each
10190 other, talking and trying to listen at the same time, exchanging information.
10191 This seems to be our most urgent biological function; it is what we do with
10201 All [zoos] actually offer to the public in return for the taxes spent
10202 upon them is a form of idle and witless amusement, compared to which a
10203 visit to a penitentiary, or even to a State legislature in session, is
10226 Also, the Scots are said to have invented golf.  Then they had
10227 to invent Scotch whiskey to take away the pain and frustration.
10230 ansa, v:	A spoken or written reply, as to a question.
10231 baa, n:		A place people meet to have a few drinks.
10233 baaba, n:	One whose business is to cut or trim hair or beards.
10244 Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight
10245 Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
10252 	"He made a bad decision, and what it came down to was, 'Well, I
10253 bought it because I figured it was safe to buy IBM,'"  Mr. O'Neil says.
10259 Although we modern persons tend to take our electric lights, radios,
10262 to plug them in.  Then along came the first Electrical Pioneer,
10267 penny saved is a penny earned."  Eventually he had to be given a job
10272 reissued by the Grove Press, and this pictorial account of the day-to-day
10273 life of an English gamekeeper is full of considerable interest to outdoor
10275 apprehending of poachers, ways to control vermin, and other chores and duties
10276 of the professional gamekeeper.  Unfortunately, one is obliged to wade
10277 through many pages of extraneous material in order to discover and savour
10283 Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
10290 Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
10301 into which no one is able to enter, invite them as we may.
10307 Always try to do things in chronological order; it's less confusing
10313 	If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to
10321 	Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
10325 	Telling the truth when you don't mean to.
10327 Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
10331 	An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while
10335 America: born free and taxed to death.
10344 and the scum rises to the top.
10357 from time to time threaten freedoms everywhere... Indeed, it is difficult
10358 to appreciate how far our freedoms might have eroded had it not been for the
10368 from barbarism to decadence without touching civilization.
10373 changed its name to "America".
10391 [Americans] are a race of convicts and ought to be thankful for anything
10399 The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
10406 to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.
10409 America's best buy for a quarter is a telephone call to the right person.
10411 Amnesia used to be my favorite word, but then I forgot it.
10433 An age is called Dark not because the light fails to shine, but because
10434 people refuse to see it.
10437 An Aggie farmer was lifting his hogs, one by one, up to the branches of
10438 his apple trees to graze on the apples.  A Texas student walked by and
10440 	Replied the Aggie, "What's time to a hog?"
10445 An algorithm must be seen to be believed.
10449 to lie and intrigue for the benefit of his country.
10452 An amendment to a motion may be amended, but an amendment to an amendment
10453 to a motion may not be amended.  However, a substitute for an amendment to
10454 and amendment to a motion may be adopted and the substitute may be amended.
10455 		-- The Montana legislature's contribution to the English
10462 winning physicist, Niels Bohr, in Copenhagen.  He was amazed to find that
10463 over Bohr's desk was a horseshoe, securely nailed to the wall, with the
10470 scarcely likely to believe in such foolish nonsense.  However, I am told
10477 		get to work?"
10482 A:		"Well, what if you want to go abroad?"
10484 A:		"Well, what if you really HAVE to go abroad?"
10487 An American's a person who isn't afraid to criticize
10488 the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
10490 An anthropologist at Tulane has just come back from a field trip to
10535 suitcase.  Now, I would like to stress that my client is *not* a
10539 really care to know.
10549 An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
10559 An elderly couple were flying to their Caribbean hideaway on a chartered plane
10560 when a terrible storm forced them to land on an uninhabited island.  When
10563 usual pledge to the United Way Campaign.
10565 barked.  "If you really need to know, I not only pledged a half million but
10573 anecdote, indeed an anecdote quite similar to many that you have no doubt
10576 the physicist understands too and chuckles to himself happily as he now
10577 has enough experimental evidence to publish a paper.  This leaves the
10580 humour from similar anecdotes, but considers this anecdote to be too
10581 trivial a corollary to be significant, let alone funny.
10604 to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
10608 doesn't need to be reminded all the time that he is very successful.
10611 successful as he is now.  Maybe he'll go to his 20th reunion, and
10626 as he sweeps on to the grand fallacy.
10641 A manly man, to be a wizard able;
10648 As old and strict he tended to ignore;
10655 That is to say, a hacker out of his cloister.
10658 Was he to study till his head wend round
10661 Was he to leave the world upon the shelf?
10662 Let Andy have his labor to himself!
10677 eyes we cannot bear to look out of, we blind them as quickly as
10683 An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
10689 is to allow oneself to be devoured.
10697 function constant in the upper-left corner applied to the objects designated
10715 	One of the grandchildren is immediately dispatched to honor the old
10724 An optimist is a man who looks forward to marriage.
10751 nothing is going to get better - it's not.
10800 to come to the aid of their country!" he said.  "We've GOT to make noises in
10802 spoke as he climbed.  When they got to the top, the lad cleared his throat and
10810 on, you know what I'm planning to do?  From now on, I'm going to protect
10812 the sun in the summer.  From rain when it's fall-ish, I'm going to protect
10817 Waiting to find out what price
10818 You have to pay to get out of
10822 And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
10826 "Merry Christmas to all --
10830 And I suppose the little things are harder to get used to than the big
10831 ones.  The big ones you get used to, you make up your mind to them.  The
10857 Be true to yourself and the Grateful Dead.
10861 what the dictionary says it means, you go to jail.  No exceptions.
10864 And malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.
10867 And miles to go before I sleep.
10888 Though still you may jam,	Dover, oh Dover, welcome back to the Lab.
10901 ...and report cards I was always afraid to show
10902 Mama'd come to school
10923 fascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it
10924 looking good, we have to care for it as though it were our own.  One
10925 approach is to undergo a painful surgical procedure wherein your skin
10929 procedure is pretty much limited to top Hollywood stars for whom
10938 turned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said.  Wide-eyed,
10945 penis remains small (relative to body height) throughout life, while
10955 with a plowshare, he's going to know he's been hit.
10965 Where the Lowells talk only to Cabots,
10966 And the Cabots talk only to God.
10972 As he started to roam:
10978 ways to sabotage they found!  Nikolai Karlovich von Meck, of the People's
10980 economic problems involved in the construction of socialism, and he loved to
10981 give advice.  One such pernicious piece of advice was to increase the size
10983 exposed van Meck, and he was shot: his objective had been to wear out rails
10984 and roadbeds, freight cars and locomotives, so as to leave the Republic
10998 And yet I should have dearly liked, I own, to have touched her lips; to
10999 have questioned her, that she might have opened them; to have looked upon
11000 the lashes of her downcast eyes, and never raised a blush; to have let
11002 in short, I should have liked, I do confess, to have had the lightest
11003 license of a child, and yet been man enough to know its value.
11009 tragedy face to face, we have politics.
11016 "And, you know, I mustn't preach to you, but surely it wouldn't be right for
11017 you to take away people's pleasure of studying your attire, by just going
11035 Tell us to go out and Buy.
11044 Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.
11069 Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build
11070 and nobody wants to do maintenance.
11073 Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
11086 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.
11097 	On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first strike
11126 	The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
11129 [a modified Porsche] up to speed, and almost immediately we are blowing off
11133 them at 130-plus -- to see if you're paying attention.
11147 Is there a better way to die?
11150 Any dramatic series the producers want us to take seriously as a
11152 representation of anything -- except a show to be ignored by anyone
11163 Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to
11166 Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of sense to know
11167 how to lie well.
11170 Any girl can be glamorous; all you have to do is stand still and look
11174 Any given program will expand to fill available memory.
11177 -- a cliche is a sure and certain way to dilute an idea.  For instance,
11178 my grandmother used to say, "The black cat is always the last one off
11186 rattling from the tree to the ground; but to labor in season and out
11195 liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person shall
11196 be deemed to be a cat.
11202 Any president should have the right to shoot
11217 Any road followed to its end leads precisely nowhere.
11218 Climb the mountain just a little to test it's a mountain.
11225 Any stone in your boot always migrates against the pressure gradient to
11243 Any time things appear to be going better, you have overlooked
11249 Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
11251 Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it.  No citizen
11252 has a moral obligation to assist in maintaining his government.
11256 organizing and campaigning for it is not to be trusted with the office.
11262 Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
11264 Anyone can become angry -- that is easy; but to be angry with the right
11265 person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
11270 supposed to be doing at the moment.
11276 Anyone can make an omelet with eggs.  The trick is to make one with
11286 Anyone stupid enough to be caught by the police is probably guilty.
11293 is a tolerable subhuman who has learned to wear shoes, bathe and not
11303 Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
11308 is roughly equivalent to "Look, another amazingly mobile form of slime
11324 account be allowed to do the job.
11325 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
11342 Anything cut to length will be too short.
11369 cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
11371 going I have to come out from somewhere and catch them.  That's all I'd do
11373 but that's the only thing I'd really like to be.  I know it's crazy.
11377 If you want to come, you're not invited.
11393 APL is a mistake, carried through to perfection.  It is the language of the
11420 	Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off
11425 	You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive.
11426 	You lie a great deal.  On the other hand, you are inclined to
11427 	be careless and impractical, causing you to make the same
11430 AQUARIUS (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)
11432 	on your outgoing personality and winning smile to get you into a lot
11437 	You are the type of person who never has enough money to do what
11438 	you want.  Don't expect things to get any better today, either.
11441 	able to lend you a few bucks.
11468 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11472 	Does it make you happy to know you're sending me to an early grave?
11482 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11486 	Do me a favour and don't tell me about it.  I don't want to know.
11493 	I'm going to kill you.
11494 	Way to go, clumsy.
11497 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11509 	How many times have I told you to be careful?
11512 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11519 	Why do you have to know so much?
11526 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11529 	When are you going to grow up?
11531 	Why are you crying?  Stop crying, or I'll give you something to
11541 Are you a parent?  Do you sometimes find yourself unsure as to what to
11546 	In order to be a man, you have to learn to follow orders.
11547 	That's for me to know and you to find out.
11586 Arithmetic is being able to count up to twenty without taking off your shoes.
11590 	To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
11598 	Virtue is the failure to achieve vice.
11602 	it is surely made out to someone else.
11610 Around computers it is difficult to find the correct unit of time to
11611 measure progress.  Some cathedrals took a century to complete.  Can you
11618 to be published or even performed until a year had elapsed after his death.
11623 	What if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?
11648 "Art" is the ability to separate the significant from the insignificant.
11654 	(1) People to whom you are attracted invariably think you
11656 	(2) The love letter you finally got the courage to send will be
11657 	    delayed in the mail long enough for you to make a fool of
11662 	enjoy the right to a speedy diaper change.  Public announcements and
11665 	The decision to eat strained lamb or not should be with the "feedee"
11669 	Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize, whether it be in church,
11672 	to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
11675 Artificial intelligence has the same relation to intelligence as
11676 artificial flowers have to flowers.
11686 "that you make jokes about setting fire to a goat?" ...
11689 As an adolescent I aspired to lasting fame, I craved factual certainty, and
11700 	The Aussie notices the fly as he puts the glass to his lips.  With
11705 firm voice he speaks to the fly: "There y'are now laddie, safe and sound.
11711 As failures go, attempting to recall the past is like trying to grasp
11716 As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not
11717 certain, and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality.
11723 As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport.
11730 As Gen. de Gaulle occasionally acknowledges America to be the daughter
11731 of Europe, so I am pleased to come to Yale, the daughter of Harvard.
11741 methods of rational thought will be to make sudden mindless conversions --
11742 to anything -- less likely.  Brian now realizes this and has, after eleven
11744 untrained mind has made a formal commitment to a religious philosophy --
11777 I came upon a billboard and much to my dismay,
11788 Learn to play the piano in your winter underwear,
11792 As in certain cults it is possible to
11799 norms and standards that not even IBM can hope to control.  You can buy a
11804 allegiance to IBM's original faith, and denounced the company as a divisive
11813 speech and the free press.  Every time I hear these words I say to
11821 schedules, there will be Real Programmers willing to jump in and Solve
11825 When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular.
11829 One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
11830 useful and interesting, I just had to share it.
11835  2. If I go into the street, I'm apt to be bitten by a horse.
11839  6. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
11840  7. I like to kill mosquitoes.
11841  8. Cousins are not to be trusted.
11842  9. It makes me embarrassed to fall down.
11844 11. I think most people would cry to gain a point.
11847 14. I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.
11853 20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
11856 One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
11857 useful and interesting, I just had to share it.
11862  2. I use shoe polish to excess.
11867  7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.
11871 11. It's hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room
11878 17. Cousins are not to be trusted.
11879 18. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
11881 20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
11901 As part of an ongoing effort to keep you, the Fortune reader, abreast of
11911 	I do not know how to run the C programs that are posted in the
11912 	sources newsgroup.  I save the files, edit them to remove the
11914 	cannot get them to run.  (I have never written a C program before.)
11923 		-- USA Today, referring to the Internal Revenue Service
11924 		   conversion to a new computer system.
11932 As soon as we started programming, we found to our surprise that it wasn't
11933 as easy to get programs right as we had thought.  Debugging had to be
11935 part of my life from then on was going to be spent in finding mistakes in
11940 because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
11943 As the system comes up, the component builders will from time to time appear,
11951 As the trials of life continue to take their toll, remember that there
11955 As to Jesus of Nazareth... I think the system of Morals and his Religion,
11956 as he left them to us, the best the World ever saw or is likely to see;
11958 with most of the present Dissenters in England, some doubts as to his
11969 memory aid that you can use to determine whether it is the correct time
11970 to order chocolate dishes: any month whose name contains the letter A,
11980 Wright Brothers.  They were watching birds one day, trying to figure
11981 out how to get their crude machine to fly, when suddenly it dawned on
11982 Wilbur.  "Orville," he said, "all we have to do is remove the sexual
11984 birds are very, very difficult to arouse sexually.  You almost never
11985 see an aroused bird.  So when they want to reproduce, birds fly up and
11988 talking dirty, they grip the line very tightly until they are both
11993 As you reach for the web, a venomous spider appears.  Unable to pull
11995 The venom takes affect quickly causing your lips to turn plaid along
12002 As you will see, I told them, in no uncertain terms, to see Figure one.
12005 As Zeus said to Narcissus, "Watch yourself."
12007 Ascend to the high mountain pass,
12009 Do not give up to the great distance:
12012 You will overcome it if you try to.
12024 ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.
12026 Ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
12030 one went to Harvard).
12034 will pay only the station-to-station rate.
12045 Ask your boss to reconsider -- it's so difficult to take "Go to hell"
12048 Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.
12051 Asked by reporters about his upcoming marriage to a forty-two-year-old
12056 Asked how she felt being the first woman to make a major-league team, she
12057 said, "Like a pig in mud," or words to that effect, and then turned and
12060 learned to chew when she was playing Nicaraguan summer ball.  She told the
12061 writers, "They were so mean to me down there you couldn't write it in your
12062 newspaper.  I took a gun everywhere I went, even to bed.  *Especially* to
12067 the Sparrow's P.R. guy, to bite off a chunk and tell them how it tasted,
12070 two years?  God, I had no idea it was so hard to be a woman."
12099 available.  The best computer scientists sit down to think up some solution.
12102 relativity and all.  She replies, "What does that have to do with solving
12106 fast machine and the computer would have just a few minutes to calculate but
12116 it is, that is equivalent to saying that it is at rest.
12119 At ebb tide I wrote a line upon the sand, and gave it all my heart and all
12120 my soul.  At flood tide I returned to read what I had inscribed and found my
12125 We never wanted to hurt anyone.  The girls loved it.  We'd all sit
12129 It got so I'd have to do some UNIX during the weekdays.  After a
12131 crave to go do UNIX.  Then it started affecting my job.  I would just
12132 have to do it during my break.  Maybe a `grep' or two, maybe a little
12133 `more'.  I eventually started doing UNIX just to get through the day.
12144 the creative mind seems more likely to hinder than to help, but this is
12150 challenge roughly comparable to herding cats.
12153 At last I've found the girl of my dreams.  Last night she said to me,
12166 At once it struck me what quality went to form a man of achievement,
12186 contradictory attitudes -- an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre
12189 nonsense.  Of course, scientists make mistakes in trying to understand the
12195 At the hospital, a doctor is training an intern on how to announce bad news
12196 to the patients.  The doctor tells the intern "This man in 305 is going to
12198 room, over to the man's bedside and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!"
12201 You've got to take it easy, work your way up to the subject.  Now this man in
12202 213 has about a week to live.  Go in and tell him, but, gently, you hear me,
12204 	The intern goes softly into the room, humming to himself, cheerily
12205 opens the drapes to let the sun in, walks over to the man's bedside, fluffs
12207 guess who's going to die soon!"
12220 At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the
12228 Atlanta makes it against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole
12234 Attempting to stop MySQL by buying companies around it is like trying
12235 to kill a dolphin by drinking the ocean.
12239 decision (holding that subjects have a right to remain silent and have a
12252 	Someone who listens to the equipment instead of the music.
12260 Authors (and perhaps columnists) eventually rise to the top of whatever
12261 depths they were once able to plumb.
12264 Authors are easy to get on with -- if you're fond of children.
12284 Avoid revolution or expect to get shot.  Mother and I will grieve, but
12292 to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
12310 that the Soviets would invade Poland to put down the demonstrations.  Foreign
12311 correspondents were curious as to just what the Poles would do if they were
12321 problems of terminology were all Bell System.  We used to struggle with
12322 written descriptions of dial pads that were unfamiliar to most people
12325 the good old days) made up the term "octalthorpe" (note spelling) to denote
12329 Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere,
12333 	Putting saliva in a dog's mouth in an attempt to make a bell ring.
12335 Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string.
12352 	Trying to be a first-rate reporter on the average American
12353 newspaper is like trying to play Bach's "St. Matthew Passion" on a
12400 	    to continue the correspondence, he stops writing.
12444 BASIC is to computer programming as QWERTY is to typing.
12448 	A programming language.  Related to certain social diseases in
12457 	faucet is turned on to a certain point.
12464 	will not yield to the tongue.
12468 will beat a psychopath to your door.
12475 get your Feet wet.  Fall not in Love, therefore: it will stick to your
12497 Be careful when a loop exits to the same place from side and bottom.
12508 to be seen at the opera with a man than at mass with a woman.
12513 Be frank and explicit with your lawyer ... it is his business to confuse
12517 Things won't get any better so get used to it.
12527 Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.
12533 Be open to other people -- they may enrich your dream.
12535 Be prepared to accept sacrifices.
12547 Speak to the person next to you in the unemployment line tomorrow.
12549 Be sure to evaluate the bird-hand/bush ratio.
12557 	control and from which you go out to control other pieces of
12573 Beauty and harmony are as necessary to you as the very breath of life.
12577 Beauty is one of the rare things which does not lead to doubt of God.
12581 Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.
12584 Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
12589 Because I do not hope to survive
12622 ...before I could come to any conclusion it occurred to me that my speech
12636 starting the large investment of coding, try to kill the project
12643 you really want to know the answers.
12651 	A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so
12652 you won't have to watch commercials.
12654 Beggar to well-dressed businessman:
12664 Behind every successful man you'll find a woman with nothing to wear.
12681 Being a mime means never having to say you're sorry.
12684 stupid to do your job properly, you have to go, where the very
12693 to the pregnant woman at the cocktail party.  And yet another guest went over
12696 seven or eight periods now and it's beginning to worry me."
12708 Being in politics is like being a football coach.  You have to be smart
12709 enough to understand the game and dumb enough to think it's important.
12716 Being owned by someone used to be called
12721 Being the #2 man in the Justice Department under Ed Meese is akin to
12722 standing next to a lamp post infested with pigeons.
12740 	(1) Houses are for people to live in.
12741 	(2) Gardens are for plants to live in.
12754 to the copy center and make as many copies as you want."
12761 Bernard was a young eighty-three, not a gomer, and able to talk.  He'd been
12768 rare to get a TURF from the MBH to the House, and the Fat Man was curious:
12769 "Bernard, you went to the MBH, they did a great work-up, and you told them,
12770 after they got done, you wanted to be transferred here. Why?"
12777 Fats laughed and said, "Listen, Bernie, you went to the MBH, they did this
12778 great workup, and when I asked you shy you came to the House of God, all you
12786 	listen to nobody... and those who listen to everybody.
12795 IF ANYTHING IS DAMAGED OR MISSING: You IMMEDIATELY should turn to your
12805 judged Coors and Miller's High Life to be among the very best. Those who
12807 history. For example, New England's first colonists decided to drop anchor
12808 at Plymouth Rock instead of continuing on to Virginia because, as one of
12815 four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all
12828 Best of all is never to have been born.  Second best is to die soon.
12832 	sanity to hardware or software intended to destroy all three.
12833 	In earlier days, virgins were often selected to beta test volcanos.
12874 Better to be nouveau than never to have been riche at all.
12876 Better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.
12879 Better to use medicines at the outset than at the last moment.
12891 equivalent exists) but failed to word an appropriation bill for the
12895 It stands today, a monument to human spirit.  If life exists on other
12912 	 referring to system service dispatching.]
12942 the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell.
12990 	generation to generation?
12995 	Possessing the ability to have friends of both sexes.
13002 	Don't try to stem the tide -- move the beach.
13010 	Refers to someone who has homes in Nome, Alaska, and Buffalo,
13013 Birds and bees have as much to do with the facts of life as black
13034 	A unit of measure applied to color.  Twenty-four-bit color
13035 	refers to expensive $3 color as opposed to the cheaper 25
13036 	cent, or two-bit, color that use to be available a few years
13077 She wants to hit those bricks,
13078 	'cause the news at six got to stick to a deadline,
13082 I don't want to hear it but he won't turn it down...
13094 Blessed are they that have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded
13095 to say it.
13111 Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
13121 	Using anything BUT a hammer to hammer a nail into the
13139 		[Funny to Jack Slingwine, Guy Harris and Hal Pierson.  Ed.]
13142 	Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
13160 	Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
13163 seemed to come from Texas.
13184 	A person who talks when you wish him to listen.
13193 	According to the Oxford English Dictionary, in the Middle Ages
13195 in addition to meaning "a supervisor of workers" also meant "an
13212 on the same communications line connection.
13241 Boy, life takes a long time to live.
13264 Everybody tends to drift toward Bozoness.  It has Oz in it.  They mean
13266 like their comforts.  The Bozos have learned to enjoy their free time,
13270 Brace yourselves.  We're about to try something that borders on the
13273 to think of it as `Constructive Snottiness.'
13274 		-- Mike Padlipsky, Foreword to "Elements of Networking
13283 easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger have
13292 Brain, v. [as in "to brain"]:
13293 	To rebuke bluntly, but not pointedly; to dispel a source
13298 theoretical disease invented to explain certain utter cretinisms in
13308 single to right field.  Feeling the wind at my back, I rounded second and
13311 bat, our manager put in the fast Brandy Davis to run for the player at first.
13312 Even with Kiner hitting and a change to win the game with a home run, Brandy
13315 start to take a lead.  All of a sudden, here he comes.  He makes a great slide
13317 shouts, "Back to second if I can make it."
13360 data or a sequence of events in which they are instructed to discover
13361 an underlying order, subjects show strong tendencies to perceive order
13362 and causality in random arrays, to perceive a pattern or correlation
13364 in the data is counterintuitive, to jump to conclusions about the correct
13365 hypothesis, to seek and to use only positive or confirmatory evidence, to
13366 construe evidence liberally as confirmatory, to fail to generate or to
13367 assess alternative hypotheses, and having thus managed to expose themselves
13368 only to confirmatory instances, to be fallaciously confident of the validity
13370 analyzing of past events, these tendencies are exacerbated by failure to
13389 more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate.
13390 If you are civil to the voluble, they will abuse your patience; if
13400 Britain to be descended from the ten lost tribes of Israel deported by
13412 	People tend to congregate in the back
13420 in relation to their environment and to their own physiology:  when
13430 	Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later
13457 	A derogatory term, usually referring to a person's
13460 Buck-passing usually turns out to be a boomerang.
13470 Fortunately, the second-to-last bug has just been fixed.
13486 BULLWINKLE: "You just leave that to my pal.  He's the brains of the
13501 	an attempt to catch it before the automatic light comes on.
13505 	When a government bureau is scheduled to be phased out,
13534 Burnt Sienna.  That's the best thing that ever happened to Crayolas.
13555 But, for my own part, it was Greek to me.
13560 Ever stopped to think or CARE
13564 I meant no harm;  I just liked the explosions.  And I was careful never to
13570 "But I don't want to go on the cart..."
13576 But I find the old notions somehow appealing.  Not that I want to go
13577 back to them -- it is outrageous to have some outer authority tell you
13579 to hold reason higher than body or feeling.  Still there is something
13581 theft or assault violate the doer as well as the done to.  We might
13585 with that; implicitly, everyone would like to break the rule, but not
13586 everyone is arrogant enough to imagine they can get away with it.  It
13587 therefore becomes very important for the rule upholders to bring such
13591 But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable
13592 nowadays, the best pretext is to be at work on some profound study.
13604 But like the Good Book says... There's BIGGER DEALS to come!
13618 But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast
13619 to the nearest gas station.
13621 But scientists, who ought to know
13635 But get thee to a nunnery -- go!
13646 electricity through a wire to a customer, then immediately gets the
13648 part) sends it right back to the customer again.
13652 very few customers take the time to examine their electricity closely.
13655 ever since, which is why they have so much free time to apply for rate
13663 place to be, since I particularly want to move ahead to the kludge.
13666 enough RAM's, poor quality interface and too few bytes to go around?
13669 But what we need to know is, do people want nasally-insertable
13693 Scram, beat it, get thee hence, and nuts to you.
13701 By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
13703 By long-standing tradition, I take this opportunity to savage other
13709 by practice, they get to be wide apart.
13713 In fact, it is as difficult to appropriate the thoughts of others
13714 as it is to invent.
13718 		[to which I reply, "You think it's easy for me to
13727 By the time they had diminished from 50 to 8, the other dwarves began
13728 to suspect "Hungry" ...
13742 By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity.
13747 you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve.
13753 Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to
13754 point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very
13756 often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people
13757 from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B
13758 that so many people from point A are so keen to get _t_h_e_r_e.  They often
13760 they wanted to be.
13761 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
13777 C makes it easy for you to shoot yourself in the foot.  C++ makes that
13784 anything else.  It is either the best language available to the art
13798 	is supposed to know is there.
13800 California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange.
13809 Californians are a strange people.  They'll put every chemical known to God
13823 	 referring to logical names.]
13825 Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!
13830 Calm down, and speak to me in English,
13849 Campus sidewalks never exist as the straightest line between two
13864 only way to obtain friends.  Everything worthwhile has a price.
13868 	It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
13890 	You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's
13900 eventually it began to sink in.  Finally, in one conversation, he used
13907 		-- RKO executive, reacting to Fred Astaire's screen test
13922 	a suspicious person, and it will occur to you that astrologers
13925 CAPRICORN (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)
13926 	Follow your instincts.  You are much too scatterbrained to do anything
13934 they tend to take root and become trees.
13942 Carelessly planned projects take three times longer to complete than
13943 expected.  Carefully planned projects take four times longer to
13945 planning to reduce the time it takes.
13947 Carmel, New York, has an ordinance forbidding men to wear coats and
13959 	The act, when vacuuming, of running over a string at least a
13961 putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance.
13986 Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
13992 Cats, no less liquid than their shadows, offer no angles to the wind.
13997 Caution: Breathing may be hazardous to your health.
14022 Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
14029 Census Taker to Housewife:
14037 symptoms related to senility, apathy, depression, and overall poor academic
14038 performance.  A certain small number of brain cells will deteriorate due to
14041 victims of this dread disorder due to poor habits such as overstudying.
14046 alcohol cause many brain cells to perish due to oxygen deprivation.  Through
14053 Cerebus:	I'd love to lick apricot brandy out of your navel.
14054 Jaka:		Look, Cerebus -- Jaka has to tell you ... something
14061 Certain old men prefer to rise at dawn, taking a cold bath and a long
14063 then point with pride to these practices as the cause of their sturdy
14074 nuts shall have reference to such nuts, other than ground nuts, as would
14102 Chance is perhaps the work of God when He did not want to sign.
14115 Isaac Newton's famous brother Phigg.  His idea was to provide an equation
14117 quite reach zero.  Historically, he was merely trying to work out his
14119 a function that would continue to grow, but never reach unity.  This equation
14120 can be applied to charging capacitors, over-damped springs, and the human
14164 	If you help a friend in need, he is sure to remember you--
14177 Chemistry professors never die, they just fail to react.
14203 Chicken Little only has to be right once.
14211 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
14220 despite every effort to teach them good manners.
14223 going to catch you in next.
14226 Children aren't happy without something to ignore,
14237 Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
14243 	The amount of time required to complete a government project is
14244 	precisely equal to the length of time already spent on it.
14246 Chisolm's First Corollary to Murphy's Second Law:
14255 	Always Forgetting to
14270 And we begged her not to go.
14300 There's time to rob him all the more,	Or a matching pen and pencil,
14308 Let the raucous sleighbells jingle;	Tell us to go out and buy.
14341 which is invisible to her patron -- namely, that he is a blockhead.
14345 aspires to be a hero... must drink brandy.
14355 Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're
14385 day before - walking several blocks at a time.  To those who design to be
14386 riddled with bullets or cut to pieces with Bowie-knives, we cordially
14390 Climbing onto a bar stool, a piece of string asked for a beer.
14391 	"Wait a minute.  Aren't you a string?"
14394 	The determined string left the bar and stopped a passer-by.  "Excuse,
14396 passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar.  "May I have a beer,
14398 	The barkeep set a beer in front of the string, then suddenly stopped.
14399 "Hey, aren't you the string I just threw out of here?"
14417 	than by the fact that, when exposed to the same atmosphere,
14438 		-- Cheers, Coach Returns to Action
14444 Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
14446 		-- Cheers, The Mail Goes to Jail
14449 Norm: A reason to live.  Gimme another beer.
14496 	There is no bottom to worse.
14500 	time you have to do anything.  Stability is achieved when you spend
14504 	You weren't paying attention to the other half of what was
14524 	The fountains of knowledge, where everyone goes to drink.
14530 loss to humanity.
14534 	Where they don't buy M & M's, 'cause they're so hard to peel.
14556 "but the important thing is that they're not about to admit it."
14557 		-- Philip Broughton, "How to Win at Wordsmanship"
14565 	attracted to.
14570 Come, every frustum longs to be a cone,
14572 Hark to the gentle gradient of the breeze:
14589 Come, let us hasten to a higher plane,
14591 Their indices bedecked from one to _n,
14614 Yes, even to the IRS.
14618 You'll share my life - up to a point!
14619 And that you'll be so glad to do,
14630 And fill me, from the crown to the toe, top-full
14632 Stop up the access and passage to remorse
14635 The effect and it! Come to my woman's breasts,
14645 Comedy, like Medicine, was never meant to be practiced by the general public.
14647 Coming to Stores Near You:
14663 	such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
14684 	(5) Be the first to move for adjournment; this will make you
14687 Committees have become so important nowadays that subcommittees have to
14688 be appointed to do the work.
14715 Comparing software engineering to classical engineering assumes that software
14716 has the ability to wear out.  Software typically behaves, or it does not.  It
14741 	When you say something to another which everyone knows isn't true.
14757 Computer programs expand so as to fill the core available.
14760 	1) A study akin to numerology and astrology, but lacking the
14773 adding a new wing to a building as being maintenance
14788 Computers can't cruise.  Meandering is a foreign concept to them.
14815 	A special meeting in which the boss gathers subordinates to hear
14816 	what they have to say, so long as it doesn't conflict with what
14817 	he's already decided to do.
14819 Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven;
14820 confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
14834 	One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided to himself by C.
14865 Congratulations!  You are the one-millionth user to log into our system.
14867 hesitate to ask!
14872 maneuver.  Which is why we ask you to PLEASE FOR GOD'S SAKE READ THIS
14894 a suit and tie and brought its color back to an earth tone before it
14898 		   nameless to the development team after releasing
14919 to come up with new products which don't fit together with the old
14947 	A document in which a hapless company consents never to commit
14949 	never admitted to in the first place.
14960 	from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
14971 thought is frightening.  Is this how God came into being?  Try not to
14975 it is which never entrusts its life to one hole only.
14979 the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
14983 	(1) Someone you pay to take the watch off your wrist and tell
14992 	[From con "to defraud, dupe, swindle," or, possibly, French con
14995 	has learned to decamp at high speed in spite of a large briefcase
15003 give it back to them.
15006 	Medical term meaning "to share the wealth."
15021 Contrary to popular belief, penguins are not the salvation of modern
15040 Cops never say good-bye.  They're always hoping to see you again in the
15041 line-up.
15051 	visible signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a
15067 His job is to enforce the law and fight crime.
15073 Couldn't we jury-rig the cat to act as an audio switch, and have it yell
15074 at people to save their core images before logging them out?  I'm sure
15076 mounted iguana, while more perverted, gives better traction, not to mention
15077 being easier to stake.
15091 Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear -- not absence of fear.
15100 Courtship to marriage, as a very witty prologue to a very dull play.
15115 attention to detail.  It requires intelligence, dedication, and an
15129 sometimes you have to squeeze a little to get the paste out of the tube.
15131 Credit ... is the only enduring testimonial to man's confidence in man.
15138 	If you are the first to know about something bad,
15139 	you are going to be held responsible for acting on it,
15146 	A person who boasts himself hard to please because nobody tries
15147 	to please him.
15154 seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
15157 Crito, I owe a cock to Asclepius; will you remember to pay the debt?
15171 	If a committee is allowed to discuss a bad idea long enough, it
15172 	will inevitably decide to implement the idea simply because so
15199 curtation n. The enforced compression of a string in the fixed-length field
15233 	There are two sides to every argument, unless a person
15237 eliminates dreams, goals, and ideals and lets us get straight to the
15243 as they ought to be.  Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking
15244 out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
15264 	The city that chose Astroturf to
15282 Dare to be naive.
15294 Then his house I start to wreck
15302 Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a member of the
15323 Dave Mack:	"Your stupidity, Allen, is simply not up to par."
15334 	* Goatees & Van Dykes thought to be worn only by weenies
15336 	* Fabulous babes coast to coast
15344 instantly link man to machine--or machine to machine--by land, air,
15346 ways of thinking, his means of education, his relationship to his physical
15353 	The density of rush-hour traffic is directly proportional to
15354 	1.5 times the amount of extra time you allow to arrive on time.
15360 	The time when men of reason go to bed.
15372 	Work hard to improve.
15373 Success is also easy to handle:
15374 	You've solved the wrong problem.  Work hard to improve.
15377 all our researches ... point to an average increase of 5.75% per year.
15381 	How can I choose what groups to post in?
15386 all, the net exists to give you an audience.  Ignore those who suggest you
15389 	Always make sure followups go to all the groups.  In the rare event
15391 expand the list of groups.  Never include a "Followup-to:" line in the
15397 	I collected replies to an article I wrote, and now it's time to
15414 	Post your response to the whole net.  That request applies only to
15415 dumb people who don't have something interesting to say.  Your postings are
15416 much more worthwhile than other people's, so it would be a waste to reply by
15421 	I saw a long article that I wish to rebut carefully, what should
15427 between the lines.  Be sure to post, and not mail, even though your article
15428 looks like a reply to the original.  Everybody *loves* to read those long
15435 tried complaints to his sysadmin, organizing mail campaigns, called for
15436 his removal from the net and phoning his employer to get him fired.
15441 	Go to the daily papers.  Most modern reporters are top-notch computer
15444 represent the situation properly to the public.  The public will also all
15447 	Papers never sensationalize or distort, so be sure to point out things
15450 literally.  Link what transpires on the net to the causes of the Holocaust, if
15451 possible.  If regular papers won't take the story, go to a tabloid paper --
15455 	I'm still confused as to what groups articles should be posted
15456 to.  How about an example?
15460 	Ok.  Let's say you want to report that Gretzky has been traded from
15461 the Oilers to the Kings.  Now right away you might think rec.sport.hockey
15467 He is a big star, so post to sci.astro, and sci.space because they are also
15468 interested in stars.  Next, his name is Polish sounding.  So post to
15469 soc.culture.polish.  But that group doesn't exist, so cross-post to
15471 interest, your article will be quite bizarre, so post to talk.bizarre as
15472 well.  (And post to comp.std.mumps, since they hardly get any articles
15474 	You may also find it is more fun to post the article once in each
15476 will only show the article to the reader once!  Don't tolerate this.
15480 	Today I posted an article and forgot to include my signature.
15485 	Rush to your terminal right away and post an article that says,
15486 "Oops, I forgot to post my signature with that last article.  Here
15489 (particularly since it dared to be so boring as to not have a nice, juicy
15498 	It is important, when testing, to test the entire net.  Never test
15501 a message with a line like that.  Don't use a subject like "My sex is female
15502 but I demand to be addressed as male." because such articles are read in depth
15508 unknown to you we have something in common.  We are both rather
15509 prone to mistakes.  I was elected Student Government President by
15510 mistake, and you came to school here by mistake.
15513 	I just want *_o_n_e* one-armed manager so I never have to hear "On
15517 have to eat them.
15526 economics class, your teacher is correct.  Catching on to this principle
15527 of education may be of even greater importance to you now than learning
15540 rain.  May I ask a young lady who is a stranger to me to share its protection?
15544 and I don't even know her name.  Could I have asked her to get under my
15550 attractive she is.  In order not to give Good Samaritanism a bad name, Miss
15551 Manners asks you to allow her two or three rainy days of unmolested protection
15559 table next to some actual food such as eggs, and the announcer always
15561 "Adjacent to this complete breakfast", or "On the same table as this
15572 signs to alert the reader that an "S" is coming up at the end of a
15574 ANY ITEM'S.  Another important grammar concept to bear in mind when
15581 	I couldn't get mail through to somebody on another site.  What
15586 	No problem, just post your message to a group that a lot of people
15593 your message to 9000 other computers, you might actually have to (gasp) call
15596 	And certainly it's better to spend 10 to 20 dollars of other people's
15597 money distributing the message than for you to have to waste $9 on an overnight
15612 Death has been proven to be 99% fatal in laboratory rats.
15618 Death is God's way of telling you not to be such a wise guy.
15627 Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
15631 Only it doesn't leave you much time to think about anything else.
15635 Death to all fanatics!
15638 	The only wish that always comes true, whether or not one wishes it to.
15652 memba, n:	To recall to the mind; think of again.
15662 	The person in your office who was unable to form a task force
15680 marvelous things.  It's one thing to be able to say "I've got a
15681 theory", quite another to say "I've got a semantic theory", but, ah,
15691 mon."] The vain attempt to avoid errors by inactivity.  "Nothing will
15695 Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
15703 		-- really weird C code to count the number of bits in a word
15738 Delay is preferable to error.
15748 	 referring to I/O system services.]
15751 related hallucinogens, in contrast to spontaneous visionary experiences,
15754 to influence our consciousness, the innermost essence of our being.  The
15755 history of LSD to date amply demonstrates the catastrophic consequences that
15761 I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing capability
15768 	The act of examining one's bread to determine which side it is
15776 to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
15777 overdose of fluoride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
15778 apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
15800 Democracy is a form of government in which it is permitted to wonder
15811 Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who
15830 deserve to get it good and hard.
15834 forms that have been tried from time to time.
15843 prejudice, and impulse, without restraint or regard to consequences.
15854 you don't have to waste your time voting.
15875 Dental health is next to mental health.
15904 prior to their emergence from the shell.
15906 Despising machines to a man,
15921 Destiny is a good thing to accept when it's going your way. When it isn't,
15931 Dianetics is a milestone for man comparable to his discovery of
15932 fire and superior to his invention of the wheel and the arch.
15940 Did it ever occur to you that fat chance
15953 Did you ever wonder what you'd say to God if He sneezed?
15977 		 Come to the award-winning 1987 film,
15989 Defend all life: "From greatest to least, from human to yeast!"
16005 them up end to end, they'd still point in the wrong direction?
16022 Didja' ever have to make up your mind,
16025 Didja' ever have to make up your mind?
16028 Didja hear about the dyslexic devil worshiper who sold his soul to Santa?
16031 conventional thing to happen to him.
16065 Dinosaurs aren't extinct.  They've just learned to hide in the trees.
16070 Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone
16084 Diplomacy is to do and say, the nastiest thing in the nicest way.
16106 absence of anyone to hold them is left as an exercise for the reader.
16121 Disco is to music what Etch-A-Sketch is to art.
16143 	A disease incurred by exposure to the prosperity of a friend.
16146 District of Columbia pedestrians who leap over passing autos to escape
16177 Do not despair of life.  You have no doubt force enough to overcome
16179 a winter night for something to satisfy his hunger.  Notwithstanding
16193 Do not meddle in the affairs of troff, for it is subtle and quick to anger.
16199 for they become soggy and hard to light.
16202 for they are subtle and quick to anger.
16216 Do not stoop to tie your laces in your neighbor's melon patch.
16220 Do not try to solve all life's problems at once --
16221 learn to dread each day as it comes.
16252 Do what you can to prolong your life,
16259 Every time you go to the beach, does the tide come in?
16263 If so, welcome to National Fat Week.
16265 	...by force-feeding a box of cornstarch to a skinny person.
16274 Do you know, I think that Dr. Swift was silly to laugh about Laputa.
16275 I believe it is a mistake to make a mock of people, just because they
16278 like poison.  Even if some thinkers are fanciful, it is wrong to make
16279 fun of them for it.  Better to think about cucumbers even, than not
16280 to think at all.
16318 Do you want to know what's ahead for you, in your happiness at home,
16322 Yes?  Then you are on your way to success as a woman.
16326 Do they like to shake their tails?
16330 Do your part to help preserve life on
16331 Earth -- by trying to preserve your own.
16333 Doctors and lawyers must go to school for years and years, often with
16334 little sleep and with great sacrifice to their first wives.
16350 Does a good father allow a single child to starve?
16351 Does a good programmer refuse to maintain his code?
16358 Dogs just don't seem to be able to tell the difference between important people
16368 	bad road.  She had so many gold teeth, Don, she use to have to
16370 Don:	Oh Bill, it must be hard to lose a relative.
16397 Don't buy a landslide.  I don't want to have to pay for one more vote
16398 than I have to.
16429 Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
16434 Don't expect people to keep in step--
16435 it's hard enough just staying in line.
16458 Don't get to bragging.
16466 Don't go to bed with no price on your head.
16473 Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.
16501 don't let nobody tell you what you got to do,
16540 Don't put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.
16565 Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
16573 Don't stop to stomp ants when the elephants are stampeding.
16589 Don't talk to me about naval tradition.  It's nothing but rum,
16598 Don't tell me I'm burning the candle at both ends -- tell me where to
16607 Don't try to have the last word -- you might get it.
16610 Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes.  I get stranger things than you free
16630 good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
16633 Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.  It's already
16651 want to help you could agree with each other?
16673 Down to the Banana Republics,
16674 Down to the tropical sun.
16676 Hoping to find some fun.
16679 Trying to find what is ailing,
16698 by blood lost to the voracious mosquito.  The estimated life-expectancy
16700 time, approximately 250,000 mosquitoes would have drawn enough blood to
16718 If after the third month you haven't gotten to your dream weight, try
16721 Dr. Jekyll had something to Hyde.
16727 	If you can't seem to find your glasses,
16737 	The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front
16757 Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin
16762 that is all there is to distinguish us from the other animals.
16767 Driving in Texas is simple.  For the first 100 miles you swerve to
16774 seen."  His companion was surprised to see nothing more alarming than a
16791 Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!
16812 Due to a shortage of devoted followers, the production of great leaders
16815 Due to circumstances beyond your control, you are master of your fate
16818 Due to lack of disk space, this fortune database has been
16834 Q:	"Do you feel that a person's age affects his ability to
16836 Reagan:	"I refuse to make an issue out of my opponent's youth and
16839 During the voyage of life, remember to keep an eye out for a
16843 Dustin Farnum:	Why, yesterday, I had the audience glued to their seats!
16844 Oliver Herford:	Wonderful!  Wonderful!  Clever of you to think of it!
16851 Dying is a very dull, dreary affair.  My advice to you is to have
16852 nothing whatever to do with it.
16870 Each of these cults correspond to one of the two antagonists in the age of
16883 competition; if you want to use computer programs that conform to Apple's
16890 Each person has the right to take part in the management of public affairs
16891 in his country, provided he has prior experience, a will to succeed, a
16895 Each person has the right to take the subway.
16922 	nurture and feed the dog.  The dog will be there to bite the
16926 Early to bed and early to rise and you'll
16929 Early to rise and early to bed makes
16946 Easiest Color to Solve on a Rubik's Cube:
16949 the plastic underneath -- black.  According to the instructions, this
16959 But I'm goin' to heaven in a flash of fire,
16975 will happen to you the rest of the day.
16977 [Well, actually, to either of you...  Ed.]
16994 	a certain amount of computer power, it is much better to buy one
17002 	personality to become an accountant.
17005 would turn up by the last quarter.  Well, I'm down to mine and it
17009 Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a
17010 percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.
17022 Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to
17036 to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters
17041 Eeny, Meeny, Jelly Beanie, the spirits are about to speak!
17044 Eggheads unite!  You have nothing to lose but your yolks.
17057 Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain
17097 Sits at the keyboard and waits for a line on the screen
17129 Pour in fruit to desired taste, and to absorb any excess alcohol.
17130 Mix in some cold water to dilute the alcohol and make it easier to eat for
17132 Refrigerate overnight to allow mixture to fully harden. (About 8-12 hours.)
17148 	A mouse built to government specifications.
17150 Elevators smell different to midgets.
17158 	lead to a significant decrease in system resolution lost.  However,
17159 	of course, this all means jack when you listen to Pink Floyd.
17161 Eli and Bessie went to sleep.
17198 I turn again, back to my own beginning,
17203 of the Scientologist.  May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.
17217 in common use.  Prior to Wilson and Magruder's historic discovery, the nature
17221 conclusively that the mammalian brain is hardwired to interpret a set of
17223 was shown to reside in 1 million Q-registers as Huffman coded uppercase-only
17230 	To tamper with an image, usually to its detriment.
17240 Entropy isn't what it used to be.
17250 	instead of having to try and acquire one.
17266 	"Ever since they threatened to fire me."
17280 Established technology tends to persist in the face of new technology.
17285 Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
17288 Eternity is a terrible thought.  I mean, where's it going to end?
17296 were hard for the public to believe.  The term "etymology" was formed
17298 ("study of").  It meant "the study of things that are hard to swallow."
17305 Eudaemonic research proceeded with the casual mania peculiar to this part of
17306 the world.  Nude sunbathing on the back deck was combined with phone calls to
17310 Packard's cousin, David, presided as chairman of the board. The trick was to
17311 make these calls at noon, in the hope that out-to-lunch executives would return
17315 they were talking on the other end of the line to a naked physicist crazed
17334 Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.
17337 Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
17338 speak it to?
17358 Than in these parts a man is apt to see,
17364 Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.
17385 Ever notice that even the busiest people are never too busy to tell you
17395 We can't fail for all can see, that to serve humanity
17400 And new fields we're sure to conquer, too
17405 We're bound for the top to never fall,
17418 From Berkeley down to Rutgers,		He's on my favorite terminal,
17427 There has to be a twist.
17438 Ever since prehistoric times, wise men have tried to understand what,
17443 take her right now.  No.  How about:  Would you like to take something?
17466 Ever wondered about the origins of the term "bugs" as applied to computer
17479 them to my 1945 log book, now in the collection of the Naval Surface Weapons
17480 Center, and they found the remains of that moth taped to the page in
17483 		regard to problems with radio hardware.  Ed.]
17496 Every creature has within him the wild, uncontrollable urge to punt.
17500 Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
17503 Every dog has its day, but the nights belong to the pussycats.
17505 Every four seconds a woman has a baby.  Our problem is to find this
17510 sometimes hard to remember this in the bulk of the flamewars that all
17530 legs.  Now to show this for the general case, suppose that somewhere,
17549 Every man is apt to form his notions of things difficult to be apprehended,
17550 or less familiar, from their analogy to things which are more familiar.
17551 Thus, if a man bred to the seafaring life, and accustomed to think and talk
17552 only of matters relating to navigation, enters into discourse upon any other
17553 subject; it is well known, that the language and the notions proper to his
17555 by the rules of navigation: and if he should take it into his head to
17572 Every man who has reached even his intellectual teens begins to suspect
17578 		-- Henry James Sr., writing to his sons Henry and William
17580 Every man who is high up likes to think that he has done
17585 richest people in America.  If I'm not there, I go to work.
17590 It knows it must outrun the slowest gazelle or it will starve to death.
17601 	With lots of toys and things to eat,
17611 start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and
17612 then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the
17617 But you do have to understand body language to know when they're lying and
17633 drawn them there.  What you choose to do with them is up to you.
17638 program can be reduced to one instruction which doesn't work.
17648 eating paper and a policeman was at the door.  Now all you have to do is
17659 Every suicide is a solution to a problem.
17668 Every time you manage to close the door on
17677 Every young man should have a hobby: learning how to handle money is
17685 and cajoled, but to no avail.  Sam said the plan would never pay off.
17688 a pen.  I want you to sign the papers.  I'm sorry, but if you don't sign,
17693 	"Well, sir," replied Sam, "nobody explained it to me quite so
17696 Everybody has something to conceal.
17700 if you want to use yours for growing hair, that's fine with me.
17714 Everybody talking to their pockets.  Everybody wants a box of chocolates
17720 you just had to meet without your clothes.  And everybody knows.
17723 And everybody knows that you live forever when you've done a line or two.
17734 Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
17736 Everyone can be taught to sculpt: Michelangelo would have had
17737 to be taught how not to.  So it is with the great programmers.
17743 Everyone is a genius.  It's just that some people are too stupid to
17746 Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
17758 existence has been so amply demonstrated, there is no need for us to
17768 Everyone wants results, but no one is willing to do what it takes
17769 to get them.
17779 I tell 'em to pick two and call me back.
17784 Everything bows to success, even grammar.
17796 Everything is controlled by a small evil group to which, unfortunately,
17835 rare story of which you happen to have first-hand knowledge.
17839 obvious as you begin to study the universe.  For example, there are no
17866 Evil is that which one believes of others.  It is a sin to believe evil
17870 Evolution is a million line computer
17876 doubt it, it is customary for scientists to call it a fact.  That all present
17879 respect to theories about how the process operates.
17882 Examinations are formidable even to the best prepared, for even
17894 Excellent day to have a rotten day.
17896 Excellent time to become a missing person.
17910 - none of these should have made it to customers.  BUT you could loosen the
17911 screws and lift system board at fan end while powering on to see if OCP
17925 Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do
17950 Experience is not what happens to you;
17951 it is what you do with what happens to you.
17961 Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old
17985 to a 3x5 inch index card.  (c) Also cut out the "No" paragraph (lower
17986 left hand corner of Prize Claim Form) and affix it to the 3x5 card
17992 disqualified], and mail to: CVP, Box 1320, Westbury, NY 11595.  Print
17999 that contradict well-established research turn out to be artifacts.  I have
18022 F. Scott Fitzgerald to Hemingway:
18037 Factorials were someone's attempt to make math LOOK exciting.
18047 Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
18051 	In September 1978 Mr. Terry Gripton, of Stafford, failed to break
18055 	In August of the same year Mr. Paul Anthony failed to break the
18060 	In January 1976 Mr. Barry McQueen failed to walk backwards across
18063 	A TV cameraman thwarted Mr. Bob Specas' attempt to topple 100,000
18070 Fain would I climb, yet fear I to fall.
18074 	A horror story to prepare children for the newspapers.
18079 ought to be according to tradition and the scriptures.  It is
18083 Faith is the quality that enables you to eat blackberry jam on a picnic
18084 without looking to see whether the seeds move.
18090 	That quality which enables us to
18091 	believe what we know to be untrue.
18096 	seem to have shinnied up a rope and vanished.
18104 good idea to check with your doctor.
18108 You never get to do it enough to become good at it.
18130 Want it to be intelligent.
18146 	1. Don't unplug it, it will just take a moment to fix.
18152 	7. They'd never (be stupid enough to) make him a manager.
18166 from Alpha Centauri.  And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty
18167 deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before -- and thus
18169 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
18171 Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
18179 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
18185 Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter
18200 Fat Liberation: because a waist is a terrible thing to mind.
18202 Fat people of the world unite, we've got nothing to lose!
18205 Son:	Sure, Dad, what do you want to know?
18209 Fay: The British police force used to be run by men of integrity.
18227 	a feature!"  A bug can be changed to a feature by documenting it.
18242 Contribute to your hunting skills and natural defenses.
18246 For a rhythmic stroking of your fur to demonstrate affection.
18249 And when not being utilized to aid in locomotion,
18250 It often serves to illustrate the state of your emotion.
18255 		-- Lt. Cmdr. Data, "An Ode to Spot"
18259 to ten of your friends.  Before you make the copies, send a chip or
18260 other bit of hardware, and 100 lines of "C" code to the first person on the
18262 yours to the bottom of the list.
18265 Diego failed to send out his ten copies and woke the next morning to find
18266 his job description changed to "COBOL programmer."  Fred A. of New York sent
18267 out his ten copies and within a month had enough hardware and software to
18268 build a Cray dedicated to playing Zork.  Martha H. of Chicago laughed at
18292 Fess:	What, the ability to form imaginary constructs?
18293 Rod:	No, the ability to get hung up on them.
18296 Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
18300 	A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
18315 there is nothing important to do.
18342 	someone is always willing to fake it.
18346 	is always eager to misinterpret it.
18350 	it happened according to his pet theory.
18360 	anything done to improve it only makes it worse.
18370 someone eager to (a) misinterpret it, (b) fake it, or (c) believe it
18371 happened according to his own pet theory.
18383 	   don't want to hear, will see it immediately.
18397 Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
18399 Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
18408 Mail your answer along with the top half of your supervisor to:
18418 Basically, a tool is an object that enables you to take advantage of
18420 injure yourself.  Today, people tend to take tools for granted.  If
18453 	First, tell 'em what you're goin' to tell 'em;
18458 But the south-east Victorian town of Sale has produced one to top them all.
18463 	Not firmly convinced about the caller's claim to sobriety, members of
18464 the constabulary drove to the scene, expecting to pick up a drunk.
18466 	The wombat, determined not to be had the better of again, threw its
18473 	But on their way back to the station they happened to pass another
18476 and after questioning, released him to be charged on summons.
18487 trees to prove their manhood.
18494 Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime.
18497 Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
18500 Five names that I can hardly stand to hear,
18509 	Transistor and a large sum of money to spend...
18521 were each asked to write a book on elephants.  Some amount of time later they
18523 "The Elephant -- How to Collect Them", the Russian's "The Elephant -- Vol. I",
18524 the American's "The Elephant -- How to Make Money from Them", the Frenchman's
18529 	1) Always try to exhort others to look upon you favorably.
18530 	2) Make lots of assumptions about situations and be sure to
18536 	5) Occasionally stomp on yourself for being so stupid as to
18556 Flattery is like cologne -- to be smelled, but not swallowed.
18568 the least bit difficult to write bad programs.
18570 Florence Flask was ... dressing for the opera when she turned to her
18591 	[From flow "to ripple down in rich profusion, as hair" + chart
18592 "a cryptic hidden-treasure map designed to mislead the uninitiated."]
18593 1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
18605 	When you need to knock on wood is when you realize that the
18608 Fly me away to the bright side of the moon ...
18614 	Show themselves to human eyes.
18620 	of automobiles; used on dry, clear nights to indicate that the
18623 Follow me around.  I don't care.  I'm serious.  If anybody wants to put a
18637 a spectator to sit out in the open in subfreezing weather?
18643 Football is a game designed to keep coal miners off the streets.
18655 For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a
18663 The few have appealed to reason, to honor, to law, to freedom, to the
18664 known, and to happiness here in this world. The many have appealed to
18665 prejudice, to fear, to miracle, to slavery, to the unknown, and to
18671 For an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be
18683 there's half a dozen waiting to rub it out.
18698 you also want to use \skip12 for horizontal glue, whether in math mode or
18708 For flavor, instant sex will never supersede the stuff you have to peel
18712 For fools rush in where angels fear to tread.
18721 For God's sake, stop researching for a while and begin to think!
18730 but with break of day I went to make supplication.
18734 As for to fight in quarrel right or wrong,
18736 He ought himself for to make sure and strong,
18737 Just to keep mixt with mercy among:
18738 And no quarrel a knight ought to take
18744 For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble:
18748 For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to
18756 For my son, Robert, this is proving to be the high-point of his entire
18757 life to date.  He has had his pajamas on for two, maybe three days
18761 the strength to object.  He has been foraging for his own food, which
18773 		-- Sir Arthur Sullivan, message to Edison, 1888
18788 		-- Sandra Gotlieb, wife of the Canadian ambassador to the U.S.
18803 	 referring to system overview.]
18820 	 referring to powerfail recovery.]
18833 And all, but Lust, is turned to dust
18844 For thirty years a certain man went to spend every evening with Mme. ___.
18846 him to do so.  "No, no," he said: "if I did, where should I have to
18850 For those of you who have been unfortunate enough to never have tasted the
18851 'Great Chieftain O' the Pudden Race' (i.e. haggis) here is an easy to follow
18852 recipe which results in a dish remarkably similar to the above mentioned
18867 salt, pepper and stock to moisten.  Pack the mixture into bag, allowing for
18870 four to five hours.
18875 For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but
18879 For what it's worth, if you -can- get Michelle Pfeiffer to model
18939 which is easier to parse using ad hoc techniques.
18955 too clumsy, too risky, and too expensive to use.
18966 of UFO skeptics to prove that a UFO has never existed, nor is it the
18967 responsibility of paranormal-health-claims skeptics to prove that crystals
18968 or colored lights never healed anyone.  The skeptic's role is to point out
18969 claims that are not adequately supported by acceptable evidence and to
18982 	my dissertation to rhyme.
19001 	A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the
19016 refers to it as "that time when me and Suzie were doing it on a semi-regular
19018 	When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to
19023 wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I'll never forgive you, and I
19024 hate you, and you're a total floozy.  But I want you to know that there's
19027 community colleges that offer courses to help men get over this need; alas,
19076 them to use, hoping they'll become more comfortable with age.
19078 They exercise precautions to avoid contamination by last year's fashions.
19083 	The average woman would really like to be told if her mate is fooling
19096 him from trying to out-accelerate the guy in the Porsche who's attempting
19097 to cut him off; freeway on-ramps are exciting challenges to see who has The
19101 	A woman will slow down to let a car merge in front of her, and get
19102 rear-ended by another woman who was busy adding the finishing touches to
19111 would not be able to identify most of these items.
19114 	A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store
19124 	When a man says he is ready to go out, it means he is ready to go
19125 out.  When a woman says she is ready to go out, it means she WILL be ready
19126 to go out, as soon as she finds her earring, finishes putting on her makeup,
19127 checks on the kids, makes a phone call to her best friend...
19146 of clothes to the laundromat.  Men always expect to meet beautiful women at
19153 refer to each other as Bullet-Head, Godzilla, Peanut Brain and Useless.
19167 	fit to be sold.  Wacky events ensue until the gripping climax in
19175 	another charge toward GO, only to senselessly lose his life on the
19184 	tends to overact as aardvark, but Alec Guinness is solid in
19192 	tries to make it big on Broadway.  Santa sings and dances his way
19200 	run from corrupt officials.  He is wounded and then nursed back to
19208 	forced to work at a nuclear power plant in order to help the family
19210 	of her colorful past, and the family uses her to cook barbecues
19211 	and to power small electrical appliances.  Maureen Stapleton gives
19225 	frantically pushing and shoving to get out of theatres where "Out of
19226 	Africa" is showing.  Many people are trampled to death in the frenzy.
19227 	Due to its violence and offensive language, not recommended for
19234 	appliance, which invites them to play.  The Smurfs learn a valuable
19239 	Smurfs team up with the Care Bears to encounter a cute, lovable piece
19248 	everything from "timeless" to "endless."  (Remade by Gene
19254 supported by reason and authority that positive testimony is entitled to
19265 seems to us that someone has been very careless.
19271 may imply some feeling of endearment when applied to a female of the canine
19272 species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used when applied to a female
19281 	Mumbles inaudibly when attempting to speak.  Talks to self.
19286 	the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.
19307 	Usually manages to put on socks before shoes.  Can match the
19314 	reviewee has been appointed to the critical position of department
19318 	A true inspiration to others.  ("There, but for the grace of God,
19321 Adapts to stress:
19327 	to meet them.
19354 	Shall I compare thee to a Summer day?
19359 	Birds of a feather flock to a newly washed car.
19364 	It's nothing, honey.  Go back to sleep.
19368 	A word to the wise is often enough to start an argument.
19394 ^Cu necesas ke vi eliras?		Do you really have to be going?
19426 A:	To be or not to be.
19456 	"Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!"
19469 	date me					(anything up to 4.3BSD)
19474 	sleep with me				(anything up to 4.3BSD)
19477 sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
19482 Fortune's Contribution of the Month to the Animal Rights Debate:
19518 1:  Richard Simmons gets paid to exercise like a lunatic.  You don't.
19525 6.  Next to burying bones, the thing a dog enjoys most is tripping joggers.
19542 Before you start, sample the rum to check for quality.  Good, isn't it?  Now
19555 Mix mell.  Grease oven and turn cake pan to 350 gredees and rake until
19588 In Memphis, Tennessee, it is illegal for a woman to drive a car unless
19590 flag to warn approaching motorists and pedestrians.
19593 	According to Kentucky state law, every person must take a bath
19599 can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.
19612 	Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa.
19617 right to turn around and blow a Bronx cheer at them.
19621 	Idaho state law makes it illegal for a man to give his sweetheart
19635 	A Hall of Fame opened to honor outstanding members of the
19639 What to do...
19641 	Hope this one doesn't happen to you.  There isn't much that you
19645     traveling machine, and has come from the future to meet you?
19647 	Don't forget to invent a time traveling machine and visit your
19649 	expect this to be tricky, make sure to ask for the principles
19654 What to do...
19656 	Speak slowly and be sure to enunciate your words properly.  Limit
19657 	your vocabulary to simple words.  Try to determine if you are
19658 	speaking to someone in a leadership capacity, or an ordinary citizen.
19661 	Hang up.  There's no sense in trying to learn Martian over the phone.
19662 	If your Martian really had something important to say to you, he, she
19663 	or it would have taken the trouble to learn the language before
19667 	Explain to your caller, politely but firmly, that being from Jupiter,
19668 	he, she or it is not "life as we know it".  Try to terminate the
19673 What to do...
19678 	they can probably vaporize you, should they find you to be rude.
19679 	Direct them to the White House lawn, which is where they probably
19680 	wanted to land, anyway.  A good road map should help.
19684 	Don't walk in.  You almost certainly will not be able to get back,
19686 	and go back to bed.  Close the door first, so that the cat does not
19690 Fortune's Guide to Freshman Notetaking:
19699 'Paradise Lost' being said to be the greatest
19702 Current historians have come to			Most of the problems that now
19704 of some of Roosevelt's policies...		directly traceable to the
19714 with a club.  The provisions of this statute shall not apply to females
19716 apply to female horses.
19719 goes to Representative Clare E. Hoffman of Michigan.  During an impassioned
19720 House debate over a proposed bill to "expand oyster and clam research," a
19725 	  having to artificially propagate oysters and clams."
19731 Hoffman: "Wait a minute!  I do not want to go into that.  There are many
19740 	Tired of finding that other people are helping themselves to
19743 drinkable to be in a bottle which has a candle stuck in its neck.
19759 THE JUDGE: Now, as we begin, I must ask you to banish all present
19778 A:  Attached to the ears.
19782 Q:  When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were
19783     able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to
19785     him to the station?
19804 A:  He told me, he says, "I have to kill you because you can identify
19812 the last few years, we are now able to completely understand everything that
19813 the author of a memo is trying to say.  Thanks to modern developments
19819 the memo in question, but have absolutely nothing of substance to say, then
19825 	3: When replying to one of your own memos.
19837 Four be the things I am wiser to know:
19854 Four hours to bury the cat?
19858 ingeniously on behalf of any theory, applied to any piece of literature.
19867 	Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except
19871 	It is usually impractical to worry beforehand about
19879 Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a
19885 Fraud is the homage that force pays to reason.
19891 Freedom begins when you tell Mrs. Grundy to go fly a kite.
19893 Freedom from incrustation of grime is contiguous to rectitude.
19895 Freedom is nothing else but the chance to do better.
19903 Freedom of the press is for those who happen to own one.
19905 Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
19908 Fremen add life to spice!
19929 I come to put down Caesar, not to groove him.
19937 Come I to make this gig at Caesar's laying down.
19948 	To manipulate or adjust, to tweak.  Derived from FROBNITZ.
19949 Usually abbreviated to FROB.  Thus one has the saying "to frob a
19960 	An unspecified physical object, a widget.  Also refers to
19961 electronic black boxes.  This rare form is usually abbreviated to
19962 FROTZ, or more commonly to FROB.  Also used are FROBNULE, FROBULE, and
19964 FROBBOTZIM, has also become very popular, largely due to its exposure
19966 applied to non-physical objects, such as data structures.
19968 From 0 to "what seems to be the problem officer" in 8.3 seconds.
19977 	Fixes a bug that causes a panic due to software error
19989 president, political party, etc.) to consummate the act of social
19994 	"Non stop trains to Roma Termini Station leave from 7.38
19995 	 a.m. to 10.08 p.m., hourly."
19999 From the cradle to the coffin underwear comes first.
20010 		-- The Piranha Club Anthem, to the tune of "De Camptown Races"
20027 And as a matter of course, the final goal is just simply to help
20035 	October 14 as World Standards Day to recognize those
20036 	volunteers who have worked hard to define international
20044 	if we were to "listen" to one spacecraft in the outer solar
20046 	all the signal we collected, it would be enough power to
20056 	5.  Turn the handle to the right 90 degrees.  The pin-spreading
20065 That even the weariest river winds somewhere safe to sea.
20070 	enough to travel.
20085 	The name California was given to the state by Spanish conquistadores.
20095 	Having to wander through a maze of ropes at an airport or bank
20096 	even when you are the only person in line.
20110 G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy.  One
20111 of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his
20113 `No,' he will say, `Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish.' And
20118 	there is no need to do so, almost everybody gets busy on the proof.
20123 	An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her
20127 Gauls! We have nothing to fear; except perhaps that the sky may fall on
20131 Gay shlafen: Yiddish for "go to sleep".
20134 than the harsh, staccato "go to sleep"?  Listen to the difference:
20135 	"Go to sleep, you little wretch!" ... "Gay shlafen, darling."
20137 	Clearly the best thing you can do for you children is to start
20139 long as you live.  This will, of course, entail teaching Yiddish to all
20141 so on, but that's just the point.  It has to start with committed
20143 	Some minor adjustments will have to be made, of course: those
20145 everything is written in Yiddish.  And we'll have to start driving on
20147 backwards.  But is that too high a price to pay for world peace?  I
20149 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
20152 	A day to take the initiative.  Put the garbage out, for
20159 because you are bisexual.  However, you are inclined to expect too much
20163 GEMINI (May 21 to Jun. 20)
20167 trip is in the stars, possibly to the men's room.
20170 	The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
20177 	who did not particularly care to trace his own.
20196 	Person clever enough to be born in the right place at the right
20197 	time of the right sex and to follow up this advantage by saying
20198 	all the right things to all the right people.
20224 	Whilst marching from Portugal to a position which commands the approach
20225 to Madrid and the French forces, my officers have been diligently complying
20226 with your requests which have been sent by H.M. ship from London to Lisbon and
20227 thence by dispatch to our headquarters.
20235 confusion as to the number of jars of raspberry jam issued to one cavalry
20237 may be related to the pressure of circumstance, since we are war with France, a
20238 fact which may come as a bit of a surprise to you gentlemen in Whitehall.
20239 	This brings me to my present purpose, which is to request elucidation of
20246 	2. To see to it that the forces of Napoleon are driven out of Spain.
20247 		-- Duke of Wellington, to the British Foreign Office,
20252 		   the Black Chamber, the precursor to the National
20258 George Bernard Shaw once sent two tickets to the opening night of one of
20259 his plays to Winston Churchill with the following note:
20271 George Washington was first in war, first in peace -- and the first to
20272 have his birthday juggled to make a long weekend.
20280 No one believed him, and they proceeded to place bets against the dog.
20296 	3) The energy required to change either one of these states
20297 	   will always be more than you wish to expend, but never so
20298 	   much as to make the task totally impossible.
20305 Get Revenge!  Live long enough to be a problem for your children!
20322 Gibson's Springtime Song (to the tune of "Deck the Halls"):
20324 'Tis the season to chase mousies (Fa la la la la, la la la la)
20340 	Any attempt to use the new super glues results in the two pieces
20341 	sticking to your thumb and index finger rather than to each other.
20366 	Every major philosophy that attempts to make life seem
20376 	big toe will pop out of your sock to see what's going on.
20381 Teach a man to fish, and he'll invite himself over for dinner.
20395 Teach me to fish and I will eat forever.
20398 to stand, and I will drain the world.
20419 Your huddled writers yearning to breathe free,
20421 Give these, the homeless, typist-tossed to me.
20425 Give thought to your reputation.
20426 Consider changing your name and moving to a new town.
20438 Given its constituency, the only thing I expect to be "open" about [the
20451 Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and
20452 car keys to teenage boys.
20457 machine now permits LISP programmers to abandon bra and fig-leaf.
20488 	N.B. Aquavit may be hard to find and expensive to boot.  Use it only
20489 if you really have a deep-seated desire to be fussy, or if you are of Swedish
20493 	A person who leaves all his ski passes on his jacket just to
20510 Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
20512 Go not to the elves for counsel, for they will say both yes and no.
20516 		-- Cadmus, to Pentheus, in "The Bacchae" by Euripides
20522 Go slowly to the entertainments of thy friends,
20523 but quickly to their misfortunes.
20526 Go to a movie tonight.
20529 Go to the Scriptures... the joyful promises it contains will be a balsam to
20534 teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith
20535 in these teachings would cease to be practically universal in our country.
20577 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
20579 God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to
20580 change the things we can, and wisdom to know the difference.
20582 God has intended the great to be great and the little to be little ...
20584 not mean to say that a dollar a day is enough to support a workingman
20585 ... not enough to support a man and five children if he insists on
20587 water is not fit to live!  A family may live on good bread and water in
20592 God help the troubadour who tries to be a star.  The more
20593 that you try to find success, the more that you will fail.
20608 God is a comic playing to an audience that's afraid to laugh.
20640 God isn't dead.  He just doesn't want to get involved.
20674 A monitor called RSuX			We'll have to print your files on
20675 It takes nine hundred K.		The line printer instead.
20680 And now we'd like to say to you		CHORUS:	Oh, tidings of comfort and joy,
20682 We hope the news we've brought to you		Oh, tidings of comfort and joy.
20686 		-- to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen
20692 God said it, I believe it and that's all there is to it.
20697 to receive it.
20706 	By the time you get to the point where you can make ends meet,
20711 Going to church does not make a person religious, nor does going to
20712 school make a person educated, any more than going to a garage makes a
20717 is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who
20719 hasn't done anything to them.
20745 	A husband and wife forget to register their gift preferences.
20757 Good advice is one of those insults that ought to be forgiven.
20759 Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad
20770 Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to school.
20772 Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to work.
20774 Good day to deal with people in high places;
20777 Good day to let down old friends who need help.
20781 ninety-five.  My supervisor was Mr. Langley, and he taught me to sing a
20786 Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.
20789 those who govern.  The machinery of government is always subordinate to the
20802 Good morning.  This is the telephone company.  Due to repairs, we're
20816 Good night to spend with family, but avoid arguments with your mate's
20852 Got a dictionary?  I want to know the meaning of life.
20865 We fell in love, I knew it had to end.
20869 Everybody needs a place to rest,
20870 Everybody wants to have a home.
20872 Ain't nobody likes to be alone.
20879 	A programming tool that exists to allow structured programmers
20880 	to complain about unstructured programmers.
20884 	Anyone whom, when you fail to finish something strange or
20903 	There is an exception to all laws.
20905 Governor Tarkin.  I should have expected to find you holding Vader's
20911 	2 is not equal to 3 -- not even for large values of 2.
20925 	You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
20927 	[I thought it was when your kids learned to drive.  Ed.]
20937 He allows things to come and go.
20941 	A creature that can leap to tremendous heights... once.
20954 	'n+1' trivial tasks are expected to be
20957 Logg's Rebuttal to Gray's Law:
20970 On November 13, Felix Unger was asked to remove himself from his
20979 Pancake make-up is invented; most people continue to prefer syrup.
21005 	Eighty percent of all people consider themselves to be above
21010 Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full
21011 value of a joy you must have somebody to divide it with.
21022 Grig:	I've always wanted to fight a desperate battle against
21038 Grownups are reluctant to take science fiction seriously, and with good
21041 disguised.  Aliens have tentacles.  Telepathy allows you to have sex without
21043 meals.  No one ever has to grow old -- body parts are replaceable, like
21045 adult world, it's simply not there; political systems tend to be naively
21061 	occurring is inversely proportional to its desirability.
21069 	     is directly proportional to the temperature of your coffee.
21079 	phone call you are about to receive from your boss.
21085 	A wheel or disk mounted to spin rapidly about an axis and also
21086 free to rotate about one or both of two axes perpendicular to each
21088 mutually perpendicular axes results from application of torque to the
21090 offers considerable opposition depending on the angular momentum to any
21116 philosopher Frisbee Frobenius to the common usage, "hack".
21118 of coding that happened to work well, culpable programmers would gather in
21120 and proceed to get very drunk while sporadically rending the following ditty:
21127 		Always gets his stuff to work!
21141 "Blend all together until creamy with no lumps."  This is where you get to
21144 	and icky looking and you have to work hard to mix it.  Try an electric
21145 	beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
21148 	just happened to have a GCC sitting around under /etc/food, right?
21157 nation to action is one of mankind's oldest illusions.
21166 Hacking's just another word for nothing left to kludge.
21170 We should have sat us down to wet	And staring face to face,
21181 Or help to half-a-crown.
21189 	 referring to operating system initialization.]
21194 Hail to the sun god
21205 	When you are ready to reply to a letter, you will lack at least
21213 But half the bee has got to be, vis-a-vis its entity.  See?
21214 But can a bee be said to be or not to be an entire bee,
21215 When half the bee is not a bee, due to some ancient injury?
21221 Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't,
21222 and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
21225 	This is the best way to eat a kosher dill -- when it's still
21229 	You may find it difficult to find a good half-done kosher dill
21230 there in Seattle, so what you should do is take a cab out to the
21231 airport, fly to New York, take the JFK Express to Jay Street-Borough
21232 Hall, transfer to an uptown F, get off at East Broadway, walk north on
21234 about fifteen steps, turn ninety degrees left, and stop.  Say to the
21237 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
21258 	A process employed by hostile hardware devices to initiate a
21269 	Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by
21314 	The quality of your own data; also how it is to believe those
21330 He likes to take their insides out
21342 Harp not on that string.
21347 	increases in direct proportion to the softness of the bread.
21351 	"Have you got a spoon there?" says Harris; "I want a spoon to help
21353 	The hamper was close behind us, and George and I both turned round to
21358 on the water side of him, and he would have had to climb over us to do it.
21360 	"Has he been snatched up to heaven?" I queried.
21365 to the commonplace and practicable, "that there has been an earthquake."
21371 	Experience is directly proportional to the amount of equipment ruined.
21387 took his hat off, and waited for the entire procession to pass.  As soon as
21390 waiting for the funeral to pass like that."
21397 makes us all go to Assateague, which is an island on the Atlantic Ocean
21401 enormous hooved rats.  They amble up to your camp site, and their
21402 attitude is: "We're wild horses.  We're going to eat your food, knock
21409 sugar is for pep.  They put in the rum so that people will know what to do
21413 	You can lead a horse to water, but if you can
21414 	get him to float on his back, you've got something.
21429 	Sophomore Dave Strewzinski... likes to pass.  And pass he does, with
21431 has so far failed to score any points for the Crimson, his jackrabbit speed
21436 fast.  Expect to see Yip elude all pursuers and make it into the endzone five
21438 asshole" by his teammates, hopes to carry the ball with him at least one of
21442 	On the defensive side, Yale boasts the stingiest line in the Ivies.
21444 Finklestein, the tightest ends in recent Eli history.  Also contributing to
21446 out the offensive ethnic joke.  Look for these three to shut down the opening
21454 keyboard was designed, among other things, to facilitate the even use
21459 appear to be unqualifiedly ratty, raffish, sordid, obscene and low down,
21461 not forget its high capacity to soothe and tickle the midriff, its
21471 	"Goodness had nothin' to do with it, dearie."
21485 	A sentiment appropriate to the occasion of another's
21507 Have no friends not equal to yourself.
21511 to defuse project tensions?  When did you ever see a cheerful cookie, a
21516 only serves to blunt the warning signs.
21521 Have the courage to take your own thoughts
21537 So here I am, Pickering, a confirmed old bachelor and very likely to
21541 Have you ever noticed that the people who are always trying to tell
21551 they are able to produce "Laverne and Shirley" week after week.
21558 Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a
21579 I'll show you something to make you change your mind...
21586 Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue?
21590 If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
21594 Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper, (super dooper)
21599 If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
21607 in the Antarctic.  She lays the egg, rolls it over to the father,
21611 the little penguin is hatched, the mother sees fit to come home.
21625 Having the fewest wants, I am nearest to the gods.
21629 relieved to see a sturdy Saint Bernard dog bounding toward him with
21630 the traditional keg of brandy strapped to his collar.
21635 	It's not easy to play the clown
21636 	when you've got to run the whole circus.
21641 He:	"If I made love to you, would you yell?"
21642 She:	"What do you want me to yell?"
21645 HE:	Let's end it all, bequeathin' our brains to science.
21658 the people you'd give anything to avoid," he said. "I'm staying home."
21697 said, "there's a conflict between land and people... the people have to go..."
21711 He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
21727 He knows not how to know who knows not also how to unknow.
21736 He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
21740 had fallen to the ground.
21751 	Ponder that first line, wait and see,
21754 	It ought to say: "In the beginning there was Force."
21764 My tears stuck in their little ducts, refusing to be jerked.
21767 His performance is so wooden you want to spray him with Liquid Pledge.
21777 He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
21807 slashing his abdomen with a knife.  Just as the pupil was about to comply,
21819 disintegrated.  Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, "Dust to
21863 He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day.
21873 He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much
21874 a master of the world as he who is ready to die.
21888 He who invents adages for others to peruse
21930 He who laughs last -- missed the punch line.
21936 He who laughs last usually had to have joke explained.
21951 He who renders warfare fatal to all engaged in it will
21963 He who steps on others to reach the top has good balance.
21965 He who walks on burning coals is sure to get burned.
21981 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying
21986 	the absent minded sculptor who put his model to bed and
21990 	the Californian terrorist that tried to blow up a bus?
22004 	he wanted to transcend dental medication?
22013 	company -- the photocopier got drunk and tried to undo the
22024 Heard that the next Space Shuttle is supposed to carry several
22060 Hell, if you don't try to remake someone,
22061 how are they supposed to know you care?
22088 	You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off!
22120 her ways; wishing to be an economist, without contrivance or
22121 regularity; dissatisfied with her servants, without skill to make
22127 Her loving husband's life to save;
22131 But to our modern married fair,
22132 Who'd give their lords to save their hair,
22137 from Presidents and Kings to the scum of the earth...
22148 Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when
22158 Then I turn back to net.flame.
22186 but we must never use it to hurt others unless we need to learn an
22193 collect in your finger, where they form a spark that leaps to your
22194 friend's filling, then travels down to his feet and back into the
22199 finger would explode!  But this is nothing to worry about unless you
22203 Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished:
22207 to probably reliable sources, the Coca-Cola people are experiencing severe
22215 The trouble with this fact, as lovely as it is, is that it's hard to get
22216 a whole column out of it.  I'd like to teach the world to bite a wax
22233 HERE'S A GOOD JOKE to do during an earthquake.  Straddle a big crack in
22235 around as if you're going to fall.
22238 Here's something to think about:  How come you never see a headline
22245 He's been like a father to me,
22256 He's just a politician trying to save both his faces...
22261 his opinion.  It's up to you to cast it into a void or not.
22273 	The rudeness of a bureaucrat is inversely proportional to his or
22274 	her position in the governmental hierarchy and to the number of
22283 And have to pop all the way back.
22289 	Be sure it's true, when you say "I love you".  It's a sin to
22298 Jimbo.  We thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.
22300 Hi!  You have reached 962-0129. None of us are here to answer the phone and
22337 motto is:  "It is very difficult to disprove certain kinds of pain."
22343 Hi there!  This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
22386 	smash our enemies to tiny bits."  And the Lord did grin, and the
22391 	out the holy pin.  Then shalt thou count to three.  No more, no less.
22394 	count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three.  Five is
22414 	It must be very tough to handle weightlessness."
22430 His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
22438 outside.  Yes, cold and therefore difficult to chew...
22441 to drop the Maha- and the -atman, however, and called himself Sam.  He never
22442 claimed to be a god.  But then, he never claimed not to be a god.  Circum-
22454 His great aim was to escape from civilization, and, as soon as he had
22455 money, he went to Southern California.
22467 His super power is to turn into a scotch terrier.
22471 continues to this day.
22476 History has much to say on following the proper procedures.  From a history
22481 shot, except Hildago, because he was a priest.  He was handed over to
22482 the bishop of Durango who excommunicated him and returned him to the
22485 History has the relation to truth that theology has to religion --
22486 i.e. none to speak of.
22500 History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree on.
22512 asunder to appear in new habiliments, as the feeding and growing grub, at
22514 state of Man seems to be terribly distant, but every moult is a step gained.
22521 A semi-meal ain't nuthin' much to want.
22527 A semi-friend ain't nuthin' much to want.
22539 	only while you are trying to staple something.
22542 	If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they
22543 will find an easier way to do it.
22551 our dehumanization due to high technology and unresponsive governmental
22552 structures in a post-industrial world.  She/he (the artist prefers to
22553 remain without gender) strives to create dialogue between viewer and
22554 creator, to aid us in our quest to experience contemporary life with its
22556 class-based stress.  The works are arranged to lead us to the essence of
22558 sapped the strength of our voices and must be destroyed for society to
22562 	Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.
22567 	The grand act of a dying institution is to issue a newly
22580 -- One of the prisoners sneaks out of camp (one shot for each prisoner to go).
22581 -- Colonel Klink snaps to attention after answering the phone (two shots
22583 -- One of the Germans is threatened with being sent to the Russian front.
22589 -- The prisoners listen to the Germans' conversation by a hidden transmitter.
22612 Home is the place where, when you have to go there,
22613 they have to take you in.
22618 Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a
22619 cage is to a cockatoo.
22636 Honesty pays, but it doesn't seem to pay enough to suit some people.
22654 bodies, it is customary to mention all members as honorable; as, "the
22669 Hoping to goodness is not theologically sound.
22708 How apt the poor are to be proud.
22723 thoughts are a dream; or whether we are awake, and talking to one another
22734 How come financial advisors never seem to be as wealthy as they
22743 How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards
22744 in reasoning, and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?
22752 Which is not to damn the forested China of touching.
22757 A glamour sufficient to our long marvelous dying.
22764 of deliberate ignorance of each to allow the dreaming.
22770 to blowing woods.  From woods to jungle.  Persimmon.
22771 To light.  From light to princess.  From princess to woman
22774 indecent and still, to speak to her without habit.
22778 		-- Jack Gilbert, "Don Giovanni on his way to Hell"
22782 How do you explain school to a higher intelligence?
22790 How cheerfully he seems to grin,
22801 How patiently it seems to run
22804 	Tear all their clothes to rags.
22806 How is the world ruled, and how do wars start?  Diplomats tell lies to
22810 How kind of you to be willing to live someone's life for them.
22812 How many "coming men" has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
22815 "How many hors d'oeuvres you are allowed to take off a tray being
22830 How much does it cost to entice a dope-smoking UNIX system guru to
22837 How much for your women?  I want to buy your
22849 How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
22854 How to become a sysop:
22860 How to Raise Your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
22892 not using their religious clout with wisdom.  They are trying to force
22897 that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and
22898 "D."  Just who do they think they are?  And from where do they presume to
22899 claim the right to dictate their moral beliefs to me?  And I am even more
22901 who thinks it has some God-granted right to control my vote on every roll
22903 of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans
22908 that the House recede from its disagreement to the Senate amendment making
22909 changes in the bill to reduce fiscal 1986 deficits.  The Senate amendment
22910 was an amendment to the House amendment to the Senate amendment to the House
22911 amendment to the Senate amendment to the bill.  The original Senate amendment
22912 was the conference agreement on the bill.  Agreed to.
22926 Human beings were created by water to transport it uphill.
22929 Ignoring his department chief, and tying his assistant to an operating
22930 table to prevent her interference, he placed a urethral catheter into
22931 a vein in his arm, advanced it to the right atrium [of his heart], and
22932 walked upstairs to the x-ray department where he took the confirmatory
22952 Hummingbirds never remember the words to songs.
22954 Humor is a drug which it's the fashion to abuse.
22962 jungle!  We've had quite enough of you bellowing bungle!  And I'm here to
22967 You're going to be roped!  And you're going to be caged!  And, as for your
22982 	to... to... uh.....
22989 	The best way to make a silk purse from a sow's ear is to begin
22992 	If today were half as good as tomorrow is supposed to be, it would
22997 	If you can afford to advertise, you don't need to.
23005 are terrified of the bomb.  But then some people are terrified to be seen
23010 I acted to show my love for Jodie Foster.
23016 I allow the world to live as it chooses,
23017 and I allow myself to live as I choose.
23020 or student to advocate Marxism, socialism, communism, or any other minority
23021 viewpoint -- no matter how distasteful to the majority.
23031 I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.
23034 I always pass on good advice.  It is the only thing to do with it.
23035 It is never any good to oneself.
23041 I always turn to the sports pages first, which record people's
23048 I always will remember --		I was in no mood to trifle;
23050 I went out to shoot some deer		And went out to stalk my prey --
23052 I went and shot the maximum		I tied them to my bumper and
23058 Took away my permit--			And I say, "There's nothin' to it!
23075 		-- Ogden Nash, "Everybody's Mind to Me a Kingdom Is"
23084 I am a man: nothing human is alien to me.
23088 computer to be running Win98.
23105 I am convinced that the truest act of courage is to sacrifice ourselves
23107 is to suffer for others.
23119 I just think about it.  I just went to an art museum where all of the art
23125 you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial
23136 I am more bored than you could ever possibly be.  Go back to work.
23172 I am professionally trained in computer science, which is to say
23176 I am ready to meet my Maker.  Whether my Maker is prepared for the
23180 I am returning this otherwise good typing paper to you because someone
23185 with an option to buy.
23202 sentences that you are sending out in the world to do your work for you are
23220 would be contrary to the political concept of local self-sufficiency.
23225 I attribute my success to intelligence, guts, determination, honesty,
23226 ambition, and having enough money to buy people with those qualities.
23243 wife was sitting on a chair next to the bed, humming softly and watching
23244 the late afternoon sun filtering through the trees.  The only sounds to
23246 to boil, and an occasional schoolchild passing beneath our window.  And
23258 how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom
23259 to vote -- where no church or church school is granted any public funds or
23276 thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the
23280 I belong to no organized party.  I am a Democrat.
23297 		-- Princess Diana, to a one-armed war veteran during
23298 		   a visit to a London veterans hospital
23302 I braved the contempt of my friends last week and ventured out to see
23303 Bambi, the Disney rerelease that is proving to be a hit once again in the
23304 box office.  I was looking forward to a gentle, soothing, late afternoon
23306 psycho-sexual return to the horrors of early adolescence, it couldn't be
23308 sense of security and comfort.  Birds twitter; small rabbits turn out to
23310 as an absent father, but Mom's there to make you feel OK in the odd
23328 I came out of twelve years of college and I didn't even know how to sew.
23332 I came to MIT to get an education for myself and a diploma for my mother.
23343 I can hire one half of the working class to kill the other half.
23347 and provide temporary relief to nymphomaniacs.
23352 I can relate to that.
23354 I can remember when a good politician had to be 75 percent ability and
23364 He wants to get me.
23365 He wants to hurt me.
23366 He wants to bring me down.
23380 I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
23410 I can't decide whether to commit suicide or go bowling.
23413 I can't die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.
23416 I Can't Get Over You, So I Get Up and Go Around to the Other Side
23430 I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along."
23437 I can't stand this proliferation of paperwork.  It's useless to fight the
23438 forms.  You've got to kill the people producing them.
23440 		   Building Works (near Moscow) in a speech to the Communist
23447 I can't understand why a person will take a year or two to write a
23469 I consider a new device or technology to have been
23470 culturally accepted when it has been used to commit a murder.
23481 I could never learn to like her --
23485 I couldn't possibly fail to disagree with you less.
23494 I should have to believe in it in this one.
23512 to the death your right to tell such LIES!
23514 I distrust a close-mouthed man.  He generally picks the wrong time to talk
23517 you right out, I'm a man who likes talking to a man who likes to talk.
23520 I distrust a man who says when.  If he's got to be careful not to drink
23521 too much, it's because he's not to be trusted when he does.
23529 I do hate sums.  There is no greater mistake than to call arithmetic an
23530 exact science.  There are permutations and aberrations discernible to
23532 accountants fail to discover; hidden laws of number which it requires a
23533 mind like mine to perceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the
23546 and one citizen has as much right to play as another.
23547 		-- Ford Frick, National League President, reacting to a
23555 I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us
23556 with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
23562 I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern,
23564 comes nearest to it of any.
23572 starting from philosophical premises likely to meet with general acceptance,
23573 reached the conclusion that a praiseworthy ordering of one's life is to
23574 devote it to research in mathematics.
23590 a BIG HOAX on the part of the plastic sign salesmen -- to sell more
23597 I don't care how poor and inefficient a little country is; they like to
23599 husband than I am; but, darn it, I'm not going to give her to 'em.
23608 I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the
23637 I don't have to take this abuse from you -- I've got hundreds of
23638 people waiting to abuse me.
23641 I don't kill flies, but I like to mess with their minds.  I hold them above
23645 I don't know anything about music.  In my line you don't have to.
23653 more concerned to know what his grandson will be.
23690 I don't need no drugs to calm me...
23698 I don't object to sex before marriage, but two minutes before?!?
23703 he starts to practice law.
23707 I DON'T THINK I'M ALONE when I say I'd like to see more and more planets
23713 I don't think they are going to give a shit about the Republican
23714 Committee trying to bug the Democratic Committee's headquarters.
23718 to the sea and drown yourselves."
23731 And I don't want to die,
23732 I just want to ride on my motorcycle.
23735 I don't want people to love me.  It makes for obligations.
23738 I don't want to achieve immortality through my work.
23739 I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
23742 I don't want to alarm anybody, but there is an excellent chance that
23745 broadcast signals to alien beings.  This would be a large mistake.
23751 I don't want to bore you, but there's nobody else around for me to bore.
23753 I don't want to live on in my work, I want to live on in my apartment.
23756 I don't wish to appear overly inquisitive, but are you still alive?
23763 I dread success.  To have succeeded is to have finished one's business
23769 I drink to make other people interesting.
23772 I either want less decadence or more chance to participate in it.
23785 I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an
23789 I finally went to the eye doctor.  I got contacts.
23790 I only need them to read, so I got flip-ups.
23827 I get my exercise acting as pallbearer to my friends who exercise.
23833 So I eat a good breakfast and go back to bed.
23837 But in spite of it all, I'm able to grin,
23849 farther, trying to see it clearly)...  and says, "Here, you can go."
23856 I got this powdered water -- now I don't know what to add.
23859 I got tired of listening to the recording on the phone at the movie
23863 long time.  I went to the theater and the sign said adults $5 children
23864 $2.50.  I told them I wanted 2 boys and a girl.  I once took a cab to
23874 No, I didn't. Just kidding.  I just said that to illustrate one of the
23881 I GUESS I'LL NEVER FORGET HER.  And maybe I don't want to.  Her spirit
23887 time enough to figure out where the goal line was -- what it meant to
23912 so I went back to sleep again.
23916 depth was revealed to me -- the Byss and the Abyss. I saw -- as one might
23918 through infinity and changing its sign from plus to minus.  I saw exactly
23923 I had a virgin once.  I had to go to Guatemala for her.  She was blind
23924 in one eye, and she had a stuffed alligator that said, "Welcome to Miami
23938 people and it was hard for me to come back to the bullshit white people
23940 power to make things different is a bitch.
23947 I had the rare misfortune of being one of the first people to try and
23951 I had to censor everything my sons watched ... even on the Mary Tyler
23955 I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense.
23964 it's going to be up all night.
23975 there's nothing else to do.
23984 box all over the floor.  The phone wouldn't stop ringing.  I had to get
23986 had to get an irregular.  It doesn't have a five.  I ran into a friend
23988 call.  I told him I can't call everybody I want to anymore, my phone
23993 I have a dog; I named him Stay.  So when I'd go to call him, I'd say, "Here,
23994 Stay, here..." but he got wise to that.  Now when I call him he ignores me
23999 the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners will be able to
24005 I just... to make a long story short..."
24008 I have a hard time being attracted to anyone who can beat me up.
24018 He is very, very like me from the heels up to the head;
24021 The funniest thing about him is the way he likes to grow--
24042 I have a theory that it's impossible to prove anything,
24051 I have already given two cousins to the war and I stand ready to
24056 to Imperialism, he catches it in a very acute form.
24073 to sit still in a room.
24080 I have found it impossible to carry the heavy burden of responsibility and
24081 to discharge my duties as king as I would wish to do without the help and
24084 		   of the British throne in order to marry the American
24115 guttersnipe, is a gentleman compared to you.  You can take that as more
24141 I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to
24150 I have never been one to sacrifice
24167 I have never understood this liking for war.  It panders to instincts
24173 in its gradual improvement, to leave off eating animals.
24182 I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his
24187 I have not yet begun to byte!
24192 I have now come to the conclusion never again to think of marrying,
24194 be blockhead enough to have me.
24203 I have sacrificed time, health, and fortune, in the desire to complete these
24205 advantage to myself.  But, notwithstanding the sacrifice of these advantages
24210 the offer of those honors or rewards which are allowed to fall within the
24211 reach of men who devote themselves to purely scientific investigations...
24216 venture to assert that no mathematician who has a reputation to lose will
24218 made, and that no man distinguished as a civil engineer will venture to
24222 advancement, which it is the object of the Analytical Engine to relieve, I
24245 I have to convince you, or at least snow you ...
24248 I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink.
24255 		   publishers, responding to Karl V. Karlstrom (a junior
24267 I have yet to see any problem, however complicated, which, when looked
24281 interesting: a man who takes more words than are necessary to tell
24288 I hold your hand in mine, dear, I press it to my lips,
24296 So until they come to get me I will hold your hand in mine.
24300 I hope you're not pretending to be evil while
24313 He wants me to appear as a character witness for him at his murder trial
24314 and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I
24315 ever needed one.  Needless to say, I readily agreed.
24325 I just need enough to tide me over until I need more.
24345 and never respond once to all the truth they heard.
24347 There ain't no rule that says they got to care.
24376 Well, to tell you the truth, in all the excitement, I kind of lost track
24378 world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself
24416 She was a credit to her gender.
24422 She took me back to the Hyatt House,
24423 I don't want to talk about it.		[chorus]
24426 I learned to play guitar just to get the girls, and anyone who says they
24437 I like to believe that people in the long run are going to do more to
24450 I like your game but we have to change the rules.
24455 to bite people themselves.
24462 I love being married.  It's so great to find that one special
24463 person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
24486 I love to eat them Smurfies
24487 Smurfies what I love to eat
24509 I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket of tapioca, but
24514 I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!
24529 I might have gone to West Point, but I was too proud to speak to a
24534 I will not Reason and Compare; my business is to Create.
24541 week sometimes to make it up.
24548 -- around the sun.  If we have the mass of Jupiter to work with, and if
24554 m/s will give us a gravity of one Earth normal.  We wouldn't even need to
24581 I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the
24585 I never failed to convince an audience that the best thing they
24586 could do was to go away.
24601 I never met a man I didn't want to fight.
24612 I never hope to see one
24618 I never hope to see one
24634 I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
24653 It's off to work I go...
24663 the greatest of dangers to be feared.  To preserve our independence, we must
24680 I pledge allegiance to the flag
24682 and to the republic for which it stands,
24694 I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
24697 I prefer the most unjust peace to the most righteous war.
24703 I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
24716 crude.  I'm a very technical boy.  So I decided to get as crude as possible.
24717 These days, though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even
24718 aspire to crudeness.
24725 parents were taking their children to see it.  So what?  Why should the
24727 	Dad says to Mom, "Honey, Scarface is in town."
24734 To see the sights I'm never going to visit.
24741 congresspersons to concern themselves with things like the MX missile
24742 so we can be free to concern ourselves with getting hold of the
24745 But from time to time, I feel I must address major public issues such
24748 win large cash journalism awards if you stick to the topics I usually
24753 I really had to act; 'cause I didn't have any lines.
24767 wall that didn't do anything... so anytime I had nothing to do, I'd just
24773 I recognize terror as the finest emotion and so I will try to terrorize the
24774 reader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if
24778 I refuse to consign the whole male sex to the nursery.  I insist on
24782 I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
24786 the train to come in, he said to me: "Excuse me, Mr. Cooke, I don't want to
24791 that way."  I told that to a network president, and he was deeply unimpressed.
24795 to mail a letter, met a blonde named Circe on the streetcar,
24798 I remember when legal used to mean lawful, now it means some
24816 New England, for board and clothes, and then are promoted to make weather for
24821 I sat down beside her, said hello, offered to buy her a drink...
24837 I saw Lassie.  It took me four shows to figure out why the hairy kid
24848 It's bound to take your life.
24853 they do get 'em lowered down enough so people can afford to pay 'em.
24858 Bernoulli would have been content to die
24862 I see where we are starting to pay some attention to our neighbors to
24867 I sent a letter to the fish,
24870 They sent an answer back to me.
24873 I sent a letter back to say
24874 It would be better to obey.
24875 But someone came to me and said
24877 I said to him, and I said it plain
24886 I went to wake them up myself.
24890 I tried to turn the handle, But ...
24898 I sent a message to another time,
24900 I sent a message to another plane,
24905 She's only programmed to be very nice,
24908 But when I try to touch, she makes it all too clear.
24913 She tries to be unkind, she knows nothing of our world.
24916 I shall come to you in the night and we shall see who is stronger --
24919 		-- Sigmund Freud, in a letter to his fiancee
24929 lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
24938 I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker
24939 Brothers -- they're going to make a game out of it.
24947 		-- Sam Giancana, explaining his livelihood to his draft board
24963 I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six.  Mother took me to
24974 tub to face is up.
24977 I suppose I could collect my books and get on back to school,
24985 country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
24986 I happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving
24987 are worth considering, to wit:
24990 	"When traveling on a one-way street, stay to the right, so as not
24991 	to interfere with oncoming traffic."
24994 	"Learning to change lanes takes time and patience.  The best
24995 	recommendation that can be made is to go to a Celtics [basketball]
25004 country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
25005 I happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving
25006 are worth considering, to wit:
25014 	"When paying tolls, remember that it is necessary to release the
25019 country is due to the progressive Massachusetts Driver Education Manual which
25020 I happen to have in my top desk drawer.  Some of the Tips for Better Driving
25021 are worth considering, to wit:
25028 	"Although it is altogether possible to fit a 6' car into a 6'
25029 	parking space, it is hardly ever possible to fit a 6' car into
25034 	Nevertheless, you should avoid the temptation to prove them wrong."
25037 thought. I think I'll have a few more drinks to prepare myself.
25039 I tell them to turn to the study of mathematics, for it
25051 I tell ya, gambling never agreed with me.  Last week I went to the track
25061 I tell ya, I was afraid to go to the bathroom.
25067 I think a relationship is like a shark.  It has to constantly move forward
25075 paranoid and the other half's out to get him.
25087 desperately anxious to do the wrong thing correctly.
25122 to blue, and it has to do with where the light is.  You know, the
25132 I think the world is ready for the story of an ugly duckling, who grew up to
25144 I don't know what it would be, but I think it'd be good to hear someone
25164 When we take the time to be courteous to each other, we find that we
25165 are happier and less likely to engage in nuclear war.  This point was
25168 were able to sit down at a high-level tea and engage in courteous
25184 "And you claimed to be very near two meters tall!"
25198 If she had not said what he wanted to hear,
25203 		   "Face to Face After Six Months of Electronic Mail"
25216 I took a course in speed reading, learning to read straight down the middle
25217 of the page, and I was able to go through "War and Peace" in twenty minutes.
25234 I try not to break the rules but merely to test their elasticity.
25237 I try to keep an open mind, but not so open that my brains fall out.
25241 The weatherman said "I don't understand it.  I was supposed to be 80
25245 I never have to go upstairs.
25257 I use technology in order to hate it more properly.
25260 I used to be a rebel in my youth.
25262 Rebellion is simply a device used by the immature to hide from his own
25265 I go to my analyst and we work it out.  You have no idea how much better
25269 I used to be an agnostic, but now I'm not so sure.
25271 I used to be disgusted, now I find I'm just amused.
25274 I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
25277 I used to be such a sweet sweet thing, 'til they got a hold of me,
25278 I opened doors for little old ladies, I helped the blind to see,
25288 Ma's been thrown out of the social circle, and Dad has to hide,
25289 I went to church, incognito, when everybody rose,
25296 I used to have a drinking problem.
25299 I used to live in a house by the freeway.  When I went anywhere, I had
25300 to be going 65 MPH by the end of my driveway.
25307 to be out that long."
25313 I used to think I was a child; now I think I am an adult -- not because
25317 I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.
25319 I used to think romantic love was a neurosis shared by two, a supreme
25324 I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my
25328 I used to work in a fire hydrant factory.  You couldn't park anywhere
25332 I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to
25341 I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
25344 I want to buy a husband who, every week when I sit down to watch "St.
25349 I want to marry a girl just like the girl that married dear old dad.
25352 I want to reach your mind -- where is it currently located?
25355 endangered species.  It's all very well to celebrate the practicality of
25357 bricks and mortar.  But to wantonly destroy a wolf, even one with an
25359 critical times when both man and his domestic beasts continue to maraud
25382 should go park it in the middle of the freeway and yell at everyone to
25391 Or your daddy shoots a baddie to the floor."
25394 I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did.
25398 I was in a bar and I walked up to a beautiful woman and said, "Do you live
25400 I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
25412 permitted me to function effectively.
25418 I wasn't tempted to buy one but I was reminded of the fact that I had been
25429 gives some effort to it.  A hoodlum is a pretty lousy sort of scum.  He
25431 Why, after I'd made my rep, some of the Chicago Syndicate wanted me to work
25434 was on the lam at the time and not able to work at my regular line.  But
25439 their lives doing things they detest to make money they don't want to
25440 buy things they don't need to impress people they dislike.
25453 I was working on a case.  It had to be a case, because I couldn't afford a
25467 How I was I to know?
25484 I went on to test the program in every way I could devise.  I strained
25485 it to expose its weaknesses.  I ran it for high-mass stars and low-mass
25487 I ran it assuming the superfluid currents beneath the crust to be
25488 absent -- not because I wanted to know the answer, but because I had
25491 temperature to be less than absolute zero.  I had found an error.  I
25492 chased down the error and fixed it.  Now I had improved the program to
25497 I went over to my friend, he was eatin' a pickle.
25500 Try to sing this song with that kind of enthusiasm;
25504 I went to a Grateful Dead Concert and they played for SEVEN hours.
25508 I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any
25516 I went to my first computer conference at the New York Hilton about 20
25519 all going to go? It's not like you need a computer in every doorknob!"
25521 Years later, I went back to the same hotel.  I noticed the room keys had
25527 I went to my mother and told her I intended to commence a different life.
25532 I went to the hardware store and bought some used paint.  It was in
25537 I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the
25541 I went to the race track once and bet on a horse that was so good that
25542 it took seven others to beat him!
25546 I will follow the good side right to the fire,
25550 I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the
25560 I will never lie to you.
25592 I wish a robot would get elected president.  That way, when he came to town,
25600 I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.
25601 There's a knob called "brightness", but it doesn't seem to work.
25609 went down to play the slot machine
25612 "Better head back to Tennessee Jed"
25621 "I wonder", he said to himself, "what's in a book while it's closed.  Oh, I
25647 I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
25649 missiles and we didn't have to go to that extreme.
25659 	 referring to image activation and termination.]
25661 I would like the government to do all it can to mitigate, then, in
25666 I would like to electrocute everyone who uses the word "fair" in connection
25670 I would like to know
25679 I would not like to be a political leader in Russia.  They never know when
25690 I would rather say that a desire to drive fast
25693 I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!
25701 I wrecked trains because I like to see people die.  I like to hear
25732 	Impossible to Buy Machine
25742 		-- with regrets to Douglas Adams
25749 IBM: It may be slow, but it's hard to use.
25762 I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
25775 I'd like to meet the guy who invented beer and see what he's working on now.
25777 I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the
25778 whole field to private industry.
25781 I'd love to go out with you, but I did my own thing and now I've got
25782 to undo it.
25784 I'd love to go out with you, but I have to floss my cat.
25786 I'd love to go out with you, but I have to stay home and see if I
25789 I'd love to go out with you, but I never go out on days that end in
25792 I'd love to go out with you, but I want to spend more time with my
25795 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm attending the opening of my
25798 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm converting my calendar watch from
25799 Julian to Gregorian.
25801 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm doing door-to-door collecting for
25804 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm having all my plants neutered.
25806 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm staying home to work on my
25809 I'd love to go out with you, but I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
25811 I'd love to go out with you, but it's my parakeet's bowling night.
25813 I'd love to go out with you, but I've been scheduled for a karma
25816 I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.
25818 I'd love to go out with you, but the last time I went out, I never
25821 I'd love to go out with you, but the man on television told me to stay
25824 I'd love to go out with you, but there are important world issues that
25827 I'd love to kiss you, but I just washed my hair.
25847 I'd rather be led to hell than managed to heaven.
25854 [Also attributed to S. Clay Wilson.  Ed.]
25874 	The part of the envelope that tells a person where to place the
25884 	Leisure gone to seed.
25890 shoulders and say to yourself, "Dijkstra would not have liked this",
25921 there will be N-1 passes.  Someone in the group has to be the manager.
25924 If a guru falls in the forest with no one to hear him, was he
25929 hours, it is certain to vote acquittal, save in those instances where
25933 IF A KID ASKS YOU where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him
25935 to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."
25955 separation to have killed him; yet according to our daily experience,
25959 If a nation expects to be ignorant and free,
25968 If a person (a) is poorly, (b) receives treatment intended to make him better,
25969 and (c) gets better, then no power of reasoning known to medical science can
25973 If a President doesn't do it to his wife, he'll do it to his country.
25975 If a putt passes over the hole without dropping, it is deemed to have
25976 dropped.  The law of gravity holds that any object attempting to
25977 maintain a position in the atmosphere without something to support it
25981 If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce
26006 they are content to die of old age
26007 without ever having gone to see it.
26010 If it has a good attitude, it will make a commitment to playing the
26012 course, it doesn't have enough talent to win, and no manager can make
26025 to get a "fix" of something, to its own detriment, then I would conclude
26046 If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end -- I
26058 If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.
26061 If all the world's economists were laid end to end, we wouldn't reach a
26065 If an average person on the subway turns to you, like an ancient mariner,
26069 responding to them from a studio audience, we're disengaged - voyeurs
26078 Pray what is a speller to do?
26081 There's nothing much left for a speller to do
26082 But to go commit siouxeyesighed.
26089 If any man wishes to be humbled and mortified,
26096 tail.  He's been recently fixed.  Answers to "Lucky".
26098 If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
26117 [Also attributed to Roy Mengot.  Ed.]
26126 If atheism is to be used to express the state of mind in which God is
26127 identified with the unknowable, and theology is pronounced to be a
26153 If coke is a joke, I'm waiting around for the next line.
26155 If computers take over (which seems to be their natural tendency), it will
26162 deserve to have any.
26164 		driving rain, waiting for transport to prison upon his
26169 If ever the pleasure of one has to be bought by the pain of the other,
26174 If ever you want to touch the hand and the heart of God Almighty, you can
26179 If every kid had a funny tooth to bite down on whenever the world disappointed
26191 If everything on the road of life seems to
26194 If everything seems to be going well,
26203 is an exception to every rule.  If we accept "For every rule there is an
26206 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
26207 can be an exception to the rule that for every rule there is an exception.
26210 If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him.
26213 If God didn't mean for us to juggle, tennis balls wouldn't come three
26214 to a can.
26218 If God had intended Man to program, we'd be born with serial I/O ports.
26220 If God had intended Man to Smoke, He would have set him on Fire.
26222 If God had intended Man to Walk, He would have given him Feet.
26224 If God had intended Man to Watch TV, He would have given him Rabbit Ears.
26226 If God had intended Men to Smoke, He would have put Chimneys in their Heads.
26228 If God had meant for us to be in the Army, we would have been born with
26231 If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
26233 If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to
26236 If God had really intended men to fly,
26237 he'd make it easier to get to the airport.
26240 If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he would
26244 If God had wanted us to use the metric system, Jesus would have had
26247 If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger
26250 If God hadn't wanted you to be paranoid,
26263 If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
26266 If God wanted us to have a President,
26279 If he once again pushes up his sleeves in order to compute for 3 days
26280 and 3 nights in a row, he will spend a quarter of an hour before to
26301 	the ending is just too hard to take.
26306 A movie queen to play the scene
26310 And I've got to say that I just don't get it,
26324 Would it help to ease the pain?
26328 If I 'cp /bin/csh /dev/audio' shouldn't I hear the ocean?
26332 I'm pretty sure to make my mark.
26336 I'll probably amount to much;
26344 Trouble creates a capacity to handle it.  I don't say embrace trouble; that's
26352 got to be a better way.
26362 If I had done everything I'm credited with, I'd be speaking to you from
26367 		-- Frank Sinatra, telegram to "Time" magazine
26369 If I had my life to live over, I'd try to make more mistakes next time.  I
26376 if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.  In fact, I'd try to
26380 If I had it to do over again, I would go places and do things and travel
26381 lighter than I have.  If I had my life to live over, I would start bare-footed
26389 If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
26398 In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with
26418 If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it.
26422 I would send a barrel or so to my other generals.
26437 If I traveled to the end of the rainbow
26439 Murphy would be there to tell me
26443 If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary form.
26449 If I were to walk on water, the press would say I'm only doing it
26453 If I'd known computer science was going to be like this,
26494 If it wasn't for Newton, we wouldn't have to eat bruised apples.
26505 the toilet, hoping not to clog the pipes.  A more sententious, holding-
26507 of a student-poet to hang on to his every word I never saw.
26522 If Jesus Christ were to come today, people would not even crucify him.
26523 They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun
26527 If just one piece of mail gets lost, well, they'll just think they forgot to
26529 other guy hasn't gotten around to answering his mail.  And if *fifty* pieces
26532 they'll just *know* that uunet is down and think it's a conspiracy to keep
26533 them from their God given right to receive Net Mail ...
26534 		-- Leith (Casey) Leedom, apologies to Arlo Guthrie
26577 If men are not afraid to die,
26578 it is of no avail to threaten them with death.
26582 Who will dare to break the law?
26585 If you try to take his place,
26586 It is like trying to be a master carpenter and cutting wood.
26587 If you try to cut wood like a master carpenter,
26591 If money can't buy happiness, I guess you'll just have to rent it.
26597 If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think
26598 little of robbing; and from robbing he next comes to drinking and
26599 Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination.
26609 far to seek. ...  The cause lay largely in the diversity and vitality of the
26619 If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
26630 If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
26658 If people have to choose between freedom and sandwiches, they
26690 If rabbits feet are so lucky, what happened to the rabbit?
26692 If reporters don't know that truth is plural, they ought to be lawyers.
26702 And caused her to feel an overwhelming, but not paralyzing, fear,
26703 Which motivated the patient to leave the area rather quickly.
26716 If scientific reasoning were limited to the logical processes of
26718 physical world.  One might as well attempt to grasp the game of poker
26723 books on how to?
26747 ultimately have been beneficial for it to go wrong.
26752 If that makes any sense to you, you have a big problem.
26775 If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to
26776 get the police at the gates to keep order in the inrushing multitude.
26778 the natural method of teaching what each wishes to learn, and insisting
26781 and unhealthy, and the young men are tempted to frivolous amusements to
26783 Scholarship is to be created not by compulsion, but by awakening a pure
26785 opening to his pupils precisely the attractions the study has for
26787 boys, not for men; and it is an ungracious work to put on a professor.
26792 principles -- but you'd be able to shift gears with your car stereo.  Useful
26800 would have something to do with a shortage of flowers.
26803 [Not to mention, butterfly would be flutterby. Ed.]
26808 If the future isn't what it used to be, does that
26809 mean that the past is subject to change in times to come?
26841 If the odds are a million to one against something occurring, chances
26847 If the rich could pay the poor to die for them,
26853 the programmer should be prepared to look out the window as necessary.
26860 on being employed until we drop, or get smart and switch to gardening,
26876 will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
26883 If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
26886 If there is any realistic deterrent to marriage, it's the fact that you
26896 If there really was a Jewish conspiracy to run the world, my rabbi would
26897 have let me in on it by now.  I contribute enough to the shule.
26911 If they sent one man to the moon, why can't they send them all?
26915 days, though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even aspire
26916 to crudeness...
26923 If things don't improve soon, you'd better ask them to stop helping you.
26946 I do not believe that this generation of Americans is willing to resign
26947 itself to going to bed each night by the light of a Communist moon.
26950 If two people love each other, there can be no happy end to it.
26968 likely to end up where we are headed.
26995 If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage.
26997 If we were meant to get up early, God would have created us
27002 If what they've been doing hasn't solved the problem, tell them to
27013 If women are supposed to be less rational and more emotional at the
27015 lowest level, then why isn't it logical to say that in those few days
27023 Otherwise, find someone who is standing closer to Douglas Hofstadter
27037 		-- Question James Thurber used to drive his German Shepherd
27043 If you are going to walk on thin ice, you may as well dance.
27051 If you are looking for a kindly, well-to-do older gentleman who is no
27071 If you are smart enough to know that you're not
27072 smart enough to be an Engineer, then you're in Business.
27074 If you are too busy to read, then you are too busy.
27084 If you can lead it to water and force it to drink, it isn't a horse.
27105 If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.
27120 accomplishment without having to accomplish anything.
27127 If you didn't have to work so hard,
27128 you'd have more time to be depressed.
27133 If you do not wish a man to do a thing, you had better get him to talk about
27134 it; for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.
27137 If you do something right once, someone will ask you to do it again.
27152 If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
27161 If you don't have time to do it right, where
27162 are you going to find the time to do it over?
27168 If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.
27174 If you don't want your dog to have bad breath, do what I do:
27180 If you eat a live frog in the morning, nothing worse will happen to
27183 If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you're going to
27184 have to get a toehold in the public eye.
27186 If you ever want to have a lot of fun, I recommend that you go off and program
27188 it cannot be allowed to get into a state from which only direct intervention
27189 will suffice to remove it.  An embedded system can't permanently trust anything
27193 raging maniacal paranoia.  For example, our ethernet front ends need to know
27196 gateway.  Gateways are required by definition to know their correct network
27201 network number?  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  Supposing that your
27203 number than before, what's it supposed to do about it?  This is not discussed
27204 in the protocol document.  Never supposed to happen.  Tough.  I think you
27213 If you fail to plan, plan to fail.
27215 If you find a solution and become attached to it,
27218 If you flaunt it, expect to have it trashed.
27229 If you give Congress a chance to vote on both sides of an issue, it
27233 If you go on with this nuclear arms race, all you are going to do is
27238 so as not to disturb those around you.
27241 all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were
27250 If you had just one moment to live
27264 If you have nothing to do, don't do it here.
27266 If you have received a letter inviting you to speak at the dedication of a
27268 does not necessarily have to cover the full range of your emotions.  You must
27269 make it clear that you will not attend, but you do not have to let fly at cats.
27275 of cats was not sought, only your services as a speaker.  Try to keep things
27282 If you have to ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
27284 If you have to ask what jazz is, you'll never know.
27287 If you have to hate, hate gently.
27289 If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.
27300 If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to
27310 If you knew what to say next, would you say it?
27312 If you know the answer to a question, don't ask.
27315 If you laid all of our laws end to end, there would be no end.
27318 If you laid all the Elvis impersonators in the world, end to end...
27336 If you live to the age of a hundred you have it made because very few
27361 come back to you, hunt it down and kill it.
27364 immediately to the best of your ability.
27374 be married to a man who cheats on his wife.
27380 If you MUST get married, it is always advisable to marry beauty.
27381 Otherwise, you'll never find anybody to take her off your hands.
27384 You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve?
27391 If you only have a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.
27417 If you put your supper dish to your ear you can hear the sounds of a
27421 If you really want to do something new, the good won't help you with it.
27423 something on their conscience, are obliging, quick to hear threats, because
27430 If you refuse to accept anything but the best you very often get it.
27440 If you sell diamonds, you cannot expect to have many customers.
27460 It is slick to stick a lock upon your stock.
27463 If you fail to lock your liquor with a lock.
27470 If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
27474 If you teach your children to like computers and to know how to gamble
27475 then they'll always be interested in something and won't come to no real
27478 If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
27498 someone pulls out a sword I'd like to see you get up there with
27515 be to throw the kind of party where your guests wake up today, and call
27516 you to say they had a nice time.  Now you'll be be expected to throw
27520 several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've
27521 been indicted for anything.  You want your guests to be so anxious to
27523 parties of their own, a year in advance, just to prevent you from
27528 through your living room window.  As host, your job is to make sure
27530 someone, your job is to make sure it isn't you ...
27534 them up end to end in a row, you'd be working for the government!
27538 end to end, they'd be a lot more comfortable.
27542 and laid them end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.
27548 If you try to please everyone, somebody is not going to like it.
27559 If you want me to be a good little bunny
27563 If you want to be ruined, marry a rich woman.
27566 If you want to get rich from writing, write the sort of thing that's
27567 read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
27570 If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
27572 If you want to know what god thinks of money, just look at the people
27573 he gave it to.
27576 If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.
27579 If you want to put yourself on the map, publish your own map.
27581 If you want to read about love and marriage you've got to buy two separate
27585 If you want to see card tricks, you have to expect to take cards.
27588 If you want to understand your government, don't begin by reading the
27595 If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every
27598 If you wants to get elected president, you'se got to think up some
27609 If you wish to be happy for one hour, get drunk.
27610 If you wish to be happy for three days, get married.
27611 If you wish to be happy for a month, kill your pig and eat it.
27612 If you wish to be happy forever, learn to fish.
27615 If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
27617 If you wish to succeed, consult three old people.
27619 If you wish women to love you, be original; I know a man who wore fur
27626 If put to a pinch, an ounce of loyalty is worth a pound of cleverness.
27628 	position, and when you are outside, damn to your heart's content...
27630 If you do that, you are loosening the tendrils that are holding you to the
27635 If you would keep a secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend.
27637 If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.
27643 If you'd like to cultivate insomnia,
27651 If your enemy is buried in quicksand up to his neck, pull him out.
27652 If he is buried up to his eyes, step on his head.
27659 If your life was a horse, you'd have to shoot it.
27662 Don't yield to the weakness.
27675 If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no
27680 embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
27684 bad or good will ever happen to you.
27692 If you're crossing the nation in a covered wagon, it's better to have four
27697 If you're going to America, bring your own food.
27700 If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for
27704 If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.
27759 	There is always an easier way to do it.  When looking directly
27776 I'll defend to the death your right to say that, but I never said I'd
27777 listen to it!
27778 		-- Tom Galloway with apologies to Voltaire
27784 I'll grant thee random access to my heart,
27790 I'll learn to play the Saxophone,
27806 I'll pretend to trust you if you'll pretend to trust me.
27808 I'll rob that rich person and give it to some poor deserving slob.
27826 it's more like the land He's trying to ignore.
27833 I'm a creationist; I refuse to believe that I could have evolved from man.
27839 		-- "Friday's Child", when asked to help the very pregnant
27842 		-- "Devil in the Dark", when asked to patch up the Horta.
27852 		-- "The Deadly Years", to Spock while trying to cure the
27856 		   physical exam to answer the alert.
27863 I'm a lucky guy, and I'm happy to be with the Yankees.  And I want to
27868 wouldn't want one to marry my sister.
27870 I'm also inclined to believe that if you wait long enough, you will
27879 But it's not what I really want to do.
27880 What I really want to do is be a shoe salesman.
27881 I know what you're going to say --
27883 All right!  But it's what I want to do.
27884 Instead I have to go on painting all day long.
27889 I'm an evolutionist; I refuse to believe
27892 I'm changing my name to Chrysler
27893 I'm going down to Washington, D.C.
27896 Will be perfectly acceptable to me!
27897 I'm changing my name to Chrysler,
27898 I'm heading for that great receiving line.
27912 "You ought to see a psychiatrist," he reminded me.
27923 I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
27939 I'm going through my "I want to go back to New York" phase today.  Happens
27954 I'm going to Boston to see my doctor.  He's a very sick man.
27957 I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes.
27960 I'm going to live forever, or die trying!
27963 I'm going to raise an issue and stick it in your ear.
27966 I'm going to Vietnam at the request of the White House.  President Johnson
27970 I'm hungry, time to eat lunch.
27981 I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be
28003 I'm not afraid of death -- I just don't want to be there when it happens.
28006 I'm not denyin' the women are foolish: God Almighty made 'em to
28010 I'm not even going to *bother* comparing C to BASIC or FORTRAN.
28024 I'm not sure I've even got the brains to be President.
28039 to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
28042 what's your gut feeling?"  But I try not to think with my gut.  Really, it's
28043 okay to reserve judgment until the evidence is in.
28049 I'm proud to be paying taxes in the United States.  The only thing is
28055 I'm really enjoying not talking to you...
28058 I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it
28093 I'm willing to sacrifice anything for this cause, even other people's
28103 usual way.  This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody
28107 Imagine that Cray computer decides to make a personal computer.  It has
28125 	In order for something to become clean, something else must
28151 	Unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from
28183 in a very familiar pose - arms raised above him, leading the country to
28184 revolution.  But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from
28185 behind, it was clear that Lenin was pointing to 11:00, when the Vodka
28186 shops opened, and was actually saying, "Comrades, forward to the Vodka shops.
28188 It became fashionable, when one wanted to have a drink, to take out the
28193 more to its liking.
28196 Kuwait, invaded that country and placed in power a government more to its
28202 an IC will blow to protect the fuse.
28213 humidifier for a mid-range computer but manages to tie it into the network
28227 In a hierarchy every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence ...
28228 in time every post tends to be occupied by an employee who is incompetent
28229 to carry out its duties ... Work is accomplished by those employees who
28242 of a rebel computer hacker.  However, they were unable to complete the arrest
28245 superior to Tops10.
28260 those who think Mia Farrow should go back to making movies where the
28261 devil gets her pregnant and Woody Allen should go back to dressing up
28265 In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to
28266 be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's
28272 In an organization, each person rises to the level of his own
28276 In any country there must be people who have to die.  They are the
28277 sacrifices any nation has to make to achieve law and order.
28281 are to be treated as variables.
28287 it's cold, half-French, and difficult to stir.
28290 In Boston, it is illegal to hold frog-jumping contests in nightclubs.
28294 	to deal with, but are afraid to throw away.
28305 shut your eyes tight and commend yourself to God.
28310 said, "up to the mathematicians."
28333 In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her
28334 husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons.  A woman must never
28341 In Columbia, Pennsylvania, it is against the law for a pilot to tickle
28343 to get her attention.
28348 In computing, the mean time to failure keeps getting shorter.
28350 In Corning, Iowa, it's a misdemeanor for a man to ask his wife to ride
28356 In Denver it is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door
28359 In Devon, Connecticut, it is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.
28361 In dwelling, be close to the land.
28372 In every country and every age, the priest has been hostile to Liberty.
28381 	a lark, a spree; it's very clear to see.
28387 transform, which was a precursor to the Cooley-Tukey fast Fourier transform
28400 for me -- and by that time no one was left to speak up.
28406 know the truth of the matter about which he is to speak?
28409 In Greene, New York, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on
28425 When the team got			to me about my blue jacket;
28428 Only the regular team			to wear that blue jacket
28435 In Hollywood, all marriages are happy.  It's trying to live together
28443 use through the necessity of having some way to distinguish between weather
28462 In Lexington, Kentucky, it's illegal to carry an ice cream cone in your
28472 pilot or passenger to carry an ice cream cone in their pocket while
28473 either flying or waiting to board a plane.
28476 to take every advantage of the enemy.
28499 In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending
28511 In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as
28512 to publicly play croquet or pitch horseshoes within one mile of the
28519 In order to dial out, it is necessary to broaden one's dimension.
28521 In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is;
28524 In order to get a loan you must first prove you don't need it.
28526 In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom.
28529 In order to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the
28541 In Oz, never say "krizzle kroo" to a Woozy.
28548 and attired in shorts to pilot or ride in an airplane.
28551 of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless same are exhibited to public
28555 happens a lot despite official propaganda to the contrary.
28562 In reply to a message by Scott Long:
28564 > Note: this amounts to life support for floppies.  The end IS coming.
28569 DRIVE AT ALL, leading to the infocalypse, the four horsemen pouring
28580 We shall encounter, counting, face to face.
28594 In Seattle, Washington, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon that
28607 In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
28610 In Tennessee, it is illegal to shoot any game other than whales from a
28629 In the age of the internet attaching a famous name to your personal
28630 opinion to give more weight to it is a very valid strategy.
28637 But by the time the second word was added to it,
28649 to Poincare having had a "... sleepless night which initiated all that
28652 	"One evening, contrary to my custom, I drank black coffee and
28654 	until pairs interlocked, so to speak, making a stable
28657 Too bad drinking black coffee was contrary to his custom.  Maybe he
28658 could really have amounted to something as a coffee achiever.
28676 Waitin' here in CERAS-land.	Pascal run all set to go.
28680 With no place to go.		But that can't make the queue move fast.
28683 		-- Ernest Adams, "Early Morning Queue", to "Early
28696 In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
28716 In the middle of a wide field is a pot of gold.  100 feet to the north stands
28717 a smart manager.  100 feet to the south stands a dumb manager.  100 feet to
28718 the east is the Easter Bunny, and 100 feet to the west is Santa Claus.
28720 Q:	Who gets to the pot of gold first?
28723 In the midst of one of the wildest parties he'd ever been to, the young man
28732 displeasing to us.
28739 everyone has gone to sleep two lone cavalry officers stand watch over the
28744 	Finally one soldier turns to the other and says, "I don't like
28751 to you, you would only be tried for receiving, a crime punishable by
28754 punches, although it was hard to find rabbits big enough or strong
28755 enough to punch you.
28758 In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
28760 and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
28787 In the Top 40, half the songs are secret messages to the teen world to drop
28808 In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be
28812 In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.
28819 In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
28821 In those days he was wiser than he is now -- he used to frequently take
28825 In time, every post tends to be occupied by an
28826 employee who is incompetent to carry out its duties.
28829 In Tulsa, Oklahoma, it is against the law to open a soda bottle without
28835 Through Test Suites measureless to Man
28836 Down to a sunless C.
28853 But only if the NFL to a franchise would agree.
28858 Through caverns measureless to man
28859 Down to a sunless sea.
28869 To do my best to please,
28881 	to motivate its people.  Still, despite all the experimentation with
28883 	incentive program to date seems to be "Do a good job and you get to
28892 	Person of liveliest interest to the outcumbents.
28904 	alphabetical list of subjects with references ought to be.
28906 Indiana is a state dedicated to basketball.  Basketball, soybeans, hogs and
28907 basketball.  Berkeley, needless to say, is not nearly as athletic.  Berkeley
28908 is dedicated to coffee, angst, potholes and coffee.
28920 	The period of our lives when, according to Wordsworth, "Heaven lies
28933 to tell you why you cannot have the information you require.
28946 		behind, flee then to the indifferent lifesaveringshippen
28958 		It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
28961 	Above the entrance to a Cairo bar:
28984 		Shake excess water from hands, push button to start,
28994 Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
28999 	water, chiefly used to facilitate the infection of idiocy and
29010 Innovation is hard to schedule.
29017 token it is the shortest detour to marriage.
29022 Insanity is the final defense.  It's hard to get a refund when
29029 	Realizing halfway through a joke that you're telling it to
29030 	the person who told it to you.
29032 Insomnia isn't anything to lose sleep over.
29041 Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't
29051 it is more useful to think of it like crime, war and cockroaches.
29052 It is not realistic to expect to eliminate any of these, no matter
29054 hope to accomplish is to bring spam under reasonable control...
29083 	One who enables two persons of different languages to understand
29084 	each other by repeating to each what it would have been to the
29085 	interpreter's advantage for the other to have said.
29091 	When you feel sophisticated without being able to pronounce it.
29105 it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
29109 It's off to disk I go,
29110 A bit or byte to read or write,
29121 they can't figure out how to get two quarts of water into one of those
29143 meant to be discarded: that the whole point is to always see it as a
29152 of the world, that such as are in the institution wish to get out,
29153 and such as are out wish to get in?
29159 Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?
29173 Isn't it conceivable to you that an intelligent
29175 		-- Adlai E. Stevenson, to reporters
29178 listen to weather forecasts and economists?
29185 Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angeles to San Francisco live
29203 had time to chat with the new entrants.  To the first one he asked,
29206 came, Einstein once again inquired as to the newcomer's IQ.  The answer
29208 Cubs do this year?" and they proceeded to talk for half an hour or so.
29211 "Got a minute to tell me about VMS 4.0?"
29242 It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
29245 It did not occur to me that my being with two men continuously would
29248 invited to a social gathering. I felt the set of rules others lived by
29249 was irrelevant. My childhood attitude -- every attempt to adjust is
29252 		-- Hannah Tillich, "From Time to Time"
29254 It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations.
29260 done and what you're going to do.
29264 It doesn't much signify whom one marries, for one is sure to find out
29268 It follows that any commander in chief who undertakes to carry out a plan
29277 It got to the point where I had to get a haircut
29307 came out to inform the public.  They thought it was just a jest and
29309 think the world will come to an end amid general applause from all the
29344 folklore to Article of Belief.  It enhances their self-esteem and lightens
29346 appreciation, or even simple awareness, is more to be prized than knowledge,
29347 and relating (to self and others), more than skill, in which minimum
29356 manes of horses.  The only known solution to this problem is to sprinkle
29371 to argue with the belly, since it has no ears.
29375 wise men, to put trust in ideas, and not in circumstances.
29380 It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
29387 It is a very humbling experience to make a multimillion-dollar mistake, but
29388 it is also very memorable.  I vividly recall the night we decided how to
29404 integrity made the system far more costly to build and change, and I would
29405 estimate that it added a year to debugging time.
29411 It is against the grain of modern education to teach children to program.
29413 thoughts, devoting attention to detail, and learning to be self-critical?
29416 It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of
29419 It is all right to hold a conversation,
29423 It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
29431 sin of Onan, and girls to the waning of their color.
29443 destruction of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to
29444 alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were
29446 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
29448 It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
29451 It is bad luck to be superstitious.
29454 [It is] best to confuse only one issue at a time.
29457 It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be
29461 It is better never to have been born.  But who among us has such luck?
29464 It is better to be bow-legged than no-legged.
29466 It is better to be on penicillin, than never to have loved at all.
29468 It is better to burn out than it is to rust.
29470 It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
29472 It is better to give than to lend, and it costs about the same.
29474 It is better to have loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
29476 It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
29478 It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
29480 It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.
29482 It is better to live rich than to die rich.
29485 It is better to remain childless than to father an orphan.
29487 It is better to travel hopefully than to fly Continental.
29489 It is better to wear chains than to believe you are free,
29492 It is better to wear out than to rust out.
29496 to use either.
29499 It is common sense to take a method and try it.  If it fails,
29503 It is contrary to reasoning to say that there
29511 It is dangerous for a national candidate to say things that people might
29515 It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary
29519 It is difficult to legislate morality in the absence of moral legislators.
29521 It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both
29526 It is difficult to soar with the eagles when you work with turkeys.
29528 It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
29532 It is easier to be a "humanitarian" than to render your own country its
29533 proper due; it is easier to be a "patriot" than to make your community
29534 a better place to live in; it is easier to be a "civic leader" than to
29539 It is easier to change the specification to fit the program than vice versa.
29541 It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
29544 It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
29547 It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
29550 It is easier to run down a hill than up one.
29552 It is easier to write an incorrect program than understand a correct one.
29554 It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
29557 It is enough to make one sympathize with a tyrant for the determination
29558 of his courtiers to deceive him for their own personal ends...
29561 It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
29567 	 referring to scheduling.]
29577 		-- Quentin Crisp, "How to Become a Virgin"
29579 It is far better to be deceived than to be undeceived by those we love.
29588 	to become lachrymose over precipitately departed lactate fluid.
29590 	to attempt to indoctrinate a superannuated canine with
29597 It is hard to predict, in particular about the future.
29600 It is idle to attempt to talk a young woman out of her passion:
29604 It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood
29607 It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy" in Jonesboro, Georgia.
29610 the vividly imaginative.  For although it may momentarily appear to be the
29615 It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
29617 It is impossible to defend perfectly
29618 against the attack of those who want to die.
29620 It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly
29621 unless one has plenty of work to do.
29624 It is impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry
29628 It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so
29631 It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not
29638 It is indeed desirable to be well descended,
29639 but the glory belongs to our ancestors.
29646 It is most dangerous nowadays for a husband to pay any attention to his
29656 It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
29659 It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the
29662 It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.
29665 privileged to utter sedition, to blaspheme, to outrage good taste, to
29666 corrupt the youthful mind, and generally to scandalize one's uncles.
29674 It is not doing the thing we like to do, but liking the thing we have to do,
29680 		   [Also attributed to David Merrick.  Ed.]
29682 It is not enough to succeed.  Others must fail.
29686 It is not enough to have a good mind.
29687 The main thing is to use it well.
29690 It is not enough to have great qualities,
29697 It is not for me to attempt to fathom the
29701 It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
29705 It is not necessary to inquire whether a woman would like something for
29707 she would like you to order it so she can pick at it with your fork.  She
29708 does not want you to call attention to this by saying, "If you wanted a
29711 		-- Merrill Marcoe, "An Insider's Guide to the American Woman"
29714 that Cartesian co-ordinates are simpler than they have a right to be.
29715 		-- Kleppner & Kolenhow, "An Introduction to Mechanics"
29718 the doer of deeds could have done them better.  The credit belongs to the
29746 It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort
29747 to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics and
29751 It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
29754 It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
29758 It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
29761 It is only by risking our persons from one hour to another that we live
29766 It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their
29770 to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
29774 what is essential is invisible to the eye.
29777 It is perfectly permissible for every system call to fail with [ENOTADUCK]
29782 It is possible by ingenuity and at the expense of clarity... {to do almost
29783 anything in any language}.  However, the fact that it is possible to push
29792 It is practically impossible to teach good programming to students that
29793 have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are
29797 It is ridiculous to call this an industry.  This is not.  This is rat eat
29798 rat, dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they
29803 his reason, and be able to recognize the good in the bad, the bad in the
29808 It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a
29809 sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate
29814 It is said that the lonely eagle flies to the mountain peaks while the
29821 It is so stupid of modern civilization to have given up believing in the
29825 It is so very hard to be an on-your-own-take-care-of-
29826 yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
29828 It is something to be able to paint a particular picture, or to carve a
29829 statue, and so to make a few objects beautiful; but it is far more glorious
29830 to carve and paint the very atmosphere and medium through which we look,
29832 highest of arts. Every man is tasked to make his life, even in its details,
29836 It is sweet to let the mind unbend on occasion.
29840 crossing, each shall come to a full stop, and neither shall proceed
29843 It is the business of little minds to shrink.
29846 It is the business of the future to be dangerous.
29850 set a house on fire, and it were but to roast their eggs.
29867 it takes Murphy's law to explain why it is happening to you.
29869 It is up to us to produce better-quality movies.
29873 It is very vulgar to talk like a dentist when one isn't a dentist.
29877 It is when I struggle to be brief that I become obscure.
29880 It is wise to keep in mind that neither success nor failure is ever final.
29892 small price to pay for having somebody around the house who understands
29895 It isn't necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be
29902 It just doesn't seem right to go over the river and through the woods
29903 to Grandmother's condo.
29907 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
29911 It looks like it's up to me to save our skins.
29915 IT MAKES ME MAD when I go to all the trouble of having Marta cook up about
29917 that chicken to the dolphins. They eat fish."
29923 to get in, and those within despair of getting out.
29930 It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
29933 It may be better to be a live jackal than a dead lion, but it is
29934 better still to be a live lion.  And usually easier.
29937 It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
29938 warning to others.
29940 It may or may not be worthwhile, but it still has to be done.
29942 It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more
29943 doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage, than the creation of
29951 starts asking questions is promptly packed off to bed.
29954 It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate his father.
29956 It occurred to me lately that nothing has occurred to me lately.
29958 It pays in England to be a revolutionary and a bible-smacker most of
29962 It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
29964 It proves what they say, give the public what they want to see and
29973 slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much
29980 It seems appropriate to me that Mapplethorpe's perverse images should
29981 be situated so close to Congress, which perpetuates a number of
29987 It seems intuitively obvious to me, which means that it might be wrong.
29990 It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the
29996 It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
29998 It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how
29999 to love with authority.  Women are simple souls who like simple things,
30000 and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give.  ...  Our family
30005 It shall be unlawful for any suspicious person to be within the
30012 It takes a smart husband to have the last word and not use it.
30014 It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
30016 It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
30019 It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
30021 It takes less time to do a thing right
30022 than it does to explain why you did it wrong.
30025 It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
30027 It took a while to surface, but it appears that a long-distance credit card
30033 Air Force, which sent in gunships to scatter the Cubans and relieve the unit.
30036 It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing,
30041 system.  From this, and the fact that we were able to capture and examine
30047 It used to be the fun was in
30051 		-- Lust to Love
30053 It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.
30056 It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
30065 It was a Roman who said it was sweet to die for one's country.  The Greeks
30066 never said it was sweet to die for anything.  They had no vital lies.
30086 There was one way to go
30098 It was pleasant to me to get a letter from you the other day.  Perhaps
30099 I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it.  I
30109 road.  Anxious to find shelter for the night, he walked over to a farmhouse
30113 to the skin.  Desperately he pounded on the door.  At last the head of a
30116 	"My car broke down," said the traveler, "and I want to know if you
30118 	"Sure," replied the man. "If you want to stay there all night, it's
30125 It was wonderful to find America, but it
30126 would have been more wonderful to miss it.
30135 It will be advantageous to cross the great stream ... the Dragon is on
30136 the wing in the Sky ... the Great Man rouses himself to his Work.
30139 nature and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant
30145 two things still safe to eat.
30148 It would be nice to be sure of anything
30154 	Slanted to the right to emphasize key phrases.  Unique to
30156 	are often slanted to the left.
30170 It's a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.
30187 It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
30190 It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
30204 half-crushed only to emerge and suffer more torment, mutilation, and
30220 It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
30224 but why do the rats always have to win?
30226 It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
30229 It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all.
30232 It's better to burn out than to fade away.
30238 It's difficult to see the picture when you are inside the frame.
30247 It's easier to be a liberal a long way from home.
30250 It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for
30253 It's easier to take it apart than to put it back together.
30256 It's easy to forgive someone for being wrong;
30257 it's much harder to forgive them for being right.
30259 It's easy to make a friend.  What's hard is to make a stranger.
30264 Its failings notwithstanding, there is much to be said in favor of journalism
30275 It's from Casablanca.  I've been waiting all my life to use that line.
30278 It's getting uncommonly easy to kill people in large numbers, and the
30279 first thing a principle does -- if it really is a principle -- is to
30287 It's hard not to like a man of many qualities,
30290 It's hard to argue that God hated Oklahoma.
30291 If He didn't, why is it so close to Texas?
30293 It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
30295 It's hard to drive at the limit, but
30296 it's harder to know where the limits are.
30299 It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
30302 It's hard to keep your shirt on when
30305 It's hard to outrun dead people because they don't have to breathe.
30308 It's hard to think of you as the end
30311 It's illegal in Wilbur, Washington, to ride an ugly horse.
30316 It's interesting to think that many quite
30317 distinguished people have bodies similar to yours.
30324 It's just a jump to the left
30325 	And then a step to the right.
30341 It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
30377 It's never too late to have a happy childhood.
30384 to run a government is either driving taxicabs or cutting hair.
30389 It's not against any religion to want to dispose of a pigeon.
30401 It's not enough to be Hungarian; you must have talent too.
30404 It's not hard to admit errors that are [only] cosmetically wrong.
30415 It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off
30419 It's not that I'm afraid to die.
30420 I just don't want to be there when it happens.
30438 It's odd, and a little unsettling, to reflect upon the fact that
30451 [Warner is also reported to have said, when told of Reagan's candidacy
30454 It's possible that the whole purpose of your life is to serve
30455 as a warning to others.
30457 It's pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness;
30465 It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough,
30468 It's recently come to Fortune's attention that scientists have stopped
30471 difficulty is that it's sometimes difficult to apply the experimental
30472 results to humans.
30481 	just to see if it's real,
30483 But I'm avoiding all the hard cold facts that I got to face,
30485 Could it have been just anyone or did it have to be you?
30488 It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
30496 the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
30505 It's useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they're
30508 It's very glamorous to raise millions of dollars, until it's time for the
30509 venture capitalist to suck your eyeballs out.
30512 It's very inconvenient to be mortal -- you never
30515 IV. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or
30516     equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to
30517     spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken.
30518 	Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it
30521 	Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel
30523 	adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to
30533 	speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.
30538 I've always considered statesmen to be more expendable than soldiers.
30543 I've always made it a solemn practice to never
30568 You never have to bother checking out a bit for parity;
30569 There isn't any reason to install non-static floor matting;
30572 I feel compelled to mention what I know to be a gloating point:
30584 It means we get to keep all our old mistakes.
30609 be just a few simple heuristics you have to remember...
30640 I was lucky to be chosen and clever enough to understand them.
30645 I haste now to my setting.  I shall fall,
30679 indifference to public notice to be universally recognized.
30683 West Point chemistry examination once provoked him to remark in later life,
30691 grace by cutting down parlour conversation to two sentences: "What's on
30693 		-- Goodman Ace, letter to Groucho Marx, in The Groucho
30711 Jim, it's Jack.  I'm at the airport.  I'm going to Tokyo and wanna pay
30716 	using the facility at any one time will all have lockers next to
30724 Martin just ran up a fifty buck bar tab.  And now he wants to charge it
30725 to you.  You gonna pay it?
30739 	"Joe, darling," she breathed, "I've got a confession to make
30742 forced your mistress to leave the city.  And I am the one who reported
30743 your income-tax evasion to the I.R.S..."
30765 Is there a hole for me to get sick in?
30767 Saying death to all those who would whimper and cry.
30768 And dropping a barbell he points to the sky,
30773 	The smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs
30785 Everybody stands in a circle.  The first person to do anything loses.
30790 Join the march to save individuality!
30792 Join the Navy; sail to far-off exotic lands,
30796 	Anyone who makes a significant contribution to any field of
30798 	obstruction to its progress -- in direct proportion to the
30806 	to blame it on.
30813 N:	The Way does not belong to things seen: nor to things unseen.
30814 	It does not belong to things known: nor to things unknown.  Do
30825 	Sometimes they don't even get a chance to start!
30836 2:	It's cheaper than going to France.
30839 5:	It's somebody's birthday.  I don't want them to celebrate alone.
30841 7:	Whoever said, "Let them eat cake." must have been talking to me.
30851 It's easy to get burned.		And she was gone.
30853 We had to get back home,		A lesson to be learned.
30855 I had to be alone.			It's easy to get burned.
30858 Driving me to the airport
30859 And to the friendly skies.
30873 one side to be totally the loser and the other side to be totally the
30874 winner.  The reason there are two sides to begin with usually is
30884 Just because he's dead is no reason to lay off work.
30887 going to get hit.
30907 and think to yourself, "There's no place like home."
30915 Just how difficult it is to write biography can be reckoned by anybody
30920 Just machines to make big decisions,
30925 What a glorious time to be free.
30929 an alien menace that wasn't immune to bullets.
30939 Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to
30940 twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!
30957 Just to have it is enough.
30969 Suzanne, the plans they made put an end to you,
30971 Just can't remember who to send it to...
30983 Justice is incidental to law and order.
30992 	Don't feel bad, it's hard to like them.
31004 Kansas state law requires pedestrians crossing the highways at night to
31032 	to the square of the distance from the keg.
31035 	A policy is a restrictive document to prevent a recurrence
31045 Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
31047 Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me...
31053 Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
31059 	   straining to land under a car, just out of reach (this
31064 	   proportional to the cost of hitting it.  For instance, a
31068 	   cute girl you've been trying to impress is watching, the
31080 Keep the number of passes in a compiler to a minimum.
31085 Keep up the good work!  But please don't ask me to help.
31087 Keep women you cannot.  Marry them and they come to hate the way
31095 Your Shoulder to the Wheel,
31096 Your Nose to the Grindstone,
31099 Now... try to get something DONE!
31118 	you've got to go broke.
31121 	Look for it first where you'd most like to find it.
31146 teenager stomp up to his branch and slam the leaves.
31180 	If a straight line of holes is made in a piece of paper, such
31181 	as a sheet of stamps or a check, that line becomes the strongest
31190 Kirk to Enterprise...
31192 Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack.
31194 Kirkland, Illinois, law forbids bees to fly over the village or through
31225 Kleeneness is next to Godelness.
31237 100% Damage to life support!!!!
31280 Know how to save 5 drowning lawyers?
31318 	Where the only way to determine that the seasons have changed
31319 	is to note that people have changed the main topic of conversation.
31320 	From mud slides to brush fires.
31338 	that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side.
31345 I come before you to stand behind you
31357 Two dead men got up to fight.
31358 Three blind men to see fair play,
31359 Forty mutes to yell "Hooray"!
31360 Back to back, they faced each other,
31366 boobs, bring her to the net and make her hit backhand volleys.  That's
31367 the hardest shot for the well endowed.  "I've got to hit over them or
31368 under them, but I can't hit through," Annie Jones used to always moan
31369 to me.  Not having much in my bra, I found it hard to sympathize with
31395 	During a visit to America, Winston Churchill was invited to a buffet
31405 Look to your stern!
31424 duties to the new man, Lamonte pointed to a bowl of candy on the coffee
31425 table and warned him that he was not to take any.  Some days later, the new
31426 manservant was cleaning up, with no one at home, and decided to sample some
31439 Lank: Here we go.  We're about to set a new record.
31440 Earl: (to the crowd) How about a date?
31445 Lansdale seized on the idea of using Nixon to build support for the
31493 every half mile.  We had one cassette tape to listen to on the entire trip.
31542 	An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
31546 	directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
31561 Laws are like sausages.  It's better not to see them being made.
31567 	3. If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
31568 	4. If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
31569 	5. Any given program will expand to fill all available memory.
31576 	(1) In order to discover anything, you must be looking for
31578 	(2) If you wish to make an improved product, you must already
31601 Is to keep the lightning out.
31603 Have failed to notice is that herds
31605 And steal the bags to hold the crumbs.
31619 Learn from other people's mistakes, you don't have time to make your own.
31621 Learn to pause -- or nothing worthwhile can catch up to you.
31647 Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.
31653 	"Speed upon county roads will be limited to ten miles an hour
31654 unless the motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a
31655 drink in 30 days, when the driver will be permitted to make what he
31678 	horse to have!  Now the only number that is both even and odd is
31686 Lend money to a bad debtor and he will hate you.
31690 LEO (Jul. 23 to Aug. 22)
31702 	Your determination and sense of humor will come to the fore.
31703 	Your ability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing because
31705 	fact, if you can laugh at what happens to you today, you've got
31714 Let he who takes the plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
31716 Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
31719 Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a
31724 Let me not to the marriage of true minds
31727 Or bends with the remover to remove.
31730 It is the star to every wandering bark,
31735 But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
31740 Let me put it this way: today is going to be a learning experience.
31747 wherein he has to perform a series of humiliating stunts to win the approval
31752 for Loeb, George came back to the fold, like a man with a bungee cord wrapped
31776 Let the meek inherit the earth -- they have it coming to them.
31802 To lead you to an overwhelming question...
31813 but let us never fear to negotiate.
31834 Let's just be friends and make no special effort to ever see each other again.
31837 relationship that exists, people have to seek a way to survive.  If you
31852 by trying to communicate with each other.
31860 your hand in to retrieve it, you suffer Pain and Suffering as well as
31863 * The toaster manufacturer, for failure to include, in the instructions
31868 * The store where you bought the toaster, for selling it to an obvious
31876 Let's talk about how to fill out your 1984 tax return.  Here's an often
31879 tax return around under your armpit.  No IRS agent is going to want to
31882 probably give it to you, just to avoid an audit.  What does he care?
31890 I am firmly opposed to the spread of microchips either to the home or
31891 to the office.  We have more than enough of them foisted upon us in
31893 in the farmers being forced to grow smaller potatoes, which in turn
31908 	The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to
31922 	Someone too poor to be a capitalist and too rich to be a communist.
31924 Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into
31934 LIBRA (Sep. 23 to Oct. 22)
31948 	to make a lot of money will come to a lot of people today, but
31954 	discovered to date.
31963 	A whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
31987 being at all relevant to women, there remains to civic-minded responsible
31988 thrill-seeking females only to overthrow the government, eliminate the money
31992 Life is a biochemical reaction to the stimulus of the surrounding
32003 Life is a game.  In order to have a game, something has to be more
32022 Life is a hospital in which every patient is possessed by the desire to
32035 Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
32049 Life is fraught with opportunities to keep your mouth shut.
32053 Life is knowing how far to go without crossing the line.
32058 Life is like a bowl of soup with hairs floating on it.  You have to
32089 Life is like arriving late for a movie, having to figure out what was
32108 Life is the urge to ecstasy.
32110 Life is to you a dashing and bold adventure.
32112 Life is too important to take seriously.
32115 Life is too short to be taken seriously.
32118 Life is too short to stuff a mushroom.
32124 Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
32132 		   Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
32138 Only one feat is possible -- not to have run away.
32141 Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention
32143 rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out,
32147 certain not to find her.  Drop me a note.  I'll call you, we'll talk and
32148 I'll ask you out to dinner where I'll probably spend more than I can
32149 afford in a feeble attempt to impress you.  Then we'll realize we have
32156 Life to you is a bold and dashing responsibility.
32172 Life's too short to dance with ugly women.
32188 Don't even try to understand,
32189 Just find a place to make your stand,
32209 man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
32224 night."  The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
32233 And I tried not to look as I walked to my wagon,
32254 		   attributed to Rabbi Hillel.)
32257 It doesn't seem plausible to me that there is the kind of God who watches
32258 over human affairs, listens to prayers, and tries to guide people to follow
32266 Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made
32275 And turned around and you were standing close to me.
32287 Like you, I am frequently haunted by profound questions related to man's
32294 fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have
32296 headache.  Thanks to the miracle of modern orange juice, I was brought back
32297 to life several days later, but in the interim I was definitely dead.  I
32299 as you keep the television turned down and don't try to eat any solid foods.
32307 Their topics run chiefly to sex.
32312 Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
32318 Lincoln had a secretary named Kennedy who urged him not to go to
32321 to Dallas.
32345 Snoopy:	That's nice to know.
32346 	The secret of life is to look good at a distance.
32348 Linus:	I guess it's wrong always to be worrying about tomorrow.  Maybe
32368 Is everybody in?  The ceremony is about to begin.
32380 Due to the holiday next Monday, there will be no garbage collection.
32382 Listen, there is no courage or any extra courage that I know of to find out
32383 the right thing to do.  Now, it is not only necessary to do the right thing,
32384 but to do it in the right way and the only problem you have is what is the
32385 right thing to do and what is the right way to do it.  That is the problem.
32386 But this economy of ours is not so simple that it obeys to the opinion of
32387 bias or the pronouncements of any particular individual, even to the President.
32389 their desires, they're ready to buy, they're ready to spend, it is a thing
32390 that is too complex and too big to be affected adversely or advantageously
32393 		-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, in response to: "Has the
32395 		   facing up to the recession?"
32432 Went out to have a frisk,
32446 Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is
32450 Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
32453 Living here in Rio, I have lots of coffees to choose from.  And when
32467 to want things that nobody else wants.
32482 Do all the things ___YOU want to do?
32493   method of preparing them.  Frankly, the easiest way to eliminate your
32494   guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're
32511 Logic doesn't apply to the real world.
32522 Logic, they say, belongs to man,
32534 side of the Great Beyond to write programs.  The software requires that
32535 your body be hardwired to an analog-to-digital converter, which is then
32536 interfaced to your computer.  A special terminal (very terminal) program
32544 Loneliness is a terrible price to pay for independence.
32557 Like to meet new and interesting people?
32581 home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham.
32585 Your wife's spending $280 a month on meditation lessons to
32602 to pay income taxes, too?
32625 Answers to electric can opener.
32629 Lots of folks are forced to skimp to support a government that won't.
32635 Unfortunately, it often turns out to be the wedding march.
32653 		-- The real words to The Kingsmen's classic "Louie Louie"
32662 	When, if asked to choose between your lover
32670 	because you're very sensitive to pleasure.
32673 	When you like to think of someone on days that begin with a morning.
32689 Love conquers all things; let us too surrender to love.
32692 Love in your heart wasn't put there to stay.
32710 But hate is the verb that to me is superb,
32716 Love is always open arms.  With arms open you allow love to come and
32730 Love is dope, not chicken soup.  I mean, love is something to be passed
32737 Love is in the offing.  Be affectionate to one who adores you.
32745 Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it.
32763 Love is the desire to prostitute oneself.  There is, indeed, no exalted
32764 pleasure that cannot be related to prostitution.
32770 Love is the process of my leading you gently back to yourself.
32776 Love IS what it's cracked up to be.
32792 Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.
32794 Love means never having to say you're sorry.
32800 Love means nothing to a tennis player.
32812 Love to eat them mousies,
32813 Mousies I love to eat.
32824 Love brought us to one death.
32827 Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up
32828 to.
32844 Prince of Darkness".  Of course, if Lucas were to design and manufacture
32868 Luke, I'm yer father, eh.  Come over to the dark side, you hoser.
32893 Machines have less problems.  I'd like to be a machine.
32914 	If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
32920 Accounting.] An extensive network with many on-line and offshore
32923 reluctance to bona fide inquiries which is the hallmark of so many DP
32927 security functions.  The known timesharing aspects of MAFIA point to a
32930 options, defaulting to YES) that precludes indifference or delay.
32937 	When there is a public outcry to cut deadwood and fat from any
32949 with a great white light, to the inexpressible advancement of human
32960 	to someone that it might be taught to talk.
32964 	A girl who never had the sense to say "uncle."
32967 	A young person of the unfair sex addicted to clewless conduct and
32968 	views that madden to crime.  The genus has a wide geographical
32970 	The maiden is not altogether unpleasing to the eye, nor (without her
32971 	piano and her views) insupportable to the ear, though in respect to
32972 	comeliness distinctly inferior to the rainbow, and, with regard to
32978 	human race is commonly known to the female as Mere Man.  The genus
32983 	If the facts do not conform to the theory, they must be disposed of.
32989 	    50% of the observed measurements must be discarded to
33011 	would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
33029 Make headway at work.  Continue to let things deteriorate at home.
33035 Make no little plans; they have no magic to stir men's blood.
33043 tend to create numerous files using large amounts of file space.  It
33045 the message-of-the-day telling users to clean up their files.
33063 Man belongs wherever he wants to go.
33071 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
33076 Man has never reconciled himself to the ten commandments.
33078 Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
33086 upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
33103 Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
33107 victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
33112 difference between what things are and what they ought to be.
33120 he is as to overlook what he indubitably ought to be.  His chief
33122 however, multiplies with such insistent rapidity as to infest the whole
33129 Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it
33134 will find he has been beaten to the punch.
33136 Man who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
33165 R:	Mice have four feet; each foot is attached to a small leg joined
33167 	attached to the mouse sub-system is a thin tail, non-functional and
33173 	The art of getting other people to do all the work.
33184 	A sexist, obsolete measure of macho effort, equal to 60 Kiplings.
33192 Mankind's yearning to engage in sports is older than recorded history,
33193 dating back to the time millions of years ago, when the first primitive
33203 	Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion
33211 conflict between the desire to stand out and the need to blend in.
33229 Many a man that can't direct you to a corner drugstore will
33233 Many a town that didn't have enough work to support a single lawyer
33236 Many a writer seems to think he is never profound
33241 Fewer still get to do the choosing.
33250 certain major manufacturer] (and in doing so have sold their soul to the
33257 weeks.  He does not desire to chant about anything with raving psychiatrists,
33268 the degree to which people are bored, by counting the number of their
33275 should be confined to persons of middle age.  Children are rarely still,
33293 which will recommend that they do what they want to do.
33312 Many people write memos to tell you they have nothing to say.
33329 It will come to such sights colder
33367 it in order to protect themselves.
33376 	in love and desiring to make a commitment to each other expressing
33377 	that love.  In short, commitment to an institution.
33408 to become one, and one undertakes to become nothing.
33411 exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and go to work
33427 Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly.
33453 "Yeah," I said, trying not to laugh.  Girls are funny.
33463 Marvelous!  The super-user's going to boot me!
33464 What a finely tuned response to the situation!
33468 Nature Lovers, he spoke to the grasshopper, saying: "Hello, friend
33477 And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to go.
33482 It followed her to school one day, the devotion never ended.
33484 The night she went to Senior Prom, she thought she had him beat,
33537 Mathematicians are like Frenchmen: whatever you say to them they
33542 Mathematicians often resort to something called Hilbert space, which is
33552 to each other without consideration of their relation to experience.
33560 a beauty cold and austere, like that of a sculpture, without appeal to any
33565 to be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.
33575 Matter will be damaged in direct proportion to its value.
33578 where everything is reversed, after which the point becomes to understand
33619 and a smooth road all the way to your door.
33628 May your Tongue stick to the Roof of your Mouth with the Force of a
33642 Maybe we can get together and show off to each other sometimes.
33646 had to seek professional help.
33652 	The quality of correlation is inversely proportional to the density
33659 	don't be the first to lie down and rest.
33662 	Whatever happens to you, it will previously have happened to
33672 AEsccen aewful jeork to steop outsyd.
33680 Sond feorth to fyht [d]e grimlic foe.
33683 Ond flyng him lic frisbe bac to fen.
33684 Beowulf belly up to meaddehaele bar,
33691 magnets over, and surging these voodoo boxen.  Fortunately, they seem to
33693 get to go home.  However, she has made note to quickly put together a totem
33695 oxide, bus grant cards, gummy worms, and some bits of old pdp backplane to
33698 bus drive him to bitter revenge.  Alas, if this fails, and the voodoo boxen
33701 of teleporting from cable to cable, screen to screen, ear to ear and hoof
33702 to mouth...
33711 Meester, do you vant to buy a duck?
33714 	An assembly of people coming together to decide what person or
33730 MEMORIES OF MY FAMILY MEETINGS still are a source of strength to me.  I
33750 Men are always ready to respect anything that bores them.
33753 Men are superior to women.
33759 Men aren't attracted to me by my mind.
33763 Men freely believe that what they wish to desire.
33776 Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
33795 at least a science -- an unfounded assumption very convenient to governments.
33797 Men ought to know that from the brain and from the brain only arise our
33802 and acts that are contrary to habit...
33808 Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
33815 Men use thought only to justify their wrong doings,
33816 and speech only to conceal their thoughts.
33823 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
33842 	can ever hope to acquire it.
33846 Mental power tended to corrupt, and absolute intelligence tended to
33848 favor of smart solutions to stupid problems.
33859 	There's never time to do it right, but there's always time to
33871 	bound to rain if you forget your umbrella.
33922 Might as well be frank, monsieur.  It would take a miracle to get you
33932 	If a string has one end, then it has another end.
33939 Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
33946 	The amount of beauty required to launch one ship.
33948 Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with
33952 Millions of sensible people are too high-minded to concede that
33955 are presented with a President who appoints the people who are going to
33960 Tricia and Julie begin to find silver threads among the gold and the
33964 Mind!  I don't mean to say that I know, of my own knowledge, what there
33966 myself, to regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery in
33969 will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that Marley was as
33983 	mosquito supplier to the free world.
33996 Minors in Kansas City, Missouri, are not allowed to purchase cap
34018 	women to indicate that they are in the market.
34027 Mistakes are often the stepping stones to utter failure.
34036 held to discuss it.
34044 it's lovely to be silly at the right moment.
34057   Pastry to two crust 9-inch pie	36 RITZ Crackers
34068 crust.  Trim and flute edges together.  Cut slits in top crust to let
34069 steam escape.  Bake in a hot oven (425 F) 30 to 35 minutes, until crust
34070 is crisp and golden.  Serve warm.  Cut into 6 to 8 slices.
34077 	Up-to-date, new-fangled, as in "Thoroughly Modem Millie."  An
34094 other.  There is no separate soul or lifeforce to stick a finger into the
34097 conceivable that someday the assumption will have to be rejected.  But it
34098 is important also to see that we have not reached that day yet: the working
34099 assumption is a necessary one and there is no real evidence opposed to it.
34100 Our failure to solve a problem so far does not make it insoluble.  One cannot
34112 	not to be aware of it.
34132 in his socks, was taking his first airplane trip. He took a seat next to a
34133 hulking bruiser of a man who happened to be the heavyweight champion of
34139 the world would he ever explain the situation to the burly brute when he
34141 woke the bruiser, and Moishe, his heart in his mouth, rose to the occasion.
34147 	closer resemblance to the atom, also the ultimate, indivisible unit
34159 Mommy, what happens to your files when you die?
34162 	When they finally do have to take you to the
34165 Monday is an awful way to spend one seventh of your life.
34185 To the man-in-the-street, who, I'm sorry to say,
34188 A man who's untrue to his wife.
34226 Moneyliness is next to Godliness.
34233 	Marriage to one woman at a time.
34247 	1. A celestial object whose phase is very important to
34251 	Everybody sets out to do something, and everybody
34252 	does something, but no one does what he sets out to do.
34275 waited for the Rogerians to free associate and the Rogerians waited for
34276 the Freudians to say something they could paraphrase.  The stalemate was
34283 leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction.
34284 Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
34288 religious man, had begun to visit the local synagogue to ask God's help.
34294 I just want to win one little lottery."
34295 	"As he dejectedly rose to leave, God's voice boomed, "Morris, at
34314 Most fish live underwater, which is a terrible place to have sex
34317 eyes.  So generally when two fish want to have sex, they swim around
34318 and around for hours, looking for someplace to go, until finally the
34328 	'cause they like to see the shining sun.
34334 Now there are two sides to this great big world,
34338 Don't come looking for me to lend you a hand.
34348 either to ourselves or to someone else.
34351 difficulties before we get to them.
34357 and succumbed to the lies, promises, flatteries, or mere attentions of
34367 Most people are too busy to have time for anything important.
34369 Most people are unable to write because they are unable to think, and
34370 they are unable to think because they congenitally lack the equipment
34371 to do so, just as they congenitally lack the equipment to fly over the
34390 Most people feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion.
34392 Most people have a furious itch to talk about themselves and are restrained
34393 only by the disinclination of others to listen.  Reserve is an artificial
34407 to help take their mind off some of the others.
34409 Most people prefer certainty to truth.
34412 or more of a chance to participate in it.
34414 Most people will listen to your unreasonable demands,
34420 Most people's favorite way to end a game is by winning.
34438 Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like.
34446 Mother told me to be good, but she's been wrong before.
34448 Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be President, but they
34449 don't want them to become politicians in the process.
34452 Mothers of large families (who claim to common sense)
34471 Mr. Rockford?  You don't know me, but I'd like to hire you.  Could
34479 Etiquette.  We aren't going to call again!  Now you want these free
34482 Mr. Salter's side of the conversation was limited to expressions of assent.
34484 wrong, "Up to a point."
34487 	"Up to a point, Lord Copper."
34488 	"And Hong Kong definitely belongs to us, doesn't it?"
34495 Much as they like to persuade us differently, lawyers are simply hired
34503 Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay, Horace ate himself one day.
34504 He didn't stop to say his grace, he just sat down and ate his face.
34516 And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
34518 And as she wept, her son was seen, to eat his head, his heart his spleen.
34528 in their sockets, sometimes smiling and talking, and then seeming to be
34532 fun to watch.
34538 Mummy dust to make me old;
34542 A blast of wind to fan my hate;
34543 A thunderbolt to mix it well --
34553 [The world wants to be cheated, so cheat.]
34562 	Do you know Presidents talk to the country the way men talk to
34567 Murphy's Law is recursive.  Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
34570 	Enough research will tend to support your theory.
34586 Must be getting close to town -- we're hitting more people.
34588 Must I hold a candle to my shames?
34596 My advice to you, my violent friend, is to seek out gold and sit on it.
34597 		-- The Dragon to Grendel, in John Gardner's "Grendel"
34609 First we checked to make sure the amplifier would fit through the
34610 frame, using the belt from my bathrobe to measure, then we picked up
34611 the amplifier and backed up to my bedroom door.  Then we rushed
34615 crowd had gathered.  I would like to be able to say that this was a
34616 symbolic act, an effort on my part to break cleanly away from one state
34617 in my life and move on to another, but the truth is, Cooper and I
34618 really just wanted to find out what it would sound like.  It sounded
34624 Does it really matter if the ABC people are inferior to the DEF people if
34628 The height of its contents to see!
34629 She lit a small match to assist her,
34630 Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.
34633 to the sidewalk, he sits there and watches the birds get hernias.  Well,
34649 It maketh me accurate to ten significant figures,
34650 	and it leadeth me in scientific notation to 99 digits.
34654 	I will fear no prof, for my calculator is there to hearten me.
34655 It prepareth a log table to comfort me, it prepareth an
34662 My central memory of that time seems to hang on one or five or maybe forty
34667 turnoff to take when I got to the other end ... but being absolutely certain
34668 that no matter which way I went I would come to a place where people were
34687 My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
34691 My doctorate's in Literature, but it seems like a pretty good pulse to me.
34707 	2: Never try to draw to an inside straight.
34708 	3: Never discuss business with anyone who refuses to give his name.
34725 somebody think of something to help us win a game?"
34726 	"I'd like to make a suggestion," Metkovich said.  "On any ball hit
34727 to center field, let's just let it roll to see if it might go foul."
34731 but they were there to meet the boat.
34741 she'd bury me in the sand, then I'd bury her.  This summer I'm going to go
34747 I've asked for it to be replaced, but nobody ever listens.  I think it
34748 would be better for us both if you were to just log out again.
34757 going to spend the rest of my life there.
34764 The ways are fair to his roaming feet,
34766 As sharply sweet to my heart he seems
34782 My method is to take the utmost trouble to find the right
34783 thing to say.  And then say it with the utmost levity.
34790 My mother drinks to forget she drinks.
34797 My mother once said to me, "Elwood," (she always called me Elwood)
34806 Rock and roll is here to stay	The king is gone but he's not forgotten
34807 It's better to burn out		This is the story of a Johnny Rotten
34808 Than to fade away		It's better to burn out than it is to rust
34813 And once you're gone you can never come back	There's more to the picture
34820 be able to change him, like a bank note, for two twenties.
34828 My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's.
34842 perfectly aware that there is no Royal Road to Mathematics, in other
34848 reluctant to turn back upon the frontier of this epoch. Space is indifferent
34849 to what we do; it has no feeling, no design, no interest in whether or not
34850 we grapple with it. But we cannot be indifferent to space, because the grand,
34851 slow march of intelligence has brought us, in our generation, to a point
34853 would be to deny our history, our capabilities.
34856 My parents went to Niagra Falls and all I got was this crummy life.
34860 'Tis to be wished it had been sooner done,
34874 lines, and they're going to stay that way.
34878 spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive
34885 character from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off
34889 to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any one of which -- bear
34891 -- could result in the kind of injury where you have to learn a whole new
34892 part if you want to sing the "Messiah," if you get my drift.  Then I hop
34895 exactly that moment to flush one of the toilets.  Perhaps several of them.
34898 My schoolmates would make love to anything that moved, but I never saw any
34899 reason to limit myself.
34910 I'm due to fall in love again.
34919 My way of joking is to tell the truth.
34953 	When it comes to foreign food, the less authentic the better.
34977 	to also yawn.
34980 Nasrudin called at a large house to collect for charity.  The servant
34985 Nasrudin returned to his village from the imperial capital, and the
34986 villagers gathered around to hear what had passed.  "At this time,"
34987 said Nasrudin, "I only want to say that the King spoke to me."  All the
34988 villagers but the stupidest ran off to spread the wonderful news.  The
34989 remaining villager asked, "What did the King say to you?"  "What he
34990 said -- and quite distinctly, for everyone to hear -- was `Get out of
34992 spoken by the King, and seen the very man they were spoken to.
34994 Nasrudin walked into a shop one day, and the owner came forward to
35011 Natives who beat drums to drive off evil spirits are objects of
35012 scorn to smart Americans who blow horns to break up traffic jams.
35018 of a country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to
35021 can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders.  That is easy.  All you
35022 have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists
35023 for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger.  It works the same
35030 is most likely to be creamed?
35048 Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it
35052 Nature makes boys and girls lovely to look upon so they can be
35056 Nature to all things fixed the limits fit,
35066 Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed.
35090 if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
35093 Nearly every complex solution to a programming problem that I
35094 have looked at carefully has turned out to be wrong.
35118 Neglect of duty does not cease, by repetition, to be neglect of duty.
35123 Neither spread the germs of gossip nor encourage others to do so.
35130 	Plastic pouch worn in breast pocket to keep pens from soiling
35159 Never appeal to a man's "better nature."  He may not have one.
35163 Never argue with a fool -- people might not be able to tell the difference.
35169 Never be afraid to tell the world who you are.
35172 Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark.
35181 because it is cheap; it will be dear to you.
35199 with the chemicals in Coke produce hallucinations. People tend to change
35201 window.  (Additionally, you begin to believe that elevators have windows.)
35212 Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you're
35222 Never forget what a man says to you when he is angry.
35226 Never get into fights with ugly people because they have nothing to lose.
35230 Never go to bed mad.  Stay up and fight.
35246 Never keep up with the Joneses. Drag them down to your level.
35254 Never leave anything to chance;
35257 Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
35273 Never make anything simple and efficient when a way can be found to
35276 Never miss a good chance to shut up.
35304 Never raise your hand to your children -- it leaves your midsection
35323 NEVER swerve to hit a lawyer riding a bicycle -- it might be your bicycle.
35333 Never tell people how to do things.  Tell them WHAT to
35337 Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.
35355 Never try to explain computers to a layman.  It's easier to explain
35356 sex to a virgin.
35359 (Note, however, that virgins tend to know a lot about computers.)
35361 Never try to outstubborn a cat.
35364 Never try to teach a pig to sing.
35376 there is not or that there is not space to list it all, etc.
35382 supposed to do.
35392 New Hampshire law forbids you to tap your feet, nod your head, or in
35393 any way keep time to the music in a tavern, restaurant, or cafe.
35396 Cruelty to Yourself.  Apply within.
35403 	time to get one is lengthening rapidly. Experts predict that at this
35404 	rate there will soon be an up to a one year wait.
35407 his wife most often reminds him to act it.
35416 New York-- to that tall skyline I come
35417 Flyin' in from London to your door
35429 economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job.
35443 1700 N. 17th St. this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down.
35466 Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in.
35472 	All things considered, life is 9 to 5 against.
35477 God -- I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again.
35484 (Nick-les Worth).  Which is to say that Europeans call him by name, but
35492 One disk to rule them all,
35493 One disk to bind them,
35494 One disk to hold the files
35512 The other ten percent of the time you had no right to expect that much.
35524 else to try.  If they work, they go in the Book.  Otherwise you follow
35544 	is "obvious" to those who failed to make it originally.
35551 		-- MGM executive Irving Thalberg to Louis B. Mayer about
35552 		   film rights to "Gone With the Wind".
35556 camel -- anything as practical and as perfectly designed to perform
35562 No discipline is ever requisite to force attendance upon
35572 No evil can happen to a good man.
35588 No group of professionals meets except to
35598 No hardware designer should be allowed to produce any piece of hardware
35611 It should be of the hill, belonging to it.
35629 No line available at 300 baud.
35631 No live organism can continue for long to exist sanely under conditions of
35632 absolute reality; even larks and katydids are supposed, by some, to dream.
35641 	Impossible to fix.
35655 me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know
35667 No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
35670 No man's ambition has a right to stand in
35675 than the interests of the right of nations to self-determination.
35684 No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up.
35709 No modern woman with a grain of sense ever sends little notes to an
35713 No, my friend, the way to have good and safe government, is not to trust it
35714 all to one, but to divide it among the many, distributing to every one exactly
35715 the functions he is competent to.  It is by dividing and subdividing these
35719 		-- Thomas Jefferson, to Joseph Cabell, 1816
35737 No one gets too old to learn a new way of being stupid.
35742 No one knows like a woman how to say
35752 No one should have to wait until after ten o'clock for his english muffin!
35769 But should a fat swine try to soar like a loon,
35774 But to have a pig soar when the monsoon doth roar
35792 The operator killed Puff's job -- he didn't seem to care.
35793 A gloom fell on the hackers; it seemed to be the end,
35837 No question is so difficult as one to which the answer is obvious.
35844 that some woman didn't want to make some alterations.
35847 No self-respecting fish would want to be wrapped in that kind of paper.
35853 No small art is it to sleep: it is necessary
35854 for that purpose to keep awake all day.
35910 limited in something.  We all need somebody to talk to.  It would be good
35911 if we talked to each other--not just pitter-patter, but real talk.  We
35913 that you show you are vulnerable makes them free to be vulnerable too.
35914 It's so much easier to be together when we drop our masks.
35935 Nobody said computers were going to be polite.
35949 order for presidents to make wars, for governments to feed on the
35950 substance of their people, for insurance companies to cheat the young
35954 Nobody takes a bribe.  Of course at Christmas if you happen to hold out
35955 your hat and somebody happens to put a little something in it, well, that's
35958 		   O'Brien, instructions to the force.
35961 It's all we can do to put up with constructive praise.
35983 Non-Determinism is not meant to be reasonable.
35986 Nondeterminism means never having to say you are wrong.
35992 to get rid of a man as soon as he thinks himself an expert -- because no one
35994 job sees so much more to be done than he has done, that he is always pressing
35995 forward and never gives up an instant of thought to how good and how efficient
35996 he is.  Thinking always ahead, thinking always of trying to do more, brings a
36013 Noone ever built a statue to a critic.
36021 moved from Cambridge to Newton his wife, knowing that he would be absolutely
36022 useless on the move, packed him off to MIT while she directed the move.  Since
36024 moved to, she wrote down the new address on a piece of paper, and gave it to
36025 him.  Naturally, in the course of the day, an insight occurred to him.  He
36028 threw the piece of paper away.  At the end of the day he went home (to the
36030 had moved, that he had no idea where they had moved to, and that the piece of
36033 he had moved to, saying, "Excuse me, perhaps you know me.  I'm Norbert Wiener
36034 and we've just moved.  Would you know where we've moved to?"  To which the
36036 	The capper to the story is that I asked his daughter (the girl in the
36039 however, was pretty close to what actually happened...
36067 Norm:  Never been better, Woody. ... Just once I'd like to be better.
36080 Coach:  What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
36089 		-- Cheers, From Beer to Eternity
36117 Norm:   Everything that's supposed to be.
36129 [Norm tries to prove that he is not Anton Kreitzer.]
36145 Normally our rules are rigid; we tend to discretion, if for no other
36147 although we cheerfully provide information as to those who have failed
36153 Nostalgia just isn't what it used to be.
36164 Not every problem someone has with his girlfriend is necessarily due to
36190 I'm looking forward to working with you on this next year.
36193 Not only is UNIX dead, it's starting to smell really bad.
36197 serious drug collection the tendency is to push it as far as you can.
36200 Not to laugh, not to lament, not to curse, but to understand.
36203 Not to mention the fact that most of the good code for PC minix seems
36204 to have been written by Bruce Evans.
36210 features, including, but not limited to, frustration, disgust, system
36224 Failed due to: SunOS 5.8 is installed.
36227 Note to myself: use real bullets next time.
36231 is astounded to see that their leader is part swan and part woman --
36233 careful not to make any poultry jokes ...
36242 Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up.
36249 proverb is no proverb to you till your life has illustrated it.
36252 Nothing in life is so exhilarating as to be shot at without result.
36255 Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as
36259 Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.
36273 To prove this to yourself, try opening the refrigerator door before the
36278 Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
36281 Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
36312 Nothing motivates a man more than to
36316 repugnant to God as everything which is official; and why? because
36318 which can be offered to a personality.
36325 which the hearer is permitted to laugh.
36345 She got from trying to fight
36349 And you just have to pay for it sometime.
36350 She said it before, she said it to me,
36351 I suppose she believed there was nothing to see,
36373 	Anyone seen smoking will be assumed to be on fire and will
36403 Now and then an innocent person is sent to the legislature.
36409 Now I lay me back to sleep.
36415 Now I lay me down to sleep
36420 Now I lay me down to sleep,
36421 I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
36425 Now I lay me down to study,
36427 And if I fail to learn this junk,
36434 Now is the time for all good men to come to.
36438 now the time to beat the earth with unfettered foot.
36441 Now it's time to say goodbye
36452 And since to look at things in bloom
36466 Yearn only to sink into sleep.
36472 		-- Hermann Hesse, "Going to Sleep"
36476 to plug her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
36477 eating coffee cake while listening to her exhortations, ask yourself
36481 2: Was the author's sole motive in writing this book to get rich
36483 3: Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed...
36491 Yorba Linda, and out of the ground he made to grow orange trees that
36511 Now's the time to have some big ideas
36512 Now's the time to make some firm decisions
36531 	It would take one shot -- to blow him away...
36574 	to IBM, GM, and AT&T.)
36606 Might we not smash it to bits
36607 And mould it closer to our hearts' desire?
36640 Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
36644 	solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
36650 	which they are pleased to call "war" and "commerce."  These, also,
36664 to know so much and have control over nothing.
36667 Of all possible committee reactions to any given agenda item, the
36687 Of course it's possible to love a human being
36695 Of course you can't flap your arms and fly to the moon.
36696 After awhile you'd run out of air to push against.
36698 Of course you have a purpose -- to find a purpose.
36704 	The use of computers to improve efficiency in the office
36705 	by removing anyone you would want to talk with over coffee.
36722 	The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
36724 Oh, Aunty Em, it's so good to be home!
36734 With nothing whatever to grumble at!
36742 I long to embrace her whose hair is so smooth.
36753 "Boy -- here's the answer, no need to despair:
36756 Oh freddled gruntbuggly, thy micturations are to me
36778 	When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
36783 	'Cause I'm moving next week to L4!			(chorus)
36789 		-- to Home on the Range
36794 	to night,			Without a conclusion in sight.
36819 wasn't supposed to kill them, but he had to do something.  So one morning
36827 know how to build a cage he put them in holes.  He's a smart dog."
36870 And when it came my time to serve
36872 But when I got to my old draft board,
36882 	Besides I ain't no fool, I'm a-going to school
36920 Born under one law, to another bound.
36923 Oh, well, I guess this is just going to be one of those lifetimes.
36925 Oh what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
36944 you can call me "R. J. Johnson", but ya DOESN'T have to call me "Johnson" ...
36951 Ok, note to all reading this: if I ask for information and you don't
36953 just to tell me that you don't have the information available. Wait
36976 Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man.
36979 Old age is too high a price to pay for maturity.
36991 Old men are fond of giving good advice to console themselves for being
36992 no longer in a position to give bad examples.
36995 Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard
37004 Old programmers never die, they just branch to a new address.
37017 	Indifferent to type of drink.  Ex: "Oh, you can get me anything.
37047 nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter
37065 On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are
37069 On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the
37074 On the night before her family moved from Kansas to California, the little
37075 girl knelt by her bed to say her prayers.  "God bless Mommy and Daddy and
37076 Keith and Kim," she said.  As she began to get up, she quickly added, "Oh,
37077 and God, this is goodbye.  We're moving to Hollywood."
37090 come out?"  I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of
37095 forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
37098 Once a word has been allowed to escape, it cannot be recalled.
37108 to human chance and circumstance.
37114 to grasp, to hold
37121 one each to toll the day, hour, minute
37144 Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that
37145 each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his
37149 called it "Christmas" and went to church; the Jews called it "Hanukkah"
37150 and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank.  People
37152 Hanukkah!" or (to the atheists) "Look out for the wall!"
37155 Once at a social gathering, Gladstone said to Disraeli, "I predict,
37164 roars.  Now he is a tinpot pope in the Coca-Cola belt and a brother to the
37183 Once it hits the fan, the only rational choice is to
37202 beings infinite distances continue to exist, a wonderful living side by
37204 which makes it possible for each to see each other whole against the sky.
37207 Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it's hard to get it back in.
37210 Once there was a little nerd who loved to read your mail,
37211 And then yank back the i-access times to get hackers off his tail,
37213 He wrote a rude rejection to her boyfriend (how uncool!)
37219 And when he went to his blit that night to play at being god,
37220 The ops all heard him holler, and they to the console dashed,
37227 And you hear the printer whining and the rk's seems to count,
37236 to remind himself that the basses usually required an extra cue towards the
37237 end of the symphony, the conductor would fasten a piece of string around the
37246 were not very rich, and one of the few ways to become at all wealthy was
37247 to become a Royal Knight.  This required an interview with the bear.  If
37268 Once you've tried to change the world you find
37269 it's a whole bunch easier to change your mind.
37271 One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least
37285 One Bell System - it used to work before they installed the Dimension!
37292 One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar.
37303 One can't proceed from the informal to the formal by formal means.
37306 to the popular conception supported by newspapers and mothers of scientists,
37312 attic.  He starts to polish it and (poof!) a genie appears in a cloud of
37317 resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the Mongol hordes, march to the Polish
37318 border, decide he doesn't want to invade, and march back home."
37320 	"Hmmmm.  I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the
37321 Mongol hordes, march to the Polish border, decide he doesn't want to invade,
37324 	"I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite his ---"
37325 	"OKOKOKOK!  Right.  Got it.  Why do you want Genghis Khan to march
37326 to Poland three times and never invade?"
37327 	The old man smiles.  "He has to pass through Russia six times."
37329 One day the King decided that he would force all his subjects to tell the
37331 "Whoever would enter the city must first answer the truth to a question
37332 which will be put to him."  Nasrudin was first in line.  The captain of the
37335 	"I am going," said Nasrudin, "to be hanged on that gallows."
37342 decides to do something about it.  He calls up his best friend, who is a
37346 this over a bit and walks away mumbling to himself.
37347 	A week later his friend drops by to ask the genius if he's had any
37350 there a number of details to be figured out.
37353 some of the theory to work out, but now I'm certain that I'm on the right
37357 eyes.  His hair hasn't been combed for many days.  He appears to be wearing
37366 With nothing to say,
37370 With nothing to say,
37393 merits of a local ring hero, the bar goes silent.  Malone turns around to see
37394 his wife, with a face grim as death, stalking to the bar.
37395 	Slapping a four-bit piece down on the bar, she draws herself up to her
37396 full five feet five inches and says to Mulcahey, "Give me what himself has
37404 	Sometime later, she comes to on the pool table, a jacket under her
37425 never have to stop and answer the phone.
37443 One has to look out for engineers -- they begin with sewing machines
37456 One learns to itch where one can scratch.
37466 produce half again as many ideas.  These four plus four more begin to
37467 represent a creative meeting, and the ratio changes to one quarter as
37489 One meets his destiny often on the road he takes to avoid it.
37491 One monk said to the other, "The fish has flopped out of the net! How
37495 One must have a heart of stone to read the death of Little Nell by Dickens
37503 One of my less pleasant chores when I was young was to read the Bible from
37504 one end to the other.  Reading the Bible straight through is at least 70
37511 advisor... is to discourage... from expecting too much from
37516 enough to give you presents they make at school.
37523 One of the lessons of history is that nothing is often a good thing to
37524 do and always a clever thing to say.
37528 Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just
37529 to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't
37530 be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending
37531 to be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't
37534 time, which obviously worried him, hence the act.  He preferred people to be
37535 puzzled rather than contemptuous.  This above all appeared to Trillian to be
37536 genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.
37537 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
37539 One of the most overlooked advantages to computers is...  If they do
37548 create goyim?"  The generally accepted answer is "________somebody has to buy
37550 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
37557 seat to another passenger.  This may seem callous, but it is the best
37558 way, really.  If one passenger were to give a seat to someone who
37569 thief who was to be executed.  As he was taken away he made a bargain with
37570 the king: in one year he would teach the king's favorite horse to sing
37571 hymns.  The other prisoners watched the thief singing to the horse and
37575 And perhaps the horse will learn to sing.
37588 And, one pill makes you small.		And you know you're going to fall.
37595 Get up and tell you where to go.	Have fallen sloppy dead,
37607 One possible reason that things aren't going according to plan
37612 they be installed on congressmen to keep them from taking trips.  Let's
37613 say your congressman was trying to travel to Paris to do a fact-finding
37615 sherbet.  Just when he got to the plane, his mandatory air bag,
37617 rendering him too large to fit through the plane door.  It could also
37618 be rigged to inflate whenever the congressman proposed a law.  ("Mr.
37625 already too large to fit on normal aircraft.
37634 One Saturday afternoon, during the campaign to decide whether or not there
37636 to San Diego.  We passed several state beaches, some crowded and some
37639 many beach-goers prefer to be crowded together. Buying more beaches that
37640 people won't go to because they prefer to be crowded together on one beach
37644 One seldom sees a monument to a committee.
37655 It's likely to last.
37658 ONE THING KIDS LIKE is to be tricked.  For instance, I was going to take
37659 my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to a burned-out
37663 I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty
37667 One thing the inventors can't seem to get the bugs out of is fresh
37679 going to be out that long."
37682 One toke over the line, sweet Mary,
37683 One toke over the line,
37685 One toke over the line.
37689 One toke over the line.
37691 One way to make your old car run better is to look up the price of a
37694 One way to stop a run away horse is to bet on him.
37700 One would like to stroke and caress human beings, but one dares not do so,
37708 On-line, adj.:
37709 	The idea that a human being should always be accessible to a
37738 to use the editorial "we".
37740 Only someone with nothing to be sorry for
37748 and thereafter dwell in infamy, relegated to discussing gas mileage and lawn
37752 modest price to pay.  For you have tapped into the same awesome primal power
37759 Only the hypocrite is really rotten to the core.
37773 happens to be accused of the crime.  These have always looked out of their
37779 of them is paranoid and the other one is out to get him.
37781 Only way to open lips of pigeon, sledgehammer.
37801 Oprah Winfrey has an incredible talent for getting the weirdest people to
37802 talk to.  And you just HAVE to watch it.  "Blind, masochistic minority,
37812 those accustomed to falling into adversity, and most acceptably expounded
37814 to the light of disproof -- an intellectual disorder, yielding to no treatment
37824 	"Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God.
37825 	"No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that
37832 	Someone who goes down to the marriage
37833 	bureau to see if his license has expired.
37850 	Eighty billion gallons of water with no place to go on Saturday
37854 Cleanliness is next to impossible
37863 to people you could not have possibly met.
37878 Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
37890 any difference if it takes a while to fix it."
37893 Our business in life is not to succeed
37894 but to continue to fail in high spirits.
37897 Our congratulations go to a Burlington Vermont civilian employee of the
37905 to the Pentagon free of charge:
37909 	c. And don't pay other people to kill anybody.
37911 We expect annual savings to be in the billions.
37918 office.  He was introduced to me, at which time he pointed out that we
37926 	"He can have a lollipop any time he wants to.  That's what it
37927 	means to be a programmer."
37931 national emergency... Always there has been some terrible evil to
37934 never to have happened, seem never to have been quite real.
37939 Our informal mission is to improve the love life of operators worldwide.
37943 They have their day and cease to be;
37952 to grow up to be spoiled and rich.  If we left our tennis racquets in the
37960 way to talk about them is lightheartedly.
37980 Our vision is to speed up time, eventually eliminating it.
37987 want and are willing to go through hell to get it.
37998 it's too dark to read.
38007 Overall, the philosophy is to attack the availability problem from two
38008 complementary directions:  to reduce the number of software errors through
38009 rigorous testing of running systems, and to reduce the effect of the remaining
38010 errors by providing for recovery from them.  An interesting footnote to this
38011 design is that now a system failure can usually be considered to be the
38021 continue on its normal course; when we fail to provide for an unusually
38040 concentrations of as little as 0.000001 p.p.m.  Humans exposed to the
38046 oxygen in 20% concentration.  It apparently contributes to a complex
38052 sufficient to make oxygen addiction permanent.  After that, any
38057 the continental U.S. for the period of the past 25 years were found to be
38058 due to the presence of this gas in the atmosphere surrounding the buildings
38069 	(3) People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
38082 yaad, n:	A tract of ground adjacent to a building.
38099 	exposing them to the critic.
38129 Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world isn't out to get you.
38136 Now ... just try to find out where!
38138 Paranoid schizophrenics outnumber their enemies at least two to one.
38140 Paranoids are people, too; they have their own problems.  It's easy to
38156 didn't have much of anything to do with it.
38159 	Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
38162 	If there is a way to delay an important decision, the good
38166 	The number of people in any working group tends to increase
38167 	regardless of the amount of work to be done.
38178 Pascal is a language for children wanting to be naughty.
38200 Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life.
38216 P:	Well, I don't think that the Lord meant us to eat CHARRED
38219 P:	The hog, the squirrel... little squirrels.  Who would want to eat
38222 P:	You'd probably just CHAR 'em to get 'em stiff, wouldn't ya?
38258 resort of the scoundrel.  With all due respect to an enlightened but
38259 inferior lexicographer I beg to submit that it is the first.
38286 Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.
38295 Payeen to a Twang
38302 to go dig
38310 Peace be to this house, and all that dwell in it.
38335 Hershey's kiss or star pressing down firmly to crack cookie.  Makes a
38354 at third, was making a few plays that weren't exactly soothing to manager
38360 hope they don't hit the ball to me.'"  The players snickered, and even
38361 Lasorda had to fight off a laugh.  "Second, `I hope they don't hit the ball
38362 to Sax.'"
38369 The solution to a problem changes the nature of the problem.
38373 	"There's nothing to it.  All you have to do is take a close look
38377 weren't easy to understand?  You show me someone who can't understand
38392 attention) have often been likened to snowflakes.  This analogy is meant to
38394 case.  People ... are simply a dime a dozen.  And, I hasten to add, their
38395 only similarity to snowflakes resides in their invariable and lamentable
38396 tendency to turn, after a few warm days, to slush.
38399 People are beginning to notice you.
38404 People are unconditionally guaranteed to be full of defects.
38410 if they have anything else to amuse them.
38413 People love high ideals, but they got to be about 33-percent plausible.
38427 People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of
38430 People respond to people who respond.
38436 People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people
38440 People seem to think that the blanket phrase, "I only work here,"
38445 People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.
38447 People that can't find something to live for always seem to find something
38448 to die for.  The problem is, they usually want the rest of us to die for
38454 People usually get what's coming to them ... unless it's been mailed.
38466 People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.
38490 People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
38518 Perfection is reached, not when there is no longer anything to add, but
38519 when there is no longer anything to take away.
38525 	to be working over in Jersey about a month ago.
38539 order to get power we would have to become very much like them.  (Lenin's
38546 Perilous to all of us are the devices of
38564 by many held to be inseparable.  These good people feel that there is an almost
38565 indecent nakedness, a reversion to barbarism, in saying No news is good news
38575 You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!
38578 Personifiers Unite!  You have nothing to lose but Mr. Dignity!
38580 Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted;
38581 persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting
38582 to find a plot in it will be shot.  By Order of the Author
38590 	A man who refuses to see the wolf until he seizes the seat of
38611 Peter's hungry, time to eat lunch.
38621 	In every hierarchy, each employee tends to rise to the level of
38642 Philadelphia is not dull -- it just seems so because it is next to
38648 	The ability to bear with calmness the misfortunes of our friends.
38651 	Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
38660 	that will bring it back to life).
38666 		   [Who has clearly never tried to use a PDP-10.  Ed.]
38668 Physically there is nothing to distinguish human society from the
38678 She left me not knowing what to do.
38682 The morning after blues, from my head down to my shoes,
38685 Turning back the pages to the times I love best,
38688 With knowing I got noone left to blame.
38689 Carefree Highway, I got to see you, my old flame...
38693 I guess it must be wanderlust or tryin' to get free,
38715 	An animal (Porcus omnivorous) closely allied to the human race
38730 And he laughing said to me:
38734 So I piped: he wept to hear.
38738 the infant on her head provoking her drunken father to drag the physician
38739 outside where he would beat him to death with a live ocelot.
38747 things to small animals.
38749 PISCES (Feb. 19 to Mar. 20)
38757 	It will go to someone in the office you dislike and will be the
38780 Only be sure to call it research.
38792 Plato, by the way, wanted to banish all poets from his proposed Utopia
38800 	tired of making love to each other.
38810 by asking me to do something for you.
38812 Please don't recommend me to your friends--
38813 it's difficult enough to cope with you alone.
38825 Please help keep the world clean: others may wish to use it.
38858 	Long to reign o'er us!
38894 Please try to limit the amount of "this room doesn't have any bazingas"
38896 out, we have a right to complain about atrocities, missing bazingas,
38902 PL/I -- "the fatal disease" -- belongs more to the problem set than to the
38907 of no interest except to fetishists. Like girdles, they attempt to contain
38914 (to Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius)
38944 	ask the host to quiet things down?
38949 	onto the grass, moaning.)  See?  Things are starting to wind
38952 Political history is far too criminal a subject to be a fit thing to
38972 "face," as in "tete-a-tete": head to head or face to face).  Hence
38976 Politicians are the same all over.  They promise to build a bridge even
38988 funds from the rich by promising to protect each from the other.
39004 Politics is like coaching a football team.  You have to be smart enough
39005 to understand the game but not smart enough to lose interest.
39011 Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession.  I have come to
39012 realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
39015 Politics is the ability to foretell what is going to happen tomorrow, next
39016 week, next month and next year.  And to have the ability afterwards to
39021 torches of martyrdom to the reformers of error.
39042 	package, you always get hold of the closed end and try to
39063 [The people like to be deceived.]
39078 Possessions increase to fill the space available for their storage.
39090 populated by soybean created imitations under the evil Dick Tater.  Thanks to
39092 line, "'Cause I'm just a stud spud!"
39095 fryer too long and was charbroiled carelessly returns to wreak havoc on
39106 	THE TATERNATOR: Cyborg spud returns from the future to present-day
39107 McDonald's restaurant to kill the potatoes (girl 'tater) who will give birth
39108 to the world's largest french fry (The Dark Powers of Burger King are clearly
39109 behind this).  Most quotable line: "Ah'll be baked..."
39112 rides into a town that's deprived of carbohydrates thanks to the evil takeover
39123 	as anyone lacks anything he would like to have.
39153 Power tends to corrupt, absolute power corrupts absolutely.
39166 sentiment to muddle their thinking.
39184 Pray to God, but keep rowing to shore.
39217 Pretend to spank me -- I'm a pseudo-masochist!
39223 	It's all a game -- play it to have fun.
39226 to see him work.
39258 Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
39263 Because she's unable to postulate how.
39275 Producers seem to be so prejudiced against actors who've had no training.
39277 for twelve years?  I'm still a professional trying to be the best actress
39281 Prof:    So the American government went to IBM to come up with a data
39290 has now dropped to a phenomenal 30%.
39299 	A magic spell cast over a computer allowing it to turn one's input
39300 	into error messages.  tr.v. To engage in a pastime similar to banging
39305 Programmers used to batch environments may find it hard to live
39306 without giant listings; we would find it hard to use them.
39314 Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to
39316 to produce bigger and better idiots.  So far, the Universe is winning.
39324 	and viruses invading the body and causing it to malfunction.
39344 	A system of moving incompetents up to the policy-making
39356 	We know it's true for n equal to 1.  Now assume that it's true
39372 Topics to be covered in future issues include proof by:
39378 	Changing all the 2's to _n's
39381 	"It stands to reason"
39384 but left to itself, a cold will hang on for a week.
39387 Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:
39403 CRN	Convert to Roman Numerals
39405 Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:
39420 Proposed Additions to the PDP-11 Instruction Set:
39431 SCRBL	Scribble to disk - faster than a write
39449 	prototype is not expected to work.
39460 	How long you live has nothing to do
39461 	with how long you are going to be dead.
39463 PS: This message is not intended to supply the minimum
39466 junk mail or promises to make explicit drugs fast.
39472 Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents'
39476 Psychics will soon lead dogs to your body.
39525 to spring on you and then look at you in a certain self-satisfied way
39526 to indicate that he thinks that you must think that he is by far the
39533 Pure drivel tends to drive ordinary drivel off the TV screen.
39553 Put a pot of chili on the stove to simmer.
39567 Try to get past logging in,
39586 Put your Nose to the Grindstone!
39613 Q:	How can we get the Beatles to reunite for one more concert?
39618 A:	You have to wait 22 months.
39627 Q:	How did the elephant get to the top of the oak tree?
39648 A:	While he's not looking, switch it to "local".
39677 A:	"How would you like to be buried with my people?"
39679 Q:	How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?
39683 Q:	How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
39684 A:	Two.  One to assure everyone that everything possible is being
39687 Q:	How many Californians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39688 A:	Five.  One to screw in the lightbulb and four to share the
39692 Q:	How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
39693 A:	Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all
39694 	those Californians trying to share the experience.
39696 Q:	How many college football players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39699 Q:	How many DEC repairmen does it take to fix a flat?
39700 A:	Five; four to hold the car up and one to swap tires.
39709 Q:	How many Democrats does it take to enjoy a good joke?
39727 Q:	How many existentialists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39728 A:	Two.  One to screw it in and one to observe how the lightbulb
39733 Q:	How many hardware engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
39736 Q:	How many system programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
39739 Q:	How many software engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?
39742 Q:	How many tech writers does it take to change a lightbulb?
39745 Q:	How many Harvard MBAs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39748 Q:	How many heterosexual males does it take to screw in a light bulb
39752 Q:	How many IBM 370s does it take to execute a job?
39753 A:	Four, three to hold it down, and one to rip its head off.
39755 Q:	How many IBM CPUs does it take to do a logical right shift?
39756 A:	33.  1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register.
39758 Q:	How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
39759 A:	Fifteen.  One to do it, and fourteen to write document number
39765 Q:	How many journalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39766 A:	Three.  One to report it as an inspired government program to bring
39767 	light to the people, one to report it as a diabolical government
39768 	plot to deprive the poor of darkness, and one to win a Pulitzer
39770 	assassin to break the bulb in the first place.
39772 Q:	How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
39775 Q:	How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
39778 agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
39779 from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
39787 limited to, the following.  The party of the first part shall, with or without
39798 step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation
39801 first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to
39804 Q:	How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
39806 	you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...
39808 Q:	How many marketing people does it take to change a lightbulb?
39809 A:	I'll have to get back to you on that.
39811 Q:	How many Martians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39814 Q:	How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39817 Q:	How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
39818 A:	One.  He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
39819 	to the earlier joke.
39821 Q:	How many members of the U.S.S. Enterprise does it take to change a
39823 A:	Seven.  Scotty has to report to Captain Kirk that the light bulb in
39825 	Bones to pronounce the bulb dead (although he'll immediately claim
39829 	the next uncharted planet, Alpha Regula IV, to procure a light bulb
39830 	from the natives, who, are friendly, but seem to be hiding something.
39832 	beam down to the planet, where the two security officers are promptly
39834 	As something begins to develop between the Captain and Yeoman Rand,
39837 	and races back to the planet in order to rescue Kirk et. al. who have
39842 Q:	How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
39843 A:	Three.  One to screw in the lightbulb and two to fend off all those
39844 	Californians trying to share the experience.
39846 Q:	How many people from New Jersey does it take to change a light
39848 A:	Three.  One to do it, one to watch, and the third to shoot the
39851 Q:	How many pre-med's does it take to change a lightbulb?
39852 A:	Five:  One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder
39855 Q:	How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
39857 	to really want to change.
39859 Q:	How many Romulans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
39860 A:	Twelve.  One to screw the light-bulb in, and eleven to
39863 	[Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans or else be ready for
39864 	a fight.  They consider it to be a disgrace, though it's
39867 Q:	How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
39868 A:	Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub
39873 Q:	How many WASPs does it take to change a lightbulb?
39876 Q:	How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
39880 Q:	How much does it cost to ride the Unibus?
39891 A:	Easy.  It's because they can't figure out how to get the little
39897 	believing that!  Very good of you to spot this.  You'll probably
39898 	be the only one to make the correction, so post as soon as you can.
39899 	No time to lose, so certainly don't wait a day, or check to see if
39902 	And it's not good enough to send the message by mail.  Since you're
39904 	to inform the whole net right away!
39908 Q:	What did one regular expression say to the other?
39922 A:	You don't know how much either of them mean to you until
39925 Q:	What's the advantage to being married to a blonde?
39932 Q:	What do little WASPs want to be when they grow up?
39969 A:	They forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
40001 Q:	What do you call the money you pay to the government when
40018 Q:	What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
40132 A:	You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.
40155 Q:	What's yellow, and equivalent to the Axiom of Choice?
40159 A:	To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!
40189 A:	To get to the other slide.
40192 A:	To get to the other slide.
40207 A:	To get to the middle.
40232 A:	One to do the reading, one to do the writing, and the other keeps
40248 Q:	Why don't lawyers go to the beach?
40249 A:	The cats keep trying to bury them.
40261 	function, the more expensive it becomes to compute?
40265 A:	It takes too long to retrain them.
40300 	have to stop and breathe."
40304 	"Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone."
40311 	I go to work."
40314 	"Everything I am today I owe to people, whom it is now
40315 	too late to punish."
40318 	"Flash!  Flash!  I love you! ...but we only have fourteen hours to
40329 	her to cook."
40362 	"I may not be able to walk, but I drive from the sitting position."
40384 	"I tried buying a goat instead of a lawn tractor; had to return
40385 	it though.  Couldn't figure out a way to connect the snow blower."
40388 	"I used to be an idealist, but I got mugged by reality."
40391 	"I used to be lost in the shuffle, now I just shuffle along with
40395 	"I used to get high on life but lately I've built up a resistance."
40398 	"I used to go to UCLA, but then my Dad got a job."
40401 	"I used to jog, but the ice kept bouncing out of my glass."
40408 	"I won't say he's untruthful, but his wife has to call the
40434 	"I'll listen to reason when it comes out on CD."
40457 	"It seems to me that your antenna doesn't bring in too many
40480 	"It's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if
40494 	"I've always wanted to work in the Federal Mint.  And then go on
40498 	"I've got one last thing to say before I go; give me back
40509 	"Just how much can I get away with and still go to heaven?"
40513 		-- Gary Gilmore, to his firing squad
40528 	"My ambition is to marry a rich woman who's too proud to let
40551 	"On a scale of 1 to 10 I'd say...  oh, somewhere in there."
40583 	I do what I get paid to do."
40586 	"The baby was so ugly they had to hang a pork chop around its
40587 	neck to get the dog to play with it."
40590 	"The elder gods went to Suggoth and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."
40597 	"The only easy way to tell a hamster from a gerbil is that the
40604 	"This is a one line proof... if we start sufficiently far to the
40636 	"You want me to put *holes* in my ears and hang things from them?
40647 	and add to the cost of its manufacture or design.
40651 a production line to make sure that at least one out of 100 works.
40656 Quantum Mechanics is a lovely introduction to Hilbert Spaces!
40668 devote more time to impending litigation, some of which might emanate
40669 from a recent statement he made comparing New York Mayor Ed Koch to
40672 reached for comment, but we chose not to listen.
40675 question = ( to ) ? be : ! be;
40682 Question: Is it better to abide by the rules until
40706 attempt to use it.
40722 	1. a unit of weight equal to 13 poiuyt avoirdupois (or 1.69
40754 It is a mistake to let any mechanical object
40774 Do you use the "greasy kid's stuff" to stick down your cowlick?
40775 Do you wear a "nerd-pack" in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
40790 magazines right next to "People" and "Time" in the airport store.  Does it
40793 when "How to Avoid Probate" was published?  Are they taking no-fault
40796 A&P checkout counters.  Who's going to be impressed with us electrical
40814 	A picture is worth 10K words -- but only those to describe
40824 Hold a candle to the night,
40842 Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.
40847 value but they find it difficult to actually program in it, as it is
40848 much too large to implement.  Most computer scientists don't notice
40849 this because they are still arguing over what else to add to ADA.
40869 future hardware.  Nobody trusts them to write specs for anything homo sapiens
40870 will ever be able to fit on a single planet.
40874 trained.  They wear neckties and carefully line up pencils on otherwise
40882 hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
40891 you to change clothes.  Mountain climbing is OK, and real programmers
40892 wear their climbing boots to work in case a mountain should suddenly
40903 can't decide whether to write in COBOL or FORTRAN.
40920 computers (you know no one's going to trip over something and kill your
40921 DFA in mid-transit), except that they need 8 megabytes to run their
40924 Real software engineers work from 9 to 5, because that is the way the
40929 	Here and now, as opposed to fake time, which only occurs there
40933 afraid to break your face.
40954 to programming.  3. A universe in which the standard dress is shirt and
40955 tie and in which a person's working hours are defined as 9 to 5.
40971 Reality is an obstacle to hallucination.
41012 Recent research has tended to show that the Abominable No-Man
41016 Recently deceased blues guitarist Stevie Ray Vaughan "comes to" after
41017 his death.  He sees Jimi Hendrix sitting next to him, tuning his guitar.
41018 "Holy cow," he thinks to himself, "this guy is my idol."  Over at the
41019 microphone, about to sing, are Jim Morrison and Janis Joplin, and the
41021 Ray's thinking, "Oh, wow!  I've died and gone to rock and roll heaven."
41023 "'Close to You'.  Hit it, boys!"
41027 	The purgatory where office visitors are condemned to spend
41034 lose your job.  These economic downturns are very difficult to predict,
41042 	(3) Allow 3 cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the
41044 	(4) Allow four liters of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it.
41055 It used to point to me,
41069 administrative overhead continues to grow at a steady rate.
41074 	Mathematical techniques for trying to understand why things are
41078 	A body on vacation tends to remain on vacation unless acted upon by
41085 	If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
41088 knowledge of how to live, nor the smallest instinct about when to die.
41092 has no need to put up a front of any kind.
41108 Rembrandt is not to be compared in the painting of character with our
41158 you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
41161 Remember that there is an outside world to see and enjoy.
41181 Remember to say hello to your bank teller.
41186 Remember: use logout to logout.
41198 does not necessarily allow the camel to walk again.
41206 Repel them.  Repel them.  Induce them to relinquish the spheroid.
41218 	A writer who guesses his way to the truth and dispels it with a
41225 the country folk in my state like to say.  It goes like this: "You can
41228 of chemical pollutant in their drinking water.  That is why I pledge to
41229 do all that I can to protect the environment of this great nation of
41237 Reporter (to Mahatma Gandhi):
41247 Republican boys date Democratic girls.  They plan to marry
41248 Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
41260 Research is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works
41264 Research is to see what everybody else has seen,
41284 is to take the blame for your mistakes.  If they're smart, that is.
41337 proclaimed, and adhered to as absolute truth to be undeniably,
41339 becomes advantageous to assume otherwise, maybe.
41346 He lied to his wife, his family, his friends, his colleagues in the Congress,
41357 Croupier (handing money to Renault):
41363 Boy Scout had to double as the town drunk.
41390 	Never having to say you're sorry.
41396 Romance, like alcohol, should be enjoyed, but should not be allowed to
41409 Romeo was restless, he was ready to kill,
41439 	$300,000 to $400,000, but they don't.  Why?  Because they can
41445 	If there is a wrong way to do something, most people will do it
41449 	In a crisis that forces a choice to be made among alternative
41450 courses of action, people tend to choose the worst possible course.
41459 	[A "hooker" is part of the scrum.  Thought you'd want to know.  Ed.]
41462 	Too heavy to lift.
41472 be liable to a fine of one pound.  Any animal leading a blind person
41473 shall be deemed to be a cat.
41476 	Contrary to what you may have heard, silence of those present is
41491 content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.
41496 	When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep
41504 	(2)  When the boss is wrong, refer to rule 1.
41523  6:	Verbs has got to agree with their subjects.
41525  8:	Don't write run-on sentences when they are hard to read.
41527 10:	Try to not ever split infinitives.
41528 11:	It is important to use your apostrophe's correctly.
41529 12:	Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
41537 	Avoid run-on sentences they are hard to read.  Don't use no double
41545 us to avoid archaisms.  Steer clear of incorrect forms of verbs that have
41548 avoid awkward or affected alliteration.  Don't string too many prepositional
41558 	(6)  Really taste your food.  It may take several portions to
41561 	     for example, the texture of a turnip to that of a
41581 		-- Tris Speaker, commenting on Babe Ruth's plan to change
41582 		   from being a pitcher to an outfielder.
41615 	A sadist refusing to whip a masochist.
41623 	Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.
41639 to convert its gigantic Krasnoyarsk radar in Siberia into an international
41640 space research facility in response to U.S. complaints that the radar would
41647 	tendency to rely on luck since you lack talent.  The majority
41651 SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)
41653 	ulcers.  Drink milk.  Try not to be your usual offensive and
41657 	Your efforts to help a little old lady cross a street will
41659 	impulse you have to push her out into traffic.
41661 Said the attractive, cigar-smoking housewife to her girl-friend: "I
41678 Sally:	C'mon, Ted, all I'm asking you to do is share your feelings
41681 		to share.  We're trained to protect ourselves by not
41683 		sharing everything with you, you could hang me out to dry.
41685 Ted:	"Sharing"?  "Trust"?  You're really asking me to sail into
41700 Norm:  How to sit.  How to drink.  Want to quiz me?
41730 Sam:  What do you say to a beer, Normie?
41737 Norm: That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.
41750 	to be the guinea pig.
41759 they boo you, you know they mean *you*.  Music, that's what it is to me.
41763 San Francisco isn't what it used to be, and it never was.
41769 Sanity and insanity overlap a fine grey line.
41795 He must be a dope fiend to get you up tight.
41885 Still you have my heart to wear.
41896 Say "twenty-three-skiddoo" to logout.
41917 	I'm sorry you've seen me, Billy.  Now I'll have to kill you.
41926 	The window shade that allows itself to be pulled down,
41949 The servants gone to a distant planet.
41952 I want to go, oh, oh, oh.
41970 Science is to computer science as hydrodynamics is to plumbing.
42001 Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.
42024 SCORPIO (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)
42027 	to throw up.  Knock it off.
42030 	You will receive word today that you are eligible to win a million
42031 	dollars in prizes.  It will be from a magazine trying to get you to
42032 	subscribe, and you're just dumb enough to think you've got a chance
42033 	to win.  You never learn.
42040 to have been wrong in the first place.
42044 impossible to fit the original quantity back into the equation.
42051 Kirk:	Mr. Sulu, go to pass two.
42052 Sulu:	Aye aye, sir, going to pass two.
42073 	If there are two possible ways to spell a person's name, you
42077 	If there is only one way to spell a name, you will spell it
42082 	distractingly attractive student in the class will sit next to you.
42122 was going on.  One of the onlookers explained to him that there was a Mooney
42123 who had immersed himself in gasoline and was threatening to set fire to
42124 himself to demonstrate his commitment to the Rev. Moon.  The man gasped and
42125 asked what was being done to defuse the obviously dangerous situation.
42144 mountain, gaining speed, but finally managed to grind to a halt, more by
42145 luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged
42153 Seems like this duck waddles into a pharmacy, waddles up to the prescription
42158 you like me to put it on your bill?"
42162 to turn it into a thriving enterprise.  The fields are grown over with weeds,
42164 During his first day of work, the town preacher stops by to bless the man's
42165 work, praying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your
42167 	A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer.
42177 and starts talking to a rather grizzled old man sitting by the cash
42201 Seems this fellow was suffering from terrific headaches, and went to his
42204 months, the headaches became so intense that the man agreed to the operation.
42206 and he decided to purchase a new wardrobe to make himself feel better.
42220 you *have* to wear a 34.  Otherwise, you'll get these *awful* headaches."
42245 Tipper Gore:	"No, there is nothing that would suggest that to me."
42260 Sendmail may be safely run set-user-id to root.
42265 	with whom one happens to disagree.
42269 In fact he is further to the right than General Batista.
42296 retired to the lobby of the hotel for a little refreshment.  In the lobby,
42300 guard in the lobby turned to another guard and commented, "If there's
42330 if you ain't got one to put in your belly, is extremely important.
42373 always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary?
42377 pietists to oppress the human race.
42385 	A rabbi, to show his humility before God, cries out in the
42386 middle of a service, "Oh, Lord, I am nobody!"  The cantor, not to be
42389 am nobody!"  The rabbi turns to the cantor and says, "Look who thinks
42391 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
42395 	that is beginning to improve.
42407 	want to use it.
42415 for stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having
42416 the unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours after use.
42419 not because it was hazardous to the wearers but because of "the
42437 She lives like a bat but she's always a hacker to me.
42438 		-- Apologies to Billy Joel
42445 She is descended from a long line that her mother listened to.
42460 She missed an invaluable opportunity to give him
42467 She ran the gamut of emotions from "A" to "B".
42471 Let 'im hear me, I say.  If he ever listened to poor colored
42479 Leading me to that third rail shock
42494 'Cause I'm giving it all to Leyna
42524 turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a
42532 him a great deal of pains to become what we now see him.  Such an excess
42538 She's learned to say things with her eyes
42544 The kind you don't take home to mother.
42556 Shift to the left,
42557 Shift to the right,
42561 Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.
42565 laid to rest after a eulogy by Jackie Collins, fellow member of SAFE [Society
42574 it was to "get it together" again, presumably referring to having her now dead
42577 Sho' they got to have it against the law.  Shoot, ever'body git high,
42587 Show me a good sportsman and I'll show you a player I'm looking to trade.
42624 Silence can be the biggest lie of all.  We have a responsibility to speak
42625 up; and whenever the occasion calls for it, we have a responsibility to
42650 And when your father gets home, you are going to get a good licking!"  BUT!
42696 having nothing to do with good or bad, acceptance or rejection, one may well
42707 Is talking to my shoe.
42713 Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're
42736 the days of your life.  Never complains.  Looks up to you in every way.
42753 	That quantity which, when multiplied by, divided by, added to,
42767 to work.
42769 Slaves are generally expected to sing as well as to work ... I did not,
42776 testimony against slavery, and a prayer to God for deliverance from
42790 	    attracted to light objects, and the light kind, which is
42791 	    attracted to dark objects.
42814 Smartness runs in my family.  When I went to school I was so smart my
42828 	Anyone wishing to smoke, however, must file, in triplicate, the
42844 	returning to the refrigerator in hopes that something new will
42848 Snakes.  Why did it have to be snakes?
42862 mails the exposed film to a cut rate photo service.  It takes weeks
42863 for the developed film to arrive in the mail, but that is all right
42867 So as your consumer electronics adviser, I am advising you to donate
42868 your current VCR to a grate resident, who will laugh sardonically and
42869 hurl it into a dumpster.  Then I want you to go out and purchase a vast
42882 go to work?
42889 purpose is to destroy.  The noble: who, even when fallen, retain a vestige of
42891 Theirs is a strength supreme... theirs is the strength -- to restore.
42900 way, to do evil than to do nothing: at least we exist.
42903 So from the depths of its enchantment, Terra was able to calculate a course
42904 of action.  Here at last was an opportunity to consort with Dirbanu on a
42909 the knife in our teeth) and ask for crumbs from their table (in order to
42922 large as it needs to be?
42924 So little time, so little to do.
42928 to sell the family parrot to the town gossip.
42966 to do
42985 So she went into the garden to cut a cabbage leaf to make an apple pie; and
42989 himself, with the little round button at top, and they all fell to playing
43000 Blue skies from pain?			Did they get you to trade
43017 Santa Claus is coming, to town.
43029 the instant.  So go to sleep, Antonio, your thread could break any moment
43031 eternity, the anti-time.  So go to sleep...
43044 	You have two cows.  Give one to your neighbour.
43047 	Give both to the government.  The government gives you milk.
43051 	You have two cows.  Give milk to the government.
43065 bound to occur.
43070 Software production is assumed to be a line function, but it is run
43074 Software suppliers are trying to make their software packages more
43075 "user-friendly".  ...  Their best approach, so far, has been to take all
43079 Soldiers who wish to be a hero
43081 But those who wish to be civilians,
43088 optical power to observe them over the horizon.
43091 Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed,
43092 and some few to be chewed and digested.
43105 Some don't prefer the pursuit of happiness to the happiness of pursuit.
43111 Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them.
43129 that they hire detectives to find out the reason for it.
43131 Some men are so macho they'll get you pregnant just to kill a rabbit.
43138 Some men love truth so much that they seem to be in continual fear
43174 Some of them want to use you,
43175 Some of them want to be used by you,
43179 Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry.
43182 Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to
43187 government would have to intervene: it would form a cabinet-level
43189 billions of tax dollars to buy Barbie dolls and electronic games, which
43193 and go to a mall.
43210 but at least you only have to climb it once.
43212 Some people have a way about them that seems to say: "If I have
43213 only one life to live, let me live it as a jerk."
43231 Some people only open up to tell you that they're closed.
43233 Some people pray for more than they are willing to work for.
43242 Some performers on television appear to be horrible people, but when
43243 you finally get to know them in person, they turn out to be even
43247 Some points to remember [about animals]:
43249 (1) Don't go to sleep under big animals, e.g., elephants, rhinoceri,
43263 Some programming languages manage to absorb change, but withstand
43273 But if it had to perish twice
43283 Some things have to be believed to be seen.
43288 Somebody ought to cross ball point pens with coat hangers so that the
43294 When he ran onto the road, and tried to argue with a truck.
43303 Be sure to keep him in.
43304 Don't let him argue with a truck,	If he tries to play
43305 The truck is bound to win.		On the road way
43319 Someday somebody has got to decide whether the
43323 probably be one of those deep, eerie ones that slowly builds to a
43342 City.  One is "Hey, taxi."  Two is, "What train do I take to get to
43353 Someone will try to honk your nose today.
43358  2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover.  She's going to blow.
43364  6 (envious): Oooo, I wish I were you.  Gosh.  To be able to smell your
43378 Something unpleasant is coming when men are anxious to tell the truth.
43385 and ask you to move out of the way because it still isn't your turn.
43391 Sometimes a man who deserves to be looked down upon because he is a
43396 smiling and shaking their hands, I want to kick them.
43399 Sometimes even to live is an act of courage.
43403 Looking at me, I got nothin' to say.
43407 Sometimes I get the feeling that I went to a party on Perry Lane in 1962, and
43432 SOMETIMES THE BEAUTY OF THE WORLD is so overwhelming, I just want to throw
43437 Sometimes the best medicine is to stop taking something.
43441 Lately it occurs to me
43449 like I've just got to bite a cat!  I feel like if I don't bite a cat
43455 to me, it's all I can do to keep from telling her.
43462 Sometimes you get an almost irresistible urge to go on living.
43467 woman giving birth to a child.  She must be found and stopped.
43470 Somewhere, something incredible is waiting to be known.
43473 Son, someday a man is going to walk up to you with a deck of cards on which
43474 the seal is not yet broken.  And he is going to offer to bet you that he can
43480 	"They're putting dimes in the hole in my head to see the change
43486 Sorry.  I forget what I was going to say.
43490 Sorry never means having you're say to love.
43496 road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.
43497 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
43499 Space is to place as eternity is to time.
43502 Space tells matter how to move and matter tells space how to curve.
43506 Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds; to seek out new life
43507 and new civilizations; to boldly go where no man has gone before.
43514 Spare no expense to save money on this one.
43522 Speak roughly to your little boy,
43524 He only does it to annoy
43529 I speak severely to my boy,
43537 Speak roughly to your little VAX,
43544 I speak severely to my VAX,
43565 would give their lives to lay them down.  Thou saw'st the locked lovers when
43566 leaping from their flaming ship; heart to heart they sank beneath the exulting
43567 wave; true to each other, when heaven seemed false to them.  Thou saw'st the
43571 have borne a righteous husband to outstretched, longing arms.  O head! thou has
43572 seen enough to split the planets and make an infidel of Abraham, and not one
43579 the middle third?  Sure!  Why not?  Multiply a character string times a
43580 bit string and assign the result to a float decimal?  Go ahead!  Free a
43605 to communicate with the people they love; Husbands and wives who can't
43610 he can do is to Shut Up!
43624 Speed upon county roads will be limited to ten miles an hour unless the
43625 motorist sees a bailiff who does not appear to have had a drink in 30 days,
43626 when the driver will be permitted to make what he can.
43630 	The visibility of an error is inversely proportional to the
43649 attack are 13562190123 to 1, Captain.
43669 Here's a toasting to his health --
43684 	The principles we use to reject other people's code.
43694 they give them "just one more reason" to stay in and study every night.
43697 drivel; Star Trek can turn your brains to pur'ee of bat guano; and the
43699 take you all on, one-by-one or all in a bunch to back it up!"
43708 State license plates we'd like to see:
43718 State license plates we'd like to see:
43732 State license plates we'd like to see:
43754 Statistics means never having to say you're certain.
43764 Stayed in bed all morning just to pass the time,
43769 Though we really did try to make it,
43772 It used to be so easy living here with you,
43773 You were light and breezy and I knew just what to do
43785 long as there is a regular progression of stimuli to get your mental
43792 Steckel's Rule to Success:
43800 	Never test for an error condition you don't know how to
43807 	The sooner you fall behind, the more time you will have to catch up.
43813 But I swear to you, before this day is out,
43816 Still a few bugs in the system... Someday I have to tell you about Uncle
43817 Nahum from Maine, who spent years trying to cross a jellyfish with a shad
43824 Say, do you have a map to the next joint?
43827 		-- Guide to VAX/VMS Security, Sep. 1984
43845 Stop searching.  Happiness is right next to you.
43850 Strange things are done to be number one
43860 The movers came to crate the frame;
43862 The traffic folk thought it a joke	The man spoke true, and thus to you
43882 and burnout, keep stress out of your life.  Give it to others instead.  Learn
43883 the "Gaslight" treatment, the "Are you talking to me?" technique, and the
43885 implication.  Advance to manipulation and humiliation.  Above all, relax
43889 real understanding.  An egoless acceptance of stuckness is a key to an
43895 	What we have to do now is fight the solutions.
43912 Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your
43936 Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
43958 Suddenly, Professor Liebowitz realizes he has come to the seminar
43983 (Sung to the tune of "The Impossible Dream" from MAN OF LA MANCHA)
44005 none, and denial amounts to rejecting evidence of regularities,
44010 Supervisee: Ah! Well, what do we mean by "to understand" in the context of
44037 Support your right to arm bears!!
44039 Support your right to bare arms!
44045 analogy, the answer is shattering.  Today you would be able to buy a
44046 Rolls-Royce for $2.75, it would do three million miles to the gallon, and
44047 it would deliver enough power to drive the Queen Elizabeth II.  And if you
44054 Sure, Reagan has promised to take senility tests.
44061 Surly to bed, surly to rise, makes you about average.
44073 Surprise your boss.  Get to work on time.
44086 	The language used by the National Enquirer to print their
44102 And her voice is changing -- from "No" to "Yes".
44104 Swerve me?  The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails,
44105 whereon my soul is grooved to run.  Over unsounded gorges, through
44113 Symbolic representation of quantitative entities is doomed to its rightful
44117 Symptom:		Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction, beer is
44122 Symptom:		Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction,
44124 Fault:			Mouth not open when drinking or glass applied to
44127 			Drink as many as needed to perfect drinking technique.
44135 Symptom:		You awaken to find your bed hard, cold and wet.
44138 Action Required:	Check your watch to see if bars are open yet.  If not,
44139 			treat yourself to a lie-in.
44150 Action Required:	Go stand next to nearest dog.  After a while complain
44151 			to the owner about its lack of house training and
44162 Action Required:	Find out if you are taken to another bar.  If not,
44168 Fault:			Excessive air turbulence, perhaps due to air-hockey
44181 			drinking arm, stay put.  If not, get someone to help
44182 			you get up, lash yourself to bar.
44193 System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug.
44216 	are to receive from your boss.
44230 Tact consists in knowing how far to go in going too far.
44236 Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a
44245 he gets speared is when he raises to spout.
44247 Take an astronaut to launch.
44271 needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.
44274 Take time to reflect on all the things you have, not as a result of your
44276 have given them to you.
44281 Take your dying with some seriousness, however.  Laughing on the way to
44286 Take your Senator to lunch this week.
44289 take what happens either to yourself or your work seriously.
44292 Taking drugs in the 60's, I tried to reach Nirvana, but all I ever
44298 Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
44307 Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
44334 TAURUS (Apr. 20 to May 20)
44340 	Take advantage of this opportunity to get a little extra sleep,
44341 	because you're going to miss the bus again today anyway.  You will
44342 	decide to lose weight today, just like yesterday.
44351 Taxes are going up so fast, the government is likely to price itself
44363 Today used whimsically to describe the aftermath of a bogon attack. Think
44369 Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and,
44370 when they grow up, they won't be able to edge a car onto a freeway.
44375 	Having someone to blame.
44377 Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.
44390 is Tao -- beyond all technique! When I first began to program I would see
44393 being exists in a formless void.  My senses are idle.  My spirit, free to
44396 slow down, I watch silently.  Then I change a single line of code and the
44411 Tehee quod she, and clapte the wyndow to.
44417 already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
44427 	hard enough to look up the number on your own and instead put the
44445 		-- attributed to both Fred Allen and Ernie Kovacs
44456 to touch to be sure.
44464 Tell me what to think!!!
44471 	Nuclear fusion makes stars to shine,
44476 Telling the truth to people who misunderstand you is generally
44485 Ten of the meanest cons in the state pen met in the corner of the yard to
44487 	When his turn came to shoot, Dutsky nervously plunked down his
44489 seven showed up, but it quickly changed to horror as third die slipped out
44490 of his sleeve and fell to the ground with the two others.  No one said a
44492 and handed the others to Dutsky.
44499 way of telling you to stop writing.
44512 Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme
44513 Your friends to death before their time.
44515 Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.
44525 to risk offending God's grandmother.
44529 pagan, and he abandoned himself to the lascivious life of his city until
44535 certain because it is impossible."  Thanks to the acuteness of his mind,
44562 Texas A&M football coach Jackie Sherrill went to the office of the Dean
44564 "My players are just too stupid for me to deal with them", he told the
44565 unbelieving dean.  At this point, one of his players happened to enter
44567 told the player to run over to his office to see if he was in.  "OK, Coach",
44575 Texas law forbids anyone to have a pair of pliers in his possession.
44577 Text processing has made it possible to right-justify any idea, even
44595 So I decided to stick to my good old philosophy: "if it has tits,
44622 sympathy as a liberal, inevitably turns out to be one of the most
44632 hardware.  This produces an obvious extension to the concept of MONITORS.
44633 A liveware monitor is a person dedicated to the task of ensuring that the
44635 REAL-TIME EXECUTIONER to delete liveware that adversely affects ...
44644 remarkable.  Amid all the scolding, to be able to think!  But he could not
44662 thing loves them.  And after awhile you want to destroy whatever that
44666 "That's no answer," Job said, "And for someone who's supposed to be
44687 returning to Capistrano, but the sound of a bat on a ball.
44695 It's a rather pleasant experience to be alone in a bank at night.
44703 	with a bottom line divisible by 5.
44708 Don't ever do this to my eyes again.
44728 The adjuration to be "normal" seems shockingly repellent to me; I see neither
44729 hope nor comfort in sinking to that low level.  I think it is ignorance that
44730 makes people think of abnormality only with horror and allows them to remain
44731 undismayed at the proximity of "normal" to average and mediocre.  For surely
44736 does not need to grieve over having an ugly one back home.
44749 The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that
44753 The aim of science is to seek the simplest explanations of complex
44758 belongs to the roommate with the earliest class.
44764 The algorithm to do that is extremely nasty.  You might want to mug
44773 fit to create Frenchmen in the image of Englishmen.
44777 to form on teeth around 4:00 PM in the afternoon.
44801 of 365 raspberries blown in very quick succession to the tune of "Camptown
44802 Races".  Nobody has to stand up for it, nobody has to listen to it, and,
44803 even better, nobody has to play it.
44809 		-- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana
44811 The Angels want to wear my red shoes.
44832 publishing our award goes to editor, R. L. K., [...] for his unrivaled alle-
44833 giance without variation to the statement: "Personally I'd love to do it,
44834 we'd ALL love to do it.  But we're not going to do it.  It's not the kind of
44835 book our house knows how to handle."  Our superior performance award in the
44836 field of advertising goes to media executive, E. L. M., [...] for the continu-
44840 courageous holding action in the field of industry goes to supervisor, R. S.,
44843 time--"  I would like to conclude this meeting with a verse written specially
44845 then, fully expressive of the emotion most close to all our hearts --
44847 		And dare not stray to ideas new,
44859 desert, to be then doused with holy water from altitude by
44864 The answer to the question of Life, the Universe, and Everything is...
44869 The answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything was
44874 and multiply."  Several months pass.  Noah decides to check up on the animals.
44878 Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy.  Noah asks, "Want to tell me how
44880 logs to multiply."
44888 The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion.
44908 metals, etc., which it were tedious to enumerate, we gather that the number
44910 	Moreover, the satellites are invisible to the naked eye and
44932 one graveyard to another.
44957 The bank called to tell me that I'm overdrawn,
44970 difficult to park in.  Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots,
44971 which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but --
44973 RULES.  You're allowed to do anything.  You can drive as fast as you
44977 and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault,
44992 The Seafood Lover's Patty would be any patties that were starting to
44993 emit a serious aroma.  Patties that were too rank even to be Seafood
45028 The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
45044 The best executive is one who has sense enough to pick good people to do
45045 what he wants done, and self-restraint enough to keep from meddling with
45066 The best rebuttal to this kind of statistical argument came from the
45074 The best that we can do is to be kindly and helpful toward our friends and
45075 fellow passengers who are clinging to the same speck of dirt while we are
45076 drifting side by side to our common doom.
45080 company arrives, all you have to do is straighten your tie.
45090 The best way to accelerate a Macintoy is at 9.8 meters per second, squared.
45092 The best way to avoid responsibility is to say, "I've got responsibilities."
45094 The best way to get rid of worries is to let them die of neglect.
45096 The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
45098 The best way to make a fire with two sticks is to make sure one of them
45102 The best way to preserve a right is to exercise it, and the right to
45107 when it gets down to the reality of it, the simplest and most straightforward
45123 The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments
45124 to heterosexuals.  That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals.
45128 never give assent to the long complicated statements of Christian dogma.
45133 	Are we beginning all over again to produce our credentials?  Do
45134 we, like some people, need letters of introduction to you, or from you?
45149 themselves to be so totally eclipsed by the females.  Why do they tolerate
45160 The biggest mistake you can make is to believe that you are
45166 The Bird of Time has but a little way to fly ...
45170 The black bear used to be one of the most commonly seen large animals
45172 and tourist handouts.  This bear has learned to open car doors in
45173 Yosemite, where damage to automobiles caused by bears runs into the tens
45174 of thousands of dollars a year.  Campaigns to bearproof all garbage
45195 but your brain wasn't reacting yet to let you know.
45204 you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get to work.
45207 	To determine how long it will take to write and debug a
45209 convert to the next higher units.
45219 of a mountain or in the petals of a flower.  To think otherwise is to demean
45220 the Buddha -- which is to demean oneself.
45223 The buffalo isn't as dangerous as everyone makes him out to be.
45228 The bugs you have to avoid are the ones that give the user not only
45229 the inclination to get on a plane, but also the time.
45240 Bulwer-Lytton.  This was the line that opened his novel, "Paul Clifford,"
45241 written in 1830.  The full line reveals why it is so bad:
45249 The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding
45272 The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly
45284 It makes a bond, to correspond,
45285 From C to shining C.
45286 		-- Prof. Frank Westheimer, to "America the Beautiful"
45296 The chains of marriage are so heavy that it takes two to carry them, and
45300 The chicken that clucks the loudest is the one most likely to show up
45313 The church saves sinners, but science seeks to stop their manufacture.
45328 private wealth was consecrated to the specious demands of charity and devotion;
45333 The climate of Bombay is such that its inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
45335 The closest to perfection a person ever comes
45345 The college graduate is presented with a sheepskin to cover his
45352 	lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most
45354 2:	Cause thou the switch that supplieth large quantities of juice to
45357 3:	Prove to thyself that all circuits that radiateth, and upon
45359 	thee to a radio frequency potential and causeth thee to make like
45377 	her in certain ways not generally acceptable to thee.
45381 	sees fit to end thy misery and drag thee into his fold.
45386 	commence to glow in the dark like a lightning bug, and thy wife be
45388 10:	Commit thou to memory all the words of the prophets which are
45404 50's and paying them in the 60's and 70's to bring their marketing into
45408 The computer is to the information industry roughly what the
45409 central power station is to the electrical industry.
45417 The concept seems to be clear by now.  It has been
45431 subversives.  We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up
45447 The correct way to punctuate a sentence that starts: "Of course it is
45448 none of my business, but --" is to place a period after the word "but."
45450 Cutting his throat is only a momentary pleasure and is bound to get you
45464 female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
45466 would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
45476 ceremoniously handed it to the defendant.
45483 The cow is nothing but a machine which makes grass fit for us people to eat.
45495 hardly be propagated.  If the doctrine be admitted, rulers have only to
45498 Cling to this as the bulwark of all our rights and privileges.
45502 words to a song -- it's that they know them *all*.
45511 The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern.
45512 Every class is unfit to govern.
45517 Hiring David Copperfield to pretend to saw the missiles in half will not
45518 be permitted...  In order to reduce risk of accidental war, both sides
45519 agree to ban the popular but dangerous "Simon Says" training drill at
45525 The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning,
45535 this artificial scaffolding and restore to us the primitive and genuine
45541 The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction
45542 to a tedious book.
45544 The day-to-day travails of the IBM programmer are so amusing to most of
45545 us who are fortunate enough never to have been one -- like watching
45546 Charlie Chaplin trying to cook a shoe.
45555 The decision doesn't have to be logical; it was unanimous.
45565 proportional to the level of management.
45573 and I'll pass the tradition along to you," he said.  "At the first sign
45576 Good luck."  The new manager returned to his office and tossed the envelopes
45591 The descent to Hades is the same from every place.
45597 The devil finds work for idle circuits to do.
45621 understand well enough to explain to a computer.  Art is everything else.
45625 thinking everyone is out to get you.  That's normal -- they are.  Paranoia
45630 called.  Cats take a message and get back to you.
45635 that legal separation gives the man time to hide his money.
45638 is that reality has so little to recommend it.
45646 Sentiment is when a driver swerves out of the way to avoid hitting a
45651 The difference between sentiment and sentimentality is easy to see.  When
45653 swerve to avoid the pet and that causes you to kill pedestrians, THAT is
45682 naturalists have been unable to find a living specimen of either.
45697 		-- Arthur Naiman, "Every Goy's Guide to Yiddish"
45699 The distinction between true and false appears to become
45703 The District of Columbia has a law forbidding you to exert pressure on
45717 The duck hunter trained his retriever to walk on water.  Eager to show
45718 off this amazing accomplishment, he asked a friend to go along on his
45721 duck and returned it to his master.
45741 The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and
45745 teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
45747 I would not interfere with any one's religion, either to strengthen it
45748 or to weaken it.  I am not able to believe one's religion can affect his
45750 But it may easily be a great comfort to him in this life -- hence it is a
45751 valuable possession to him.
45754 end, therefore I am not able to believe in it. To chasten a man in order
45755 to perfect him might be reasonable enough; to annihilate him when he shall
45757 enough; but to roast him forever for the mere satisfaction of seeing him
45770 The elder gods went to Yuggoth, and all you got was this lousy fortune.
45777 to do the work of a man.  The marketing division of Sirius Cybernetics
45779 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing division of the
45781 first against the wall when the revolution comes", with a footnote to effect
45785 had the good fortune to fall through a time warp from a thousand years in
45790 The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
45793 The end of labor is to gain leisure.
45800 symposium to follow.
45816 their children to speak it.
45823 The entire work force of the Communist countries is subjected to periodic
45826 before, tried hard to weed out "radishes" (red outside, white inside) from
45837 	"Have you ever been to the West?"
45848 [The ERA] encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children,
45853 The error of youth is to believe that intelligence is a substitute
45854 for experience, while the error of age is to believe experience is
45865 is the most likely to be correct.
45868 The eye is a menace to clear sight, the ear is a menace to subtle hearing,
45869 the mind is a menace to wisdom, every organ of the senses is a menace to its
45871 of the Northern Ocean, happened once to meet in the realm of Chaos, the god
45873 what they could do to repay his kindness.  They had noticed that, whereas
45875 so on, Chaos had none.  So they decided to make the experiment of boring holes
45893 a widespread belief is more often likely to be foolish than sensible.
45896 The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a
45911 The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.
45919 The fashionable drawing rooms of London have always been happy to accept
45920 outsiders -- if only on their own, albeit undemanding terms.  That is to
45960 suit in the city.  Colleges may be to blame.  English majors are encouraged,
45961 I know, to hate chemistry and physics, and to be proud because they are not
45964 and they are squeamish about technology to this very day.  So it is natural
45965 for them to despise science fiction.
45969 wanted to hear a dumb-jock joke.
45970 	"Hey, buddy," the bartender replied, "you see those two guys next to
45971 you?  They used to be with the Chicago Bears.  The two dudes behind you made
45972 the U.S. Olympic wrestling team.  And for you information, I used to play
45974 	"Forget it," the customer said.  "I don't want to explain it five
45977 "The feminist agenda," Pat Robertson observed in a recent letter to his
45979 anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their
46008 to man are contained in it.
46018 capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a most
46021 The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
46031 foul play.  Then the rest of the King's relatives began to drop dead
46033 dishrags and some succumbed to food poisoning.  A few were found
46035 and beaten to death with a pot roast.  At least three appear to have
46038 in Minas Troney who was either eligible or willing to wear the accursed
46041 a lineal descendant of Carotene's returns to reclaim his rightful
46062 The first riddle I ever heard, one familiar to almost every Jewish
46063 child, was propounded to me by my father:
46077 	"Right, " smiled my father.  "I just put that in to make it
46081 The first Rotarian was the first man to call John the Baptist "Jack."
46084 The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
46135 appropriate to view the host area as a four dimensional hyper-cube, the
46138 Referring to our hyper-cube analogy, the set of potentially accessible
46139 blocks form a line parallel to the track axis.  This line moves
46140 parallel to the sector axis, wrapping around when it reaches the edge
46148 	1. You can't push on a string.
46169 The founding fathers tried to set up a judicial system where the accused
46170 received a fair trial, not a system to ensure an acquittal on technicalities.
46174 due to levitation.
46175 	Teleporting to hell via a teleportation trap will no longer occur
46193 The function of the expert is not to be more right than other people,
46194 but to be wrong for more sophisticated reasons.
46203 The future is going to be boring.
46206 The future isn't what it used to be.  (It never was.)
46230 The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.
46241 The giraffe you thought you offended last week is willing to be nuzzled
46247 The girl who stoops to conquer usually wears a low-cut dress.
46249 The girl who swears no one has ever made love to her has a right to swear.
46253 That seemed to be so sweet
46257 The goal of Computer Science is to build something that will last at
46260 The goal of science is to build better mousetraps.  The goal of nature
46261 is to build better mice.
46266 The Golden Rule is of no use to you whatever unless you realize it
46275 have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and confine
46280 to be good.
46291 I had to regain some confidence
46302 		-- Ode to Opening Day, "The Sporting News", 1886
46305 If a string has one end, it has another.
46308 to be a bit of a boondoggle; nicknamed "Civil Servant", it won't work
46312 statistics.  These are raised to the _nth degree, the cube roots are
46320 Similar to the Neutron Bomb, the Neutron Bomb II not only kills people
46327 The government was contemplating the dispatch of an expedition to Burma,
46328 with a view to taking Rangoon, and a question arose as to who would be the
46329 fittest general to be sent in command of the expedition.  The Cabinet sent
46362 The great merit of society is to make one appreciate solitude.
46391 NEW -- SICKENING HORROR to make your STOMACH TURN and FLESH CRAWL!
46419 SEE Uncle Tom lead the Negroes to FREEDOM!
46442 Meet Velda -- the Kind of Woman -- Man or Gorilla would kill... to Keep.
46467 you say it and she'll break your head to prove herself a lady!
46524 	The picture that comes complete with a 10-foot tall monster to
46531 SEE corpses cut to pieces and fed to dogs and vultures!
46532 SEE the monkey trained to perform nursing duties for her paralyzed owner!
46541 You Don't Have to Go to Texas for a Chainsaw Massacre!
46574 Be Brave-bring your troubles and your family to:
46640 yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the
46644 The great secret in life ... [is] not to open your letters for a fortnight.
46649 The greatest dangers to liberty lurk in insidious encroachment by men
46653 The greatest disloyalty one can offer to great pioneers
46654 is to refuse to move an inch from where they stood.
46659 The greatest joy a man can know is to conquer his enemies and drive them
46661 the faces of those who were dear to them bedewed with tears, and to clasp
46662 their wives and daughters to his arms.
46671 give acceleration up to 25,820 mph; after 44 minutes 9,800 solar cells
46683 The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
46695 would have been useful to the chicken.
46705 The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
46708 The hardest thing is to disguise your feelings when
46711 The hater of property and of government takes care to have his warranty
46723 The hearing ear is always found close to the speaking tongue, a custom
46724 whereof the memory of man runneth not howsomever to the contrary, nohow.
46734 body of the woman you have ceased to love.
46747 challenging us to be true to ourselves by appeals to the martial spirit that
46750 of innocence.  To yield to its blandishments is so easy.  The wrong, it seems,
46751 is venial...  Then it is that you will be summoned to show the courage of
46756 which reads "Genuine authentic Egyptian papyrus.  Guaranteed to be at
46762 The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through
46774 	I'm going to kill you because you killed my brother.
46776 	I'm going to kill you because I killed your brother.
46778 	I'm going to kill my brother and then kill you on the
46781 The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the stars."
46785 to stifle our sighs and begin to stifle our yawns.
46788 The honeymoon is over when he phones to say he'll be late for supper and
46799 you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
46815 struggling to weave its perfect web, or the buttercup blooming in
46816 spring, the shark reveals to us yet another of the infinite and
46818 off.  This causes us humans to feel a certain degree of awe.
46839 The IBM purchase of ROLM gives new meaning to the term "twisted pair".
46842 The idea is to die young as late as possible.
46845 The idea that an arbitrary naive human should be able to properly use a given
46851 devices, such as television sets and VCR's, to the destruction centers,
46854 consumers would then be free to go out and buy new devices, rather than
46855 have to fritter away years of their lives trying to have the old ones
46870 The identical is equal to itself, since it is different.
46873 The idle man does not know what it is to enjoy rest.
46886 The important thing is not to stop questioning.
46888 The important thing to remember about walking on eggs is not to hop.
46896 point to the consumer in this day when individualism is an increasingly
46897 important thing to people.
46901 a delight to moralists.  That is why they invented hell.
46921 manners and customs, and from it ... goes on to attack laws and
46934 So, for guidance, you want to look to big business.  Big business never
46935 pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big
46947 good news is that I got Him down to ten.  The bad news is that adultery's
46963 quality work.  But is drug testing in fact rationally related to the
46967 to date the vast majority of programs end with the simple firing or the not
46987 The key to building a superstar is to keep their mouth shut.  To reveal
46988 an artist to the people can be to destroy him.  It isn't to anyone's
46989 advantage to see the truth.
47000 Advisor:	"See those little black specks running to the right?"
47003 	to the left are our guys. Then when they collide we wait till
47008 A:	"So far, it seems to be going according to specks."
47017 dills are eaten each year, averaging out to almost 1/4 pickle per person
47019 really changed my life.  I used to enjoy eating McDonald's hamburgers and
47021 I realized that there was far more to haute cuisine then I'd ever imagined.
47046 The last person who said that (God rest his soul) lived to regret it.
47048 The last thing one knows in constructing a work is what to put first.
47056 processor.", I replied, "They used to say the same thing about drugs."
47063 to sleep under the bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.
47067 	The best way to inspire fresh thoughts is to seal the envelope.
47070 	You cannot determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
47072 The law will never make men free; it is men who have got to make the
47078 weakness of mankind that what we are given to administer we presently imagine
47084 most individual judge of poetry, he once invited Alexander Pope round to
47090 and unwise emendations to his latest masterpiece.  "Be so good as to mark
47094 Garth, took the stunned Pope to one side.  "There is no need to touch the
47097 on those passages, and then read them to him as altered.  I have known him
47109 lady in South London to retrieve her cat which had become trapped up a
47120 	One day Warburton returned home to find 55 of them charred beyond
47130 whose lips became frozen to his lock in 1979 while blowing warm air on it.
47131 	"I got down on my knees to breathe into the lock.  Somehow my lips
47135 	"I tried to tell her what had happened, but it came out sort of...
47143 	In 1976 the European Economic Community pointed out to the Irish
47153 made to hang a Mr. Joseph Samuels.  On the first two of these the rope
47155 and everyone else got bored.  Since he had proved unsusceptible to capital
47158 tried three times in 1885 to hang Mr. John Lee at Exeter Jail, but on each
47159 occasion failed to get the trap door open.
47161 Lee's sentence to "life" imprisonment.  He was released in 1917, emigrated
47162 to America and lived until 1933.
47168 in 1978.  He consistently refused to do anything which might ruffle or
47170 	His handling officer, Rick Grim, had to admit: "He just won't go up
47178 fire.  When the officer moved to arrest the suspects, one dog growled at
47182 The less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
47210 The little pieces of my life I give to you,
47211 with love, to make a quilt to keep away the cold.
47231 for he seems to be passing a critical judgment on them, when he may be
47235 The longer I am out of office, the more infallible I appear to myself.
47240 The longest part of the journey is said to be the passing of the gate.
47257 The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
47288 The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play
47316 -- Booth went round to the inventor's dressing room.
47317 	"It should suck not blow," said Booth, coming straight to the
47326 crowd.  The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no
47346 The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
47351 qualified to understand pretty well everything.
47355 to do is get up every morning and say, "How's the President?"
47368 wanting to change your name and start a new life in different city.
47371 The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause,
47372 while the mark of a mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.
47408 The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
47418 The meek shall inherit the earth; the rest of us will go to the stars.
47421 (But they're gonna have to fight for it.)
47429 [The members of the Chamberlain government] are decided only to be
47430 undecided, resolved to be irresolute, adamant for drift, all-powerful
47439 The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to
47440 devise and apply Turing tests to objects of its own creation.
47444 System Attendant service which failed to start because of the following
47459 The misnaming of fields of study is so common as to lead to what might
47462 guaranteed thereby not to be a science.  He would cite as examples
47466 		-- Gerald Weinberg, "An Introduction to General Systems
47476 4:	Walk over to the selected student and threaten to beat him severely
47477 	with the chain unless he gives you the answer to the problem.
47478 	Generally, he will.  It may also be a good idea to give him a sound
47479 	thrashing anyway, just to show you mean business.
47485 themselves," the old man said, no longer to me.  "But what will become
47506 The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.
47517 The more I want to get something done, the less I call it work.
47528 the easier it is to stop up the drain.
47548 The mosquito exists to keep the mighty humble.
47555 The most advantageous, pre-eminent thing thou canst do is not to
47558 flee to yet another rotten planet in the universe, if thou canst
47559 have the good fortune to find one.
47567 The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately
47585 is trying to convince your parents that you're Haitian.
47587 The most difficult thing in the world is to know how to do a thing and
47588 to watch someone else do it wrong without comment.
47593 The most disagreeable thing that your worst enemy says to your face does
47597 The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
47612 ...the most exquisitely squalid hells known to middle-class man:
47616 The most happy marriage I can imagine to myself would be the union
47617 of a deaf man to a blind woman.
47623 to developing a good product is an imperfect version.
47626 people to approach printed matter with distrust.
47637 The most recent attempt to revive the moribund campus left, a national
47639 participants decided that they were too racist to found a new national
47642 organization that would "give expression to a shared consciousness."  The
47645 every reason to expect their goal would be accomplished.
47646 	But it was not to be.  Given that this was a conference of *New*
47647 New Leftists, reason had nothing to do with it.
47655 so leftist activists were told that they had no right to ratify a constitution
47656 or elect any officers.  While recognizing "the need to examine the real
47658 lip service to the need for "dialogue," they threatened to walk out if their
47661 an ultimatum which demanded that they disband, this would-be successor to the
47665 broke into regional groups to discuss `outreach.'"
47674 biblical miracles is the fact that most of the witnesses in regard to
47683 to commit adultery.
47697 Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line,
47702 seems to be just as involuntary as falling into it.
47711 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert.
47715 	Support your right to bare arms!
47717 The nearer to the church, the further from God.
47736 The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around.
47743 	A javelin team that elects to receive.
47758 The next person to mention spaghetti stacks
47759 to me is going to have his head knocked off.
47762 The next thing I say to you will be true.
47768 The nice thing about standards is that there are so many of them to
47775 But I'm out shufflin' for something to eat
47795 these institutions must be wholly free -- which is to say that their
47796 function is to serve as checks upon the state.
47804 proportional to the number of bugs in their code.
47806 The number of feet in a yard is directly proportional to the success
47810 increases in direct proportion to how much you hate licorice.
47812 The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected.
47820 The objective of all dedicated employees should be to thoroughly
47821 analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their
47822 occurrence, have answers for these problems, and move swiftly to solve
47825 However, when you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to
47826 remind yourself your initial objective was to drain the swamp.
47828 The odds are a million to one against your being one in a million.
47840 	you have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you
47850 	office at 11:45 on a Tuesday night, only to return an Aztec sun
47859 New Hampshire-Vermont border.  One day, the surveyors came to inform him that
47865 to hang up the cue. When he did, all the other cues came crashing to the
47871 The older a man gets, the farther he had to walk to school as a boy.
47885 to cringe.
47891 		-- Ogden Nash, to which a fire chief replied that occasionally
47892 		his department responded to something like a "three L lllama."
47899 The one sure way to make a lazy man look
47900 respectable is to put a fishing rod in his hand.
47924 thousand years is that they've changed trumps from clubs to diamonds.
47927 The only function of economic forecasting is to make astrology look
47946 that they serve to represent the complex of our experiences;
47953 The only people for me are the mad ones -- the ones who are mad to live,
47954 mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time,
47976 The only promotion rules I can think of are that a sense of shame is to
47977 be avoided at all costs and there is never any reason for a hustler to
47983 plausible manner and a little literary ability.  The capacity to steal
47985 		-- Nicolas Tomalin, "Stop the Press, I Want to Get On"
47987 The only real advantage to punk music is that nobody can whistle it.
47993 The only real way to look younger is not to be born so soon.
47994 		-- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
47997 The only really decent thing to do behind a person's back is pat it.
47999 The only really good place to buy lumber is at a store where the lumber
48025 The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on.  It is never any
48026 use to oneself.
48033 the lessons that history has to teach.
48059 The only two things that motivate me and that matter to me are revenge
48063 The only way to amuse some people
48064 is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.
48066 The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
48069 The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want,
48122 The other line moves faster.
48130 table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded, so they went to
48132 went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious
48134 a picture of a four-poster bed.  He was dumbfounded, and to this day has
48135 never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture business.
48139 The party adjourned to a hot tub, yes.  Fully clothed, I might add.
48144 	"Would you like to see where I was operated on for appendicitis?"
48155 The people sensible enough to give
48156 good advice are usually sensible enough to give none.
48162 person you have always wanted to be.
48174 goes wrong has thought of someone to blame it on.
48180 The person who's taking you to lunch has no intention of paying.
48204 batter connected.  He hit a high fly right to the center fielder.  The
48205 center fielder was all set to catch the ball, but at the last minute
48226 	High praise, indeed, and it may tempt you to savour a typically
48233 	Among other details of his mistress which he chose to immortalize
48238 Royalist poet, heard of Wither's imminent execution, he went to the King and
48244 The poetry of heroism appeals irresistibly to those who don't go to a war,
48245 and even more so to those whom the war is making enormously wealthy."
48249 trying to stop yourself going mad.  You might just as well give in and
48252 The polite thing to do has always been to address people as they wish
48253 to be addressed, to treat them in a way they think dignified.  But it
48254 is equally important to accept and tolerate different standards of
48255 courtesy, not expecting everyone else to adapt to one's own
48256 preferences.  Only then can we hope to restore the insult to its proper
48258 		-- Judith Martin, "Miss Manners' Guide to
48262 To ask a politician to lead us is to ask the tail of a dog to lead the dog.
48266 Too thick to navigate and too thin to cultivate.
48274 The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor
48275 prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively,
48276 or to the people.
48285 The President publicly apologized today to all those offended by his
48296 The price of seeking to force our beliefs on others is that someday
48313 The primary function of the design engineer is to make things
48316 The primary purpose of the DATA statement is to give names to
48317 constants; instead of referring to pi as 3.141592653589793 at every
48323 The primary requisite for any new tax law is for it to exempt enough
48324 voters to win the next election.
48337 proportional to the stupidity of your action.
48339 The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the
48342 The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with.
48343 Scientists working for the Department of Energy have tried to form oil
48346 etc., but so far all they have managed to do is run up an enormous
48356 The problem with any unwritten law is that you don't know where to go
48357 to erase it.
48361 to sleep every few days.
48364 time.  My speed is very fast.  Some ministers have had to drop out of my
48368 The problem with most conspiracy theories is that they seem to believe that
48369 for a group of people to behave in a way detrimental to the common good
48373 be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
48396 and an accelerator instead of spurs and ropes, to be compatible with a
48400 The propriety of some persons seems to consist in having improper
48408 the insurance before running off to Germany where it lives in hiding.
48419 The Puritan hated bear-baiting, not because it gave pain to the bear, but
48420 because it gave pleasure to the spectators.
48423 The purpose of Physics 7A is to make the engineers realize that they're
48424 not perfect, and to make the rest of the people realize that they're not
48428 	"My brain is paged out to my liver"
48432 The Queen is most anxious to enlist every one who can speak or write to
48435 sense of womanly feeling and propriety.  Lady-- ought to get a good
48439 		-- Letter to Sir Theodore Martin, 29 May 1870, from
48442 The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president?  What is
48456 The race is not always to the swift, nor the
48457 battle to the strong, but that's the way to bet.
48471 The ratio of literacy to illiteracy is a constant, but nowadays the
48475 The reader this message encounters not failing to understand is
48487 The real purpose of books is to trap the mind into doing its own thinking.
48494 psychologists are trying to do the impossible.
48516 The reason we come up with new versions is not to fix bugs.  It's
48523 The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one
48524 persists in trying to adapt the world to himself.  Therefore all
48528 The reasons that each of these countries has had to renege on its
48532 nobody in the government there has a clue as to how to run a country.
48536 in terms of the human effort needed to regenerate them.
48539 The requirements of romantic love are difficult to satisfy in the trunk
48557 The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
48572 The Right Honorable Gentleman is indebted to his memory for his jests
48573 and to his imagination for his facts.
48576 The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
48580 The right to be let alone is indeed the beginning of all freedom.
48583 The right to revolt has sources deep in our history.
48587 for not by our labor agitators, but by the Christian men to whom God in his
48600 The road to Hades is easy to travel.
48603 The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  And littered with
48606 The road to hell is paved with NAND gates.
48609 The road to ruin is always in good repair,
48621 The rose of yore is but a name, mere names are left to us.
48629 The rule is, jam to-morrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today.
48632 The rule on staying alive as a forecaster is to give 'em a number or
48636 The rules are rather simple to understand:  Under democracy you
48637 can defend any view, but only defend it.  You can not try to realize
48651 	a stool to reach another disk pack.
48655 	files/backup just to see the look on their little faces.
48658 10: Thou shalt not push buttons "just to see what happens".
48666 gesture by the individual to himself.
48705 The secret of healthy hitchhiking is to eat junk food.
48725 The seven eyes of Ningauble the Wizard floated back to his hood as he
48726 reported to Fafhrd: "I have seen much, yet cannot explain all.  The Gray
48732 host which out-numbers Lankhamar's inhabitants by fifty to one -- and
48743 The sheep that fly over your head are soon to land.
48748 The shortest distance between any two puns is a straight line.
48761 	The greatest single aid to distance is for the disc to be going
48769 The sky is blue so we know where to stop mowing.
48829 sent to cover the transition period.  This particular man was young and
48832 dull and tradition-bound church.  He decided to do something about it.
48845 sir, I know the answer is Jesus, but it sure sounds like a squirrel to me."
48850 The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up!
48853 able to correct them.
48869 The Soviet pre-eminence in chess can be traced to the average Russian's
48870 readiness to brood obsessively over anything, even the arrangement of
48875 Reykjavik would do to national prestige, implemented a vigorous program
48880 further testament to the American way, which provides that if you want
48881 something badly enough, you can always go to Iceland and get it from
48893 The spirit of Plato dies hard.  We have been unable to escape the
48927 out for food, lest she come and I not be there to greet her.  Then, on
48934 The story you are about to hear is true.
48935 Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent.
48940 Stapled to his chest.
48941 But he cursed me when I proved to him
48959 that he has the strength to recognize -- and to live with the recognition --
48961 He creates himself by fashioning his own values; he has the pride to live
48976 yet to learn - only the savage fears what he does not understand.
48989 He did his very best to make
49009 whom he assumes to have perfect vision.  Each tends to ascribe to the other
49011 Of course, even two blind men can do enormous damage to each other, not to
49022 The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher
49026 The surest way to remain a winner is to
49033 The system was down for backups from 5am to 10am last Saturday.
49038 it gives birth to both wins and losses.
49047 Hold on to the root.
49055 I don't know who built to it.
49075 it is the gateway to all wizardry.
49081 The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer
49093 of Heaven.  The radiation falling on Heaven will heat it to the point where
49094 the heat lost by radiation is just equal to the heat received by radiation,
49099 temperature at which brimstone or sulphur changes from a liquid to a gas.
49112 	    capacitor, lest it cause thee to bounce upon thy buttocks in a
49120 of shooting employees who make mistakes.  We will now refer to this process
49126 The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
49127 ideas in the mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
49130 The test of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
49139 	If you did manage to get any good shots, they will be ruined
49154 Ronald Reagan's platform seems to be: Hey, I'm a big good-looking guy and
49158 You've got to be careful quoting Ronald Reagan, because when you quote him
49168 The three best things about going to school are June, July, and August.
49179 	(2) The most you can accomplish by working is to break even.
49200 	to be Braniff or Aeroflot).
49211 The time is right to make new friends.
49214 committee] will be in inverse proportion to the sum involved.
49219 Judgment Day.  For at noon the skies turned from blue to grey and by
49224 Speaker of the House, one Col. Davenport, came to his feet.  He silenced
49227 choose to be found doing my duty.  I wish therefore that candles may be
49236 The tree of research must from time to time
49252 The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate
49257 more important to do.
49271 symptom is often hard to deal with: death.
49287 The trouble with superheroes is what to do between phone booths.
49309 height but just above the ground.  It seems more designed to make
49310 people stumble than to be walked upon.
49322 The truth of a proposition has nothing to do with its credibility.
49332 It is, and that's all it needs to be.
49337 In such a fix to be so fertile.
49364 So the last one to be peaceful and everything is a big idiot,
49370 		-- A, like, Tribute to the Great White North, eh?
49378 imprecisely few to warrant out certitude.
49384 The United States is like the guy at the party who gives cocaine to
49398 The universe is like a safe to which there is a combination -- but the
49416 Philbin to a letter of intent to attend Cal next Fall.  Philbin is said
49417 to make up for no talent by cheating well.  Says Philbin of his
49418 decision to attend Cal, "I'm in it for the free ride."
49423 The UNIX philosophy basically involves giving you enough rope to
49424 hang yourself.  And then a couple of feet more, just to be sure.
49426 The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable
49431 religious seminaries, many devoted to special religious beliefs ranging
49432 from the unorthodox to the dotty, that we can hardly wonder at its
49445 The use of money is all the advantage there is to having money.
49448 The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.
49459 Instead of altering their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts
49460 to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to
49464 The very remembrance of my former misfortune proves a new one to me.
49469 surgeon was required to treat an ailing cow.  To investigate its internal
49471 expression and struck a match.  The jet of flame set fire first to some
49472 bales of hay and then to the whole farm causing damage estimate at L45,000.
49473 The vet was later fined L140 for starting a fire in a manner surprising to
49477 The VFW represents many who died to give this country a second chance
49478 to make it what it is supposed to be -- God's guest house on earth.
49481 The volume of paper expands to fill the available briefcases.
49487 sprang to her feet with a wild rebel yell, dashed wildly around the table,
49490 to the waiter and said, "We'll have two of whatever she was drinking."
49508 The water was not fit to drink.
49509 To make it palatable, we had to add whiskey.
49510 By diligent effort, I learned to like it.
49517 The way of the world is to praise dead saints and prosecute live ones.
49522 The way to a man's heart is through his
49526 The way to a man's heart is through the left ventricle.
49528 The way to a man's stomach is through his esophagus.
49530 The way to fight a woman is with your hat.  Grab it and run.
49532 The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
49534 The way to make a small fortune in the commodities market is to start
49540 Hell nobody's perfect, would you like to play?
49547 but the leaves are good to smoke!
49553 "and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
49569 The whole world is a scab.  The point is to pick it constructively.
49581 The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
49587 the ignorant man tries to get everything from somebody else.
49589 The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
49593 she told him, "Darling, the doctor said I have only twelve more hours to
49594 live.  So I've decided I want to go to bed and make passionate love to you
49597 to get up in the morning!"
49606 We may be able to dig deeper holes, but unless we know how to build taller
49612 		-- John Irving, "The World According to Garp"
49614 The world is a comedy to those who think,
49615 and a tragedy to those who feel.
49618 The world is coming to an end.  Please log off.
49620 The world is coming to an end!  Repent and return those library books!
49622 The world is coming to an end ... SAVE YOUR BUFFERS!!!
49636 You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or to tear the pages.
49644 The world wants to be deceived.
49678 beyond reason."  She added that "literary work is very difficult to do".
49683 In August 1975 three men were on their way in to rob the Royal Bank of
49685 had to be helped free by the staff and, after thanking everyone,
49691 Then one of the men jumped over the counter, but fell to the floor
49692 clutching his ankle.  The other two tried to make their getaway, but got
49699 	He put on a cap and looked forward to watching people's faces as he
49704 	"If a driver damages the side of a car and is honest enough to
49719 expected to reach its base that evening.  It was returned by post, dead,
49745 For a start, we can rule out James Grainger's promising line:
49762 	"And I was ask'd and authorized to go
49766 	While in this world, are liable to leak."
49769 	"I've measured it from side to side;
49774 	There are few bad musicians who have a chance to give a recital at
49776 instrument.  This happened about thirty years ago to the son of a Rumanian
49778 violinist.  Enesco agreed to give lessons to the son who was quite
49789 asked for someone to turn his pages.
49791 volunteered and made his way to the stage.
49800 to find someone who is happy for you.
49806 	The largest number of convicts ever to escape simultaneously from a
49809 	During the weeks leading up to the escape in July 1978 the prison
49813 planning to look for them, but never got around to it."  The warders had
49826 "legitimate desire of the prisoner to regain his liberty."
49829 The worst sin towards our fellow creatures is not to hate them,
49830 but to be indifferent to them; that's the essence of inhumanity.
49837 The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one
49838 wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering
49842 The Wright Brothers weren't the first to fly.
49843 They were just the first not to crash.
49852 The young Georgia miss came to the hospital for a checkup.
49857 Linked in part to a structural weakness.
49861 to buy it, and so he huffily walked out of the Miami Beach hotel when he
49864 rates were only $70.  The following morning he went down to the hotel's
49865 golf course and asked Scotty, the pro, to sell him a couple of golf balls.
49879 Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.
49886 not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of himself.
49889 Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
49890 Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower.
49898 Then here's to the City of Boston,
49901 And the Lowells won't speak to the Cohns.
49904 Then there was LSD, which was supposed to make you think you could fly.
49914 to the "W" on the dial.
49919 Theology is an attempt to explain a subject by men who do not understand
49920 it.  The intent is not to tell the truth but to satisfy the questioner.
49929 Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.
49930 	Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
49951 	System of ideas meant to explain something, chosen with a view to
49974 There appears to be irrefutable evidence that
49993 than those who cannot endure to be thought so.
49999 There are four boxes to be used in defense of liberty: soap, ballot,
50007 There are four stages to a marriage.  First there's the affair, then there's
50048 There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axes
50059 ordinary men are forced by circumstances to meet.
50067 competent physicist would immediately use this to run a heat engine and make
50085 There are people so addicted to exaggeration that they can't tell the
50089 There are people who find it odd to eat four or five Chinese meals
50114 vagina, and all other occupations should be open to everyone.
50121 plants and animals.  When exposed to light they undergo photosynthesis;
50155 There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be
50156 offered: entertainment, food, and affection.  It is customary to begin
50162 		-- Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior
50164 There are three principal ways to lose money: wine, women, and
50170 the money; the second that you have something to say that you think the
50171 world should know; the third is that you can't think what to do with the
50181 facts.  Try to find a pattern.  Then make a wrong guess at the next
50197 There are three ways to get something done:
50199 	2. Hire someone to do it for you.
50200 	3. Forbid your kids to do it.
50242 We don't believe this to be a coincidence.
50246 like you are going to die and you're afraid that you won't.
50248 There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
50253 There are two ways of constructing a software design: One way is to
50255 other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious
50260 One is to dislike it.
50261 The other is to like it rationally.
50265 one way is to dislike it, the other is to read Pope.
50268 There are two ways to write error-free programs.  Only the third one
50280 rover, from Orkney down to Dover, we will roam the whole world over, and
50297 has to take the bull by the tail and face the situation.
50300 There comes a time to stop being angry.
50310 There has also been some work to allow the interesting use of macro names.
50311 For example, if you wanted all of your "creat()" calls to include read
50320 is worth describing, if for no other reason than that we get to use one of
50346 There is a certain frame of mind to which a cemetery
50351 There is a certain impertinence in allowing oneself to be burned for an
50362 There is a great discovery still to be made in Literature: that of
50367 There is a limit to the admiration we may hold for a man who spends
50371 There is a Massachusetts law requiring all dogs to have their hind legs
50374 There is a natural hootchy-kootchy to a goldfish.
50391 Which, taken at its flood, leads on to success.
50396 is never apparent to their wives until after breakfast.
50402 There is always one thing to remember: writers are always selling
50411 There is an innocence in admiration; it is found in those to whom it
50429 whilst this planet has gone cycling on according to the fixed law of
50448 There is, in fact, no reason to believe that any given natural phenomenon,
50458 There is Jackson standing like a stone wall.  Let us determine to die,
50466 There is more to life than increasing its speed.
50472 There is never enough time to do it right the first time, but there is
50473 always enough time to do it over.
50475 There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
50499 There is no cure for birth and death other than to enjoy the interval.
50519 There is no Father Christmas.  It's just a marketing ploy to make low income
50520 parents' lives a misery.  ...  I want you to picture the trusting face of a
50521 child, streaked with tears because of what you just said.  I want you to
50528 There is no fool to the old fool.
50542 There is no need to do any housework at all.  After the first four years
50553 Promise rides to a distant country
50560 tools to attain, nor any power so secure that the naked ape will not
50566 There is no reason for any individual to have a computer in their home.
50570 There is no royal road to geometry.
50575 There is no satisfaction in hanging a man who does not object to it.
50598 the ones who do not know how to make themselves attractive.
50604 Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behaviour.
50612 There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be
50620 the way his government is living.  What the government has got to do is
50624 There is not much to choose between a woman who deceives
50631 There is nothing more exhilarating than to be shot at without result.
50645 comes to visit.
50667 There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him.  If he says
50675 There is only one way to be happy by means of the heart -- to have none.
50678 There is only one way to console a widow.  But remember the risk.
50681 There is only one way to kill capitalism --
50690 it would be amusing to know, could we have it authentically communicated.
50705 There may be said to be two classes of people in the world; those who
50713 There must be more to life than having everything.
50722 to the prince:
50733 to the prince:
50759 to the green, his wife noticed that there were two doors on the shack,
50761 able to hit through.  Without hesitation, he instructed his wife to go
50762 around to the other side and open the far door.  Sure enough, this gave
50763 him a clear path to the green.  He stepped up to his ball and prepared
50764 to hit.  His wife had been standing by the far door waiting for him to
50766 the doorway, to see what he was doing.  At that exact moment, the husband
50770 sliced his drive to the shack.  His friend suggested that he might be able
50771 to hit through, if he was to open both doors.
50779 started debating who should be allowed to stay.
50785 thing to do is to vote on it."  So they did, and Mayor Daley won by 97
50795 Whose limericks stopped at line two.
50801 	 mail it to "fortune".  Ed.]
50804 both sides agreed that after the trial, Andy Rooney would be allowed to
50805 talk to the jury for three minutes about little things that annoyed him
50818 The sons of the squaw of the hippopotamus are equal to the sons of
50825 to do whatever was necessary for success.  You agreed to forsake, if
50830 There was this New Yorker that had a lifelong ambition to be a Texan.
50831 Fortunately, he had a Texan friend and went to him for advice.  "Mike,
50832 you know I've always wanted to be a Texan.  You're a *real* Texan, what
50834 	"Well," answered Mike, "The first thing you've got to do is look
50835 like a Texan.  That means you have to dress right.  The second thing
50836 you've got to do is speak in a southern drawl."
50857 satellite.  Guess which one got to tell the other how to run the
50865 There will be sex after death, we just won't be able to feel it.
50868 Therefore it is necessary to learn how not to be good, and to use
50869 this knowledge and not use it, according to the necessity of the cause.
50876 least one catcher who at this writing is probably superior to Bill Dickey,
50878 pigmentation of their skin.  They happen to be colored.
50881 There's a fine line between courage and foolishness.  Too bad it's not
50884 There's a lesson that I need to remember
50887 There's such a thing as trying to hard
50895 If you want it to work.
50898 There's a long-standing bug relating to the x86 architecture that
50899 allows you to install Windows.
50902 There's a lot to be said for not saying a lot.
50905 and goes to Monte Carlo to try to recoup at the roulette tables.  Won a
50906 little, lost a lot, and was down to his last franc.  Prayed for help.
50912 on for hours, the voice telling him what to bet, and the man putting all
50914 spoke, the man protested that he'd won millions of dollars and wanted to
50918 There's a thrill in store for all for we're about to toast
50920 We're here to cheer each pioneer and also proudly boast,
50924 And we feel honored to be here to toast the IBM.
50927 There's a trick to the Graceful Exit.  It begins with the vision to
50928 recognize when a job, a life stage, a relationship is over -- and to
50931 a belief that every exit line is an entry, that we are moving on,
50933 living well.  It's hard to recognize that life isn't a holding
50934 action, but a process.  It's hard to learn that we don't leave the
50946 There's an old proverb that says just about whatever you want it to.
50948 There's been no top authority saying what marijuana does to you.  I really
50950 to me.
50953 There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
50968 	Would you kindly direct me to hell?
50971 There's no easy quick way out, we're gonna have to live through our
50985 There's no real need to do housework -- after four years it doesn't get
51000 There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government
51015 neckline to keep a man on his toes.
51017 There's nothing like a good dose of another woman to make a man
51025 There's nothing remarkable about it.  All one has to do is hit the right
51029 There's nothing so precious as a cafe full of Gap kiddies trying to
51033 There's nothing to writing.  All you do is sit at a typewriter
51055 There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn
51066 There's so much to say but your eyes keep interrupting me.
51072 There's something the technicians need to learn from the artists.
51078 There's too much beauty upon this earth for lonely men to bear.
51082 of concealment which seek to mislead and obscure.
51087 "These are GREAT TIMES to put your money on BAD GUY to kick the CRAP
51091 used to, and half the time they aren't even fit to drink.
51099 the only significant job that has so far been given to them.
51102 what they have. The only thing they connect to is the money aspect of
51125 try to make everything fit it.  They separate the right from the left, the
51127 only want to count to two.
51148 They say it's the responsibility of the media to look at government --
51153 They seem to have learned the habit of cowering before authority even when
51154 not actually threatened.  How very nice for authority.  I decided not to
51158 They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom for trying to change the
51159 system from within.  I'm coming now I'm coming to reward them.  First
51166 I'd really like to live beside you, baby.  I love your body and your spirit
51167 and your clothes.  But you see that line there moving through the station?
51175 They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary
51182 About a month before.			Their hair began to curl
51188 And after we were done, to them		A secret, kept from all the rest
51191 My notion was to start again
51210 They didn't care... they were just dying to get off,
51214 They will only cause the lower classes to move about needlessly.
51217 They wouldn't listen to the fact that I was a genius,
51229 They're basically very smelly houseplants until they get to the crawling
51230 age.  You're constantly terrified that they're going to randomly die on
51232 hard to forget.
51233 		-- Thomas Ptacek, giving advice to a new father
51241 		ACLU's suit to have a city nativity scene removed.
51243 They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
51246 to like.
51249 Thieves respect property; they merely wish the property to become
51256 Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
51276 Things will get better despite our efforts to improve them.
51290 Think of your family tonight.  Try to crawl home after the computer
51298 Thinking you know something is a sure way to blind yourself.
51340 a whole precisely nuanced vocabulary of intellectual abuse to draw upon,
51341 individually and in combination, isn't it a little <fill in the blank> to be
51342 limited to a single, now quite trite, adjective?
51351 intended solely for the use of the individual or entity to which they
51355 Obviously, I am the idiot who sent it to you by mistake. Furthermore,
51356 there is no way I can force you to delete it. Worse, by the time you
51358 Telling you to forget it would seem absurd. In any event, I have no
51359 legal right to force you to take any action upon this email anyway.
51372 all to be more profound than THIS program has ever been.
51380 This fortune is dedicated to your mother, without whose
51391 This fortune was brought to you by the people at Hewlett-Packard.
51399 This guy runs into his house and yells to his wife, "Kathy, pack up your
51405 This is a country where people are free to practice their religion,
51408 This is a good time to punt work.
51415 actual emergency, do you really think we'd stick around to tell you?
51420 This is an especially good time for you vacationers who plan to fly,
51422 which it recently sold Yellowstone National Park to Wayne Newton, has
51424 consumer, is that the airlines are no longer required to follow any
51430 passed along to you, the consumer, in the form of flights with
51432 apply, the main one being that all these flights take you to Newark,
51433 and you must pay thousands of dollars if you want to fly back out.
51438 This is Betty Frenel.  I don't know whom to call but I can't reach my
51447 For them to read when they're in trouble
51452 At the tone leave your name and message; I'll get back to you.
51455 to one.
51462 This is Marilyn Reed, I wanta talk to you...  Is this a machine?
51463 I don't talk to machines!  [Click]
51481 for fortunes, and unless user contributions increase to make up the
51482 difference, the fortune program will have to shut down between midnight
51483 and 8 a.m.  Don't let this happen.  Mail your fortunes right now to
51487 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to "The
51491 This is supposed to be a happy occasion.
51498 This is the first age that's paid much attention to the future,
51506 the thing to maximize a function describing nutritive content, with a
51522 Whose sex is very hard to see
51528 She has no time to take the pill
51558 	And pussycats to eat them when the sun goes down!
51568 And pussycats to eat them
51575 		-- Apologies to Woody Guthrie
51578 you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where
51579 to go.
51582 to you; the rest, you made yourself.
51593 This novel is not to be tossed lightly aside, but to be hurled with
51599 who start out as normal soldiers and then are made to believe that bullets
51604 man enough to take me on?"
51606 Ranger.  When he gets to the top he simply plows into his foe and the two
51610 "Well, looks to me like one of you couldn't do it, how about the rest?"
51614 crawls over the top of the hill. The platoon leader yells up to his man,
51619 got to find a way off this planet.
51627 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
51633 This product is meant for educational purposes only.  Any resemblance to real
51640 or failure to perform.  Slippery when wet.  For office use only.  Substantial
51641 penalty for early withdrawal.  Do not write below this line.  Your cancelled
51644 offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery.  Use only in well-ventilated area.
51650 paid by addressee.  Apply only to affected area.  One size fits all.  Many
51661 	computer language to another and has a built-in editing system
51666 often have little else to sustain them.  Humoring them costs nothing and
51675 This sentence does in fact not have the property it claims not to have.
51684 Grinds hard stones to meal;
51707 This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
51712 	The paramedic tried to quiet the man, pointing out that his car
51722 Those of you who think you know everything are very annoying to those
51734 learned when to say yes, when to say no and when to say whoopee.
51749 Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
51755 to life haven't ever been around here at quitting time.
51760 Those who do not understand Unix are condemned to reinvent it, poorly.
51764 self-sacrifice are to be avoided at all costs.
51767 Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents,
51771 Those who express random thoughts to legislative committees are often
51772 surprised and appalled to find themselves the instigators of law.
51789 Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are
51817 Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to
51833 Not to put too fine a point on it
51849 Three hours a day will produce as much as a man ought to write.
51856 all appearing on a quiz program, were asked to complete this sentence:
51868 Three minutes' thought would suffice to find this out; but thought
51873 late or a little too early for anything you want to do.
51878 Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
51881 One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
51882 One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
51887 	1. Oversimplify your explanations to the point of uselessness.
51922 	"Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to
51927 	"Time for you to leave."
51931 	"When program is being tested, it is too late to make design changes."
51935 	"When you have learned to snatch the error code from
51936 	the trap frame, it will be time for you to leave."
51955 Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
51958 Staying home to watch the rain		Ten years have got behind you
51959 You are young and life is long		No one told you when to run
51960 And there is time to kill today		You missed the starting gun
51962 And you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it's sinking
51963 And racing around to come up behind you again
51965 Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
51969 Never seem to find the time		The time is gone, the song is over
51970 Plans that either come to nought	Thought I'd something more to say...
51984 Tiger got to hunt,
51985 Bird got to fly;
51986 Man got to sit and wonder, "Why, why, why?"
51988 Tiger got to sleep,
51989 Bird got to land;
51990 Man got to tell himself he understand.
52009 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
52020 everything doesn't happen to you.
52029 Time to be aggressive.  Go after a tattooed Virgo.
52031 Time to take stock.
52063 	Playing cards have the top half upside-down to help cheaters.
52065 	Singing is a trick to get people to listen to music longer than
52068 	People will pay to watch people make sounds.
52074 to YOU through this special offer.  Three out of five engineering consultants
52080 it to calculate forces, velocities, displacements, and virtually any vector
52092 Tis man's perdition to be safe, when for the truth he ought to die.
52094 'Tis more blessed to give than receive; for example, wedding presents.
52103 is allowed to drive a taxi in New York.  For New York cabbies, honesty and
52109 to spend a few days there.
52118 only way to tell the difference between California and Sweden is that the
52132 To add insult to injury.
52136 to stand by the president right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and
52137 servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public."
52150 should demand more from her?  You don't want a rose to sing.
52154 than a man would have to be.  Fortunately, this isn't difficult.
52156 To be excellent when engaged in administration is to be like the North
52160 To be great is to be misunderstood.
52164 Zion, b) full of a comfortable feeling of superiority to the masses of one's
52165 fellow men, and c) delicately and unceasingly amused according to one's taste.
52170 a sheer physical impossibility for such a man to live in the United States
52174 To be intoxicated is to feel sophisticated but not be able to say it.
52176 To be is to be related.
52179 To be is to do.
52181 To do is to be.
52193 To be nobody-but-yourself in a world which is doing its best to,
52194 night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest
52198 To be or not to be.
52200 To do is to be.
52202 To be is to do.
52207 To be or not to be, that is the bottom line.
52209 To be patriotic, hate all nations but your own; to be religious, all sects
52210 but your own; to be moral, all pretences but your own.
52214 this is a repeat of what I said previously, that which I am unable to
52215 offer in response is based on information available to make no such
52218 To be successful, a woman has to be much better at her job than a man.
52227 To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved.
52229 To be who one is, is not to be someone else.
52232 to know is when to say "I don't know."
52234 To believe your own thought, to believe that what is true for
52244 To endlessly twiddle and thrash,	To be willing to hack FORTRAN IV
52249 That one man, scorned and		When it's put to the test.
52250 	destined to lose,
52259 may be as natural to future times as to us is a literary correspondence.
52265 To create quality software, the ability to say no is usually far
52266 more important than the ability to say yes.
52270 it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
52275 To do nothing is to be nothing.
52277 To do two things at once is to do neither.
52280 To doubt everything or to believe everything are two equally
52291 To err is human -- to blame it on a computer is even more so.
52295 To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
52300 To err is human; to admit it, a blunder.
52302 To err is human, to forgive, beyond the scope of the Operating System.
52304 To err is human, to forgive, infrequent.
52306 To err is human, to forgive is against company policy.
52308 To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy.
52310 To err is human; to forgive is simply not our policy.
52313 To err is human, to forgive unusual.
52315 To err is human, to purr feline.
52317 To err is human, to moo bovine.
52319 To err is human, to repent, divine, to persist, devilish.
52335 A time to be born, and a time to die;
52336 A time to plant, and a time to pluck what is planted;
52337 A time to kill, and a time to heal;
52338 A time to break down, and a time to build up;
52339 A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
52340 A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
52341 A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones;
52342 A time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
52343 A time to gain, and a time to lose;
52344 A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
52345 A time to tear, and a time to sew;
52346 A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
52347 A time to love, and a time to hate;
52351 To fear love is to fear life, and those
52355 To find a friend one must close one eye; to keep him -- two.
52358 To find out a girl's faults, praise her to her girl friends.
52361 To generalize is to be an idiot.
52366 To get something clean, one has to get something dirty.
52367 To get something dirty, one does not have to get anything clean.
52372 To give happiness is to deserve happiness.
52385 To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
52388 To jaw-jaw is better than to war-war.
52392 to kill them, treat them often.
52394 To know Edina is to reject it.
52402 To listen to some devout people,
52417 where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the
52428 To refuse praise is to seek praise twice.
52434 To save a single life is better than to build a seven story pagoda.
52438 micro and then try to run it on OS/2.  I mean, get serious.
52442 would be to say you needed a vote of confidence.
52445 To see a need and wait to be asked, is to already refuse.
52448 and give his knife a sharpening, was to forget breakfast instantly.  It was
52449 agreeable, too -it really was- to see him cut it off, so smooth and juicy.
52456 To see you is to sympathize.
52463 Is a damned tough bullet to chew.
52467 of the ability to unlearn old falsehoods.
52472 To teach is to learn.
52474 To teach is to learn twice.
52481 To the systems programmer, users and applications serve only to provide
52491 		Sultan to the Berbers
52497 To think contrary to one's era is heroism.  But to speak against it is
52501 To those accustomed to the precise, structured methods of conventional
52515 may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness.
52517 to ensure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the
52519 or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to ensure your
52523 as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may
52531 he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do.
52533 To understand this important story, you have to understand how the
52534 telephone company works.  Your telephone is connected to a local
52535 computer, which is in turn connected to a regional computer, which is
52536 in turn connected to a loudspeaker the size of a garbage truck on the
52540 suspects you're going to discuss an intimate topic, it notifies the
52541 computer above it, which listens in and decides whether to alert the
52547 loudspeaker, and she and her friends come out on the porch to listen
52552 To use violence is to already be defeated.
52555 To vacillate or not to vacillate, that is the question ... or is it?
52562 strip down your words to naked, willing flesh.
52563 Then bind them to a metaphor or three,
52565 Arrange them to your will, each foot in place.
52567 Now whip them to maintain a constant pace
52570 What use are words that drive not to the heart?
52572 and choose more docile words to take its part.
52573 A well-trained sonnet lives to entertain,
52574 by making love directly to the brain.
52576 To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the loyal opposition.
52586 	A nice place to visit, but you can't stay here for long.
52591 Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
52605 Today is what happened to yesterday.
52607 Today, of course, it is considered very poor taste to use the F-word
52622 Today's thrilling story has been brought to you by Mushies, the great new
52633 	Any shag carpet that causes the lid to become top-heavy, thus
52634 	creating endless annoyance to male users.
52643 Tomorrow will be canceled due to lack of interest.
52650 Tom's hungry, time to eat lunch.
52653 Don't forget to leave a tip.
52657 Toni's Solution to a Guilt-Free Life:
52658 	If you have to lie to someone, it's their fault.
52660 Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy
52671 Too cool to calypso,
52672 Too tough to tango,
52673 Too weird to watusi
52677 	A large number of turkies [sic] went to San Francisco yesterday by
52678 the two o'clock boats.  If their object in going down was to participate in
52701 Too often I find that the volume of paper expands to fill the available
52705 Too often people have come to me and said, "If I had just one wish for
52715 Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
52719  8) Indentation?! - I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
52728     are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
52736 As man struggles to discover cheaper alternatives, we need your help.
52759 	hard to write.
52762  4:	How many times do we have to tell you, "No prior art!"
52763  3:	Ha, ha, I can't believe they're actually going to adopt this sucker.
52786 get to your destination, say to your driver, "Pay?  I was hitch-hiking."
52802 	Being or pertaining to an existing, nontangible object.
52807 	Being or pertaining to a tangible, nonexistent object.
52827 to live in this dad-blamed, moth-eaten, dust-covered, one-hoss dump, or
52856 a group from what it is to what it ought to be.
52859 True to our past we work with an inherited, observed, and accepted vision of
52885 Truth can wait; he's used to it.
52892 Truth is hard to find and harder to obscure.
52894 Truth is stranger than fiction, because fiction has to make sense.
52899 Truth never comes into the world but like a bastard, to the ignominy
52911 Try not to have a good time ... This is supposed to be educational.
52923 Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
52925 Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
52927 Try to find the real tense of the report you are reading:  Was it done,
52928 is it being done, or is something to be done?  Reports are now written
52935 Try to get all of your posthumous medals in advance.
52937 Try to have as good a life as you can under the circumstances.
52939 Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
52942 Try to value useful qualities in one who loves you.
52944 Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only
52947 Trying to define yourself is like trying to bite your own teeth.
52950 Trying to establish voice contact ... please ____yell into keyboard.
52952 Trying to get an education here is like
52953 trying to take a drink from a fire hose.
52978 'Twas a woman who drove me to drink,
52979 and I never even had the decency to thank her.
52995 He left it dead and with it's head	Come to my arms, my perth amboy!
53016 He left it dead, and took its head,	Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
53038 It bit the dirt, and with its shirt,	Come to my firm, V.P.ish boy!
53064 Who used to peddle doughnuts		Its six legs hanging in the air,
53065 On the road to Mandalay.		So I kissed her goodbye.
53078 Was ready for action, and started to fire!
53083 I looked to the fireplace, hoping to see
53086 A flaming red jacket setting fire to my stocking!
53097 So kids dry your tears now, and get off to bed,
53108 Pursuant to our anticipatory pleasure regarding an
53123 Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers
53132 	The Captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: We are on
53134 	Back came a signal "Advisable for you to change course 20 degrees."
53151 penguin is dripping in sweat; his owner looks down and says to the other Finn,
53152 "Hey Urho, I want that you should take the penguin to the zoo, okay?"  The
53153 owner then runs off to the sauna.  When he gets out of the sauna, he looks
53155 away.  So he yells out "Hey, Urho, I thought I told you to take the penguin to
53156 the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to
53161 	"One thing about Jim," the other said to the bartender, "he sure
53162 knows when to stop."
53171 British soldiers who, rallying to the call of their supervisor, General
53172 Hughes, sought to gain control of the voter registration lists kept in
53177 search was fruitless.  They had to return empty handed.  Word of the
53183 Two is not equal to three, even for large values of two.
53187 call for help in this canyon and the echo will carry our voices to the
53188 end of the canyon.  Someone's bound to hear us by then!"
53195 	"For three reasons.  First, he took a long time to answer, second,
53200 second man said, "He bit it himself."  Nasrudin withdrew to his
53201 chambers, and spent an hour trying to bite his own ear.  He succeeded
53202 only in falling over and bruising his forehead.  Returning to the
53216 	"So, what have you to say for your theory now?"
53217 	"What am I to say?  You obviously buttered the wrong side."
53225 Two Russian friends happen to meet in Red Square.  One of them says, "By
53229 Two sure ways to tell a REALLY sexy man; the first is, he has a bad memory.
53235 they arrive, one of them picks up his glass, and, turning to the other,
53237 	The other turns to the first man and scolds, "Hey!  Did you come
53238 here to screw around, or did you come here to drink?"
53255 On what wings dare he aspire?		Dare he laugh his work to see?
53260 And when thy heart began to beat	What immortal hand or eye
53284 	is going to have consequences you don't like.
53329 And Rogue playing to an awful standstill."
53336 Here he lies where he longed to be,
53346 	you cease to examine what is really present, and operate on the
53350 in relation to a bigger problem.
53363 Unfortunately, most programmers like to play with new toys.  I have many
53364 friends who, immediately upon buying a snakebite kit, would be tempted to
53365 throw the first person they see to the ground, tie the tourniquet on him,
53366 slash him with the knife, and apply suction to the wound.
53373 	A dues-paying club workers wield to strike management.
53380 Meanwhile, fears of universal disaster sank to an all-time low over the
53393 	you how to fix it, and...
53403 Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself -- and then a couple
53404 of more feet, just to be sure.
53412 but when it gets right down to it, Unix is a glorified video game.
53425 UNIX is many things to many people,
53426 but it's never been everything to anybody.
53432 	A computer operating system, once thought to be flabby and
53442 UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that
53456 be so superfluous to demand the time of the day.  I wasted time and now doth
53467 unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.
53487 Use a pun, go to jail.
53489 Use an accordion.  Go to jail.
53507 		-- Dave Barry, "Claw Your Way to the Top"
53513 an armoured car to deliver credit card information from someone
53514 living in a cardboard box to someone living on a park bench.
53521 text-based adventure game.  You're five feet from making it to your
53528 Using words to describe magic is like using a screwdriver to cut roast beef.
53543 	life-style to recuperate.
53546 	The amount of work to be done increases in proportion to the
53550 Tom:	 I reserve the right to wax maudlin as I wane eloquent ...
53566 "vanilla won ton soup") means ordinary won ton soup, as opposed to hot
53577 		-- Meat Eater's Credo, according to Jim Williams
53583 	2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
53610 screwdriver is supposed to gain from this.  Nature, in her infinite wisdom,
53617 Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
53629 	Acronyms and abbreviations should be used to the maximum extent
53630 	possible to make trivial ideas profound.  Q.E.D.
53651       waiting to be made by someone with your obvious talent for it."
53657 Violence is a sword that has no handle -- you have to hold the blade.
53665 there's nothing left to do but hit the other person over the head with a
53668 impulsive philanthropy, which we aren't in any position to afford, but
53680 	Learn something new today, like how to spell or how to count to
53683 	wouldn't want to be taken to the doctor's office in some of
53688 	sickening to your friends.  You are cold and unemotional and
53695 only the willingness to make it when necessary.
53701 Virtue is not left to stand alone.
53716 from where you left them to where you can't find them.
53738 And to him who's scientific
53744 	It is better to have lobbed and lost
53745 	than never to have lobbed at all.
53748 supposedly had the habit of simply writing answers to homework assignments on
53750 how to solve problems.  One time one of his students tried to get more helpful
53751 information by asking if there was another way to solve the problem.  Von
53781 Not to arms and violence, But peace for one and all.
53790 Make her whole and beautiful, work from sun to sun.
53791 Stand tall and labor side by side, because there's so much to be done.
53793 Wake up, all you citizens, It's up to you and me.
53819 	find out that you don't want to go to school anymore.
53838 So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly -- Hills, that is;
53848 War is delightful to those who have had no experience of it.
53854 War is much too serious a matter to be entrusted to the military.
53868 	This system is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need!
53870 user's emotional state in terms of how desperate they are to get their program
53871 to run.  The "critical detector" then creates a bug in the program proportional
53872 to the desperation of the user.  Threatening the terminal with violence only
53873 aggravates the situation, causing the program to immediately crash or the
53874 entire system to go down.  Likewise, attempts to use another terminal may cause
53875 it to core dump.  (They all belong to the same LAN.)  Keep cool and say nice
53876 things to the terminal.
53880 Warning: Listening to WXRT on April Fools' Day is not recommended for
53889 This machine is subject to breakdowns during periods of critical need.
53892 operator's emotional state in terms of how desperate he/she is to use the
53894 to the desperation of the operator.  Threatening the machine with violence
53895 only aggravates the situation.  Likewise, attempts to use another machine
53896 may cause it to malfunction.  They belong to the same union.  Keep cool
53897 and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.
53947 	The reliability of machinery is inversely proportional to the
53954 when it's necessary to compromise.
53974 divides us is whether it is crazy enough to have a chance of being
53979 before we are fit to participate in society.
53980 		-- Judith Martin, "Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly
54011 We are each entitled to our own opinion, but no one is entitled to his
54020 We are giving instruction to FBI agents in the various Chinese
54021 dialects ... to handle present and likely future contingencies.
54024 We are going to give a little something, a few little years more, to
54029 We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
54033 Openness is futile.  Prepare to be assimilated.
54046 We are on the verge: Today our program proved Fermat's next-to-last
54050 We are preparing to think about contemplating preliminary work on plans to
54074 to do the unnecessary... for the ungrateful...
54083 We are what we pretend to be.
54112 We dedicate this book to our fellow citizens who, for love of truth,
54114 forth one of themselves as dedicated servant, to forward the search
54125 We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company.
54129 We don't have to protect the environment -- the Second Coming is at hand.
54160 We don't really understand it, so we'll give it to the programmers.
54169 Both are of a tame and stupid disposition, and are so unaccustomed to
54175 		-- I. I. Rabi to the Atomic Energy Commission
54177 We give advice, but we cannot give the wisdom to profit by it.
54184 We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
54185 hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
54204 redundancy of such grotesque dimensions as to defy rational understanding.
54213 We have more to fear from the bungling of the incompetent
54223 We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.
54226 We have only two things to worry about:  That things will never get
54227 back to normal, and that they already have.
54229 We have reason to be afraid.  This is a terrible place.
54232 We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his
54246 process, you'd have to lie down in front of the sink to rest for a
54249 stalagmites that would bond your head permanently to the bathroom
54261 were trying to think of a name, and Kermit is a pleasant, unassuming sort of
54262 character.  But since we weren't sure whether it was OK to name our protocol
54264 acronym; unfortunately, we could never find a good set of words to go with the
54268 should be, and words to this effect replaced the strained acronyms in our
54269 source code (Bill's baby turned out to be a girl, so he had to name her Becky
54272 to say that we did indeed name the protocol after Kermit the Frog.  Permission
54274 temptation, however, to call the present work "Kermit the Book."
54277 We know next to nothing about virtually everything.  It is not necessary
54278 to know the origin of the universe; it is necessary to want to know.
54280 to crave knowledge.
54283 We laugh at the Indian philosopher, who to account for the support
54284 of the earth, contrived the hypothesis of a huge elephant, and to support
54288 about the tension and vibrations of the nerves, are as like to be true, as
54296 We lie loudest when we lie to ourselves.
54317 show enough free enterprise to pile up a little of that profit, we do
54318 our best to make him feel that he ought to be ashamed of himself."
54321 We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue
54326 purely intellectual fields.  But which are the best ones to start
54329 best to provide the machine with the best sense organs that money can
54330 buy, and then teach it to understand and speak English.
54333 We may not be able to persuade Hindus that Jesus and not Vishnu should govern
54336 Christians that Shinto best expresses their spiritual concerns, to say
54337 nothing of the fact that we may not be able to get Christians to agree among
54338 themselves about their relationship to God.  But all will agree on a
54340 we can get them to accept the further proposition that whatever form the
54344 accepted, then we come that much closer to a truly religious situation on
54358 ...we must be wary of granting too much power to natural selection
54363 functions).  But these assumptions do not lead to the notion, often
54376 we should like to live in it; the question is whether those who have grown up
54390 We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to
54396 to make it appear that we are free from great ones.
54399 We ought to be very grateful that we have tools.  Millions of years ago
54401 For example, when a primitive person wanted to put up paneling, he had
54402 to drive the little paneling nails into the cave wall with his bare
54405 ugly paneling is to begin with.
54408 We prefer to believe that the absence of inverted commas guarantees the
54413 We prefer to speak evil of ourselves
54416 We promise according to our hopes, and perform according to our fears.
54422 We read to say that we have read.
54425 friends are trying to kill us.
54430 We seem to have forgotten the simple truth that reason is never perfect.
54437 We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is
54465 These are the sort of people who want to appear wiser than the laws, who
54466 want to get their own way in every general discussion, because they feel that
54473 that we are now qualified to do something with nothing.
54475 We the Users, in order to form a more perfect system, establish priorities,
54502 Youthful			Over 40 and trying to deny it
54518 Huggable/Zaftig/Rubenesque	Fat (there's a lot to love)
54529 we're trying to identify the allegators.
54531 We tried to close Ohio's borders and ran into a Constitutional problem.
54533 borders to interstate commerce, and garbage is a form of interstate commerce.
54550 to Josh.  "Yesterday, in Pitchburgh."
54574 woman of the tollway.  I knew not how.  I started to speak, but she raised an
54585 tend to brand Homo sapiens as the greatest catastrophe since the Cretaceous
54590 technical problem -- how to run a sunbeam through a meter.
54593 we will cry over things we used to laugh &
54594 our new wisdom will bring tears to eyes of gentle
54599 We will not be responsible for damage to equipment, your ego, county wide
54620 	A ceremony at which two persons undertake to become one, one
54621 	undertakes to become nothing and nothing undertakes to become
54635 	Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
54637 Weinberg, as a young grocery clerk, advised the grocery manager to get
54650 	on to the grand fallacy.
54664 Welcome to boggle - do you want instructions?
54676 Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the men are strong,
54680 Welcome to the Zoo!
54682 Welcome to UNIX!  Enjoy your session!  Have a great time!  Note the
54686 can lead to a reduction in the effect that an exclamation point has on
54689 	Jane went to the store to buy bread
54692 sensational about her going to the store, for example, if Jane is a
54695 of exclamation points can add new meaning to your life!  Call now to receive
54700 Welcome to Utah.
54705 all James Bond books have: An evil person tries to blow up the world, but
54706 James Bond kills him and his henchmen and makes love to several attractive
54708 *thousands* of words to say it.
54711 Or maybe only one of them kills the father.  It's impossible to tell because
54713 as much as the Karamazovs did, I don't see how they found time to become a
54715 	I'm told that Dostoyevsky wrote "The Brothers Karamazov" to raise
54737 We'll cross that bridge when we come back to it later.
54744 		   Lockard had picked up a radar signal of what appeared to be
54748 Well, fancy giving money to the Government!
54750 Fancy giving money to the Government!
54753 Ten to one they'll start another war.
54755 Fancy giving money to the Government!
54760 Well, he didn't know what to do, so he decided to look at the government,
54761 to see what they did, and scale it down and run his life that way.
54778 Well I looked at my watch and it said a quarter to five,
54783 I was desperate to dance, just to dig the local sounds.
54785 She looked so good that I had to meet her,
54786 I was ready to approach her with my English charm,
54790 We no like to with the gringo fight,
54798 back to that stalemate only because our retaliatory power, our seconds,
54810 Well, it's hard for a mere man to believe that woman doesn't have equal
54816 We'll know that rock is dead when you have to get a degree to work in it.
54829 But I made me a vow to the moon and the stars,
54862 doesn't. In which case, you need someone else to bleed on it as well.
54865 We'll pivot at warp 2 and bring all tubes to bear, Mr. Sulu!
54877 We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens,
54878 we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
54894 We take all kind of pills to give us all kind of thrills,
54903 Now it's all designed, to blow our minds,
54912 So we never have to be alone.
54918 Well, we've come full circle, Lord; I'd like to think there's some
54919 higher meaning to all this.  It would certainly reflect well on you.
54922 	The ability to play bridge or golf as if they were games.
54954 it's not going to do anything for you.
54959 you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right
54992 I have to push the pram a lot.
54998 We're mortal -- which is to say, we're ignorant, stupid, and sinful --
55006 unfathomable; my interest has been to convince you that you must accept
55008 desert, in this marvelous time.  I wanted to convince you that you must
55009 learn to make every act count, since you are going to be here for only a
55028 We've sent a man to the moon, and that's 29,000 miles away.  The center
55035 Take us back again to the homes of men
55039 Spacemen back to their trade.
55058 What a bonanza!  An unknown beginner to be directed by Lubitsch, in a script
55059 by Wilder and Brackett, and to play with Paramount's two superstars, Gary
55060 Cooper and Claudette Colbert, and to be beaten up by both of them!
55063 What a misfortune to be a woman!  And yet, the worst misfortune is not to
55067 What a strange game.  The only winning move is not to play.
55070 What, after all, is a halo?  It's only one more thing to keep clean.
55076 What an author likes to write most is his signature on the
55094 to be read to out of about Down Under up for?
55099 What do I consider a reasonable person to be?  I'd say a reasonable person
55102 the belief that it is the right and the responsibility of each person to
55103 live his or her own life as he or she sees fit, to respect this right in
55104 others, and to demand the assumption of this responsibility by others.
55109 What do you have when you have six lawyers buried up to their necks in sand?
55118 What does it take for Americans to do great things; to go to the moon, to
55119 win wars, to dig canals linking oceans, to build railroads across a continent?
55123 base of technology must exist from which to do the thing to be done.  Second,
55126 the national attention upon the direction to proceed.  Finally, an articulate
55128 words and action the great thing to be accomplished.  The motivation of young
55129 Americans to do what needs to be done flows from such a coincidence of
55131 Kennedys appear.  We must begin to create the tools of leadership which they,
55132 and their young frontiersmen, will require to lead us onward and upward.
55138 What ever happened to happily ever after?
55150 What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
55152 What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
55154 What George Washington did for us was to throw out the British, so
55159 What goes up must come down.  But don't expect it to come down
55160 where you can find it.  Murphy's Law applied to Newton's.
55162 What good is a ticket to the good life, if you can't find the
55165 What good is an obscenity trial except to popularize literature?
55181 What happens to a dream deferred?
55206 from "Star Wars" whom my son, Robert, likes to pull the legs off of
55210 bathroom and wants to greet me with 60 or 70 thousand playful nips, any
55213 you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah",
55216 they either have it or they don't -- has chosen exactly that moment to
55226 sounding word that we tend to use when we would really like to come up
55251 boundary conditions which apparently have to be satisfied:
55258        in which the work has to be done.
55260 Now under these five immutable boundary conditions, we have to try to
55272 What is food to one, is to others bitter poison.
55276 will to power, power itself.  What is bad?  Everything that is born of
55313 	Status is when the President calls you in to discuss a
55317 	STATUS is when you're in the Oval Office talking to the President,
55319 	minute, and hands it to you, saying, "It's for you."
55333 "I've just GOT to start labeling my software..."
55338 What is this line of duty, and suffering?  You are not supposed to suffer
55339 if you are an assassin.  The other person is supposed to suffer.
55349 to be the truth.  A lie that is put across therefore becomes the truth and
55350 may, therefore, be justified.  The difficulty is to keep up lying... it is
55351 simpler to tell the truth and if a sufficient emergency arises, to tell one,
55356 What is wanted is not the will to believe, but the will to find out,
55360 What is worth doing is worth the trouble of asking somebody to do it.
55369 What makes the Universe so hard to comprehend
55370 is that there's nothing to compare it with.
55376 is supposed to be satisfying?
55392 What one believes to be true either is true or becomes true.
55416 It's corporate feminism -- a brand of feminism designed to sell books
55425 of us ever have the courage to face:  and that is the child you once
55432 discovery in life, because they are trying to achieve what lay beyond
55442 What segment's this, that, laid to rest
55454 		-- to Greensleeves
55463 Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit,
55466 When they come to hang you, lad:
55468 That's cured by hanging from a string.
55471 Lads whose job is still to do
55475 What the deuce is it to me?  You say that we go around the sun.  If we went
55476 around the moon it would not make a pennyworth of difference to me or my work.
55483 		   Division of IBM), to colleagues who insisted that the
55502 "I am pleased to say that this candidate is a former colleague of mine."
55510 	(However, to the best of my knowledge, he has never committed a
55518 	(Or as little, to phrase it slightly more accurately.)
55520 	(She never had a good word to say.)
55521 "I have no doubt about his capability to do good work."
55523 "This candidate would lend balance to a department like yours, which
55526 "His presentation to my seminar last semester was truly remarkable:
55529 "She is quite uniform in her approach to any function you may assign her."
55530 	(In fact, to life in general...)
55535 "You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you."
55543 "His dissertation is the sort of work you don't expect to see these days;
55553 A major technological breakthrough...	Back to the drawing board.
55556 	to unforeseen difficulties
55563 						to say something.
55584 Years of Development		Finally got one to work.
55588 No Maintenance			Impossible to fix.
55607 What upsets me is not that you lied to me,
55614 What we Are is God's give to us.
55615 What we Become is our gift to God.
55626 launch-style "hold" for two to three hours, during which it just
55629 be only 7 a.m. when we were ready to actually emerge from bed.
55633 or more chance to participate in it.
55657 your fingers, or your memory, and therefore yours to control.  If you feel
55658 powerless over your fear, you have not yet admitted that it is yours, to do
55663 something to occur to you.
55667 	 referring to AST's.]
55685 Whatever happened to the good old days
55705 Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half
55717 Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.
55719 What's a cult?  It just means not enough people to make a minority.
55727 What's done to children, they will do to society.
55788 When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight,
55797 When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him
55802 ago, he is a broad-minded man who has courage enough to change his mind
55809 When a place gets crowded enough to require ID's, social collapse is
55810 not far away.  It is time to go elsewhere.  The best thing about space
55811 travel is that it made it possible to go elsewhere.
55814 When a shepherd goes to kill a wolf, and takes his dog along to see the
55815 sport, he should take care to avoid mistakes.  The dog has certain
55816 relationships to the wolf the shepherd may have forgotten.
55820 first is the present, and afterward, having to pay for it.
55827 When alerted to an intrusion by tinkling glass or otherwise, 1) Calm
55832 by suing you for causing his subsequent paraplegia and seek to force you
55833 to support him for the rest of his rotten life.  In court he will plead
55835 looking for Mother Teresa for comfort and to offer his services to the
55891 like to take the one I've never tried before.
55895 easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger
55900 When democracy granted democratic methods to us in times of opposition, this
55901 was bound to happen in a democratic system.  However, we National Socialists
55903 declared openly that we used the democratic methods only to gain power and
55904 that, after assuming the power, we would deny to our adversaries without any
55905 consideration the means which were granted to us in times of our opposition.
55912 When does summertime come to Minnesota, you ask?  Well, last year, I
55921 When God endowed human beings with brains, He did not intend to
55924 When God saw how faulty was man He tried again and made woman.  As to
55933 himself to destruction.
55936 When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced
55937 to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
55944 when i die, i'd like to go peacefully.
55952 and a willingness to compromise.
55955 When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot,
55959 When I grow up, I want to be an honest
55969 for him.  All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough.
55980 live torrent once raised by my will and now whirling to
55985 When I said "we", officer, I was referring to
55989 to myself, "I've got to get out of this lane."
55992 When I say the magic word to all these people, they will vanish forever.
55993 I will then say the magic words to you, and you, too, will vanish -- never
55994 to be seen again.
56002 I almost laugh myself to death,
56006 I laugh so hard I almost choke		Too proud to bend
56007 When I think about myself.		Too poor to break,
56015 I laugh until I start to crying,
56023 Now I'm beginning to believe it.
56030 When I was a kid I said to my father one afternoon, "Daddy, will you
56031 take me to the zoo?" He answered, "If the zoo wants you let them come
56040 When I was a young man, I vowed never to marry until I found the ideal
56058 the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
56071 establishment is an extreme case, an organization which seems to have
56072 been expressly designed to make it possible for people to do things
56077 had to take drugs and go to concerts.
56082 cannot remember any but the things that never happened.  It is sad to
56083 go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
56092 And when I thinks, I goes to sleep.
56096 the street and foreign presidents.  It's goin' to be back to the fighter who
56097 comes to town, smells a flower, visits a hospital, blows a horn and says
56110 to apologize than to get permission.
56150 When it comes to broken marriages most husbands will split the blame --
56153 When it comes to helping you, some people stop at nothing.
56155 When it is not necessary to make a decision,
56156 it is necessary not to make a decision.
56176 will attempt to defend itself when he tries to kill it.
56184 When my brain begins to reel from my
56198 No one knows what it's like to be the bad man,
56199 	to be the sad man.
56201 No one knows what its like to be hated,
56202 	to be fated,
56207 at her request, moved to a different room.  She told me she didn't
56208 think she had ever seen a Jew before.  My only response was to begin
56211 Jew was offensive to others made me want to let people know who I
56212 was and what I believed in.  Similarly, after talking to these young
56214 a feminist -- I've taken to identifying myself as a feminist in the
56231 When one wants to get rid of an unsupportable pressure, one needs hashish.
56234 When one woman was asked how long she had been going to symphony
56235 concerts, she paused to calculate and replied, "Forty-seven years --
56239 When operating the diopter adjustment knob with your eye to the view-
56240 finder, be careful not to put your fingers or fingernails in your eye.
56252 the least they can do is to shut up.
56263 	Taste varied as to his cry when he was shot down, the more popular
56280 When some people decide it's time for everyone to make
56281 big changes, it means that they want you to change first.
56284 can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it.
56290 They have their place, I guess,		But not to Mississippoli,
56295 They've got to be protected,		They'd rather kill them off by
56299 					We only want the world to know
56311 When taxes are due, Americans tend to feel quite bled-white and blue.
56325 	might not be able to figure this out for yourself.
56328 	you really want to.  Or less.
56384 Every day, to earn my daily bread
56385 I go to the market where lies are bought
56398 When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem starts to look
56406 When the salesman's car broke down, he walked to the nearest farmhouse to ask
56407 if he could stay the night.  The farmer agreed to put him up.  "I live alone,"
56408 he continued, "you can have the bedroom at the top of the stairs, to the
56413 When the speaker and he to whom he is speaking do not understand, that is
56422 from left to right, or top to bottom, and the larger and bluer ones
56423 were set apart, and the smaller yellowing types pushed off to the
56430 "if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager."  The man moaned again but
56444 when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
56447 is to believe the one in which people appear at their worst.
56453 When things go well, expect something to
56458 required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and
56469 Double and float cast to each other.
56483 When we are planning for posterity, we ought to remember that virtue is
56510 When you are about to die, a wombat is better than no company at all.
56513 When you are about to do an objective and scientific piece of
56514 investigation of a topic, it is well to have the answer firmly in hand,
56516 swayed, directly to the goal.
56523 When you are in it up to your ears, keep your mouth shut.
56528 something marvelous is going to happen, that you are going to transcend
56536 from, to torture and unsettle us?
56539 When you become used to never being alone,
56548 you've got a place to bury your own.
56550 When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
56559 When there is no one else to turn to,
56565 Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
56566 And see what that guy has to say.
56571 He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
56572 For he's with you clear up to the end,
56589 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
56592 When you go out to buy, don't show your silver.
56603 answer to a definite problem.  For better or worse you have
56604 acted decisively.  In a way, the next move is up to him.
56607 When you have to kill a man it costs nothing to be polite.
56642 management will not try to interfere.
56647 When you say that you agree to a thing in principle, you mean that
56651 When you speak to others for their own good it's advice;
56652 when they speak to you for your own good it's interference.
56654 When you try to make an impression, the chances are that is the
56699 When you're married to someone, they take you for granted ... when
56701 of losing you they've got to keep you satisfied all the time.
56706 When you're ready to give up the struggle, who can you surrender to?
56712 WHENEVER ANYBODY SAYS he's struggling to become a human being I have to
56713 laugh because the apes beat him to it by about a million years.  Struggle
56714 to become a parrot or something.
56721 to spend their weekends with?
56726 Whenever I hear anyone arguing for slavery, I feel a strong impulse to
56731 is to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
56740 He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
56756 Whenever someone tells you to take their advice,
56760 you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
56766 to reform.
56777 		-- Mark A. Matthews, to Wes Peters, circa 1996
56783 	When it's converted to energy?
56790 Where do you go to get anorexia?
56800 Where it is a duty to worship the sun it is pretty sure to be a crime to
56817 Where the system is concerned, you're not allowed to ask "Why?".
56844 ...whether it is better to spend a life not knowing what you want or to
56863 While anyone can admit to themselves they were wrong, the true test is
56864 admission to someone else.
56875 While having never invented a sin, I'm trying to perfect several.
56878 Eastwood agreed to a television interview.  His host, somewhat hostile,
56880 lawless, and bloody piece of mayhem, and then asked Eastwood himself to
56890 	 referring to hardware interrupts.]
56897 	 referring to software interrupts.]
56910 held a gun to his head.
56912 	The runner thought for a moment, shifting nervously from foot to foot,
56934 Oh, lot o' times I sit and t'ink	Don't aim to be an earthly saint
56936 If a feller was de feller		Just try to be the fellow that
56940 While we are sleeping, two-thirds of the world is plotting to do us in.
56944 reassuring to know that it's still there.
56969 	...they might want to cut it out...
56971 Byrd's Addition to Owen's Commentary:
56972 	...and they want to avoid a lengthy search.
57023 Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?
57026 Who to himself is law no law doth need,
57038 Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not
57052 "Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school.
57057 Whom the gods wish to destroy they first call promising.
57067 Why a man would want a wife is a big mystery to some people.
57089 Why are you so hard to ignore?
57099 improvement.  Obscurity is of value only when it tends to clarify the poetic
57100 experience.  As much as one is compelled to admire the poem's technique, one
57105 meaning.  It is to be hoped that further publication of this poem can be
57123 Why did the Lord give us so much quickness of movement unless it was to
57130 meaning?  "It is the complex case that is easier to deal with."  "If it
57172 we needed it or not, and now we are having to pay for it, howling like a
57173 pet coon.  This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to
57186 I'd LOVE to, but...
57187 	-- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
57194 	-- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student
57197 	-- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
57198 	-- I prefer to remain an enigma.
57204 I'd LOVE to, but...
57205 	-- I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
57206 	-- I have to sit up with a sick ant.
57207 	-- I'm trying to be less popular.
57209 	-- I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
57212 		can't seem to put it down.
57214 	-- I have to study for my blood test.
57215 	-- I've been traded to Cincinnati.
57217 	-- I have to go to court for kitty littering.
57221 I'd LOVE to, but...
57222 	-- I have to floss my cat.
57223 	-- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
57224 	-- I need to spend more time with my blender.
57225 	-- It wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
57226 	-- It's my night to pet the dog/ferret/goldfish/radio.
57227 	-- I'm going downtown to try on some gloves.
57228 	-- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
57229 	-- I'm due at the bakery to watch the buns rise.
57231 	-- I have some really hard words to look up.
57233 	-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
57237 I'd LOVE to, but...
57238 	-- I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
57240 	-- The monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
57241 	-- I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
57242 	-- I have to fulfill my potential.
57243 	-- I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
57244 	-- It's too close to the turn of the century.
57245 	-- I have to bleach my hare.
57251 I'd LOVE to, but...
57253 	-- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
57255 	-- I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
57259 	-- I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
57260 	-- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
57265 Why is it taking so long for her to bring out all the good in you?
57278 way to prove how much she means to me?
57280 Why must you tell me all your secrets when it's hard enough to love
57292 me to.  Why not?  Why should I not do it for you?  Strange!  Why not? --
57294 		-- Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, from a letter to his cousin Maria,
57329 not a spectacle to make the angels laugh?  We are a company of ignorant
57333 needs, but hopelessly differing whenever we attempt to describe the ultimate
57334 origin or end of our paths; and yet, when one of us ventures to declare that
57336 parish, he is hooted, reviled, and perhaps told that he will be damned to all
57344 Why would anyone want to be called "Later"?
57349 direction, and almost none will be returned to the source.
57356 	Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.
57381 Gouged the baby's eyeballs out;		Fell in the fire and burned to an ash.
57382 Stamped on them to make them pop.	Now, although the room grows chilly,
57383 Mother cried, "Now, William, stop!"	I haven't the heart to poke poor Billy.
57386 Nailed the baby to the door.		Threw his sister in the well!
57388 "Careful, Will, don't mar the paint."	"sure is hard to raise a daughter."
57400 If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your
57401 head... if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick...
57407 Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as
57410 [Wisdom] is a tree of life to those laying
57414 Wisdom is knowing what to do with what you know.
57427 With a gentleman I try to be a gentleman and a half, and with a fraud I
57428 try to be a fraud and a half.
57432 		-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
57448 miles closer to globular cluster M13 in the constellation Hercules, and
57449 still there are some misfits who continue to insist that there is no
57461 but to tyrants I will give no quarter.
57469 	"Oh, I have a three point eight, so I'm much more attracted to the
57470 strong academic types than to the dumb party animals," she said.  "What's
57472 	Grinning ear to ear, the jock boasted, "I get about twenty-five in
57487 I was told that if SALT would go away, we'd soon have the capability to nuke
57497 way he did.  In addition to paper and pens, he took with him everywhere as an
57499 important to him than his table or his white robe.
57530 Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
57539 	having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication.
57546 Woman was taken out of man -- not out of his head, to rule over him; nor
57547 out of his feet, to be trampled under by him; but out of his side, to be
57548 equal to him -- under his arm, that he might protect her, and near his heart
57577 Women are always anxious to urge bachelors to matrimony; is it
57583 Women are like elephants to me: I like to
57584 look at them, but I wouldn't want to own one.
57596 Women aren't as mere as they used to be.
57600 but it takes more of them to do it.
57609 Women, deceived by men, want to marry them; it is a kind of revenge
57613 Women give themselves to God when the
57614 Devil wants nothing more to do with them.
57617 Women give to men the very gold of their lives.  Possibly;
57626 In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the
57627 original earth clinging to the roots.
57639 us and are always bothering us to do something for them.
57642 Women want their men to be cops.  They want you to punish them and tell
57659 Women who desire to be like men, lack ambition.
57661 Women who want to be equal to men lack imagination.
57663 Women wish to be loved without a why or a wherefore;
57668 Women's Libbers are OK, I just wouldn't want my sister to marry one.
57688 Wood heat is not new.  It dates back to a day millions of years ago,
57693 beat him to death with stones.  But the key discovery had been made,
57702 Norm:   The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.
57703 	Let's just cut to the happy ending.
57718 Sam:  What are you up to Norm?
57726 Woody: Hey, Mr. Peterson, what do you say to a cold one?
57732 Norm:  And I need a beer to wash him down.
57741 		-- Cheers, Breaking In Is Hard to Do
57753 Woody: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
57780 Norm:  The question is, Woody, why is it happening to me?
57788 Norm:  Well, okay, Woody, but be sure to stop me at one. ...
57809 Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.
57810 Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
57816 Work expands to fill the time available.
57820 the earth's surface relative to other matter; second, telling other people
57821 to do so.
57836 	We are no longer allowing this practice.  We wish to discourage
57839 and to have anything removed would certainly make you less than we
57848 Workers of the world, arise!  You have nothing to lose but your chairs.
57862 World War Three can be averted by adherence to a strictly enforced
57866 It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
57875 get.  Try to avoid Februarys whenever possible.
57888 Yes, but not worth going to see.
57903 Would the last person to leave Michigan please turn out the lights?
57908 Would you care to drift aimlessly in my direction?
57910 Would you care to view the ruins of my good intentions?
57912 Would you like to be tried in court by people
57913 who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty?
57917 Would you *really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
57920 "Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?"
57922 "That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
57938 	A small sticker created to cover the unsightly notch carelessly
57944 Writers who use a computer swear to its liberating power in tones that bear
57945 witness to the apocalyptic power of a new divinity.  Their conviction results
57975 "The tactful way," Rod said quietly, "the polite way to disagree with
57976 the Senator would be to say, `That turns out not to be the case.'"
57998 	Flakey and built to stay that way.
58005 	The windowing system preferred by masochists 3 to 1.
58006 	Built to take on the world... and lose!
58032 	Climbing to new depths.  Sinking to new heights.
58033 	An accident that couldn't wait to happen.
58052 	The only thing you have to fear.
58054 	On autopilot to oblivion.
58057 	A mistake carried out to perfection.
58058 	Belongs more to the problem set than the solution set.
58061 	Complex nonsolutions to simple nonproblems.
58062 	Built to fall apart.
58064 	Falling to new depths of inefficiency.
58068 Elevating brain damage to an art form.
58080 	It could happen to you.
58082 	You have nothing to lose but your lunch.
58085 	When you can't afford to be right.
58096 	When it absolutely, positively HAS to crash overnight.
58101 	There's got to be a better way.
58102 	The next best thing to keypunching.
58103 	Leave the thrashing to us.
58117 	If the Earth could be made to rotate twice as fast, managers would
58118 	get twice as much done.  If the Earth could be made to rotate twenty
58122 	It costs a lot to build bad products.
58125 	There are also many highly paid executives.  The policy is not to
58137 	The practice of trying to determine the year a movie was made
58149 	direction, preferably supersonic, crossing time zones to provide the
58150 	additional hours needed to fix the broken electronics.
58163 	less time you have to spend doing what you have been talking about.
58176 	People working in the private sector should try to save money.
58187 X-rated movies are all alike ... the only thing they leave to the
58192 	aircraft.  This aircraft will have to be shared by the Air Force and
58194 	made available to the Marines for the extra day.
58196 	Software is like entropy.  It is difficult to grasp, weighs nothing,
58199 	It is very expensive to achieve high unreliability.  It is not uncommon
58200 	to increase the cost of an item by a factor of ten for each factor of
58203 	Although most products will soon be too costly to purchase, there will
58204 	be a thriving market in the sale of books on how to fix them.
58212 	It's easy to get a loan unless you need it.
58222 	costly action known to man.
58224 	A revised schedule is to business what a new season is to an athlete
58225 	or a new canvas to an artist.
58230 	other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance.
58234 	It is better to be the reorganizer than the reorganizee.
58236 	Executives who do not produce successful results hold on to their
58247 	Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of
58250 	Fools rush in where incumbents fear to tread.
58252 	The process of competitively selecting contractors to perform work
58256 	The weaker the data available upon which to base one's conclusion,
58257 	the greater the precision which should be quoted in order to give
58262 	The thickness of the proposal required to win a multimillion dollar
58264 	proposals conforming to this standard were piled on top of each other
58268 	The other 10 percent of the time you had no right to expect so much.
58273 	Never promise to complete any project within six months of the end of
58281 Yacc owes much to a most stimulating collection of users, who have
58284 unwillingness to learn how to do things my way has usually led to my
58288 Y'all hear about the geometer who went to the beach to catch some
58299 fear no evil, for I can string six primitive monadic and dyadic
58305 Yeah, God is dead, he laughed himself to death.
58344 Yes, but every time I try to see things your way, I get a headache.
58346 Yes, but which self do you want to be?
58348 Yes, I was surprised how easy it was to cut the door off my cat.
58357 Just different ways to kill the pain the same.
58359 Than to have to have a frontal lobotomy.
58363 Yes, we will be going to OSI, Mars and, Pluto, but not necessarily in
58376 Ye've also got to remember that ... respectable people do the most
58377 astonishin' things to preserve their respectability.  Thank God
58385 Yield to Temptation ... it may not pass your way again.
58400 You are a fluke of the universe; you have no right to be here.
58409 You are a wish to be here wishing yourself.
58412 You are absolute plate-glass. I see to the very back of your mind.
58419 You are an insult to my intelligence!
58428 You are deeply attached to your friends and acquaintances.
58430 You are destined to become the commandant of the
58433 You are dishonest, but never to the point of hurting a friend.
58444 You are going to have a new love affair.
58466 Have you been to the clinic lately?
58471 power to make it true.  You may have to work for it, however.
58481 You are not permitted to kill a woman who has wronged you, but nothing
58482 forbids you to reflect that she is growing older every minute.  You are
58496 "In my youth," Father William replied to his son,
58499 	Made it pointless to think any more."
58506 "In my youth," father William replied to his son,
58513 	That your lectures bore people to death.
58519 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
58525 	Pray, how did you manage to do it?"
58527 "In my youth," said his father, "I took to the law,
58529 And the muscular strength which it gave to my jaw,
58540 Yet the people keep paying to read all my books
58551 	Allow me to sell you a couple?"
58562 	And to stop me it's now far too late."
58571 Do you think I can listen all day to such stuff?
58583 You are so boring that when I see you my feet go to sleep.
58589 You are the only person to ever get this message.
58591 You are transported to a room where you are faced by a wizard who
58592 points to you and says, "Them's fighting words!"  You immediately get
58597 trying to disembowel you, you are being trampled by a large mammoth, a
58602 are making mince meat out of your torso, and the wizard is about to
58603 transport you to the corner of Westwood and Broxton.  Oh dear, you seem
58604 to have gotten yourself killed, as well.
58608 To achieve the next higher rating, you need to score 32 more points.
58634 You can always pick up your needle and move to another groove.
58642 to find a way to damage them.  They last forever, largely because
58644 they receive and send them back to the original givers the next year;
58647 The easiest way to make a fruitcake is to buy a darkish cake, then
58648 pound some old, hard fruit into it with a mallet.  Be sure to wear
58664 You can bring any calculator you like to the midterm, as long as it
58690 You can do this in a number of ways.  IBM chose to do all of them.
58695 land or anything to do with dirt is concerned.
58697 You can drive a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
58725 		   [Also attributed to Johnny Carson.  Ed.]
58727 You can get there from here, but why on earth would you want to?
58732 You can grovel with your boss, and it never has to end.
58746 if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing
58768 but you have to think of it first.
58770 You can never trust a woman; she may be true to you.
58778 What ever you want is going to cost a little more than it is worth.
58781 You can not win the game, and you are not allowed to stop playing.
58800 You can tell how far we have to go, when FORTRAN is the language of
58809 You can write a small letter to Grandma in the filename.
58814 I've got to have thirty minutes!
58839 You can't carve your way to success without cutting remarks.
58849 You can't depend on the man who made the mess to clean it up.
58855 You can't expect a boy to be vicious till he's been to a good school.
58858 "You can't expect a mother to be with a small child all the time",
58861 children to put them in day care twelve hours a day, either.
58887 is that it can always be sacrificed to expediency.
58897 You can't push on a string.
58907 You can't start worrying about what's going to happen.
58912 		-- Charles Schulz, "Things I've Had to Learn Over and
58918 especially when crossing a state line.
58920 You can't teach people to be lazy --
58924 You climb to reach the summit, but once
58938 You definitely intend to start living sometime soon.
58948 You don't have to be nice to people on the way up
58952 You don't have to explain something you never said.
58955 You don't have to know how the computer
58956 works, just how to work the computer.
58958 You don't have to think too hard when you talk to teachers.
58961 You don't move to Edina, you achieve Edina.
58964 You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting
58971 now than you did when you used to.
58975 You first have to decide whether to use the short or the long form.
58978 tax-preparation expert to distinguish between their first and last
58983 	"(3) Hey!  Sounds like we took too much!  So we're going to
58985 	     THE AMOUNT WE TOOK) directly to the (YOUR LAST NAME)
58986 	     household at (YOUR ADDRESS), for you to spend in any way
58987 	     you please! Which just goes to show you, (YOUR FIRST
58988 	     NAME), that it pays to file the short form!"
58990 The IRS wants you to use this form because it gets to keep most of your
59004 You give me space to belong to myself yet without separating me
59005 from your own life.  May it all turn out to your happiness.
59008 You go down to the pickup station,
59014 Clutching the night to you like a fig leaf
59015 	you hurry to the blackness
59016 	and the blankets to lay down an impression
59020 You got to be very careful if you don't know
59024 You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues,
59039 but your parents moved away, and you had to leave it behind.
59059 You have a tendency to feel you are superior to most computers.
59073 You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.
59080 You have an ability to sense and know higher truth.
59085 Be sure to use it properly.
59087 You have an unusual magnetic personality.  Don't walk too close to
59098 You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.
59100 You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
59104 You have literary talent that you should take pains to develop.
59115 You have only to mumble a few words in church to get married
59116 and few words in your sleep to get divorced.
59121 You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.
59124 You have the power to influence all with whom you come in contact.
59126 You have to run as fast as you can just to stay where you are.
59127 If you want to get anywhere, you'll have to run much faster.
59134 You just know when a relationship is about to end.  My girlfriend called me
59149 and he says "roff! roff!", well, I'll just have to...
59151 You know how to win a victory, Hannibal, but not how to use it.
59154 You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as an energy source,
59155 you people are all going to owe me big.
59158 You know it's going to be a bad day when you want to put on the clothes
59161 You know it's going to be a long day when you get up, shave and shower,
59162 start to get dressed and your shoes are still warm.
59201 him having an extramarital affair.  By the time someone says "I'd like you to
59203 		-- Cynthia Heimel, "A Girl's Guide to Chaos"
59214 	you have to go outside to change your mind.
59222 mother is allowed to take.
59229 	You speak to each dog you pass, by name... and he wags his tail.
59241 6)	Your doctor tells you you're allergic to chocolate.
59246 2)	You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party
59248 3)	Your boss tells you not to bother to take off your coat.
59260 (6)	Your 4-year old reveals that it's "almost impossible" to
59267 (2)	Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife.
59271 (6)	You wake up to the soothing sound of flowing water... the day
59273 (7)	You go on your honeymoon to a remote little hotel and the desk
59278 when you go out to the junk food machine and start wondering how to
59283 friend misdates a check, and you suggest adding a "++" to fix it.
59285 You know you've landed gear-up when it takes full power to taxi.
59287 You learn to write as if to someone else
59290 You like to form new friendships and make new acquaintances.
59302 You love your home and want it to be beautiful.
59319 You may be sure that when a man begins to call himself a "realist," he
59320 is preparing to do something he is secretly ashamed of doing.
59327 You may easily play a joke on a man who likes to argue -- agree with
59333 You may have heard that a dean is to faculty as a hydrant is to a dog.
59340 You may not be able to judge a book by its cover, but
59341 you sure as hell can tell how much it's going to cost.
59349 You men out there probably think you already know how to dress for
59351 or white plastic belts and shoes, unless you are going to a costume
59353 		-- Dave Barry, "How to Dress for Real Success"
59362 You might like to know that I looked at a detailed map of NT, and I'm
59363 now able to confirm that in all probability Microsoft NT does not
59364 exist.  If it does, it's so small as to be completely insignificant.
59376 gambling, prizes and awards.  Not reporting such income can lead to
59381 to his own concept of the obligations of manhood.  All other loyalties
59386 proof of this is that the computer always does what you tell it to do.
59395 You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a
59396 reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating
59404 You never get a second chance to make a first impression.
59408 You never have to change anything you
59409 got up in the middle of the night to write.
59412 You never hesitate to tackle the most difficult problems.
59423 got in line to admit it, too.  But you also notice they all said they
59431 You or I must yield up his life to Ahrimanes.  I would rather it were
59432 you.  I should have no hesitation in sacrificing my own life to spare
59467 attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.  A fool
59469 which might be useful to him gets crowded out, or at best is jumbled up with
59471 Now the skillful workman is very careful indeed as to what he takes into his
59474 order.  It is a mistake to think that that little room has elastic walls and
59475 can distend to any extent.  Depend upon it there comes a time when for every
59477 the highest importance, therefore, not to have useless facts elbowing out
59483 		-- George Bernard Shaw, "Back to Methuselah"
59491 		-- Albert Einstein, when asked to describe radio
59493 You seek to shield those you love
59513 about 10^12 to 1.
59520 You should never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for
59525 contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from
59527 scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the
59534 another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and
59538 If you are traveling with a child aged six months to three years, you
59539 should leave an additional amount equal to twice the bill to compensate
59540 for the fact that they will have to take the banquette out and burn it
59552 You shouldn't have to pay for your love with your bones and your flesh.
59555 You shouldn't wallow in self-pity.  But it's OK to put
59561 You teach best what you most need to learn.
59567 Mr. Smith of Muddle, Mass. says:  "Before I took this course I used to be
59571 Mr. Watkins had this to say:  "Ten short days ago all I could look forward
59572 to was a dead-end job as an engineer.  Now I have a promising future and
59575 MIT Tech can't promise these fantastic results to everyone, but when
59585 You two ought to be more careful--
59588 You want to know why I kept getting promoted?
59596 You will attract cultured and artistic people to your home.
59604 whom you thought to be unimportant.
59617 You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
59628 your time and skill to a worthy cause.
59631 your time and skill to a bank robbery.
59655 You will be the last person to buy a Chrysler.
59671 You will experience a strong urge to do good; but it will pass.
59708 You will hear good news from one you thought unfriendly to you.
59716 You will live to see your grandchildren.
59722 You will lose your present job and have to become a door to door
59727 You will never amount to much.
59728 		-- Munich Schoolmaster, to Albert Einstein, age 10
59732 You will not be elected to public office this year.
59756 was first brought to my notice by the depth which the parsley had sunk into
59766 You will stop at nothing to reach your objective,
59769 You will think of something funnier than this to add to the fortunes.
59782 You work very hard.  Don't try to think as well.
59785 Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.
59787 "You would do well not to imagine profundity," he said.  "Anything that seems
59789 Conversely, trivialities must be attended to with the greatest of care.
59810 You'd like to do it instantaneously, but that's too slow.
59814 Which has nothing to do with,
59815 All to do, with her.
59818 You'll be called to a post requiring
59834 hard things when they were easier to do.
59836 Young men are fitter to invent than to judge; fitter for execution than for
59840 of business; but the errors of aged men amount but to this, that more might
59843 to the end, without consideration of the means and degrees; pursue some few
59848 repent too soon, and seldom drive business home to the full period, but
59849 content themselves with a mediocrity of success.  Certainly, it is good to
59854 Young men, hear an old man to whom
59862 Your aim is high and to the right.
59870 you failed to get weren't really worth having.
59895 listed 10 signs to watch for:
59900 	fluid to paint its nails," said Steiger.
59906 The experts pointed out that a co-worker would have to display most if not
59912 Your depth of comprehension may tend to make you lax in worldly ways.
59919 medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe
59939 	You have nothing better to think about than what to wear and what
59940 type of champagne to take to the neighbors Halloween Party.  Just take beer!
59941 Don't try to copy the "Joneses", pull them up to your level and remember, in
59955 sure to "walk groundly, talk profoundly, drink roundly, and sleep soundly"
59967 at homebrewing, and you both want to visit every new brewpub that opens.
59976 you owe it all to the excessive amount of Vitamin B, Iron, and Malt you get
59978 to feel stupid one day lying in a hospital dying of nothing?
59982 heaven as you head to the nearest Liquor Barn and buy all the beer they have
59983 in stock.  Whoever said money couldn't buy happiness didn't know where to
59988 affecting your job production the next morning.  You feel a nine to five job
60006 Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
60012 Your lover will never wish to leave you.
60040 Your mode of life will be changed to ASCII.
60042 Your mode of life will be changed to EBCDIC.
60057 Your object is to save the world,
60060 Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself.  Being
60061 true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the
60082 picture star.  If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use
60087 Your sister swims out to meet troop ships.
60115 You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
60118 		-- Jim Samuels to a heckler
60121 		-- Steve Martin to a heckler
60123 When your IQ rises to 28, sell.
60124 		-- Professor Irwin Corey to a heckler
60147 The question to ask next is what list it is.
60159 You're never too old to become younger.
60177 You happen to be human.
60179 Yours is not to reason why,
60180 Just to Sail Away.
60181 And when you find you have to throw
60203 Youth is such a wonderful thing.  What a crime to waste it on children.
60218 You've been telling me to relax all the way here,
60219 and now you're telling me just to be myself?
60233 You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.
60236 You've got to pity New Mexico... so far from heaven and so close to Texas.
60238 You've got to think about tomorrow!
60256 	The result of shutting down a production line.
60264 	If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.