Lines Matching +refs:csh +refs:else +refs:if +refs:re

136 	you're splitting my ends.
186 exactly what they ask for, even if you disapprove of their choices.  If
202 that if he wears any of the other 81 ties, his wife will probably laugh
203 at him ("You're not going to wear THAT tie with that suit, are you?").
250 		 Heavens, they're tasty and expeditious!
252 	    They're made from whole wheat, to give shy persons
271 it would take a fire ant to drill a hole through a dill pickle, if the
291 if this form of life had been created 500 million years ago or earlier, with
423 (5) 6 (or maybe 4, or else 3).  Mr. Alfred J. Duncan of Podunk,
455 Double bucky, you're the one!
483 of course they're only bits and bytes
495 couldn't hurt me more if they were scented in lavender or mould
532 2.	When you're flying through the air, remember to roll
534 3.	If you're on fire, avoid gasoline and other flammable materials.
557 If you're going up against some guy with an Osborne 1 -- or any personal
565 they're no match for the Uzi.  One quick burst and they'll find out what
594 * Tools that, if dropped properly, can penetrate your foot.  (Awls)
658 agree with their subjects.  Proofread carefully to see if you words
737 Programming is not for everyone.  But, if you have the desire to learn, we can
742 To help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to
853 	The architect did not agree.  He said, "But if you look at the Garden
869 the man how he can tell if it "took" or not.  The breeder replies that if,
870 the next morning, the sows were grazing on grass, they were pregnant, but if
949 	A horse breeder has his young colts bottle-fed after they're three
965 I could put `here lies an honest lawyer', if that would be okay."
1028 -- if he wanted to bring her a gift, well, he should bring her a Swiss Army
1072 satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
1105 it take to design this system if I assign five programmers to it?"
1110 	"And what if I assign a hundred programmers to it?"
1171 nice," he replied, but don't you think it would be better if..."
1173 	"If ... if you had died and MacDowell had written the elegy?"
1193 need for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code.  He
1318 carrying a shotgun and a dead loon.  "What in the world do you think you're
1359 	The judge fined the jaywalker fifty dollars and told him if he was
1438 	"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by
1443 	"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on
1524 	Say you're sorry when you hurt someone.
1543 	[...] Think what a better world it would be if we all -- the
1545 and then lay down with our blankets for a nap.  Or if all governments
1555 minutes, a hospital orderly finally asked if he could be of some help.
1595 perfect Latin.  The crowd doesn't understand a word of it, but they're
1650 "Take it easy, comrade.  Remember what would have happened if you had made an
1653 	The old man goes home, and his wife says, "So they're out of meat
1655 	"It's worse than that," he replies.  "They're out of bullets."
1675 	"Well, zayda, it's sort of like this.  Einstein says that if
1676 you're having your teeth drilled without Novocain, a minute seems like
1677 an hour.  But if you're sitting with a beautiful woman on your lap, an
1721 	"Anything else, sir?" asked the attentive bellhop, trying his best
1729 	"Anything else you wish to draw to my attention, Mr. Holmes ?"
1759 	"No, ma'am.  We're musicians."
1762 	"Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?"
1814 	"Bubba, Doc says you're gonna die."
1923 	"Darling," he breathed, "after making love I doubt if I'll
1966 	"Don't you think what we're doing is wrong?"
2153 where do you think you're going to find a lawyer?"
2227 	Harry, a golfing enthusiast if there ever was one, arrived home
2251 	"Well," said Harry, "if it had happened the night before, I'd be
2262 	"Hawk, we're going to die."
2302 	"Oh no, no, but it's not at all a well cat, and as we're
2332 broken part, take it to the home center, and ask an employee if he has
2336 an electronic calculator, and then say, "We're expecting a shipment of
2349 replied without rancor.  "I would not waste time in foolishness if I were
2369 	"How would I know if I believe in love at first sight?" the sexy
2382 background. It can be programmed to behave as if it were working with
2393 	"Some guy wanting to know if the coast was clear."
2478 by subway."  Those four words have such magic in them that if Godot
2486 	I looked at him and said "You know, you're the kind of guy I
2592 that is -- `Be what you would seem to be' -- or, if you'd like it put
2624 	On the other hand, if I hit you over the head with a brick,
2628 	The crucial point is if you can tell which is which.
2629 		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
2642 	But do not program in Cobol or Fortran if you can help it.
2650 	If you rap your knuckles against a window jamb or door, if you
2651 brush your leg against a bed or desk, if you catch your foot in a curled-
2656 again.  How can you pilot a spacecraft if you can't find your way around
2660 	If you're like most homeowners, you're afraid that many repairs
2688 you can call.  Nobody knows anybody else's name; just the number in case
2689 it gets so bad you can't handle it alone.  We're isolates, Arnold.  Meetings
2846 	"In this replacement Earth we're building they've given me Africa
2862 a chance for the White House if I can just get my campaign pulled together
2952 	The man on the ground yells back, "You're in a balloon, approximately
2977 for their fate to be quick, painless, and if possible, someone else's.
3014 	"Not exactly," said the embarrassed little man.  "You're lying on
3023 What is it, girl?", etc., as if this had never happened before, instead
3044 now.  They're in a band.
3050 dreams about?  You're such an old fuddyduddy!  A-and who sez it's a
3094 	"Mind if I smoke?"
3095 	"I don't care if you burst into flames and die!"
3097 	"Mind if I smoke?"
3126 passports in their hotel room.  For three weeks they're tortured day
3128 movement.  Finally they're hauled in front of a military court,
3130 	The next morning they're lined up in front of the wall where
3132 if they have any last requests.  Esther wants to know if she can call
3135 	"This is crazy!"  Murray shouts.  "We're not spies!"  And he
3158 So we're going back in a few years...
3185 	Never ask your lover if he'd dive in front of an oncoming train for
3186 you.  He doesn't know.  Never ask your lover if she'd dive in front of an
3196 	Never ask if your lover has had therapy.  Only people who have had
3197 therapy ask if people have had therapy.
3255 if you accidentally hit yourself or anything else, or expose it to
3284 lawyer was gonna ask me if my lantern was lit."
3307 wreckage.  "Why don't you look where the hell you're going!"
3338 it down, circulate it a lot and now we'll see if anyone can implement it
3350 "You're going to get it."  She bent over and kept on picking.
3403 Messiah than you.  The river delight to lift us free, if only we dare let go.
3485 and their page, the three brothers set off to see if one of them could
3583 	With UNIX, if you're looking for something, you can easily and quickly
3585 what you look for -- it's literally a five-foot shelf of documentation -- if
3605 	With UNIX, if you're looking for something, you can easily and
3608 documentation -- if you look long enough it's there.  That's the
3632 	Penn's aunts made great apple pies at low prices.  No one else in
3660 "woman," you will probably not get into trouble, and if you do, you will be
3661 able to handle it because she will be under three feet tall.  However, if you
3687 But if people mistook us for the police, that was their problem, not ours.
3690 everyone had a right to talk to the _Star-Telegram_, even if they didn't
3733 	"Reintegration complete," ZORAC advised.  "We're back in the
3764 somebody else. He even told you he'd be hurt if..."
3767 if they don't live our way."
3770 happens to be impossible.  The phrase is hurt somebody else.  We choose,
3772 Nobody else.  My vampire told you he'd be hurt if you didn't let him?  That's
3851 "An uncomfortable sort of age.  Now if you'd asked MY advice, I'd have
3871 is prime...  Well, it seems that you're right."
3875 well, if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime...  Well, it
3915 heads.  We did exactly what the textbook says you should do when you're
3920 the way to the far shore, and if we had been in a Warner Brothers
3926 	"So you don't have to, Cindy, but I was wondering if you might
4049 they're not coming out on the damn printer...  Hold?  Sure, I'll hold."
4166 	Then he remembered something else.  It was at the site of the
4196 If you're wearing a shirt that's red.
4207 with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
4213 some reason, if a non-hitchhiker discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel
4236 married!  You're a sadist, that's what!"
4413 	The panhandler thought a minute, brightened, then said, "You're
4417 change in management can harm him.  He will not be fired, even if the project
4462 You've got to start way down, at the bottom, when you're six or seven years
4463 old. You can't wait until you're fifteen or sixteen.  You've got to let it
4464 grow up with you, and if you're successful and you try hard enough, you're
4506 		   Once When You're Not Anywhere At All"
4531 	But do not program in COBOL if you can avoid it.
4540 of diamond jewelry, you're not only making an investment, you're making a
4541 statement.  You're telling the woman you love that you've just spent a lot
4616 wizardry if it cannot save a unicorn?"  He gripped the magician's shoulder
4708 they're carrying upstairs!"
4773 so to make or break that which no one else can build or ruin -- THAT is the
4783 being happy to see an orphan?  Nobody wants them... that's why they're orphans!"
4789 country.  We're completely computerized.
4800 we even sent one kid all the way to Australia.  I mean, really.  Besides, if
4807 and explaining, in detail, the gory consequences if you do.
4818 	Thompson, if he is to be believed, has sampled the entire
4823 sane.  But we will be doing what he wants us to do, I think, if we
4844 	To lose weight, eat less; to gain weight, eat more; if you merely
4850 Mallomars, and understand why a lover's quarrel isn't so bad if there's a
4873 and her first name by her mother.  By the time she was ten, didn't know if she
4915 	We don't claim Interactive EasyFlow is good for anything -- if you
5006 	"Wouldn't it be a little kinder if you drove about four more blocks
5055 	"We're running out of adjectives to describe our situation.  We
5079 	"A marketing problem.  The Model 9000 isn't going anywhere.  We're
5084 they're not selling."
5107 	"You're so analytical.  Sometimes you just have to let art
5198 invariably he can't speak English, and if he can, he always says, "Why,
5201 It may, but then you may also wake up one morning to find you're the Queen of
5218 then.  We're trying to catch her."
5224 inquired of Oscar Wilde, "You don't mind if I smoke, do you?"
5225 	Wilde gave her a sidelong glance and replied, "I don't mind if
5255 	"But, Mom," answered her daughter, "if a fellow takes you to the
5266 	With deep concern, if not alarm, Dick noted that his friend
5289 and And and And and Chips in my Fish-And-Chips sign" have been clearer if
5297 bury it or else throw it into the brook."
5310 program.  They're getting energy out of nowhere."
5338 	"You mean, if you allow the master to be uncivil, to treat you
5344 if you are polite where he is uncouth, then he will recognize you as
5391 twenty-five years of age and men thirty-one.  Even if they reached that
5397 bring electricity into your home and take if back out before it has a
5407 you'll need to get a caulking gun and some caulking.  If you're not
5596 to figure out if the object is carcdr-able anyway, we figured you might as
5652 remember what SI:RDTBL-TRANS does?", and if you can't give a reasonable answer
5680 smoke coming from under a closed door, if you find a body on the hotel
5681 carpet, or if you just meet someone who orders you to press a button
5688 to be a little phony again?  Have you disclosed so much that you're
5690 they're all beginning to feel the same?  Like to be a little dependent?
5738 ... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you
5739 were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and
5742 and refuse to take twice the value for a house if a buyer was such an idiot
5759 To minimize scheduling confusion, please realize that if you are taking one
5762 afford maximum inconvenience to the student.  For example, if you happen
5767 products, if they are built at all, are dogs!
5832 ... But if we laugh with derision, we will never understand.  Human
5861 ... [concerning quotation marks] even if we *_d_i_d* quote anybody in this
5894 the Captain, so you can keep an eye on him and nudge him if he falls
5898 ... if the church put in half the time on covetousness that it does
5988 ... Now you're ready for the actual shopping.  Your goal should be to
5999 Rudolph to guide his sleigh, as if Rudolph were nothing more than some
6005 ... Once you're safely in the mall, you should tie your children to you
6235 4.  It's bad manners to lie down inside someone else's chalk body outline.
6311 3. Always take back everything if you possibly can.
6343  4. A beer doesn't give a [expletive deleted] if you keep a bunch of
6345  5. A beer will not call you a sexist pig if you say "Doberman" instead of
6481 process.  In doing 3, you're paying homage to each and I think such
6503 40 isn't old.  If you're a tree.
6518 	purposes, or two evenings a week if they go regularly to church.
6615 a photo-safari in Africa.  As they're driving along the savannah in their
6647 work all alone is surely a bad example for the students, and probably, if
6650 stuff, and use instead, if film-strips and rap-sessions must be
6732 and declared, "You can kill me if you want to, but this torture with the
6819 a speed, if feels an impulsion... this is the place to go now.  But the
7002 as a box of rocks!  You didn't have to run if you have a license!"
7187 to have a name.  This presented a problem, as he was not sure if the name
7196 	The swiftness of her response puzzled him. "You're sure of that?" he
7198 	"Certainly," she replied. "They wouldn't sell very well if they were
7202 it to.  And, if Nissan's are female, it's like they say...  `Each Nissan, she
7364 traveled if it had not hit the tree and play the ball from there,
7682 silly," said the fly, "they're dancing."  So he settled down and became stuck
7685 Moral:  There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
7740 little kid then says, "Well, if you know when I'm bad and when I'm good,
7806 A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen
7857 	"They're only four dollars apiece."
7896 antennae coming out of his head.  He goes up to him and says, "You're not
7899 	"You know," continues the man, "I don't think you're an American,
7938 he left, he warned her if she should fell a deer to be wary of hunters who
8007 destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in
8058 A method of solution is perfect if we can foresee from the start,
8111 Save us!  Save us!  We're scared, Mother!"
8145 A national debt, if it is not excessive,
8188 rear of a Third Avenue street car -- if the car is in motion.
8198 	"But Lord, if I do that, I'll fall!"
8212 	"Well, they're taking up a collection for his wife and kids," the
8235 "I don't see why not.  It's got bloody well everything else."
8320 "we're building a house".
8355 money if the bank collapsed.  "All of our deposits are guaranteed by the
8357 	"But what if the finance ministry goes broke?" the worker asks.
8360 	"But what if the government goes broke?" the worker asks.
8363 	"And if the Soviet Union goes broke?" the worker asks.
8425 A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
8441 drink with -- even if he drank.
8470 A public debt is a kind of anchor in the storm; but if the anchor be
8476 "you could blow it in" may be blown in.  This rule does not apply if
8483 	The priest replies, "Well, if I am lucky, I guess I could become a
8486 	"I suppose that if my works are seen in a very good light that I
8492 be elected Pope, but only if it's God's will."
8663 know the relation of action to re-action, and of the need to have something
8676 idealize the oppressed, as if their politics and culture were untouched by
8677 the system of domination, as if people did not participate in their own
8745 well, he said, `Say, what do you think your mother would do if I told her
8937 Software rots if not used.
8973 A woman can look both moral and exciting -- if she also looks as if it
8986 A woman, especially if she have the misfortune
9129 	1: If you have to ask, you're not entitled to know.
9171 Above all else - sky.
9199 Absence makes the heart grow fonder -- of somebody else.
9341 and cry.  If I have to cry, I think of my sex life.  And if I have to laugh,
9408 scarcely done at all if three or more are employed therein.
9415 Adhere to your own act, and congratulate yourself if you have done
9451 way of selling goods, particularly if the goods are worthless.
9469 Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic,
9525 After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
9551 for you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have
9582 Miller was confronted by several executives.  "You're not getting away with
9583 this, Miller," one said.  "We're going to watch you day and night.  If you
9604 Russians might beat the Americans into orbit.  "I wouldn't care if they
9724 Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
9731 Blacks, 'cause if they couldn't, they'd have to wake up to the fact
9734 up is they're a bunch of misfits and losers."
10003 Yes, they're all growing old,
10004 They're all staying home on the weekend,
10005 They're all doing what they're told.
10039 parts you are reassembling were disassembled by you.  Therefore, if you
10097 too, provided you use them for business purposes.  For example, if you
10101 decision: "Where else are you going to read the paper?  Outside?  What
10102 if it rains?"
10111 What's a young poet to do?		And knew what they're doin'
10208 	When all else fails, read the instructions.
10290 Always leave room to add an explanation if it doesn't work out.
10317 	There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it
10425 An actor's a guy who if you ain't talkin' about him, ain't listening.
10482 A:		"Well, what if you want to go abroad?"
10484 A:		"Well, what if you really HAVE to go abroad?"
10518 For, if you walk down Picadilly
10562 despondent silence. Finally, the woman asked her husband if he had made his
10564 	"We're running out of food and water and you ask *that*?" her husband
10588 responded, "That may be, Milord, but at least you're better informed!"
10695 An interpretation I satisfies a sentence in the table language if and only if
10748 "BUT," says the Oncler, "now that you're here,
10755 "You're in charge of the last of the truffula seeds.
10841 And if California slides into the ocean,
10847 And if sometime, somewhere, someone asketh thee,
10850 And if you wonder,
10879 Lacks your clean velocity.		We're system untounged-
10889 You're on the right track.	Dover, oh Dover, we've missed your clean
10896 And remember: if you don't like the news, go out and make some of
10905 Got a good head if he'd apply it
10907 it's always somewhere else
10923 fascinating organ than we thought it was, and if we want to keep it
10954 And they shall beat their swords into plowshares, for if you hit a man
11014 because the bars close every time you're thirsty...
11018 and making yourself like everybody else.  You feel that, don't you?"  said
11047 Ankh if you love Isis.
11054 just one of the processors, at the same time you're designing missile ICs,
11113 Said if you will be my ownio
11115 And buy for you				You're far too bleak and bonio
11126 	The opposite of the word you're trying to think of.
11132 Nothing serious, just two wheels into your lane as you're bearing down on
11133 them at 130-plus -- to see if you're paying attention.
11251 Anybody has a right to evade taxes if he can get away with it.  No citizen
11307 that a sentence like "You're one of those computer people, aren't you?"
11346 Anything is good and useful if it's made of chocolate.
11369 cliff.  What I have to do, I have to catch everybody if they start to go
11370 over the cliff -- I mean if they're running and they don't look where they're
11377 If you want to come, you're not invited.
11471 	Are you sure you're telling the truth?  Think hard.
11472 	Does it make you happy to know you're sending me to an early grave?
11479 	You can't fool me.  I know what you're thinking.
11490 	I won't love you if you keep doing that.
11505 	You'll understand when you're older.
11535 	You'd lose your head if it weren't attached.
11550 	You're acting too big for your britches.
11553 	Bored?  If you're bored, I've got some chores for you.
11562 Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.
11602 	it is surely made out to someone else.
11623 	What if he had written this piece with lyrics, as a song to be sung?
11624 And, further, what if he had accompanied this song with a musical saw?  (This
11655 	    remind them of someone else.
11789 Doctors say that babies should smoke until they're three,
11793 kill a process if you know its true name.
11818 As long as the answer is right, who cares if the question is wrong?
11918 	it explicitly with the > character?  Is there something else that
12012 You will overcome it if you try to.
12029 Ask five economists and you'll get five different explanations (six if
12040 if thou art in the bathtub, it tolls for thee.
12066 everything else is peaches and cream."  The writers elected Gentleman Jim,
12115 not.  But obviously it cannot be where it is not.  And if it is where
12138 you're smart, just don't start.  Remember, if any weirdo offers you
12160 At least they're _E_X_P_E_R_I_E_N_C_E_D incompetents.
12198 room, over to the man's bedside and tells him "Seems like you're gonna die!"
12264 Authors are easy to get on with -- if you're fond of children.
12275 They're a dime a dozen.
12291 ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
12311 correspondents were curious as to just what the Poles would do if they were
12312 invaded.  They asked, "What will you do if the East Germans invade from the
12420 Base 8 is just like base 10, if you are missing two fingers.
12427 Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today?
12647 That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have
12681 Being a mime means never having to say you're sorry.
12683 Being a miner, as soon as you're too old and tired and sick and
12699 if you fight for a sensible step in the right direction which others
12815 four of the cinema's greatest moments which you should get to see if at all
12965 	When *everybody* thinks you're a pervert.
12968 	(1) In any given document, you can't cover all the "what if's".
12969 	(2) Lawyers stay in business resolving all the unresolved "what if's".
12970 	(3) Every resolved "what if" creates two unresolved "what if's".
13153 	If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.
13206 that out of a Boston man if you had the tire of all creation
13262 They're the huge, fat, middle waist.  The archetype is an Irish drunk
13265 well.  They're straight-looking except they've got inflatable shoes.  They
13270 Brace yourselves.  We're about to try something that borders on the
13317 shouts, "Back to second if I can make it."
13390 If you are civil to the voluble, they will abuse your patience; if
13394 British education is probably the best in the world, if you can survive
13404 the hand of the Arabs.  They also believe that if you sleep with your
13489 BULLWINKLE: "What else?  An executive..."
13522 	Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
13573 "No you're not... in a moment you'll be stone dead!"
13582 even, if we thought this way, have less crime.  The popular view of
13591 But if you wish at once to do nothing and to be respectable
13654 States was 1937; the electric companies have been merely re-selling it
13731 By the time you swear you're his,
13784 anything else.  It is either the best language available to the art
13800 California is a fine place to live -- if you happen to be an orange.
13835 Calvin:	"You mean if we're good or if we're bad?"
13837 Calvin Coolidge looks as if he had been weaned on a pickle.
13887 when you're poor and unhappy.
13923 	don't know what they're talking about any more than your Aunt Martha.
13927 	else, such as think.  Romance is in the air, but not for you, so forget
13978 Catch a wave and you're sitting on top of the world.
14005 Cecil, you're my final hope
14017 But if this queer thing has perplexed even you,
14030 Did you ever have the measles, and, if so, how many?
14080 Don't let that stop you; if you don't bet, you can't win.
14148 Check me if I'm wrong, Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers...
14149 they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key!
14200 Chicagoan:	"So, where're you from?"
14222 Children are unpredictable.  You never know what inconsistency they're
14231 Rarely, if ever, do they forgive them.
14261 a friend if she were a man.
14275 Now we're all so proud of Grandpa,		back.
14290 Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it.
14355 Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're
14396 passer-by obliged, and the string re-entered the bar.  "May I have a beer,
14492 Cogito ergo I'm right and you're wrong.
14526 College football is a game which would be much more interesting if the
14527 faculty played instead of the students, and even more interesting if
14534 	Where they don't buy M & M's, 'cause they're so hard to peel.
14555 one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about," says Broughton,
14556 "but the important thing is that they're not about to admit it."
14564 	This is especially true when dealing with someone you're
14663 	such a manner as to make the human feel as if he is in control.
14917 KL-10, none of whose connectors match anything else] The tendency of
14936 when everything else feels great.
14941 Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
14955 	One who admires radicals centuries after they're dead.
14970 What happens if one spreads Blue Bonnet margarine on a Ritz cracker?  The
15015 "Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, "if it was so, it might be, and
15016 if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't.  That's logic!"
15040 Cops never say good-bye.  They're always hoping to see you again in the
15080 in decimal -- if you are all thumbs.
15084 in decimal -- if you don't use your thumbs.
15154 seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves.
15182 	(If you're tired of choosing the lesser of two evils.)
15450 literally.  Link what transpires on the net to the causes of the Holocaust, if
15539 I carry a big black umbrella, even if there's just a thirty percent chance of
15549 although it would be more convincing if you stopped babbling about how
15563 if, instead of Froot Loops, they put a can of shaving cream there, or a
15592 maps or looking for alternate routes.  Just think, if you couldn't distribute
15599 	Don't forget.  The world will end if your message doesn't get through,
15631 Only it doesn't leave you much time to think about anything else.
15761 I believe that if people would learn to use LSD's vision-inducing capability
15808 Democracy is a government where you can say what you think even if you
15849 	In which you say what you like and do what you're told.
15891 Depend on the rabbit's foot if you will,
15953 Did you ever wonder what you'd say to God if He sneezed?
16004 Did you know that if you took all the economists in the world and lined
16093 	2: Get re-elected.
16268 Do you guys know what you're doing, or are you just hacking?
16278 like poison.  Even if some thinkers are fanciful, it is wrong to make
16316 comfortably so long together if ever we had been married?
16388 Don't be humble, you're not that great.
16391 Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
16419 Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.
16473 Don't have good ideas if you aren't willing to be responsible for them.
16496 until you have hold of something else.
16503 remember, if you don't follow your dreams,
16538 if you do it today, you can do it again tomorrow.
16558 Don't shoot until you're sure you both aren't on the same side.
16640 Don't worry if you're a kleptomaniac,
16643 Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you.  They're too
16655 Dorothy:	How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?
16791 Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route!
16883 competition; if you want to use computer programs that conform to Apple's
16899 months, might as well have been written by someone else.  (Eagleson is
16923 	pilot if he touches anything.
16927 be groggy when everyone else is wide awake.
16993 	The notion that bigger is better.  In particular, that if you want
17013 Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent.
17052 To make eggnog, you'll need rum, whiskey, wine, gin and, if they are in
17165 	"Nu ... so if I'll close the window, will it be warm outside?"
17234 Enjoy yourself while you're still old.
17285 Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
17337 Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
17341 Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.
17344 Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
17378 Ever feel like you're the head pin on life's
17394 We're big but bigger we will be,
17400 And new fields we're sure to conquer, too
17405 We're bound for the top to never fall,
17409 Our leaders we revere and while we're here,
17447 Ever wonder if taxation without representation might have been cheaper?
17551 Thus, if a man bred to the seafaring life, and accustomed to think and talk
17555 by the rules of navigation: and if he should take it into his head to
17603 	Or else his dear papa is poor.
17617 But you do have to understand body language to know when they're lying and
17688 a pen.  I want you to sign the papers.  I'm sorry, but if you don't sign,
17689 you're fired.  As of right now."
17700 if you want to use yours for growing hair, that's fine with me.
17702 Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
17782 Everyone's in a high place when you're on your knees.
17812 if only one thing had been different in the past.
17855 Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers.  My
17904 Support:  "You're not our only customer, you know."
17905 Customer: "But we're one of the few with tactical nuclear weapons."
17911 screws and lift system board at fan end while powering on to see if OCP
17925 Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do
17967 particularly if he adds a firm handshake, is hiding something.
18019 	On the poison they're exuding.
18100 love.  You can tell you're in love by the way you feel: your head becomes
18101 light, your heart leaps within you, you feel like you're walking on air,
18148 	3. What happens if you touch these two wires tog...
18248 You would not be so agile if you lacked its counterbalance;
18421 you're ever walking down the street and you notice some people who look
18438 for its termination on someone else (i.e., the authority who imposed
18453 	First, tell 'em what you're goin' to tell 'em;
18513 That ditch out in the Valley that they're diggin' just for me,
18575 a moment.  Perhaps they're mislead."
18577 "No, I know they're stolen," cried Florence.  "I remember putting them
18593 1. n. The solution, if any, to a class of Mascheroni construction
18636 Football builds self-discipline.  What else would induce
18697 For example, if \thinmskip = 3mu, this makes \thickmskip = 6mu.  But if
18744 For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble:
18815 For there are moments when one can neither think nor feel.  And if one can
18846 him to do so.  "No, no," he said: "if I did, where should I have to
18879 For what it's worth, if you -can- get Michelle Pfeiffer to model
19024 hate you, and you're a total floozy.  But I want you to know that there's
19026 drunken phone call, that 99% if all men have made at least once.  There are
19045 jerk, I guess you're OK."
19083 	The average woman would really like to be told if her mate is fooling
19084 around behind her back.  This same woman wouldn't tell her best friend if
19086 OTHER friends, however.  The average man won't say anything if he knows that
19087 one of his friend's mates is fooling around, and he'd rather not know if
19090 so they can be ready if he needs an alibi.
19151 they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Deborah and Michelle.  But if
19235 	(if sometimes fatal) lesson.
19264 left out of chewing tobacco, and if toes are found in chewing tobacco, it
19272 species but that it is seldom, if ever, so used when applied to a female
19286 	the portions that attribute recent failures to someone else.
19338 	And while you're at it, throw in a couple of those Dallas
19379 Vi estas la sola esperantisto kiun mi	You're the only Esperanto speaker
19399 Mi ^cevalovipus vin se mi havus		I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
19456 	"Johnny, if you fall and break your leg, don't come running to me!"
19484 	I'll stay out of animals' way if they'll stay out of mine.
19559 	"How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"
19615 	A New York City judge ruled that if two women behind you at the
19640     if reality disappears?
19644     if you meet an older version of yourself who has invented a time
19651 	when you'll die, or if you'll marry your current SO.
19655     if you get a phone call from Mars:
19657 	your vocabulary to simple words.  Try to determine if you are
19660     if he, she or it doesn't speak English?
19666     if you get a phone call from Jupiter?
19674     if a starship, equipped with an FTL hyperdrive lands in your backyard?
19677 	you anyway.  Be polite.  Remember, if they have an FTL hyperdrive,
19682     if you wake up in the middle of the night, and discover that your
19760 	   information and prejudice from your minds, if you have
19782 Q:  When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were
19816 never known.  Thus, the possibility of your misinterpreting someone else's
19835 Forty isn't old, if you're a tree.
19867 	Every instructor assumes that you have nothing else to do except
19872 	interferences -- if you have none, someone will make one
19895 Freedom is nothing else but the chance to do better.
19954 turning a knob on an oscilloscope, then if he's carefully adjusting it
19955 he is probably tweaking it; if he is just turning it but looking at the
19956 screen he is probably twiddling it; but if he's just doing it because
20044 	if we were to "listen" to one spacecraft in the outer solar
20102 Furthermore, if we send something by car, it's a shipment...
20103 but if we send it by ship, it's cargo.
20192 Genetics explains why you look like your father, and if you don't, why
20260 	"Bring a friend, if you have one."
20264 	"Please send me two tickets for the next night, if there is one."
20286 	"Don't be silly, George," replied the dog.  "Think of the odds we're
20489 if you really have a deep-seated desire to be fussy, or if you are of Swedish
20534 teachings of the Bible that it would be difficult to support them if faith
20544 Go 'way!  You're bothering me!
20546 Goals... Plans... they're fantasies, they're part of a dream world...
20585 ... not enough to support a man and five children if he insists on
20652 God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
20802 Good morning.  This is the telephone company.  Due to repairs, we're
20885 	revolting, remarks that it's an acquired taste and that you're
20916 no smarter than undergrads.  They're just older.
20997 Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
21044 Job's daughters, and if you're lucky you can become a robot.  As for the
21145 	beater if you have a cat(1) that can climb wall(1s) to lick it off
21180 You'd treat, if met where any bar is
21219 Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
21402 attitude is: "We're wild horses.  We're going to eat your food, knock
21403 down your tent and poop on your shoes.  We're protected by federal law,
21413 	You can lead a horse to water, but if you can
21497 somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.
21575 How can you tell me you're lonely,
21590 If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
21599 If you're blue and you don't know where to go to,
21606 Having a baby isn't so bad.  If you're a female Emperor penguin
21649 He asked me if I knew what time it was -- I said yes, but not right now.
21733 He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
21761 [He] played the King as if afraid someone else might play the ace.
21770 He played the king as if afraid someone else would play the ace.
21815 He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
21895 He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
22060 Hell, if you don't try to remake someone,
22082 And you're out on some back road when the car stalls and won't start, so
22204 if you're alive, it isn't.
22234 the earth and if it opens wider, go, "Whoa! Whoa!" and flap your arms
22235 around as if you're going to fall.
22264 He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd be
22375 Higgins:	Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue.
22508 History repeats itself only if one does not listen the first time.
22525 If that coat'll fit you're wearin',
22582 	if it's one of our heroes on the other end).
22585 	tricks him (two shots if it's Colonel Klink).
22588 -- Sergeant Schultz gives up a secret (two shots if he's bribed with food).
22592 -- Carter builds some kind of device (two shots if it's not explosive).
22601 Hollywood is where if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
22648 Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say "Honk if ..."
22650 Honk if you love peace and quiet.
22702 Housework can kill you if done right.
22711 How can you be in two places at once when you're not anywhere at all?
22719 How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?
22732 How come everyone's going so slow if it's called rush hour?
22819 d'oeuvre.  If they're those little pastry things where you can't tell
22841 How much net work could a network work, if a network could net work?
22846 only by setting out for somewhere else.
22865 How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
22897 that if I want to be a moral person, I must believe in "A," "B," "C," and
22903 of the way if they try to dictate their moral convictions to all Americans
22921 I'm a computer, and you're a person.  It would never work out.
22967 You're going to be roped!  And you're going to be caged!  And, as for your
23024 What are our schools for if not indoctrination against Communism?
23095 I am an optimist.  It does not seem too much use being anything else.
23189 I am the wandering glitch -- catch me if you can.
23238 perfect woman.  I believed that if I looked long enough, and hard enough,
23253 particularly if he has income and she is pattable.
23272 and everything else in the world is fixed.
23307 more effective.  For the first half-hour, you're lulled into an agreeable
23323 They're still living in the fifties.
23456 instead! Now when I drive at night, it looks like everyone else is
23516 unless you keep in practice.  Now, sir, we'll talk if you like.  I'll tell
23533 mind like mine to perceive.  For instance, if you add a sum from the
23543 I do not care if half the league strikes.  Those who do will encounter
23544 quick retribution.  All will be suspended, and I don't care if it wrecks
23548 		   threatened strike by some Cardinal players in 1947 if
23602 I don't care what star you're following, get that camel off my front lawn!
23659 I don't know why we're here, I say we all go home and free associate.
23661 I don't like spinach, and I'm glad I don't, because if I liked it I'd
23747 their federal programs as if they were merely poor people ...
23751 I don't want to bore you, but there's nobody else around for me to bore.
23785 I figure that if God actually does exist, He's big enough to understand an
23929 people.  They were small and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they
23933 and rodent-like with padlocked ears, as if they had stepped out of a
23957 I hate babies.  They're so human.
23975 there's nothing else to do.
23978 I hate trolls.  Maybe I could metamorph it into something else -- like a
24113 have never met you, but if I do you'll need a new nose and plenty of
24213 a mere triumph over mechanical difficulties, or simply curious, or if the
24217 ever publicly express an opinion that such a machine would be useless if
24278 I hear what you're saying but I just don't care.
24290 My joy would be complete, dear, if you were only here,
24300 I hope you're not pretending to be evil while
24314 and said he'd be glad to appear as a character witness on my behalf if I
24342 I know if you been talkin' you done said
24348 They can always swear they're deaf, dumb and blind.
24375 I know what you're thinking -- "Did he fire six shots or only five?"
24389 I know you're in search of yourself, I just haven't seen you anywhere.
24421 She asked me if I'd beat her.
24548 -- around the sun.  If we have the mass of Jupiter to work with, and if
24619 But from the milk we're getting now
24626 I'll kill you if you quote it.
24715 they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go
24748 win large cash journalism awards if you stick to the topics I usually
24774 reader.  But if I find that I cannot terrify, I will try to horrify, and if
24790 "You're right."  The porter said, "I knew Thomson doesn't write counterpoint
24818 if they don't get it.
24884 He said "I'll go and wake them if ..."
24928 There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our
24939 Brothers -- they're going to make a game out of it.
24971 too much damage if it catches fire or explodes.  First you decide which
25015 	quarter a full 3 seconds before passing the basket if you are
25126 off this earth, uh, the darker it gets ... I think if you look at the
25139 I think the world would be a more peaceful place if people
25172 I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
25175 I think we're in trouble.
25251 I understand why you're confused.  You're thinking too much.
25293 He said "You're sick, you're obscene".
25368 anything else ... I was not a Child Prodigy, because a Child Prodigy is
25399 around here often?"  She said, "You're wearing two different-color socks."
25400 I said, "Yes, but to me they're the same because I go by thickness."
25401 She said, "How do you feel?" And I said, "You know when you're sitting on a
25402 chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so
25462 I watch television because you don't know what it will do if you leave it
25501 As if you just squashed a cop.
25508 I went to a job interview the other day, the guy asked me if I had any
25509 questions, I said yes, just one, if you're in a car traveling at the
25518 would eventually be in the millions, someone else said, "Where are they
25547 but not into it if I can help it.
25565 But if I do...
25567 But if I do...
25569 But if I do...
25571 But if I do...
25634 I would be batting the big feller if they wasn't ready with the other one,
25635 but a left-hander would be the thing if they wouldn't have knowed it already
25647 I would have promised those terrorists a trip to Disneyland if it would have
25680 they're being taped.
25693 I wouldn't be so paranoid if you weren't all out to get me!!
25757 I'd be a poorer man if I'd never seen an eagle fly.
25764 I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
25786 I'd love to go out with you, but I have to stay home and see if I
25830 I'd never cry if I did find
25843 I'd probably settle for a vampire if he were romantic enough.
25901 If a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far.
25934 is, "God is crying."  And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing
25938 If a listener nods his head when you're explaining your program, wake
25964 and the irony of it is that if it is comfort or money it values more, it
25986 is simply that "God is crying."  And, if he asks you why God is crying, the
26035 If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
26038 If all else fails, lower your standards.
26069 responding to them from a studio audience, we're disengaged - voyeurs
26073 		   in "I'm Dysfunctional, You're Dysfunctional".
26079 Then, if also an S and an I and a G
26094 We're offering a substantial reward.  He's a sable collie, with three legs,
26121 If at first you don't succeed, you're doing about average.
26189 If everything is coming your way then you're in the wrong lane.
26192 be coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
26206 exception, and if we follow it to its logical end we must agree that there
26328 If I 'cp /bin/csh /dev/audio' shouldn't I hear the ocean?
26376 if I had it to do over again, I'd have more of them.  In fact, I'd try to
26377 have nothing else.  Just moments, one after another, instead of living so many
26483 answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary.
26488 If it smells it's chemistry, if it crawls it's biology, if it doesn't work
26514 If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.
26528 send it.  But if *two* pieces of mail get lost, hell, they'll just think the
26529 other guy hasn't gotten around to answering his mail.  And if *fifty* pieces
26530 of mail get lost, can you imagine it, if *fifty* pieces of mail get lost, why
26531 they'll think something *else* is broken!  And if 1Gb of mail gets lost,
26547 If life isn't what you wanted, have you asked for anything else?
26549 If little else, the brain is an educational toy.
26581 And if breaking the law means a man will be killed,
26611 it could make its own way; and each animated by a jealous fear that, if any
26775 If the colleges were better, if they really had it, you would need to
26913 If they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical,
26970 If we don't survive, we don't do anything else.
27003 do something else.
27071 If you are smart enough to know that you're not
27072 smart enough to be an Engineer, then you're in Business.
27089 If you can read this, you're too close.
27134 it; for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.
27146 would have happened if you had done it.
27150 If you don't drink it, someone else will.
27164 If you don't know what game you're playing, don't ask what the score is.
27183 If you ever want to get anywhere in politics, my boy, you're going to
27270 The writer of the letter asked a civil question; attack cats, then, only if
27289 If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.
27296 If you hype something and it succeeds, you're a genius -- it wasn't a
27340 If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets
27358 If they don't come back, then call them up when you're drunk.
27370 If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you;
27371 but if you really make them think they'll hate you.
27426 if they get out of step.  Let me have men about me that are utter villains
27441 But a diamond is a diamond even if there are no customers.
27444 If you sit down at a poker game and don't see a sucker, get up.  You're
27451 If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from
27466 one thing is for sure, you're gonna get your rear kicked.
27470 If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
27489 If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car
27520 several days from now and call their lawyers to find out if they've
27529 that they don't arrest anybody.  Or if they're dead set on arresting
27550 If you understand what you're doing, you're not learning anything.
27567 read by persons who move their lips when they're reading to themselves.
27600 even if they don't know what it means.
27655 If your happiness depends on what somebody else does,
27663 Even if tired of thought,
27670 If your mother knew what you're doing,
27679 If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real
27680 embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.
27683 If you're careful enough, nothing
27686 If you're carrying a torch, put it down.
27689 If you're constantly being mistreated,
27690 you're cooperating with the treatment.
27692 If you're crossing the nation in a covered wagon, it's better to have four
27697 If you're going to America, bring your own food.
27700 If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for
27704 If you're going to walk on thin ice, you might as well dance.
27706 If you're happy, you're successful.
27708 If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
27710 If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
27713 If you're right 90% of the time, why quibble about the remaining 3%?
27715 If you're worried by earthquakes and nuclear war,
27766 I'll be Grateful when they're Dead.
27773 I'll even Hara Kari if you show me how, but I will *not* carry a gun.
27806 I'll pretend to trust you if you'll pretend to trust me.
27836 		-- "The Doomsday Machine", when asked if he had heard of
27870 I'm also inclined to believe that if you wait long enough, you will
27881 I know what you're going to say --
27977 Please say that you're not mad at me
28039 to me if there weren't extraterrestrial intelligence, but of course there is as
28064 I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
28076 I'm sorry if the correct way of doing things offends you.
28102 Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the
28115 Imagine there's no heaven... it's easy if you try.
28125 	In order for something to become clean, something else must
28184 revolution.  But, it was clear to everybody, that if you looked at it from
28266 be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's
28283 In any problem, if you find yourself doing an infinite amount of work,
28403 In God we trust; all else we walk through.
28439 In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness, you send out for it.
28499 In my experience, if you have to keep the lavatory door shut by extending
28511 In Ohio, if you ignore an orator on Decoration day to such an extent as
28521 In order to discover who you are, first learn who everybody else is;
28522 you're what's left.
28600 In short, _N is Richardian if, and only if, _N is not Richardian.
28693 In the force if Yoda's so strong, construct a sentence with words in
28696 In the future, you're going to get computers as prizes in breakfast cereals.
28735 In the next world, you're on your own.
28750 a loaf of bread.  However, if a sheep stole a loaf of bread and gave it
28813 So, I may as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
28853 But only if the NFL to a franchise would agree.
28875 And if you do not like me so,
28958 		It is forbidden to enter a woman, even a foreigner if
29029 	Realizing halfway through a joke that you're telling it to
29078 Interfere?  Of course we should interfere!  Always do what you're
29138 Is a wedding successful if it comes off without a hitch?
29142 Is it possible that software is not like anything else, that it is
29156 Is sex dirty?  Only if it's done right.
29235 I would deny, though, that the formula [Necessarily if some x has property P
29238 necessary that if someone is a better logician than I am then someone is a
29256 It does not matter if you fall down as long as you
29260 done and what you're going to do.
29265 next morning it was someone else.
29380 It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
29398 Furthermore, if the architecture team did it, his 150 men would sit twiddling
29400 	To this the architecture manager responded that if I gave the control
29528 It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle if it is
29594 if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
29595 		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
29648 they're alone.  The world has grown so suspicious of anything that looks
29722 worthy cause, and if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that
29737 kind of cute in the typical tinsel-town way if it wasn't for the knife
29799 kill me.  You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest.
29826 yourself-because-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown up.
29865 It is true that if your paperboy throws your paper into the bushes for
29919 Sure they eat fish if that's all you give them!  Man, wise up.
29931 good either if you speak when your head is empty.
29962 It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
29996 It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
30075 when you're stickin' those artificial stimulants in your arm.
30099 I should have found it pleasanter if I had been able to decipher it.  I
30116 	"My car broke down," said the traveler, "and I want to know if you
30143 It would be nice if the Food and Drug Administration stopped issuing
30151 It would save me a lot of time if you just gave up and went mad now.
30158 It'll be a nice world if they ever get it finished.
30214 with if only they'd make the first approach.
30220 It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
30242 ... and if you don't believe it, try proving that it's easier done than
30279 first thing a principle does -- if it really is a principle -- is to
30288 even if most of them are bad.
30293 It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
30303 you're getting something off your chest.
30319 It's is not, it isn't ain't, and it's it's, not its, if you mean it is.
30359 It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong
30411 what you're taking for it...
30415 It's not so hard to lift yourself by your bootstraps once you're off
30465 It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough,
30481 	just to see if it's real,
30496 the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
30503 It's the thought, if any, that counts!
30505 It's useless to try to hold some people to anything they say while they're
30541 when they wake up, that's as good as they're gonna feel all day!
30587 I've found my niche.  If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was
30596 I've got all the money I'll ever need if I die by 4 o'clock.
30636 I've spent almost all of my life with highly intelligent men.  They're not
30821 Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
30829 someone else's cash.
30894 are forbidden.  They are less allowed than allowed transitions, if you see
30904 Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
31018 Ed: It's all any reasonable child can expect if the dad is present
31111 numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver.  Rather, if the
31365 Ladies, here's a hint: If you're playing against a friend who has big
31387 	"Winston, if you were my husband, I'd put poison in your coffee."
31389 	"Nancy, if you were my wife, I'd drink it."
31401 her guest of honor.  The accompanying card read: "I would be most obliged if
31416 Laissez Faire Economics is the theory that if
31439 Lank: Here we go.  We're about to set a new record.
31487 Last week a cop stopped me in my car.  He asked me if I had a police record.
31508 Laugh and the world thinks you're an idiot.
31510 Laugh at your problems: everybody else does.
31557 Lawful Dungeon Master -- and they're MY laws!
31633 everything else follows in the same way.
31659 	When hammering a nail, you will never hit your finger if you
31705 	fact, if you can laugh at what happens to you today, you've got
31719 Let me assure you that to us here at First National, you're not just a
31720 number.  You're two numbers, a dash, three more numbers, another dash and
31823 Treat them as if they were real;
31865   into the toaster, the statement "Not even if your wedding ring falls
31880 spend hours poring over a sweat-stained document.  So even if you owe
31902 	Even if someone doesn't care what the world thinks
31924 Liberals are the first to dump you if you con them or get into
31959 Lies!  All lies!  You're all lying against my boys!
31979 Life can be so tragic -- you're here today and here tomorrow.
31996 Life is a concentration camp.  You're stuck here and there's no way
32000 Life is a gamble at terrible odds, if it was a bet you wouldn't take it.
32004 important than something else.  If what already is, is more important
32030 humane person would wantonly inflict on someone else.
32073 We're, all of us, looking for the key.
32093 Life is like bein' on a mule team.  Unless you're
32124 Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
32151 embittered and depressed than before (if such a thing is possible).
32162 Life would be much simpler and things would get done much faster if it
32166 Life would be so much easier if we could just look at the source code.
32245 Like I said, love wouldn't be so blind if the braille
32249 Like, if I'm not for me, then fer shure, like who will be?  And if, y'know,
32250 if I'm not like fer anyone else, then hey, I mean, what am I?  And if not
32251 now, like I dunno, maybe like when?  And if not Who, then I dunno, maybe
32294 fine with me because I had come to realize that if I had lived I would have
32344 	I've been watching you from way off...  You're looking great!
32389 their desires, they're ready to buy, they're ready to spend, it is a thing
32413 				Or if I die.
32428 	Did you know... that if you dial 911 in Los Angeles you get
32446 Live never to be ashamed if anything you do or say is
32447 published around the world -- even if what is published is not true.
32450 Live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.
32454 you're on the lam like me, you appreciate a good cup of coffee.
32467 to want things that nobody else wants.
32494   guilt is to establish theirs by putting them on trial before they're
32496   the sea floor, and you're helping reduce crime in the reefs.  Grasp the
32523 But let them prove it if they can.
32581 home "Cuddles", so you're going out to buy a canned ham.
32582 And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?
32587 And you're still drinking ordinary scotch?
32656 	I'll let you play with my life if you'll let me play with yours.
32662 	When, if asked to choose between your lover
32670 	because you're very sensitive to pleasure.
32792 Love means having to say you're sorry every five minutes.
32794 Love means never having to say you're sorry.
32827 Love your enemies: they'll go crazy trying to figure out what you're up
32844 Prince of Darkness".  Of course, if Lucas were to design and manufacture
32909 Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them
32988 	2.  The experiment may be considered a success if no more than
32998 Maj. Bloodnok:	Seagoon, you're a coward!
33010 	Do you realize how many holes there would be if people
33129 Man usually avoids attributing cleverness to somebody else -- unless it
33208 Man's reach must exceed his grasp, for why else the heavens?
33301 Many people feel that if you won't let
33398 surprised at the large number that re-enlist.
33491 	You can always find what you're not looking for.
33514 Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!
33608 God turn their hearts; and if he doesn't turn their hearts, may
33655 McDonald's -- Because you're worth it.
33667 just like everyone else.
33688 Meantime, in the slums below Ronnie's Ranch, Cynthia feels as if some one
33698 bus drive him to bitter revenge.  Alas, if this fails, and the voodoo boxen
33760 They're attracted by what I don't mind...
33786 pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
33871 	bound to rain if you forget your umbrella.
34035 	Any simple problem can be made insoluble if enough meetings are
34040 	as if, somehow, the cause of the error lies there.
34192 awfully comfortable while you're being miserable.
34204 Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
34279 At this the Rogerians' star player said "I hear you saying you think we're
34290 man all my life.  Would it be so terrible if You let me win the lottery
34306 	Don't worry if it doesn't work right.  If everything did, you'd
34329 They're up in the morning,
34330 	off and a-running till they're too tired for having fun.
34337 	I guess you're gonna be all right.
34348 either to ourselves or to someone else.
34415 if you'll consider their unacceptable offer.
34417 Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.
34428 Most seminars have a happy ending.  Everyone's glad when they're over.
34469 shirts but they're going back.
34476 at midnight you're no longer licensed as an investigator.
34564 will be all right."  And what happens?  Nine months later, you're in
34586 Must be getting close to town -- we're hitting more people.
34624 Does it really matter if the ABC people are inferior to the DEF people if
34727 to center field, let's just let it roll to see if it might go foul."
34748 would be better for us both if you were to just log out again.
34793 My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been
34813 And once you're gone you can never come back	There's more to the picture
34814 When you're out of the blue			Than meets the eye
34874 lines, and they're going to stay that way.
34892 part if you want to sing the "Messiah," if you get my drift.  Then I hop
35090 if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
35167 Never ask the barber if you need a haircut.
35186 Never commit yourself!  Let someone else commit you.
35212 Never, ever lie to someone you love unless you're
35219 Never face facts; if you do you'll never get up in the morning.
35287 Never pay a compliment as if expecting a receipt.
35325 Never tell.  Not if you love your wife ... In fact, if your old lady walks
35443 1700 N. 17th St. this morning to see if the elevator was on its way down.
35524 else to try.  If they work, they go in the Book.  Otherwise you follow
35539 No bird soars too high if he soars with his own wings.
35652 Continent, a part of the maine; if a Clod bee washed away by the Sea,
35653 Europe is the lesse, as well as if a Promontorie were, as well as if
35661 No man is an island if he's on at least one mailing list.
35664 and if we are loved we are indispensable.
35667 No man would listen to you talk if he didn't know it was his turn next.
35876 you're only here for a limited time.
35891 No wonder you're tired!  You understood so much today.
35911 if we talked to each other--not just pitter-patter, but real talk.  We
35932 Nobody really knows what happiness is, until they're married.
35954 Nobody takes a bribe.  Of course at Christmas if you happen to hold out
35969 merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid.
35993 ever considers himself expert if he really knows his job.  A man who knows a
36015 No-one would remember the Good Samaritan if he had only had good
36122       They're demanding beer.
36145 Normally our rules are rigid; we tend to discretion, if for no other
36179 then they put them all together, and if one didn't fit, why they
36278 Nothing is illegal if one hundred businessmen decide to do it.
36369 if all possible objections must be first overcome.
36427 And if I fail to learn this junk,
36429 But if I do, don't pity me at all,
36476 to plug her latest book.  And, if you still feel a twinge of guilt for
36483 3: Would a longer life be worthwhile if it had to be lived as prescribed...
36528 	We're on the road and we're gunning for the Buddha.
36530 	We're on the road and we're gunning for the Buddha.
36563 Numeric stability is probably not all that important when you're guessing.
36568 Groucho:	Only if the computers really love each other.
36622 	"And if the Party says that it is not four but five --
36688 if you don't know them too well.
36701 And of TV news, believe 25% -- make that 5% if the anchorman wears a blazer.
36729 Oh Dad!  We're ALL Devo!
36737 They're burning our streets and beating me blue.
36743 "Now listen my son, although you're confused,
36761 	see if I don't.
36778 	When we're ready to start, we can take Mars apart,
36951 Ok, note to all reading this: if I ask for information and you don't
36961 OK, so you're a Ph.D.  Just don't touch anything.
37022 as if it was a FLAVOR, or an INGREDIENT ... or ... I ... um ...
37042 	A dwarf is small, even if he stands on a mountain top;
37043 	a colossus keeps his height, even if he stands in a well.
37077 and God, this is goodbye.  We're moving to Hollywood."
37089 Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers
37190 Upon your knees if you appear,
37203 side can grow up, if they succeed in loving the distance between them
37229 And the load is only 1.6 and you wonder if it'll stay,
37317 resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the Mongol hordes, march to the Polish
37320 	"Hmmmm.  I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite the
37324 	"I want Genghis Khan resurrected.  I want him to re-unite his ---"
37337 	"Very well, if I have told a lie, then hang me!"
37347 	A week later his friend drops by to ask the genius if he's had any
37530 be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending
37587 One pill makes you larger		And if you go chasing rabbits
37588 And, one pill makes you small.		And you know you're going to fall.
37749 food.  But if successful, you join the elite sodality that spends hours
37833 	bureau to see if his license has expired.
37840 Orcs really aren't so bad (if you use lots of catsup).
37887 system, because we can't fix it if it breaks -- nobody can.'"
37889 "TCP/IP is OK if you've got a little informal club, and it doesn't make
37890 any difference if it takes a while to fix it."
37932 gobble us up if we did not blindly rally behind it  by furnishing the
37974 So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
38090 	One thing, at least it proves that you're alive!
38141 criticize, but if everybody hated you, you'd be paranoid too.
38155 Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they
38189 	in his grave if he knew about it.
38221 A:	If you're starving.  If you're starving in the park one day.
38374 at yourself and you will understand everyone else.  How would Seldon have
38376 if he didn't understand people; and how could he have done that if people
38410 if they have anything else to amuse them.
38487 People will accept your ideas much more readily if you tell them that
38537 Perhaps the most widespread illusion is that if we were in power we would
38618 	Get up one time more than you're knocked down.
38625 	When you think you're going down for the third time --
38633 	(4) Suicide only works when you're bluffing.
38659 	To flick a bulb on and off when it burns out (as if, somehow,
38677 Her name was Ann, and I'll be damned if I recall her face,
38686 I wonder if she'll ever do the same,
38692 I wonder if the years have closed her mind,
38752 nobody else wants it.  Your mortgage will be foreclosed.  You will
38820 Please forgive me if, in the heat of battle,
38906 Plots are like girdles.  Hidden, they hold your interest; revealed, they're
39127 Poverty must have its satisfactions, else there would not be so many
39158 Practical people would be more practical if they would take a little
39213 President Thieu says he'll quit if he doesn't get more than 50% of the
39249 	badly than someone else.
39276 And there's no reason for it.  So what if I didn't attend the Royal Academy
39347 Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
39470 three friends.  If they're OK, you're it.
39488 	Someone who watches everyone else when an attractive woman walks
39491 Psychologists think they're experimental psychologists.
39492 Experimental psychologists think they're biologists.
39493 Biologists think they're biochemists.
39494 Biochemists think they're chemists.
39495 Chemists think they're physical chemists.
39496 Physical chemists think they're physicists.
39497 Physicists think they're theoretical physicists.
39498 Theoretical physicists think they're mathematicians.
39499 Mathematicians think they're metamathematicians.
39500 Metamathematicians think they're philosophers.
39501 Philosophers think they're gods.
39528 fact what you are thinking is that if this person ever ends up in a
39530 the first day even if they have plenty of food and water.
39568 We're hacking, hacking, hacking.
39582 Or just call in and say you're sick.
39611 A:	He got re-possessed!
39616 Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is having an affair with
39620 Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is sitting on your back
39650 Q:	How do you know when you're in the <ethnic> section of Vermont?
39706 Q:	What happens if you've got TWO flats?
39715 Q:	How can you tell if an elephant is in your refrigerator?
39718 Q:	How can you tell if two elephants are in your refrigerator?
39721 Q:	How can you tell if three elephants are in your refrigerator?
39724 Q:	How can you tell if four elephants are in your refrigerator?
39805 A:	You won't find a lawyer who can change a light bulb.  Now, if
39806 	you're looking for a lawyer to screw a light bulb...
39863 	[Warning: do not tell this joke to Romulans or else be ready for
39899 	No time to lose, so certainly don't wait a day, or check to see if
39900 	somebody else has made the correction.
39902 	And it's not good enough to send the message by mail.  Since you're
40168 A:	Because they're worth it!
40253 	it at home, they only take one, and if they drink it while
40270 Q:	How do you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
40275 A:	'Cause if you give him a bowl, he'll throw it away.
40310 	"Every morning I read the obituaries; if my name's not there,
40335 	"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"
40345 other hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."
40425 	"If it's too loud, you're too old."
40431 	"If you're looking for trouble, I can offer you a wide selection."
40465 	"It wouldn't have been anything, even if it were gonna be a thing."
40480 	"It's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if
40604 	"This is a one line proof... if we start sufficiently far to the
40629 	"Wouldn't it be wonderful if real life supported control-Z?"
40640 	"You're so dumb you don't even have wisdom teeth."
40683 they're changed or help speed the change by breaking them?
40696 Quick!!  Act as if nothing has happened!
40791 bother anyone else that half the world is being told all of our hard-won
40840 Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
40849 this because they are still arguing over what else to add to ADA.
40865 Real computer scientists like having a computer on their desk, else how
40881 Real programmers don't document; if it was
40932 Real Users are afraid they'll break the machine -- but they're never
41008 		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
41129 Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
41141 Remember, if it's being done correctly, here or abroad, it's
41145 Remember kids, if there's a loaded gun in the room, be sure
41146 that you're the one holding it.
41214 Reporter:   "What would you do if you found a million dollars?"
41226 carry a pig for six miles, but if you set it down it might run away."
41248 Republican girls, but feel they're entitled to a little fun first.
41250 Democrats make up plans and then do something else.
41260 Research is the best place to be: you work your buns off, and if it works
41261 you're a hero; if it doesn't, well -- nobody else has done it yet either,
41262 so you're still a valiant nerd.
41264 Research is to see what everybody else has seen,
41265 and think what nobody else has thought.
41275 	And he did it all on someone else's money.
41282 a lot of bunk.  Responsibility is when someone can blame you if something
41284 is to take the blame for your mistakes.  If they're smart, that is.
41379 	(1) Everything has some value -- if you use the right currency.
41390 	Never having to say you're sorry.
41513 	(2) You may park anywhere if you turn your four-way flashers on.
41529 12:	Proofread your writing to see if you any words out.
41559 	     accomplish this, especially if subtly seasoned.
41674 Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed
41680 Ted:	ALL?  Do you realize what you're asking?  Men aren't trained
41681 		to share.  We're trained to protect ourselves by not
41682 		letting anyone too close.  Good grief, if I go around
41685 Ted:	"Sharing"?  "Trust"?  You're really asking me to sail into
41708 Norm:  Pretty nervous if I was in the room.
41816 	It works better if you plug it in.
42032 	subscribe, and you're just dumb enough to think you've got a chance
42054 Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else.
42095 	(1)  The ANRS if DAV is false
42096 	(2)  The AIDS if the ATN message is false and neither:
42126 	"Well", replied the onlooker, "we're taking up a collection -- so
42130 You wouldn't have seen it if you hadn't believed it.
42145 luck than anything else, just inches from a thousand foot drop to jagged
42151 in and see if it does it again."
42243 		notify you if the record has pornographic material or
42330 if you ain't got one to put in your belly, is extremely important.
42356 Sex without class consciousness cannot give satisfaction, even if it is
42409 She always believed in the old adage -- leave them while you're looking
42457 She liked him; he was a man of many qualities, even if most of them
42489 There's nothing else I can do
42502 And if vegetables become too dear
42604 [If youth but knew, if old age but could.]
42713 Since we have to speak well of the dead, let's knock them while they're
42717 Since we're all here, we must not be all there.
42820 Smile!  You're on Candid Camera.
42851 	What you'd say if you had another chance.
42856 that disappear if you ignore them long enough.
42915 So, if there's no God, who changes the water?
42965 you're trying
43020 He know when you're awake.
43021 He knows if you've been bad or good,
43037 So you're back... about time...
43087 Solutions are obvious if one only has the
43114 Some men are all right in their place -- if they only the knew the right
43182 Some of you ... may have decided that, this year, you're going to
43220 Some people in this department wouldn't recognize subtlety if it hit
43223 Some people live life in the fast lane.  You're in oncoming traffic.
43231 Some people only open up to tell you that they're closed.
43273 But if it had to perish twice
43359  3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
43366  7 (naughty): Pardon me, Sir.  Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't
43420 Sometimes I wonder if I'm in my right mind.
43449 like I've just got to bite a cat!  I feel like if I don't bite a cat
43459 else is driving.
43480 	"They're putting dimes in the hole in my head to see the change
43490 Sorry never means having you're say to love.
43519 if he had lost his senses.  When he looks down, paraphrase the question
43609 communicate.  I feel that if a person can't communicate, the very _____least
43655 	wouldn't have had if you'd stayed single.
43675 Stability itself is nothing else than a more sluggish motion.
43754 Statistics means never having to say you're certain.
43846 Now, if they'd only take a bath...
43864 "They'll nay sell that," the foreman	Your stock will slip if you can't ship
43866 "Just leave the wild weeds grow;	See if it sells without the bells
43909 Suaviter in modo, fortiter in re.
43912 Substitute "damn" every time you're inclined to write "very"; your
44047 it would deliver enough power to drive the Queen Elizabeth II.  And if you
44055 But what if he forgets?
44138 Action Required:	Check your watch to see if bars are open yet.  If not,
44162 Action Required:	Find out if you are taken to another bar.  If not,
44210 infinitum -- which is why we're always starting over.
44242 	The unsaid part of what you're thinking.
44265 Take it easy, we're in a hurry.
44293 got were re-runs of The Mickey Mouse Club.
44337 	highlighted, if you live long enough.  Don't take any wooden nickels.
44341 	because you're going to miss the bus again today anyway.  You will
44377 Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.
44414 Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
44416 but weren't sure.  But if you're searching for something you don't
44567 told the player to run over to his office to see if he was in.  "OK, Coach",
44595 So I decided to stick to my good old philosophy: "if it has tits,
44649 something new; everyone thinks you're crazy.
44787 opportunity if we only seize it with both hands and make the most of it.
44834 we'd ALL love to do it.  But we're not going to do it.  It's not the kind of
44839 lined and see if you can come up with something fresh."  Our final award for
44841 [...] for her unyielding grip on "I don't care if they fire me, I've been
44848 	For if t'were tried they might e'en work
44879 the trees helped?"  "Certainly", say the snakes. "We're adders, and we need
44973 RULES.  You're allowed to do anything.  You can drive as fast as you
45105 The best ways are the most straightforward ways.  When you're sitting around
45144 women.  Actually, you're just horny.  It doesn't mean you like women any
45161 working for someone else.
45261 time since the journey began -- pondered snidely if this would dissolve
45268 Or else the other way around.
45375 7:	Work thou not on energized equipment for if thou doest so, thy
45431 subversives.  We intend to clean them out, even if it means rounding up
45525 The day advanced as if to light some work of mine; it was morning,
45575 second envelope.  Then, if problems continue, open the third envelope.
45613 into the Thames, it would be a misfortune.  But if someone dragged him
45621 understand well enough to explain to a computer.  Art is everything else.
45626 is thinking that they're conspiring.
45629 The difference between dogs and cats is that dogs come when they're
45874 everyone else had seven apertures, for sight, hearing, eating, breathing and
45920 outsiders -- if only on their own, albeit undemanding terms.  That is to
45968 The fellow sat down at a bar, ordered a drink and asked the bartender if he
46176 if the character does not have fire resistance.
46279 The good die young -- because they see it's no use living if you've got
46432 They're Over-Exposed
46624 When You're Six Tons -- And They Call You Killer -- It's Hard To Make
46836 if you compare it with a system selling for a tenth its price.
46867 understood.  Indeed, the world is ruled by little else.
46892 when it's through if you are a crook or a martyr.
46932 real tax question, such as how you can cheat, they're useless.
47133 	While he was in the posture, an old lady passed an inquired if he
47155 and everyone else got bored.  Since he had proved unsusceptible to capital
47275 The main problem I have with cats is, they're not dogs.
47421 (But they're gonna have to fight for it.)
47423 The meek will inherit the earth -- if that's OK with you.
47426 chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
47439 The meta-Turing test counts a thing as intelligent if it seeks to
47558 flee to yet another rotten planet in the universe, if thou canst
47585 is trying to convince your parents that you're Haitian.
47588 to watch someone else do it wrong without comment.
47658 lip service to the need for "dialogue," they threatened to walk out if their
47701 perfect partner, you're home free.  Unfortunately, falling out of love
47736 The new Congressmen say they're going to turn the government around.
47774 The night passes quickly when you're asleep
47846 	Use a sunlamp only on weekends.  That way, if the office wise guy
48151 The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it
48182 The person you rejected yesterday could make you happy, if you say yes.
48196 The Pig, if I am not mistaken,
48222 verse that "if they rhymed and rattled all was well".
48255 courtesy, not expecting everyone else to adapt to one's own
48373 be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
48423 The purpose of Physics 7A is to make the engineers realize that they're
48424 not perfect, and to make the rest of the people realize that they're not
48513 The reason they're called wisdom teeth
48649 	especially if you're already married.
48693 a belt of gin from the bottle; anything else is the decadent trappings
48735 	Ningauble shrugged.  "You're a hero.  You should know."
48814 He said, "I see you now, and you're so very young
48880 further testament to the American way, which provides that if you want
48943 You see, you're just like me.
48944 I hope you're satisfied."
49115 	7: Work thou not on energized equipment, for if thou dost, thy
49175 	3: Beta test site?  No, *of course* you're not a beta test site.
49199 (1)	Never fly on Aeroflot if you can possibly avoid it (this used
49202 	know *exactly* what you're doing.
49267 five or six days later you're hungry again.
49294 The trouble with the rat-race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
49355 quicker than anything else are fast women and slow horses.
49460 to fit their views ... which can be very uncomfortable if you happen to
49494 The wages of sin are death; but after they're done taking out taxes,
49559 The whole earth is in jail and we're plotting this incredible jailbreak.
49587 the ignorant man tries to get everything from somebody else.
49603 we're using work at a higher level, more removed from machine, peripheral
49635 It is not reality, although you can express reality there if you wish.
49671 	Even if you started out reasonably healthy in one of Julia's poems,
49732 	The judge, Mr. Justice Solomon, asked him if he had heard any
49767 And William Wordsworth showed that he could do it if he really tried when
49839 if something could have materialized -- and never knowing.
49930 	Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B
50030 There are more things in heaven and earth than any place else.
50048 There are no data that cannot be plotted on a straight line if the axes
50142 wonder.  There are also those who believe that if you stick your fingers up
50218 	"Heaven!  You're in heaven!  That's wonderful!  What's it like?"
50246 like you are going to die and you're afraid that you won't.
50311 For example, if you wanted all of your "creat()" calls to include read
50320 is worth describing, if for no other reason than that we get to use one of
50342 Q:	What would happen if a librarian traveled down in a small
50347 is, if not an antidote, at least an alleviation.  If
50348 you are in a fit of the blues, go nowhere else.
50382 There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly
50423 Internet is generally pretty neutral about the difference. If you're
50503 As long as it is somebody else's.
50536 armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
50650 question," said Nasrudin.  "I could have answered it if I had been
50667 There is one way to find out if a man is honest -- ask him.  If he says
50760 and there was a possibility that, if both doors were opened, he might be
50771 to hit through, if he was to open both doors.
50782 over the world, the President explained that if he died then America
50784 said, "Look!  We're not solving anything like this!  The only fair
50825 to do whatever was necessary for success.  You agreed to forsake, if
50826 necessary, family, hobbies, and friends -- if you had any of these left
50827 (and you might not, if you had signed up too many times before).
50832 you know I've always wanted to be a Texan.  You're a *real* Texan, what
50918 There's a thrill in store for all for we're about to toast
50920 We're here to cheer each pioneer and also proudly boast,
50971 There's no easy quick way out, we're gonna have to live through our
50982 There's no point in being grown up if you can't be childish sometimes.
50994 what you're talking about.
51005 when you don't even know what you're talking about.
51030 work out whether you're really wearing rubber pants.
51117 They can't stop us... we're on a mission from God!
51194 To see if it would run.
51223 They're an insidious bunch, your killer pianos.  Had one get loose on me
51229 They're basically very smelly houseplants until they get to the crawling
51230 age.  You're constantly terrified that they're going to randomly die on
51235 They're giving bank robbing a bad name.
51238 They're just jealous because they don't have three
51243 They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
51245 They're unfriendly, which is fortunate, really.  They'd be difficult
51283 Think honk if you're a telepath.
51393 This fortune would be seven words long if it were six words shorter.
51402 	"I don't care," responds the husband. "just so long as you're out
51433 and you must pay thousands of dollars if you want to fly back out.
51447 For them to read when they're in trouble
51603 hips and screams out, "Do any of you seaweed sucking jarheads think you're
51616 replies, "Sir, it's a... a trap, sir.  They're two of them!"
51629 This process can check if this value is zero, and if it is, it does
51666 often have little else to sustain them.  Humoring them costs nothing and
51822 I'd be fired if that were my job
51845 fifth theory is held by idiots, but it is doubtful if they know any
51852 Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
51964 The sun is the same in a relative way but you're older
52027 Time sure flies when you don't know what you're doing.
52149 To be beautiful is enough! if a woman can do that well who
52166 It is my contention that, if this definition be accepted, there is no country
52194 night and day, to make you everybody else -- means to fight the hardest
52229 To be who one is, is not to be someone else.
52246 To stop the unstoppable crash!		And I know if I'll only be true
52298 before the pencil, you're overdoing it a little.
52323 To blame someone else for your mistakes is even more human.
52416 TO ME, CLOWNS AREN'T FUNNY. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered
52514 what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you
52516 	Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else be required
52540 suspects you're going to discuss an intimate topic, it notifies the
52542 one above it, until finally, if you really humiliate yourself, maybe
52589 Read someone else's mail file.
52715 Top 10 things likely to be overheard if you had a Klingon Programmer:
52743 (1)  Walk with a light step.  Carry helium balloons if possible.
52763  3:	Ha, ha, I can't believe they're actually going to adopt this sucker.
52782 Toto, I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.
52817 	Something that makes you feel like you're getting somewhere.
52831 Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy.
52923 Try to be the best of whatever you are, even if what you are is no good.
53156 the zoo, I did."  And Urho yells back "Yup, and tomorrow we're going to
53192 You're lost!"
53274 	Look at all those points you're losing!
53392 	usable, and it works, and if it breaks they'll quickly tell
53395 	[Okay, okay, I'll leave it in, but I think you're destroying
53460 Unless you love someone, nothing else makes any sense.
53493 if no birds sang there except those that sang best.
53521 text-based adventure game.  You're five feet from making it to your
53549 Valerie: Aww, Tom, you're going maudlin on me ...
53664 Violence stinks, no matter which end of it you're on.  But now and then
53666 frying pan.  Sometimes people are just begging for that frypan, and if we
53705 Virtue would go far if vanity did not keep it company.
53712 Visits always give pleasure: if not on arrival, then on the departure.
53751 information by asking if there was another way to solve the problem.  Von
53897 and say nice things to the machine.  Nothing else seems to work.
53988 We are all dying -- and we're gonna be dead for a long time.
54029 We are going to have peace even if we have to fight for it.
54125 We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company.
54134 We don't know who discovered water, but we're certain it wasn't a fish.
54136 We don't know who it was that discovered water, but we're pretty sure
54223 We have nowhere else to go... this is all we have.
54238 We have the flu.  I don't know if this particular strain has an
54239 official name, but if it does, it must be something like "Martian Death
54343 of the Deity in what they do and think; if this further proposition can be
54443 We should be glad we're living in the time that we are.  If any of us had been
54448 We should have a great many fewer disputes in the world if only words were
54529 we're trying to identify the allegators.
54549 The empire made the only possible call.  "You're out, boy!" he says
54661 He'll come in handy if you run out of food.
54691 should only be ended with an exclamation point if there is something
54692 sensational about her going to the store, for example, if Jane is a
54693 cocker spaniel or if Jane is on a diet that doesn't allow bread or if
54698 standing by!  (Which is pretty amazing, because they're all cocker spaniels!)
54774 guest politician, who wins an Amana home freezer if he can get through
54797 Well, I would -- if they realized that we -- again if -- if we led them
54803 Well, if you can't believe what you read in a comic book, what *___can*
54807 Well, I'm disenchanted too.  We're all disenchanted.
54862 doesn't. In which case, you need someone else to bleed on it as well.
54885 "Well, well, well!  Well if it isn't fat stinking billy goat Billy Boy in
54887 and get one in the yarbles, if ya have any yarble, ya eunuch jelly thou!"
54890 Well, we're big rock singers, we've got golden fingers,
54891 And we're loved everywhere we go.
54922 	The ability to play bridge or golf as if they were games.
54947 We're all in this alone.
54950 We're constantly being bombarded by insulting and humiliating music, which
54957 We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from
54963 We're fantastically incredibly sorry for all these extremely unreasonable
54968 We're happy little Vegemites,
54979 We're Knights of the Round Table
54980 We dance whene'er we're able
54981 We do routines and chorus scenes	We're knights of the Round Table
54984 We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot.	We're given rhymes
54986 In war we're tough and able,		We're opera mad in Camelot
54995 We're living in a golden age.  All you need is gold.
54998 We're mortal -- which is to say, we're ignorant, stupid, and sinful --
55003 "We're not talking about the same thing," he said. "For you the world is
55004 weird because if you're not bored with it you're at odds with it. For me
55013 We're only in it for the volume.
55116 What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
55162 What good is a ticket to the good life, if you can't find the
55168 What good is having someone who can walk on water if you don't follow
55171 What good is it if you talk in flowers, and they think in pastry?
55176 What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth?  Judging from realistic simulations
55213 you have to learn a whole new part if you want to sing the "Messiah",
55214 if you get my drift.  Then I hop right back out, because Robert, with
55220 What I mean (and everybody else means) by the word QUALITY cannot be
55234 What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?  In that case, I
55238 What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream?  Or what's
55239 worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists?
55242 What if there had been room at the inn?
55317 	STATUS is when you're in the Oval Office talking to the President,
55339 if you are an assassin.  The other person is supposed to suffer.
55351 simpler to tell the truth and if a sufficient emergency arises, to tell one,
55389 if something did not stand in his way?
55463 Sure, if your throat 'tis hard to slit,
55535 "You will be fortunate if you can get him to work for you."
55555 Project behind original schedule due	We're working on something else.
55560 Close project coordination		We're gonna spread the blame, campers!
55565 We're moving forward with a fresh	We hired three new guys, and they're
55567 A number of different approaches...	We don't know where we're going, but
55568 						we're moving.
55571 Modifications are underway		We're starting over.
55577 Exclusive			Nobody else has documentation.
55591 Satisfaction Guaranteed		We'll send you another pack if it fails.
55611 What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?
55645 What will you do if all your problems aren't solved by the time you die?
55647 What would you do with a brain if you had one?
55662 What you want, what you're hanging around in the world waiting for, is for
55681 Whatever else can be said about sex, it cannot be called a dignified
55717 Whatever you want to do, you have to do something else first.
55745 What's the use of a good quotation if you can't change it?
55755 When a camel flies, no one laughs if it doesn't get very far!
55839 story; forget Mother Teresa.  Second, even if you lose, how much could
55849 When all else fails, EAT!!!
55851 When all else fails, pour a pint of Guinness in the gas tank, advance
55856 When all else fails, try Kate Smith.
55931 screaming.  Weird masks and actors' clothes hung on the wall, and if he
55956 then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
56044 When I was crossing the border into Canada, they asked if
56048 When I was growing up my mother kept telling me we're just friends.
56086 When I woke up this morning, my girlfriend asked if I had
56193 And if I swallow anything evil,
56195 And if I shiver please give me a blanket,
56273 for every week you're away and get nothing done, there's another when
56327      ** The FTC is concerned about price fixing. You can pay more if
56407 if he could stay the night.  The farmer agreed to put him up.  "I live alone,"
56428 he walked over and whispered, "I'm sorry, sir, but you're allowed only a single
56430 "if you don't move, I'll have to call a manager."  The man moaned again but
56436 	"And where're you from, Sam?"
56535 But it isn't like that at all.  But if it isn't, where did the idea come
56555 When you're threatened by a stranger,
56559 When there is no one else to turn to,
56576 	And think you're a wonderful guy,
56577 	But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
56671 When you're a Yup
56672 You're a Yup all the way
56676 When you're a Yup
56677 You're not just a dreamer
56678 You're making things happen
56679 You're driving a Beamer.
56681 When you're away, I'm restless, lonely
56687 When you're bored with yourself, marry, and be bored with someone else.
56690 When you're dining out and you suspect
56691 something's wrong, you're probably right.
56693 When you're down and out, lift up your
56696 When you're in command, command.
56699 When you're married to someone, they take you for granted ... when
56700 you're living with someone it's fantastic ... they're so frightened
56704 When you're not looking at it, this fortune is written in FORTRAN.
56706 When you're ready to give up the struggle, who can you surrender to?
56731 is to laugh.  But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me.
56757 you can be pretty sure that they're not using it.
56817 Where the system is concerned, you're not allowed to ask "Why?".
56864 admission to someone else.
56979 Who cares if it doesn't do anything?  It was made with
57034 Who will take care of the world after you're gone?
57121 Why can't you be a non-conformist like everyone else?
57135 'Cause if they lived near the bay, they'd be called baygulls.
57163 Why doesn't everybody leave everybody else the hell alone?
57173 pet coon.  This would be a great world to dance in if we didn't have to
57209 	-- I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
57401 head... if you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick...
57467 eased into a conversation with her by asking if she met many dates at
57487 I was told that if SALT would go away, we'd soon have the capability to nuke
57552 Woman would be more charming if one could
57568 Women are a problem, but if you haven't already guessed,
57569 they're the kind of problem I enjoy wrestling with.
57572 Women are all alike.  When they're maids they're mild as milk:
57644 than being slapped is when you get on your knees and say you're sorry.
57681 you cut down a tree, another will grow in its place.  And if you cut
57682 down the new tree, still another will grow.  And if you cut down that
57707 Norm:   I know, and if she calls, I'm not here.
57719 Norm: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.
57854 World tensions have, if anything, increased in the quarter century
57873 	February.  February has only 28 days in it, which means that if
57897 Would it help if I got out and pushed?
57925 Wouldn't this be a great world if being insecure and desperate were
58119 	times as fast, everyone else would get twice as much done since all
58183 XML is like violence: if it doesn't solve your problem, you aren't using
58303 Yeah, but you're taking the universe out of context.
58307 Yeah, if it looks like a duck, and walks like
58316 but they won't go out with you if you don't have any.
58393 You ain't learning nothing when you're talking.
58455 		 But you're not all there.
58476 something foolish -- only if the folly of it escapes you.
58653 They're the ones with arrows sticking out of their backs.
58661 You can bear anything if it isn't your own fault.
58699 You can fool all the people all of the time if the advertising is right
58713 You can get *anywhere* in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
58716 if you will help enough other people get what they want.
58729 You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
58746 if you have a woman as a friend, you're going to wind up drunk and kissing
58791 You can only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.
58928 You could get a new lease on life -- if only you didn't need the first
58931 You could live a better life, if you
58946 You don't become a failure until you're satisfied with being one.
58949 if you're not planning on coming back down.
58983 	"(3) Hey!  Sounds like we took too much!  So we're going to
59011 	a few drinks later you're not so choosy.
59020 You got to be very careful if you don't know
59021 where you're going, because you might not get there.
59024 You got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues,
59073 You have all eternity to be cautious in when you're dead.
59098 You have Egyptian flu: you're going to be a mummy.
59147 You know, Callahan's is a peaceable bar, but if
59154 You know if they ever find a way to harness sarcasm as an energy source,
59169 You're not a kid at thirty-three,
59202 meet Cecil," we shout, "You're late again with the child support!"
59217 You know you're a little fat if you have stretch marks on your car.
59220 You know you're getting old when you're Dad, and you're measuring your
59224 You know you're in a small town when...
59225 	You don't use turn signals because everybody knows where you're going.
59226 	You're born on June 13 and your family receives gifts from the local
59227 		merchants because you're the first baby of the year.
59233 You know you're in trouble when...
59236 3)	You turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes
59241 6)	Your doctor tells you you're allergic to chocolate.
59243 You know you're in trouble when...
59251 6)	Your mother approves of the person you're dating.
59253 You know you're in trouble when...
59264 You know you're in trouble when...
59287 You learn to write as if to someone else
59311 but you're infinitely larger than others.
59316 But maybe it's a lunatic you're looking for?
59355 You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the
59371 and services if it is not specifically exempt.  Report property (goods)
59447 You probably wouldn't worry about what people think of you if you could
59504 if they are dead.
59517 because if the plane goes down, it's you they're gonna eat!
59533 You should tip the waiter $10, minus $2 if he tells you his name,
59534 another $2 if he claims it will be His Pleasure to serve you and
59536 such as "shallots," and $4 if the menu contains the word "fixin's."  In
59544 In New York, tip the taxicab driver $40 if he does not mention his
59779 You won't skid if you stay in a rut.
59796 You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
59807 You'd better smile when they watch you, smile like you're in control.
59831 books, but fortunately, they're not all recommended.
59906 The experts pointed out that a co-worker would have to display most if not
59921 seconds if we felt like it.
59922 		-- Dave Barry, "Stay Fit & Healthy Until You're Dead"
59965 	You think you're falling in love with a person who has a lot in
59977 in your beer.  Being healthy is admirable but don't you think you're going
60006 Your life would be very empty if you had nothing to regret.
60028 	"Y'know, if I were you, I wouldn't have done that!"
60061 true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the
60115 You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
60117 You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.
60126 You're all clear now, kid.
60130 You're almost as happy as you think you are.
60132 You're already carrying the sphere!
60134 You're always thinking you're gonna be
60138 You're at the end of the road again.
60140 You're at Witt's End.
60142 You're being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
60144 You're currently going through a difficult transition period called "Life."
60146 You're definitely on their list.
60149 You're either part of the solution or part of the problem.
60152 You're growing out of some of your problems,
60153 but there are others that you're growing into.
60155 You're just the sort of person I imagined marrying, when I was little...
60159 You're never too old to become younger.
60162 You're not Dave.  Who are you?
60164 You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
60167 You're not my type.  For that matter, you're not even my species!!!
60169 You're reasoning is excellent -- it's
60172 You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.
60174 You're using a keyboard!  How quaint!
60176 You're working under a slight handicap.
60219 and now you're telling me just to be myself?
60228 if only you could get a good picture of it.
60233 You've got to have a gimmick if your band sucks.
60250 	   door you're on.
60253 	Quality seen in new graduates -- if you're quick.
60264 	If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.